Something's gone from inside me.
A darkness.
The tip of the tongue feeling that always nagged at me. Told me I'd forgotten something. Something was missing. Something important I'd meant to do but hadn't.
It's gone.
You're right, Jamesy, it wasn't my fault. It was never my fault.
Jamesy? Jamesy, what's the matter?
He's silent. Like he was when I first got him off the One Dread Guy. He's lost his sheen, is all scratched again, with that crack running up one side.
It was just a few weeks ago now, but it feels like ages ago.
Jamesy?
He doesn't answer me: lies still in my hands. I take the headphones off; the noise of traffic hits me like radio static. The headphones are covered in rust again and creak as I fold them up.
Jamesy's gone. He's left me. But I don't think I need him anymore.
I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid of staying alive.
I'm doing the hard thing. I'm living. And even though it sucks sometimes, I'm managing it. I'm living.
And so are Mum and Dad, we're all living. We shouldn't be doing it on our own.
You only get one mum and dad.
I sit cross-legged on the pavement. The headlights flash by in both directions. Even though the sea is underneath me, all I can smell is exhaust fumes. The suspension bridge slowly rocks me up and down, up and down, up and down. I'm smiling. I can't stop smiling. I taste salt in my mouth and wipe the gritty dampness away from my eyes. I'm smiling and laughing and crying.
Falling and laughing.
A single light comes towards me on the footpath. As it gets closer I see it's someone on a bike. She's almost on me before my eyes make out it's a lassie. She's wearing a cycle helmet and a reflective waistcoat.
There's a flash of blue from Jamesy.
on pass me on pass me on pass me on pass me on pass
The girl on the bike stops because I'm blocking the whole pavement.
'Excuse me.'
'Sorry,' I reply and stand up.
'Cheers.'
I nod as she puts her foot down on the pedal, propels herself forward, away from me. As she passes I drop Jamesy into the basket attached to the back of her bike. She doesn't even notice me do it.
The beat goes on.
The Wicker Tree
Robin Hardy
ISBN 978 1 906817 61 9
PBK £7.99
A black comedy of religious sexuality and pagan murder, which inhabits the same territory as The Wicker Man.
If I am a Rabbi, Jehova is my God. If I am a Mullah, Allah the merciful is He. If a Christian, Jesus is my Lord. Millions of people worldwide worship the sun. Here in Tressock I believe the old religion of the Celts fits our needs at this time. Isn't that all you can ask of a religion?
Gospel singer Beth and her cowboy boyfriend Steve, two virgins promised to each other through 'the Silver Ring Thing', set off from Texas to enlighten the Scottish heathens in the ways of Christ. When, after initial hostility, they are welcomed with joy and elation to the village of Tressock, they assume their hosts simply want to hear more about Jesus.
How innocent and wrong they are.
Archie and the North Wind
Angus Peter Campbell
ISBN 978 1906817 38 1
PBK £8.99
The old story has it that Archie, tired of the north wind, sought to extinguish it.
Archie genuinely believes the old legends he was told as a child. Growing up on a small island off the Scottish coast and sheltered from the rest of the world, despite all the knowledge he gains as an adult, he still believes in the underlying truth of these stories. To escape his mundane life, Archie leaves home to find the hole where the North Wind originates, to stop it blowing so harshly in winter.
Funny, original and very moving, Archie and the North Wind demonstrates the raw power of storytelling.
The tale is complex, but told in confident style. Although every page is marked with some unquiet reflection, these are off-set by amusing observations which give the novel a sparkle.
SCOTTISH REVIEW OF BOOKS
Da Happie Laand
Robert Alan Jamieson
ISBN 978 1906817 86 2
PBK £9.99
In the summer of the year of the Millennium, a barefoot stranger comes to the door of the manse for help. But three days later he disappears without trace, leaving a bundle of papers behind.
Da Happie Laand weaves the old minister's attempt to make sense of the mysteries left behind by his 'lost sheep' – the strange tale of a search for his missing father at midsummer – with an older story relating the fate of a Zetlandic community across the centuries, the tales of those people who emigrated to New Zetland in the South Pacific, and those who stayed behind.
Jamieson's strange masterpiece Da Happie Laand haunts dreams and waking hours, as it takes my adopted home of Shetland, twisting it and the archipelago's history into the most disturbing, amazing, slyly funny shapes.
TOM MORTON, THE SUNDAY HERALD
A Snail's Broken Shell
Ann Kelley
ISBN 978 1906817 40 4
PBK £8.99
What if I had been born with a normal heart and normal everything else? Would I be the same person or has my heart condition made me who I am?
For the first time in years Gussie can run, climb and jump. Every breath she takes is easier now, and every step more confident, but Gussie can't help wondering about her donor. Was she young? Had she been very sick or was there an accident?
And with her new life comes a whole new set of problems. She is going back to school at last – but she doesn't know anyone her own age. With school not meeting up to her expectations, Gussie turns to her old pastimes of birdwatching and photography, but troubling news awaits her there too…
A Snail's Broken Shell is the fourth book in the the Gussie series. The first in the series, The Bower Bird, won the Costa Children's Award and the UK Literacy Association Book Award.
An Experiment in Compassion
Des Dillon
ISBN 978 1906817 73 2
PBK £8.99
Stevie's just out of jail. Newly sober and building a relationship with his son, he's taking control of his own life. But what about his younger brother, Danny?
In this touching and darkly funny story of retribution and forgiveness, Stevie battles against the influences that broke him before, while Danny and his girlfriend spiral further into selfdestruction. Can the bond between the two brothers be enough to give them both a fresh start?
Cycles of alcohol abuse affect individuals, families and communities. For each person who tries to break away, there are innumerable pressures forcing them back into familiar patterns. And for those that can't escape, that are fated to make the same choices again and again – can we still feel compassion? …amongst the violence and paranoia, lies hope, love and a great deal of wit. And it is this that Dillon captures so truthfully: the backstory behind the Buckfast. THE LIST
My Epileptic Lurcher
Des Dillon
ISBN 978 1906307 74 5
HBK £12.99
The incredible story of Bailey, the dog who walked on the ceiling; and Manny, the guy who got kicked out of Alcoholics Anonymous for swearing.
Manny is newly married, with a puppy, a flat by the sea, and the BBC on the verge of greenlighting one of his projects. Everything sounds perfect. But Manny has always been an anger management casualty, and the idyllic village life is turning out to be more League of Gentlemen than The Good Life. As his marriage suffers under the strain of his constant rages, a strange connection begins to emerge between Manny's temper and the health of his beloved Lurcher.
…it's one of the most effortlessly charming books I've read in a long time.
SCOTTISH REVIEW OF BOOKS
This Road is Red
Alison Irvine
ISBN 978 1906817 81 7
PBK £7.99
It is 1964. Red Road is ri
sing out of the fields. To the families who move in, it is a dream and a shining future.
It is 2010. The Red Road Flats are scheduled for demolition. Inhabited only by intrepid asylum seekers and a few stubborn locals, the once vibrant scheme is tired and out of time.
Between these dates are the people who filled the flats with laughter, life and drama. Their stories are linked by the buildings; the sway and buffet of the tower blocks in the wind, the creaky lifts, the views and the vertigo. This Road is Red is a riveting and subtle novel of Glasgow.
…one of the most important books about Glasgow and urban life I've read in a very long time. It offers an insight into city life that few Scottish novels can emulate.
PROFESSOR WILLY MALEY
Remember Remember
Hazel McHaffie
ISBN 978 1906817 78 7
PBK £7.99
The secret has been safely kept for 60 years, but now it's on the edge of exposure.
Doris Mannering once made a choice that changed the course of her family's life. The secret was safely buried, but now with the onset of Alzheimer's her mind is wandering. She is haunted by the feeling that she must find the papers before it's too late, but she just can't remember…
Jessica is driven to despair by her mother's endless searching. But it's not until lives are in jeopardy that she consents to Doris going into a residential home. As Jessica begins clearing the family home, bittersweet memories and unexpected discoveries await her.
But these pale into insignificance against the bombshell her lawyer lover, Aaron, hands her.
It provides an amazing insight into the thought process of someone with dementia, as well as being a gripping and heartfelt narrative.
JOURNAL OF DEMENTIA CARE
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LUATH PRESS takes its name from Robert Burns, whose little collie Luath (Gael., swift or nimble) tripped up Jean Armour at a wedding and gave him the chance to speak to the woman who was to be his wife and the abiding love of his life. Burns called one of 'The Twa Dogs' Luath after Cuchullin's hunting dog in Ossian's Fingal. Luath Press was established in 1981 in the heart of Burns country, and is now based a few steps up the road from Burns' first lodgings on Edinburgh's Royal Mile.Luath offers you distinctive writing with a hint of unexpected pleasures.
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