“You and your hair bands.” I laugh, tightening my grip on her.
“Shut up and dance with me, Cole.” She closes her eyes and lays her head on my chest, and fuck if that doesn’t do something magical to me.
Before I know it, we’re lost in the song, in the words, in the feeling of being wrapped so tightly together I can feel her heart beating against my own. Her sweet smell of cotton candy and vanilla dances around me, and I’m quickly drunk on her scent.
It isn’t until I hear her quietly singing along with the words that I nearly lose it all together and profess my love for her right here on the spot. Instead, I settle for singing the words right back to her.
I’m not the greatest singer in the world, but I just need some way to tell her what I need, how I feel, what I want, without actually saying the words; not that she has any clue that’s what I’m doing.
The moment is exquisite and for the smallest sliver of time it really feels like she IS mine. Like she belongs right where she is, tucked against me.
We sway together, body’s melded, hearts in unison, arms gripping each other like we never want to let go.
Only when the song ends, she does let go. She drops her hold and takes a full step back, a forced smile planted firmly on her face.
That’s when I see it—the look in her eyes that tells me maybe, just maybe, I’m not alone in all of this. But as quickly as it appeared, it disappears. She takes a deep breath, and I can feel the wall going back up—the one she placed between us when I started dating Dawn.
I want to plead with her not to, to see me the way she’s always seen me, but I know it’s too little too late. I knew I lost her the moment I approached her at her locker last year to find out she knew about me and Dawn. I could sense it right then and there that I had crossed a line I probably would never come back from.
I wish I could say I broke things off with Dawn and professed my love to Melanie right there on the spot, but that simply didn’t happen. Because, well, I’m a stupid boy who makes really stupid choices.
“You’re not half as bad at dancing as I thought you’d be,” Melanie jokes, pulling me from my thoughts.
She turns, nudging my shoulder as we make our way off the dance floor.
“You’re not so bad either, kid.” I nudge her back.
I open my mouth to say more, but the words never make it to the surface because Ian chooses right then to make an appearance, looping his arm around Melanie’s waist the moment we reach him.
“I wasn’t sure where you went,” he says, kissing the side of her head.
The action makes me want to punch him right in the throat. Totally irrational I know. But I’m sixteen and super territorial over a girl I have no right to.
“Sorry, Cole was showing me his sick dance moves.” She smiles in my direction.
“Chris and Dawn want to get some pictures with us,” he says, completely ignoring her statement.
“Okay, sounds good. Thanks for the dance, Cole.” She throws me a little wave before disappearing into the crowd with her date, leaving me once again cursing myself for letting her go.
“Toe socks?” Cole asks, laughing when I scrunch my nose.
We’re lounging on the couch in his living room, going through fads we went through as kids to see if anything stuck with us as adults.
It’s hard to believe the weekend is almost over. I feel like I just got here and already it’s Sunday morning.
“I don’t know how I ever wore those.” I snuggle deeper into his side where I’ve spent most of the weekend.
“Football cards?” I ask.
“I haven’t collected them in years, but I still have them all,” he admits. “Thought maybe one day I could pass them along to my son.”
I suck in a sharp breath, having never heard Cole mention kids before. I mean, I know it’s typically the natural progression of life, but it’s not something I’ve really thought much of.
Well, until now. Now all I can think about is a dark eyed, brown haired little boy toddling around, looking just like Cole. I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t warm my heart.
“Those sour gummies you used to love so much?” Cole cuts into my thoughts, pulling me back to the conversation.
“Nope, believe it or not, I grew out of my sour phase.”
“No?” He looks at me with wide, playful eyes. “Melanie Anderson who used to live on sour gummies doesn’t like sour things anymore?”
“What can I say, my taste buds have matured.” I giggle when he squeezes my side playfully. “Taco Bell?”
“Still love it,” he answers without hesitation.
“Yuck, seriously?” I thought for sure this would be something he would have outgrown. I remember we would go there as kids. It was always Cole’s restaurant of choice, and between him and Michael, they would eat upwards of fifteen soft tacos—sometimes more.
“What can I say; I love my greasy, processed Mexican food. Though, I will say I eat it way less than I used to.”
“Clearly.” I trail my hand along his rock hard stomach. “God, you used to eat that like two or three days a week. So gross.”
“There is nothing gross about Taco Bell.” He shakes his head and looks down at me in mock horror.
“If you say so...” I roll my eyes.
“What about you? I’m pretty sure you had an unhealthy relationship with those frappe things you used to always drink.”
“That is true. I did have a problem.” I laugh. “And while yes, I do still indulge in one once in a while, I don’t drink them nearly as much as I used to.”
“Decided drinking sugar on top of sugar topped with more sugar wasn’t that good for you did ya?” he teases.
“Okay, Mr. Taco Bell.” I jump when he squeezes the spot right about my knee. It’s my weak spot, the only place I’m ticklish.
I scramble off the couch the moment the contact is made. He throws his head back and lets out a full belly laugh. The sound of it dancing around me the most incredible thing in the world. God, how I missed his laugh.
“Still hate being tickled I see.” He narrows his eyes to where I’m now standing over by the windows. “Get your ass back over here.” He slides onto his back and holds his arms open for me.
I don’t hesitate going to him. I denied myself the comfort of his arms far too long to pass up the chance to stay in them as long as I can.
The minute I’m snuggled on top of him—my head on his chest, his hands go to my hair, playing with the strands that have fallen out of my messy bun.
“Hair bands?” he asks, like touching my hair somehow reminded him of my lifelong obsession with eighties hair bands.
“Still love them like I did then.” I giggle.
“How did I know that was going to be your answer?” His laughter vibrates against me.
“Because hair bands are the best bands ever.” I laugh, busting out a verse of “I’m the One” by Mr. Big.
He immediately covers his ears as he shifts below me. The next thing I know I’m pinned beneath him, and he starts singing a different song even louder than I’m singing mine, effectively drowning me out.
It isn’t until my words give way to laughter that I realize what he’s singing. Our song. Well, the song I dubbed our song after sophomore homecoming.
He smiles above me when he sees the realization on my face and then moves closer, his lips almost touching mine as he whispers the words “Forever in my heart, I’ve finally found the love of a lifetime” before laying a deep, toe-curling kiss to my mouth
I can feel the kiss everywhere. Like electricity it pulses through my veins, and the aftershock still lingers long after he pulls back and smiles down at me.
“That’s what I wanted to do the first time I sang that song to you. Better late than never.” He shrugs adorably.
“The things you remember blow me away,” I admit.
“I told you earlier, I remember it all.”
“You know, that’s the first and last sl
ow dance we ever shared,” I observe out loud.
“Well then, it sounds like something we need to remedy—say maybe at our wedding?” He kisses the tip of my nose.
“Wedding?” I choke out. “Moving a little fast there aren’t ya?” I joke.
I know it sounds crazy, but if he asked me, I’d probably marry him tomorrow. I love him that much. I’ve loved him that much my entire life. I know we’ve spent six years apart, but it’s like no time has passed.
We’re still Mel and Cole, the inseparable best friends who have always shared a connection that ran deeper than what we were able to process as kids. But we’re not kids anymore, and I know what I want, I’ve always known, but now I’m just more sure of it.
“Too soon?” His perfect mouth is quirked up in a grin, and he looks down at me with mischievous eyes.
“Um, just a little.”
“Hmph.” He pouts playfully, pushing up to settle back on his knees, finally releasing my hands.
“Come back here.” I reach for him, but he stays exactly where he is, looking down at me with his arms now crossed over his chest.
“Not until you agree to marry me.” His dark eyes remain locked on mine, all the playfulness now gone from his voice.
“Shut up and stop playing.” I mirror his action, crossing my arms in front of myself even though I’m lying on my back.
“I’m not playing. I’ve already asked you to marry me and if I remember right, you said yes. So...” he draws out, “...I’m calling no take backs.”
“You can’t call no take backs on something I agreed to when I was twelve-years-old.” I try to fight the smile threatening to take over my face.
“I can and I am,” he states matter of fact.
“Why do you want to marry me, anyway?” I ask playfully.
“So you can be mine forever.”
“I’m already yours. I’m here aren’t I?” I gesture around the room. “Cole Lincoln, you’ve owned my heart since we were kids. I’ll marry you today if that’s what it takes to prove to you that as long as you’ll have me I’m not going anywhere.”
A smile instantly takes over his entire face, and he collapses back down on top of me. His mouth is on mine before I can say another word, but it vanishes too quickly for my liking. I swear I could kiss this man all day, every day. It’s like his lips were made for mine.
Eyes still closed, I try to pull his head back down to mine, but he doesn’t budge. I open my eyes to find him hovering just a couple inches above my face.
“Is it too soon to tell you that I’m crazy about you?” He smiles, rubbing his nose against mine. “I can’t get enough of you.” Finally I get another taste of his lips, but then he pulls back again and I whine over the loss.
He chuckles.
“You’re greedy.” He nips my bottom lip with his teeth. “I like this side of you.”
“Then stop denying me.” I pout.
“Okay,” he whispers against my lips before kissing me hard and deep. “I mean, you did agree to marry me after all,” he murmurs into my mouth.
He stops talking after that. We both do. I’m immediately lost to the sensation of him—the feeling of his body against mine, the way he groans my name, the way his hands knot in my hair. Every touch, every sound, every kiss is more intense, more passionate, and more terrifying than the last.
I’m scared to let myself fall back in love with Cole. But the problem is I don’t think I ever fell out of love with him. I’m scared that once I open myself completely that’s when the other shoe will drop. I would lying if I said I wasn’t waiting for it.
Things like this don’t happen in real life.
People don’t get the fairytale.
Life is messy and complicated and has a way of destroying the things you want the most. I don’t know if I could bear losing Cole now. Now that I’ve felt him inside me, explored his body, heard him whisper how he’s loved me his whole life—I can’t ever go back. I can’t go back to wondering what if and dreaming what we could have been like.
I now know what we can be like, and it’s so much more than I ever dreamed.
“Come on, there’s somewhere I want to take you before you leave.” Cole tightens his grip on my hand and veers to the left on the sidewalk, heading in the opposite direction of his apartment.
“Where?” I ask, knowing he needs to get back to work soon.
He took off from work on Monday despite my efforts at insisting he go. We can’t just put a pause on life. We have to get back to the real world no matter how much I wish I could just stay locked up in his apartment with him for the rest of my life.
“You’ll see.” He smiles down at me before turning his attention forward.
He tried to take off work today, too, but I insisted that he go, promising to meet him for lunch before heading home. I have to admit, there’s something to be said about the professional side of Cole. Dressed in a dark suit and blue tie, his brown hair pulled back and his beard trimmed short; he’s lucky he was able to get out of the apartment this morning. I was tempted to change my mind and ask him to stay home another day.
But I stood strong, no matter how much I didn’t want to. I have a photo shoot first thing in the morning, and I know he has tons of work to do, so I thought it would be for the best if I headed home this afternoon. Of course, that was after he made me swear that I would be back Friday evening, which I happily did.
He didn’t bring up the marriage thing again. A part of me thinks he needed to hear me say I was all in. If he’s feeling anything like I am, he probably needs all the reassurance I can give him.
It’s terrifying to let yourself openly love someone you’ve loved in secret for over half your life. It’s overwhelming, the feelings that swallow you whole. I’m still trying to get a grasp on everything.
“Here we are.” Cole pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to see a tall, sleek building in front of me, Craft Perish etched into the sign above the front doors.
I look from the building to Cole and then back to the building. It may seem like such an insignificant thing, but to me it’s everything. He’s bringing me into his world.
“Come on.” He tugs my hand, leading me up a set of concrete stairs and through the sliding glass doors that open up as soon as we reach the landing.
The building is incredible, unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Tall pillars line the lobby, a reception area on one side and a sitting area complete with a fireplace on the other.
Marble floors stretch across the expansive space, and every single detail is perfection. The lights that hang from the ceiling, the spiral staircases that are out in the open rather than tucked away like most stairwells are.
When Cole leads me into an elevator that looks like it’s made of glass, I can’t believe what I’m looking at. It’s like something right out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
“Cole, this is...” I trail off, turning around to look down at the lobby as we climb to the fifth floor where Cole’s office is located.
“Pretty amazing, huh?” I can feel him standing close behind me, his breath warm on the back of my neck.
Turning in his arms, I hug his middle tightly. I open my mouth to thank him for bringing me here but am silenced with the elevator dings and the doors slide open.
Cole’s floor opens up to large waiting area on both sides, followed by an unmanned reception desk.
He leads me through double wood doors and down to the end of the hall where two offices sit. The first is a small glass office with only a desk sitting directly in the middle of it. The second is behind a large wood door that opens up into an office ten times the size of the first.
“Welcome to my home away from home.” Cole chuckles, leading me inside.
There’s a pretty good sized desk next to a large section of windows, a seating area of two chairs directly across from it. It’s a pretty standard office that you’d see in any other executive building across the country except for one major thing, the lar
ge table on the far wall surrounded by boxes of what looks like building materials.
“Go ahead, check it out.” Cole gestures toward the large model building sitting on top of the table.
Unable to contain my smile, I cross the space with Cole at my side, stopping directly in front of what looks like a sleek building you might see in a city only on a much, much smaller scale.
“Did you do this?” I run my hand along the edge of the table, taking in the structure—the details and creativity that went into making the unique elements, like the archway entrance and the twisted metal seam that runs through the middle of each window.
“I did. This is the model I just presented last week,” he says.
“Cole, this in incredible. I mean, you’ve even got ponds in here.” I point to where the entrance is flanked with two ponds on each side.
“They need to be able to envision each and every aspect,” he explains.
“But I mean, not only did you design the building, but you built this entire model?” I finally look up and instantly meet his eyes.
He nods, a small smile playing on his lips.
“I knew you were talented but wow. I had no idea,” I admit.
“I’m glad you like it.” He pulls me against his chest, kissing me softly.
I melt into the kiss, showing him what I’m unable to put into words. How thankful I am that he brought me here. How overjoyed I am to be learning about his life—present day. How proud I am of him.
It’s all so overwhelming yet incredible at the same time.
I’m so lost in his touch, in the way his lips move against mine that I don’t realize we’re not alone until I hear a voice speak.
“Mr. Lincoln.” We instantly break apart, and I turn to see a petite woman standing in the doorway.
She’s wearing a black knee-length skirt and cream colored top with a pair of black flats, her dark blonde hair pulled back into a tight up do. I’d guess her close to fifty.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt.” She looks at the floor causing Cole to chuckle lightly.
“It’s okay, Charlotte. I was just showing Melanie the new model.” He seems completely natural like she didn’t just walk in on us devouring each other.
How We Fall Page 16