He takes my hand and rubs his thumb on my palm gently. “I know. I know we can’t have a kid.”
Even when he says it, I feel a sting in my chest. Is it something that’s always going to wear on me?
“But we don’t need a kid to be happy,” he continues. “We have nieces and nephews. The fated mates are supposed to be together for a reason, aren’t they?” he asks, rubbing the spot on his neck where I bit him during our first mating.
“Yeah…” I say, trailing off. My heart swells with love for Carson, and I realize that he’s right. I can’t doubt the myth. I can’t doubt him.
“We’re going to be okay. And hey, maybe you can be an uncle to Hunter, too. Looks like he’s going to need all the help he can get,” finishes Carson.
“Yeah,” I say. “I just… you know how I always wanted my own baby.”
“I know,” says Carson soothingly. “But we’re fated to be together for a reason.”
For a reason. He’s right. There’s some part of this cosmic plan I don’t understand yet. I have to learn from my pain, my insecurities. I have to grow.
There’s a moment of silence as we sit comfortably together, the tension draining out of me like dissipating smoke. That’s another reason I love Carson—he makes me feel grounded.
“That is one of the things I love about you,” I say. “I love that you love helping people.”
Carson smiles. “Thanks,” he says.
“You’re gonna continue helping Harley and the baby?”
“Yeah, I want to keep an eye on them, especially since they’ve been roped into Blacktails stuff,” he says.
I nod. “That makes sense. I’d love to meet them sometime. We should have some of the other guys from the pack meet them too, so they know we’ve all got their backs.”
Carson’s smile grows wider. “Yeah, we should. I was thinking of heading over later, bring some stuff from the headquarters storage. He’s well-stocked, but I’m sure he could use help.”
“Good plan,” I say. “I’ll come with you.”
“Sweet, I’ll text him,” says Carson, pulling out his phone.
I can’t help but wonder what exactly Harley will be like.
When we arrive at Harley’s front door, I can tell the man is tired but pleasantly surprised to see us. His eyes widen when he sees me, and he puts a finger to his lips, indicating the baby is sleeping.
“We just wanted to bring a few more things from headquarters,” starts Carson.
Carson is so earnest, it’s adorable. I love watching him like this, being so caring towards a newborn baby and new dad omega. And it’s not an experience I would get if Harley weren’t here.
Hm. As much as my jealousy is making my hackles rise, just a little bit, I can’t help but wonder if an omega is the missing link in our relationship.
Watching Carson beaming at the baby, asleep like a perfect porcelain doll in his crib, is truly magical. Yet again, I feel a pang in my heart. I’m not the one who can give him a baby.
“This is my partner, Lars,” says Carson proudly, ushering me over.
“Hey,” I said, shaking Harley’s hand. I don’t know what to say. I’m not a people person like Carson is, and I feel awkward just being here.
But Harley doesn’t seem to care. Seems like he and Carson already have something of a rapport built up. They chat a little bit about the baby, but it’s evident Harley is tired.
Carson helps him move some stuff around and I can’t help but watch him interact with the omega with a mixed feeling of wonder and jealousy. I quash the jealousy and let it give way to something different.
I kind of like this feeling, whatever it is. And the baby is downright adorable.
I wonder if our relationship does have room for one more. One who comes with a baby, that too.
When Carson and I drive home, I ask him how he feels.
“You like Harley, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I mean, not like like…”
It’s so funny to see my mate behaving like a schoolchild. “No, I mean like… do you want to date him?”
“I guess I’d like that.”
“Well, maybe you should try it,” I say.
There’s a silence as Carson thinks. “You’d really be okay with it?”
“I think so. I mean… Let’s take this one step at a time, anyway,” I say, wondering why I brought it up at all. “The man just had a baby, after all.”
“Sure,” says Carson, but he reaches for my hand and squeezes it, and my heart feels alright again.
8
Harley
Being a parent is everything I ever dreamed of. Well, not really. But it’s pretty damn good.
I love Hunter so much. More than I ever thought possible. I knew that I loved him even when he was a little blob in my belly, but now… seeing him, touching him, interacting with him. It’s a completely different experience.
It’s hard, too, but I feel like I can handle everything after what I went through. Sure, I feel like crap and I’m not getting enough sleep. But I have a support network and social services to help. There are several free daycares around the city that are operated by Stell itself and are known to be very high quality. I don’t know what I would do without them. Most of the time, though, Marie says it’s fine for me to bring Hunter to the shop.
Hunter is swaddled, and now that he’s been fed, he’s becoming drowsy. I can’t help but press my nose to his forehead and take a deep breath. I love his baby smell. It’s one of the most adorable smells ever, if smells can be adorable.
I shake my head—I need to get to work. I pick up my lunch bag, swing Hunter’s bag over my shoulder, and tie Hunter to my chest. I’m looking forward to another relaxing day cataloguing antiques in various states of disrepair while Marie and I chat about baby stuff and the history of Stell, and Morty makes me laugh with weird old knick-knacks he finds in the backroom.
Life seems good, I think as my door locks shut behind me and I make my way down the stairs to the PubTran stop. I could take the bus, but ever since I started carrying Hunter everywhere, I’ve had to take the train so I have a better chance of getting a seat.
There’s just one small thing that bothers me, and I can’t seem to shake it. I don’t like that Carson is so… I don’t know, cagey when I bring up the store. He doesn’t seem to trust Morty and Marie, which I don’t at all understand.
I don’t want to think it’s because he’s a douchey rich guy. I can’t. If he were one, he wouldn’t have treated me so well when I first arrived here. And he never seemed contemptuous—it was more like he was just worried.
I don’t really get it at all, and I try not to think about it. Especially not because I’m getting closer to all these people. Morty and Marie are quickly becoming family, and Carson… it seems like there’s something there, though I’m not sure what.
The train ride is quick, and I gaze out into the sparkling buildings of Stell. They say that the skyscrapers are a sign of economic progress and development, which is all well and good, but I’m not sure I like them. They’re dazzling and impressive, but they seem to lack something. I’m not sure what.
As I step off the train and make my way into the neighborhood of the Paisley, I think I realize what it is. These buildings lack character. They could have been built anywhere. There’s not much that says “this is Stell.” But the Paisley on the other hand? You can tell history happened here. History that is deeply connected to the land itself and the people who have made their lives here for generations.
It’s just too bad that the economic growth doesn’t reach all the way.
Marie’s already opened the shop, and she’s sitting at the counter now. She beams when she sees Hunter, who is still fast asleep somehow. When I unwrap him from the carrier and hand him to Marie, he starts to stir, gurgling sleepily.
“Hey precious,” coos Marie, and my heart warms inside. I didn’t think Hunter would find family here in Stell, but we’ve been blessed. I thought I�
��d be fending for myself, but I have more support than I could have imagined. More than I would’ve gotten in Spruce Springs, anyway.
After I switch out some of the items in the front display case, I take a seat behind the counter with Marie, and we start to talking about the baby, again. I’m glad Marie is so patient and willing to listen, because I love talking about my son.
But there’s a lot more to talk about too. I told Marie about my ex, my family, how no one helped. She’s probably the one person in the city who knows the most about me. And she’s been trustworthy, guarding my vulnerability with a sort of fierce determination.
It feels good. I just wish there wasn’t that wrinkle of Carson being suspicious of them.
I’m surprised when the door creaks open and I see Lars walk in.
“Hey,” I said, cheerfully waving to him. When Marie sees my recognition, she seems surprised. “His partner helped me out a lot when I came to Stell. Small world, huh?”
Marie smiles. “It really is! His partner’s that alpha who helped you?”
Alpha? I’m not sure what she means. Probably related to omega.
Lars has walked up to the counter.
“Can we help you?” asks Marie.
I sense tension between them. I don’t know why there would be any. Maybe I’m just projecting my anxiety onto them.
“Harley!” he says. “I just wanted to check on you. Say hi at work, you know. I was in the area.” He seems like he feels a bit awkward, and his handsome face quirks a wry grin.
I can’t ever imagine describing Lars as awkward, but he is behaving strangely. I don’t know why he’d just want to check on me.
Before I can say anything, Marie jumps in. “Lars was here earlier this week. You don’t look like you live here in the Paisley, do you?”
I’m surprised by the bluntness of her question, but Lars seems unamused. “No, I don’t. I’m with uh—” he glances at me, “guy who helped Harley. Isn’t unusual that we’d want to keep an eye on our friend, is it?”
Marie raises her hands. “No, no. Not at all. Far be it from me to keep you apart.”
I don’t really know what’s going on. It’s like they both know something I don’t. I don’t like it, but the situation seems so sticky that there’s no way I can get up to speed.
“So, how’s Hunter doing?” asks Lars. “Your little boy keeping you up at night?”
“He sure is,” I say, glad to be out of that weird mire of conversation. Hunter is a safe topic. “I’m glad I can bring him to the shop, though. The daycares are nice but I need to be with him.”
Lars nods. “Like an omega should.”
Omega. The word rings a bell in my head.
“Wait a minute,” I say. “What is an omega? I keep hearing it but I don’t know what it means.”
“It’s a word that means a man who can get pregnant,” says Lars.
“Oh. What language?”
“Greek, I think?” says Lars. “But it’s used a lot around Stell.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t heard it much,” says Marie.
I shrug. “Well, that’s one mystery solved. In any case, yeah. I should be with my baby and here I get to be.”
“Well… it looks like I should leave you alone and get back to my work,” says Lars. “Talk to you later.” He nods at me and Marie and turns to leave.
Morty comes out of the backroom just as the front door closes. “That guy,” he says.
“That guy?” I ask.
“Yeah, he does not like us Paisley people,” says Morty, shaking his head as he takes a seat with us. “He’s part of this like, mercenary law enforcement organization that thinks we’re all sketchy because we’re poor.”
“He’s a cop?” I ask. “I feel like I would have figured that out by now.”
“Not a cop,” says Morty. “Hence the word mercenary. They’ll do whatever they want to for whoever pays them enough.”
This is weird, and I feel slightly unsettled. Maybe the suspicion goes two ways. “What exactly have they done,” I ask, wondering if Morty or anyone he knows has been personally affected. If this organization exists at all.
“Mortimer’s exaggerating, slightly,” says Marie. I turn toward her. I trust Marie.
“He told me he’s like a detective,” I add.
“That’s not too far off,” says Marie. “They do work like that, solving cases and crimes, but since they’re not part of the city’s municipal police force, they aren’t bound by the same rules.”
I’m processing what she said when Morty cuts in. “They don’t have to protect us or help us, and they don’t. They probably think half the things in here are stolen.”
“Probably,” agrees Marie. But she doesn’t say anything else.
I’m a little confused. This doesn’t fit with what I know about Lars. As far as I know, he helps families here in the Paisley and protects them from people who’d take advantage of them.
I wonder if I should push back a little. Since I feel like I know Marie well enough, I do.
“I feel like I understood differently,” I say, stumbling over my words slightly. “They seem like they do good.”
Marie turns to look at me, and she watches me for a moment almost appraisingly. “There are many people in this world who look like they’re doing good but…” She shakes her head. “Just be careful, Harley. That’s all we’re saying.”
Well, that I can agree to, at least, even though I wish I knew more about why Marie and Morty mistrust Lars. “Sure,” I say.
The rest of the day is uneventful, with the shop having as little foot traffic as ever. No one ever comes in, so I honestly don’t know how either of them expect to stay in business, but somehow they do.
It doesn’t really make a lot of sense, but then, a lot of things about Stell don’t make a lot of sense to me.
The shop closes early, like those little boutiques in small towns. Now that I’m getting used to Stell, it strikes me as odd. So many places in the city operate at all hours of the day, and if not, they’re open late.
I wave goodbye to Marie as she locks up and walk to the PubTran station, my baby and his bundle of things slung on my back. It’s hard work carrying a baby, especially when my body is still recovering. But I’ve gotten a lot stronger since the birth.
We get settled on one of the impossibly comfortable chairs and I sigh. Hunter has fallen asleep, yet again, though the movement and sounds of the train appear to disturb him slightly.
The train is quiet, save for the chatter of a few other passengers. My phone’s ding seems loud in the silence.
I hastily fumble with it to put it on silent and as I do, I see the text message. It’s from Carson.
And he wants to go… on a date with me?
Suddenly the train doesn’t feel real, Hunter doesn’t feel real. The feeling passes and warmth washes over me. I can’t believe this is happening. And aren’t Carson and Lars together?
I’m so confused, but a stronger feeling is taking over—happiness.
9
Carson
Yeah, I did it. I finally asked Lars how he felt about me asking Harley on a date. Surprisingly, he agreed. He an intuitive kind of guy and I think he can see some bigger picture I can’t. I usually trust his decisions and if he thought this was a good idea…
My heart was in my throat as I sent that text to Harley. I didn’t want to make things weird. But he must have expected it. He replied immediately and said he’d love to.
Now I’m waiting outside his door in my car. I see him walk out the door and down the steps, and I press the button to slide the door open. He hops in, and I don’t see a wince of pain on his face as he shifts. It seems like he’s recovered from the pregnancy decently well, though I’m sure there’s still trouble.
I chuckle to myself. I really must have been born an omega midwife in another life or something. But all alphas are like me—on the inside, at least. We go crazy for babies and omegas but we try not to show it.
> “Hey,” I say. “How are you?”
“Good,” says Hunter, buckling himself up as the car pulls away. “Hunter is so energetic and cute. And sleepy. He spit up on me this morning and I wasn’t even mad. But now I’m wondering if I should be thinking about preschools, or what—”
“Harley?” I take his chin in my hand. “How are you?”
He smiles bashfully and my heart glows a little. “I’m alright,” he says, and we break contact. “I feel like I’m doing well. I mean, my body is still recovering but we’ve settled into a rhythm. Well, a rhythm where I still wake up some nights, but it’s fine.”
“Good,” I say. My wolf is satisfied to hear that he is doing well.
But it’s agitated, too. I promised Lars I’d do something. I promised I’d tell Harley today, on our first real date, that I’m a shifter. And what Lars and I really do. We have to gauge Harley’s reaction before we get in too deep.
I was worried because I didn’t want to get him in any kind of trouble with his employer. But it would have to come out at some time, anyway.
I take us to a nice rooftop restaurant that’s a favorite of the pack’s. We come here for drinks sometimes, when we want to celebrate some achievement.
Harley looks so adorable and huggable and fuckable in his trim chambray dress shirt—something he must have picked up since I last saw him—and black jeans. You’d never guess he came from out near Spruce Springs, coming to Stell with nothing.
Now he looks fashionable. It’s quite the transformation. He’s an incredibly strong person.
I order us a selection of small plates and we kick back. It’s nice to actually relax for once.
“So,” Harley starts. “Tell me… how did you and Lars meet?”
“Whoa, getting to the meat already, are we?” I say, chuckling. But I don’t mind. This means Harley feels comfortable with me, and that means more than anything.
Harley just smiles at me.
“Well,” I say. “It was probably, what, ten years ago? I had just joined the pack, and I was eager to do justice. Lars was also a new recruit, and we were paired up for our very first mission. We were helping out with an elderly couple somewhere south of the Paisley.”
Runaway Omega_Harley Page 6