How We Fall

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How We Fall Page 3

by Melissa Toppen


  “Dawn. Hey.” I give her a once over when she stops directly in front of me. God she feels like a blast from the past. She hasn’t changed a bit over the past six years.

  She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a tight squeeze before I can even process that she’s actually standing right in front of me. When she pulls back, a wide smile is etched across her face.

  “Look at you.” She gestures toward me. “You look incredible.” I’m a little offended by how shocked she seems. Was I that much of a heinous beast in high school?

  “Thanks.” I brush over her comment. “When did you get in?”

  “About an hour ago.”

  “I’m really glad you could make it. It will mean a lot to Joan that you’re here.

  “You couldn’t have kept me away. That boy was like a brother to me. It really hasn’t set in that he’s gone.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.” Sensing my emotions getting the better of me, I quickly add, “Are you staying with your mom? How’s she doing?”

  “Yeah. She’s good. She said you bought the place over by 260. I don’t have your number so I was just on my way over to see if you wanted to join Eric and me at the bar for a drink.” She shuffles her feet against the concrete like she’s nervous to be standing here talking to me. I get the feeling. No matter who we were as kids, now we’re nothing more than strangers.

  “Eric?” I question.

  “My boyfriend.” She smiles. “So will you join us?”

  “Yeah. I think I’d like that.”

  Honestly I just don’t want to go home. Even with Nate there it’s just too quiet.

  “Awesome.” She turns, waiting until I’m next to her before taking off toward Five Mile Grill.

  “I was sorry to hear about your mom.” She finally speaks after several long moments of silence.

  “Thanks. She was sick for a while. It was a relief to let her go, no matter how much I didn’t want her to.”

  “Man,”—she shakes her head—“I can’t imagine living without my mom. I don’t know how you do it.”

  “I just do.” I shrug.

  “You were always the strong one out of all of us.”

  “What?” I gape at the side of her face, not sure what the hell she’s talking about.

  “I mean it, Mel. You were. Out of the four of us you were always the toughest. I can count the times I saw you cry on one finger, and we were friends for half our lives.”

  Because you never saw me when I was alone in my bedroom—I think, recalling all the times I cried over Cole Lincoln.

  “I don’t think I’m that tough.” I shrug, turning my eyes forward as we make our way downhill, taking the shortcut through Ms. Creey’s back yard.

  “Mom told me what you did. Raising your brothers, making sure they graduated. You sacrificed everything for them.”

  “I don’t see it as a sacrifice. Besides, they were almost grown by then. I just had to make sure they got to school, ate, and didn’t kill each other.”

  “You’re being too modest. You gave up college, a life, to be here for them.”

  “It’s what you do for family.” I shrug.

  She thinks on that for a long minute.

  “I’d like to think I would have been able to do the same, but if I’m being honest, I don’t know that I could. I’m too selfish.”

  I almost laugh... Almost. At least she knows herself.

  “Well lucky for you, you don’t have any siblings to worry about.”

  “Yeah, that’s true.” She sighs, quickly adding, “So do you think Cole will show up?”

  Just the mention of his name off her lips makes my stomach knot.

  “I doubt it. Why do you ask?” I force out, not wanting to give her any reason to suspect that I still give one shit about that boy.

  “I don’t know. I just, I think about him a lot. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had I not broken up with him.”

  “You broke up with him?” I blurt, surprised by this news.

  “You didn’t know that?” I can feel her questioning eyes on the side of my face.

  “I didn’t talk to Cole about you,” I say flatly.

  “Oh. I guess I assumed you guys talked about everything.” She turns her gaze forward as the grill comes into view.

  “We did, but not when we got older.” Ready for a change in conversation, I move to safer ground. “So Eric, huh? Tell me what’s going on there.”

  “He’s amazing. He’s not the hottest man I’ve dated, but he’s definitely the sweetest. He treats me like a princess, and you know how much I love that.” She giggles.

  I have to admit, I’m a bit shocked to find out that Dawn would go for the nice guy rather than the heartbreaking looker. She’s always been pretty vain.

  “I’m really happy for you. How long have you been together?” I go through the normal steps of polite conversation even though now I’m only half listening.

  “Ten months tomorrow.”

  She grins, causing my gaze to follow hers to where a man is standing on the wooden porch of the grill, clearly looking around for someone.

  “Speak of the devil.” She takes off, closing the distance between her and the man within seconds. Tossing herself into his arms, she lays a big kiss on his lips.

  “What took you so long, babe?” I hear Eric say as I approach.

  It’s only a brief moment before his light eyes turn to me. Slowly lowering Dawn to her feet.

  “You must be Melanie.” He gives me a warm, crooked smile, extending his hand to me the moment I reach them.

  “Eric, I presume.” I shake his hand.

  “Dawn has told me so much about you,” he says on a nod. “I’m so excited to meet her childhood best friend.”

  I’m more than a little surprised by the comment. I have always believed she kind of hated me the way I did her, but I don’t vocalize such thoughts.

  “Can I buy you ladies a drink?” he asks, releasing my hand before smiling down at Dawn.

  She’s right, he’s not anything like the guys she dated in high school. He’s tall and super skinny, with crooked front teeth and an abnormally large dip in his chin, but he’s also oddly adorable.

  “Of course,” Dawn coos, kissing him on the mouth with a loud smack before grabbing my hand and dragging me into the bar behind her.

  I feel like a teenager all over again, with Dawn’s bubbliness dancing all around me. What was it I didn’t like about her again? Oh, that’s right,

  she stole Cole right out from under me.

  As if he was yours to steal—my mind spits back at me.

  We end up at a high top table just a few feet from the bar. Once the drinks start flowing so does the conversation. We avoid talking about Michael, which both feels good and bad. I don’t want to drag the night down, but I almost feel like we owe it to him to talk about him, to remember his life.

  I text Nate shortly after arriving at the bar to tell him to stop by if he gets finished early, but I don’t expect he’ll make it.

  Meanwhile, Dawn and Eric are more than eager to talk about themselves, and honestly, I don’t really mind. They tell me about how they met. Apparently he’s in banking, and she met with him to inquire about financing a car.

  “You can imagine my surprise when I got a call saying I was approved for the loan followed by a request for a date once the car was mine.” She looks at him adoringly.

  “What can I say, she had me the second she sat down in my office.” He kisses her temple and a rush of jealousy settles in my gut. I wish Nate were here.

  As much as I care about Nate and I know he cares about me, there’s one thing that has always irked me about our relationship, and that’s his job. It always comes first. And while he says the right things and constantly offers to go places or do things with me, I’ve learned he rarely follows through if I try to take him up on it.

  “So to make a long story short,” Dawn picks up where he left off, pulling me back to the conversation. “
I got my car, and I got the man.”

  “Yeah you did,” Eric interjects a wide smile on his face.

  “So you’re living in Dallas, is that right?” I ask, taking a long pull of my beer.

  “We’re in a suburb of Dallas,” he says before standing. “Can I get you ladies another?”

  “None for me,” I say, knowing I’m riding a good buzz right now and not wanting to overdo it.

  I know how easy it would be for me to flip the switch and drink my emotions, but I need to stay clear. I can’t afford to break down. At least not yet.

  “Me please.” Dawn bounces, clearly rocking a pretty good buzz herself.

  “You got it, babe.” He kisses the top of her brown bob before taking off toward the bar.

  God these two are way too touchy feely for my taste. If I weren’t four beers deep, I’d probably feel a bit uncomfortable.

  Once Eric returns to the table, I take my out to leave. As soon as I stand Dawn’s big brown eyes narrow in on me. It isn’t until then that I realize she really is just as pretty as she was as a kid. I had hoped she would have grown out of it, be one of those girls who was pretty in school but then got fat and ugly after graduation. It’s my competitive nature, I know. I hate that I always felt less than her.

  “You’re leaving?” she questions as I slide my cell phone into the back pocket of my jeans.

  “Yeah, I have a photo shoot in the morning. I should probably get some sleep.” Not an unreasonable excuse seeing how it’s ten already.

  She pouts out her bottom lip like a two-year-old, and I can’t contain the laugh that bubbles over. Drunk Dawn is pretty funny, I gotta admit.

  “What’s so funny over here?”

  I turn toward the voice, a small relief running through me when I meet Nate’s blue eyes.

  “Hey babe.” He smirks, clearly liking that he’s caught me off guard.

  “You came.” I smile, trying to hide my shock as I turn to introduce him.

  “Dawn, Eric, this is Nate—my boyfriend.”

  I watch Dawn’s eyes as she drinks him in. Nate is very good looking, something I am well aware of. I’ve often times wondered why the hell he chose me.

  “Oh my god, Mel!” she squeals. “You didn’t tell us you had a boyfriend.” I can tell just by her reaction that she’s scoping out my man. Truthfully, I kind of like that right now I seem to have the upper hand.

  “Probably because neither of us shut up long enough to let her talk,” Eric interjects, reaching his hand out to shake Nate’s. “Nice to meet you, Nate.”

  “You as well,” he says, releasing Eric’s hand before turning back to me. “You heading home. I was hoping to have a drink with you.” He tucks a strand of my long, dark hair behind my ear.

  “I’ll have one more.” I grin when he winks before setting off toward the bar.

  “Mel!” Dawn blurts the second he’s out of ear shot. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us about him. I mean, look at him.” She clearly checks out my boyfriend’s ass at the bar right in front of Eric who doesn’t seem the slightest bit fazed.

  “Yeah, sorry. My relationship status just didn’t come up.”

  “How long have you two been together?” She rests her elbows on the table and leans in like she can’t wait to hear everything.

  “Two years. I was doing a photo shoot for the WTTO news station for their website, and I caught him watching me from across the room. The rest is history.”

  “So you work for WTTO?” She directs her question to Nate who slides onto the stool next to me and hands me another beer.

  “I do.” He nods, taking a pull of beer. “I’m the writer for the sports broadcast.”

  “What does that entail exactly?” She leans forward like she’s really interested.

  “Well, a lot of stats research and fact checking, but I do get to go to just about any Indians, Cavaliers, Browns or any other local game that I want— on the company—purely business of course.” He smiles, really turning on the charm.

  “Oh wow. That must be so cool.” Dawn seems so interested it’s borderline annoying.

  “It’s a pretty good gig. I get to work from home a lot which is nice. Unfortunately when I do have to go into the office, my girlfriend lives an hour and a half from the city.” He nudges my shoulder playfully. “I’ve been trying to get her to move there with me for the last year, but she’s adamant about staying here.” He throws me a sideways glance.

  We’ve argued over this very thing more times than I can count, but I always hold my ground. A part of me feels connected to this place in a way I can’t explain. The other part of me is scared to move to Cleveland because I’m afraid of what will happen to our relationship if I do. I can handle mine and Nate’s ups and downs in small doses. I just don’t know if I can do it full time.

  “This is home.” I shrug, taking a drink of beer to keep from having to say more.

  Thankfully the conversation takes a detour away from me, and for the better part of the next hour I listen to Eric, who surprisingly is a sports fan, you wouldn’t know from looking at him, go on and on about what teams are in line for the playoffs and who they think hold a good shot of taking it all the way based on the mid-season standings.

  Just when I’m about to suggest we call it a night, Dawn’s eyes flash toward the door and turn wider than I think I’ve ever seen them.

  I immediately follow her gaze trying to spot what she’s looking at. They land on a tall, broad man who I wouldn’t have even recognized if his eyes hadn’t immediately met mine like he knew exactly where to find me. All the color instantly drains from my face. I feel like I’m looking at a ghost, someone I attempted to bury long ago. And yet, he looks nothing like the person I remember. But the eyes... It’s the same dark eyes I spent eight years of my life staring into. I used to see my future in those eyes. Now, I see a stranger.

  He stalks toward us, his gaze locked so intensely on mine I don’t notice the lengthy blonde on his arm until he reaches our table, or maybe I do but I’m too focused on him to see her.

  This is not the boy I remember. This is not the sweet kid with the twinkle in his eye and the dimples so big they took over his entire face. He radiated youth and laughter, always out to find an adventure. This guy—this man—is not the Cole I remember.

  His face is covered in a full, short cut beard, his long hair pulled back in a knot showing off how it’s shaved underneath. There’s a hardness to him, his dark eyes even darker than I remembered. He steps next to the table, his body twice as large as when he left, and I damn near give into the shiver that threatens to spill over and tell him exactly what his presence is doing to me.

  “Cole!” Dawn bounces right out of her seat and into his arms just inches from where I’m sitting.

  Normally the sight would make me physically ill, but for some reason his eyes find mine over her shoulder, and he holds my gaze making me feel like even though he’s holding her, he’s picturing me. My lungs empty on a large whoosh, and I spend the next several beats trying to pull air back into them.

  I can feel Nate tense behind me, but I can’t force my gaze away.

  Depositing Dawn to her feet, she slides back into her stool. I hear her start to tell Eric who the man is, but her voice seems a million miles away as his body turns toward mine.

  “Aren’t you gonna say hi, Mel,” he purrs, that velvety smooth voice I remember so well gruffer than it used to be. Goose bumps erupt across my body as I realize just how close he’s standing to me.

  I don’t know what to do. Hiding underneath the table sounds good right about now.

  Keep it cool, Melanie. It’s just Cole freaking Lincoln.

  Knowing I can’t avoid it and not wanting to stand here acting like I’ve completely lost my shit, I slowly stand, my nostrils accosted by his sexy scent moments before he pulls me into a tight hug.

  “Hi.” It comes out weakly as he basically squeezes the life out of me.

  I want to punch myself in the face for le
tting his embrace make me feel something, anything.

  A smile quirks up one side of his mouth as he releases me, studying me for a long moment. I visibly tremble under his gaze.

  It was easy to hide the way he made me feel when we were kids. I mean, he was gorgeous even then, but there was an easiness about him. Not anymore. Just looking at me the way he is brings my feelings bubbling to the top of my skin, and it’s like he can smell it seeping from my pores.

  Stop being paranoid, Mel, he can’t sense anything. You’re just freaking the hell out. Oh god how is it possible he’s so damn hot?

  “Damn it’s good to see you.” His smile widens as he speaks.

  Only then does he finally acknowledge the rest of the table, giving me a chance to catch my breath.

  “Hey. Cole,” he says casually, reaching his hand out to the man next to me.

  “Nate Brennan.” I glance to the side to see Nate not totally losing his shit, which is a good thing. He seems cool as a cucumber. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I only feel like my heart is beating on the outside of my chest.

  Guilt blasts through me, but I instantly shut it down. I can sort through how fucked up all this is later.

  “Melanie’s boyfriend.” When Nate adds that statement, I know he’s sizing Cole up.

  Okay, so maybe it isn’t just me. Maybe I really am that transparent and everything I thought was in my head is out in the open for all to see.

  Shut up, Melanie! He’s just introducing himself as your boyfriend, a perfectly acceptable thing to do considering he is, in fact, your boyfriend.

  Cole nods without commenting, turning his attention to Eric.

  “I take it you two are together,” Cole observes, shaking Eric’s hand as well.

  “Eric.” He announces his name first. “And yes, we are together.” He smiles at Dawn, tucking her into his side.

  “It’s nice to meet you. Mind if we join you guys?” he asks, sliding a couple stools over from the vacant table next to us without waiting for a response.

  The table isn’t made for six people, and I don’t miss the way his knee brushes mine when he slides into his stool.

  I try to ignore the rush of adrenaline that pumps through me and turn my attention to the blonde now occupying the stool on his left.

 

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