Samantha caught her reflection in a bucket of water and frowned. Would they even recognize her? Not only from the changes in her body, but when she had washed up on Eternity she had been about ten years old. By all rights she should be fifteen or perhaps sixteen by now. How would she explain being only twelve? Maybe she wouldn’t have to; maybe they would be so happy to see her it wouldn’t matter.
“Would not!” she heard Wendell shout.
“Would too,” David growled. “I have a better chance than you, Wendy.”
“Don’t call me that!”
“What are you going to do about it? You going to tell her like a little baby?”
“I’m not scared of you.”
When Samantha heard them grunting and growling like a pair of dogs fighting over a bone, she hurried out of the barn. As expected, she found David and Wendell wrestling on the ground. “What is going on here?” she shouted. “David, I told you earlier to stop this.”
“He started it.” David stood up, kicking dust at Wendell.
“I don’t care. There’s no fighting. Understood?”
“Yeah, right.”
She watched David stomp away and then helped Wendell up. He came up only to her armpits despite they were about the same age. Between that and his skinniness, he found himself the target of even the younger boys. She brushed some of the dust off his clothes and then looked him in the eye. “Wendell, you know better than to fight, don’t you?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he muttered. “I won’t do it again.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on, Wendell, you can tell me. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“We are?”
“Of course. Now—” Wendell interrupted her by getting on his toes to kiss her on the lips. She cuffed him on the side of the head hard enough to stagger him. “I’m sorry. Are you all right?”
He began to cry, but when she tried to touch him, he stepped away. “I thought you said we were friends?”
“We are.”
“Then why can’t I kiss you? That’s what boyfriends and girlfriends do.”
“Who told you that?”
“David. He says when girls get boobies then you’re supposed to kiss and hug them.”
Samantha noticed Wendell’s eyes focusing on her chest as he said this. She put an arm over the bumps on her chest. “Well, he’s wrong,” she said.
“You’re just saying that because you don’t really like me. You like him.”
“Wendell, no. I like you both, but not like that. These things don’t make anything different.”
“Why not?”
“Look, I’m not any different now than I was last year. Not on the inside.”
“But you’re so pretty now.”
This froze Samantha for a moment. “I am?”
He nodded to her. “You’re even prettier than Miss Brigham.”
“Oh, well, that’s very sweet of you.”
“Does that mean I can be your boyfriend?”
“What? No. I…I have to go,” Samantha said and then took off running.
***
In lieu of finishing her rounds, Samantha went the one place no one would look for her: the cave with the Fountain of Youth inside. She had been in the cave only a few times since Reverend Crane and Pryde had both drowned in the fountain. Those times she had always come with Prudence or Miss Brigham to fetch some water for emergencies.
Samantha avoided going to that place alone; the cave had too many bad memories for her. Whenever she went there, she could feel Reverend Crane and Mr. Pryde’s presences there, despite that she knew they were dead. Today she sat alone by the fountain, staring down at her reflections.
In the water she saw not her current hideous form, but herself as a little girl, a toddler, and a baby. She couldn’t help noting how much happier all three faces looked. They were blissfully unaware of how deformed she would become. “It’s not fair,” she muttered. “I didn’t ask for this to happen.”
Looking her younger selves in the eye, she knew she could always end this pain. All she had to do was dip her foot into the fountain and she would shrink into that adorable little girl she had been. Perhaps she could make herself a toddler so she would have a long time before this happened again. And then she could be the youngest and have the others take care of her instead of her taking care of them.
She shook her head. No, she couldn’t do that. If she were little again, how would she ever find her parents? She had spent too much time here already. No, she had to get off this terrible island and find her parents. They would help her through all of this with their love.
“Samantha? What are you doing here?” Miss Brigham asked behind her.
“I was just thinking.”
“Oh, I see.” Miss Brigham sat down next to Samantha, her reflections joining Samantha’s in the water. Miss Brigham pointed to the face of herself at thirteen, a face scarred with angry red spots. “Oh my, can you believe I used to look like that? I’m so glad my skin finally cleared up. At least most of it. There’s still a pimple or two on my forehead I can’t ever seem to get rid of. At least I can cover those up.”
“Uh-huh.”
Miss Brigham put an arm around her shoulders. “Rebecca told me what happened in the meadow. You shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. You’re growing up, that’s all.”
“Maybe I don’t want to grow up.”
“Now I know that’s not true. In time you’re going to become a beautiful young woman. If you’re lucky you won’t have all these nasty pimples like I did.” Miss Brigham touched Samantha’s cheek. “You have such lovely skin. Those pores aren’t going to get full of grease like mine.”
“But why is this happening to me? Why not Prudence or one of the others?”
“You’re the oldest, dear. They’ll all go through it too, even that nasty little Helena. You’ll see. That is unless you’re leaving us.”
“Is that why you came to find me? So you can talk me out of going?”
“I only want to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons, dear. You aren’t leaving because the other children made fun of you, are you?”
“No. I want to find my parents. I know they’re out there, waiting for me. I want to go before it’s too late.”
“Too late for what?”
Samantha shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it’s like you say, I’m growing up. I want to find them before I’m too grown up. Does that make sense?”
“I suppose it does. I wish I could go with you, but someone needs to look after the children.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t apologize, dear. Reverend Crane brought me here to take care of the children. I never should have relied so much on you and Prudence. You were just children yourselves. I suppose I was weak.” She patted Samantha’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you find your parents sooner. But will you promise me one thing?”
“What is it?”
“Don’t leave tonight. I would hate to think of you out there on that sea at night.”
Samantha nodded. “All right. I’ll leave in the morning.”
“Thank you, dear. Now, let’s go. It’s almost time for dinner.”
Chapter 4: Betrayal
Dinner was the same stew as the day before and the day before that and the day before that. Phyllis’s repertoire didn’t have much variety. It wasn’t entirely her fault as she had to work with the limited ingredients provided by what they could grow or forage on Eternity. The stew was an improvement over winter’s fare of salted meat and even saltier vegetables.
Samantha at last found herself with an opportunity to talk to Prudence, who sat in her usual place in the corner. Prudence stared intently at her bowl, as if she were divining some prophecy from its contents. As she usually did, Samantha took her bowl over to sit down across from her friend. “Hi.”
“Hello,” Prudence mumbled into her bowl. She spooned some of the stew into her mouth to a
void saying anything else.
“I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“Did so.”
“Prudence, please, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Prudence put down her spoon and then looked Samantha in the eye. “Yes you did. You don’t want me around anymore. You’re too important now to have the little fat girl around.”
“That’s not true. You’re my best friend, Prudence. That’s why I wanted to tell you before anyone else.”
“Tell me what?”
“I’m leaving. Tomorrow I’m going down to the beach and take Mr. Pryde’s boat to the mainland so I can find my family.”
“Congratulations,” Prudence said and then took another spoonful of stew.
“That’s all you’re going to say?”
“What else am I supposed to say?”
“That you’re happy for me and you hope I find them.”
“Yes, of course.”
Samantha studied her friend for a moment. “You don’t really think that, do you?”
“I do, it’s just…what happens to me after you’re gone?”
“You can make other friends. Rebecca likes you.”
“Sure.”
Samantha looked around the dining room, watching the other children eating in small groups. She and Prudence had always sat together, most of the time by themselves. Sometimes Rebecca or one of the other girls would sit next to them. The boys always kept to their side of the room, though tonight she noticed them sneaking glances at her.
Samantha reached across the table to take Prudence’s hands. “You don’t have to stay here. Come with me to the mainland.”
“But where will I go when I get there?”
“You can stay with me. I’m sure my parents will take you in too.”
“I don’t know. Eternity is my home. It’s all I can remember.”
“Please? It’ll be so much better if we’re together.”
“Who will make clothes for the children then?”
“I’m sure one of them can do it.”
“I don’t know—”
“Don’t you want to see what it’s like over there? You remember the books I read to you? You remember all the great things over there? All the beautiful clothes people wear? You could design things you couldn’t even imagine here. No more plain gray dresses.”
“I don’t mind making gray dresses.”
“I should have known you wouldn’t want to go. You’re just a big fat scared pig who doesn’t want to leave her sty.”
“I’m not a pig!” This brought chuckles and a few exaggerated snorts from some of the other children. Prudence ignored these, glaring at Samantha instead. “Even if I am, at least I’m not a freak like you.”
“Oh, I’m a freak, am I?”
“That’s right. You and your boobies.”
“Fine, you just stay right here, getting fatter until you can’t fit through the door anymore.” Samantha shot to her feet. She stomped over to the counter where Phyllis had left the pots of stew. Samantha took one that was still three-quarters full. She carried it back to Prudence’s table, dropping it with a thud next to her former best friend. “Here, I’ll save seven or eight trips. Wouldn’t want you to get any exercise.”
Prudence stared at the pot for a moment, her lower lip trembling. Then she took off running faster than Samantha would have thought possible. She watched Prudence go until she felt the other children staring at her. “What?” she roared at them. They turned away.
Then Samantha stomped out of the dining room.
***
She locked herself in her room by leaning a chair against the knob. She tore open the drawers of her dresser, emptying them out onto the bed. Like most of the children she didn’t have a lot of spare clothes, only three of Prudence’s ugly gray dresses, two pairs of socks, and only one extra pair of underpants. She shoved these into an empty pillowcase to take with her on her trip. In the morning she would have to get some food from the kitchen, some apples and biscuits that wouldn’t need reheating while she sailed across the sea. She would also need some fresh water to drink on her voyage.
Someone tapped on the door. Samantha figured it was that whiny brat Prudence or perhaps Miss Brigham. Then she heard Rebecca say, “Samantha? Can I come in?”
“What do you want?”
“I just want to talk.”
“I don’t feel like talking.”
“Please? It will only be a minute.”
Samantha sighed. She took the chair away from the knob to allow Rebecca inside. When she opened the door, Samantha looked around to make sure no one else was around. “Come on,” she said to Rebecca.
Rebecca waddled inside and then climbed onto the bed. Though she was only nine years old, she was well on her way to being as fat as Prudence, her gut resting on her thighs when she sat down. Unlike Prudence, though, Rebecca’s voice didn’t have that shy, timid sound to it. Her voice sounded even more mature than Miss Brigham’s, as if she were already a grown-up.
Rebecca patted the spot next to her on the pallet. “Why don’t you sit down and tell me what happened?”
“Fine.” Samantha sat down next to her on the pallet and then began swinging her legs around and around. “There’s not much to say. Prudence is a big fat coward.”
“Why would you say that? Prudence helped you get rid of Reverend Crane and Mr. Pryde, didn’t she?”
“Helped? She didn’t do anything until I got them both into the water.”
“Then she saved your life.”
“I guess. Maybe I could have climbed out on my own.”
“As what, a baby?”
“What’s your point?”
“You and Prudence are best friends. I know neither of you meant the awful things you said. In time you’re going to realize that.”
“There won’t be time. I’m leaving.”
“You are?”
Samantha motioned to the pillowcase on the bed. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I’m going to the mainland to find my parents.”
“Oh, I see. Did you tell Prudence that?”
“Yes. I asked her to go with me but she was too chicken.”
“It is a big step.”
“You’re too scared to go too?”
“I don’t know. Eternity is my home.”
“Well it’s not mine. I have a home out there. I wasn’t even supposed to be here. Mr. Pryde kidnapped me.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“What other reason is there?”
“I don’t know, but maybe you shouldn’t get your hopes up so much.”
Samantha glared into Rebecca’s piggish little eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I’m only saying your parents might not be there. Maybe they’re dead.”
“No they aren’t! If they were, I would remember.”
“Would you?”
“Yes. I couldn’t forget something like that.”
“Or maybe that’s why you can’t remember. Maybe it’s so painful you made yourself forget.”
“I don’t need analyzed by a little kid.”
“I’m sorry,” Rebecca said, her voice sounding younger, as if she were a toddler again. “I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Samantha put an arm around Rebecca to pull the little girl close. Rebecca had proven herself so responsible in these last five years, taking charge when Samantha and Prudence weren’t around. She had taken on a lot more than any toddler should have. “That’s very sweet, Rebecca, but I can take care of myself.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me? I’m sure my parents would love to have a smart little girl like you around.”
“I don’t think so. Who would look after the kids then? And Miss Brigham?”
Samantha laughed at that. She gave Rebecca a hug. “Go and get everyone ready for bed. I promise in the morning I’ll apologize to Prudence.”
“Will you tell us a story?”
“Of course.” Samantha tousled Rebecca’s short brown hair. Then the little girl hopped off the bed. She closed the door behind her on her way out. Samantha sighed and then resumed packing.
Chapter 5: Runaway
Every night Samantha told the other girls a story. Other than the Bible the only book left on the island was a tattered copy of a novel called Forever Young, its heroine having the name Samantha Young. For a while Samantha had read this book over and over, until the girls could all recite it from memory.
After about two years, Samantha began working in different stories. These sprang from the depths of the memory she couldn’t consciously access. Most of the stories dealt with little girls getting into trouble. In one a little girl in a cloak with a red hood ran afoul of a wolf impersonating her grandmother. In another a little girl came upon a cabin belonging to three bears. Samantha always ended these stories happily so the youngest girls wouldn’t suffer from nightmares. Still there had been several nights when Rebecca or Annie or sometimes even Helena would crawl into her pallet for comfort.
As was always the case, the girls had gathered around Samantha’s old pallet, which was across from Prudence’s. Prudence usually sat on her bed, listening intently even though she was too old for fairy tales. Tonight her pallet was empty.
Samantha pulled the chair from her room over to sit on. The girls had already dressed in their nightgowns and brushed their hair for bed. A few of the younger ones clutched dolls made from bits of old cloth stuffed with straw. Samantha had kept such a doll until she was eight, when she decided it set a bad example for the other children.
“Is everyone all cleaned up and ready for bed?” she asked as she usually did.
“Yes,” they said in unison.
“All right. In that case, once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who lived in a castle far away—”
“What was her name?” Annie asked.
“She should be named Helena. That’s what pretty girls are named.”
“Nuh-uh, she should be named Phyllis.”
Helena made a face at her friend. “Only ugly cooks are named Phyllis.”
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