***
Sitting alone in the cabin, the red torn dress wrapped around her body, her wet hair dripping on her bare thighs, Amanda was staring on the wall, with a frozen smile on her otherwise expressionless face. She looked like a statue. The only thing that she did was breathing. She was in her cabin for an hour, sitting like that. Memories were flooding her mind, leaving her in a paralyzed state. The way he looked. The way he looked at her. His deep menacingly sexy eyes, piercing her from head to toe. The way he came closer and touched her. The way he kissed her. The taste of his warm, sweet lips. The way he tore her dress. Amanda shivered at that memory. She could still feel his lips embracing her nipple tightly. Unwillingly she touched her breasts, tentatively squeezing them a little. And when he entered her… a mixture of pain and pleasure, giving her both thrill and anxiety. The memories were so vivid, so powerful, that Amanda was still dizzy. She remembered how Roger had wrapped her in her torn red dress, had lifted her in his embrace and had carried her through the woods towards her cabin.
“Roger,” she had said, glancing over his shoulder, “there’s a bear in the woods.” Roger had looked at her silently, before answering: “Don’t be afraid, be sure he won’t hurt you.”
Amanda smiled at the thought. Now she was rocking forward and backward, comfortable in her feelings and memories, wanting the memories to rotate in her head forever, as she wasn’t able to quench her thirst.
***
Having shifted into his bear form, Roger was on the top of the hill, sitting on the ground. Amanda… such a beautiful girl, so innocent, so sweet. He couldn’t do anything else, except think deeply about each detail. She was feeling love for the first time. He clearly remembered her every moan, her every heartbeat, her confused face, her passion-driven eyes. There was one thing though, that made him unhappy: she was afraid of bears. She had told him that there was a bear and she was afraid. Even though he had told her that there was nothing to be afraid of, he knew she felt vulnerable in the forest because of the bear. But how could he explain to her that the bear was him, and he would never hurt her. “She mustn’t know about my bear form, otherwise…” he didn’t know what would happen otherwise. Maybe it would scare her to death. Or maybe she would stop the construction and run away from there. He wasn’t sure. He thought that she had feelings for him. She seemed to be in love with him. That thought comforted his aching heart a little. “I love you, Amanda,” he whispered, the words making real sense. More real than anything else in the world, and it was what mattered most to him.
Running through the woods calmed him. He needed to release the accumulated energy, which was nearly killing him. He missed her. It was only an hour that she went to her cabin, saying that she needed to return, as one of her friends would be there to take her back to the city soon, so he had taken her back to her cabin. It was only an hour, but he was missing her like a crazy. What if she had regretted what had happened between them? Running through the forest was the second thing Roger needed; the first thing being Amanda.
***
Suddenly Amanda realized that soon Andy would come to take her to the city, as they had arranged in the morning. She jumped up, rushed to get something to put on. Finding shorts and a top in her backpack, she quickly got dressed, got her wet hair up in a ponytail and started to get her backpack ready. She didn’t have many things, so the packing lasted a minute. Amanda ate the last sandwich and the apples. She was very sad that she was going to leave the forest: if only for a few days. Sighing, Amanda got out of the cabin, locking the door, and looked around. She hoped to see Roger again, but instead, she heard Andy’s car somewhere near before it appeared in front of the cabin. Andy got out of it, smiling.
“Hi, Amanda,” he said, “I see you’re packed and ready. Get in.”
Amanda tried to smile, avoiding Andy’s eyes. She had a strange feeling that her eyes would give her secret away to Andy. She hurriedly got into the car, shaking the weird ideas away. When the car pulled off, Amanda turned to look at the woods behind, hoping to see Roger. Instead, she heard a bear howl somewhere away, deep in the forest.
“Amanda,” Andy said, “Are you happy with the construction?”
“Yes, of course!” Amanda said, faking a smile. “I saw it today, and it looked rather good. It’s going ahead rather fast,” she lied. She hadn’t gone near the construction that day, being busy with Roger.
“I see,” Andy said. “I’m glad that you like the place, Mandy. That’s what matters.”
Amanda smiled, looking at Andy. She was glad that her friends had stopped convincing her to change the location of the hotel. Now it meant a lot more to her. Now there was someone there who had entered her heart without permission and was trying to settle down and reside inside of her heart. Roger. Her strong, powerful, rough, gentle, sweet Roger. Amanda realized how much she was missing him. The farther they drove, the stronger her heartache became. She was longing for Roger, needing him, missing him.
Andy turned on music in the car, and the rest of the way they drove without talking, listening to music. Nearly all the songs were about love, passion, missing somebody, and Amanda could relate to all the songs. She took in all the lyrics, rotating them in her head, sometimes nodding secretly, and sometimes holding back a single drop or two of tears.
***
When Amanda and Andy reached Maggie’s house, all of their friends were already there.
“Hi, Mandy!” Maggie hugged her. “You’re just in time for dinner! Come in, sit. Andy, you too.”
“How are you, Amanda?” Luisa asked, smiling.
“I’m very well,” Amanda said. She knew she was happy to be with her friends again, but deep inside her heart she wanted to be alone, if only for a few hours, to remember Roger, to miss him properly, to allow herself a few tears, to understand why that feeling of love was so strong, to enjoy the memories of her first time, and many more firsts.
“Today we’re having some spaghetti with tomato sauce,” Maggie said, coming and hugging Amanda from behind. “That’s your favorite, right dear?”
“Yeah,” Amanda said, smiling. She decided to keep the memories of Roger for later, and enjoy tasty dinner with her best friends.
“Maggie, let me help you,” Stacey said, entering the kitchen to bring the salad and the drinks.
The dinner was delicious. Amanda tried to be talkative and to converse with her friends, like before. She didn’t want them to sense that something had happened to her.
“Amanda,” Stacey said, putting her fork down for a minute.
“Yes?” Amanda said, taking a napkin.
“There is something we want to tell you,” Stacey said, looking around at their friends. All of them had become silent.
“Yes?” Amanda said again, suspecting that something was wrong. She noticed the tense expressions of her friends and put her fork down, too.
“Well, you see,” Stacey continued, “it’s probably wrong but we have had a long conversation and it seems like all of us have the same opinion. The thing is, we didn’t feel secure while we’re up there in the forests in the cabin with you.”
“What do you mean?” Amanda asked.
“The thing is, Mandy,” Maggie said, “we feel bad for turning you down, but we don’t want to stay in the forest anymore. Will you get hurt if we stay in the city all the time?”
“You know, the bear being in the forest…” Luisa added.
“And our vacation is ending, too,” Andy said.
Amanda felt the pressure releasing from her chest. She was relieved. If that was what they were asking for, she had no problem at all.
“Guys,” she said smiling, “of course I won’t get hurt! I have no problem at all staying there alone, if I need to. I will stay in the city most of the time, but if there is a need to go and see the construction, I don’t see there’s a problem if I go alone! The construction will be finished in two weeks, by the way. You have helped me so much; I am more than grateful to you for being such good friends to me!�
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“Oh, Mandy, I’m really happy that everything turned out this way,” Maggie said. “I was worried that you would get hurt that we’re leaving you alone.”
“You’re not leaving me alone,” Amanda said, smiling. Only she knew who they were leaving her with. And she was happy about it.
“Mandy, I can give you a ride whenever you need it,” Andy said.
“I can, too,” Stacey added. “Just give me a call, and I’ll be right there.”
“I’m so happy to have you,” Amanda said, beaming in happiness.
Chapter 8: Love is in the Air
Lying down in her bed, Amanda turned off the light, happy to have the much desired solitary moment for fully enjoying her memories. Her mind raced to the beginning of the day, making Amanda squirm pleasantly upon remembering her encounter with Roger. “It is love,” she murmured to herself. “What else can it be?” she turned around in her bed. “I am in love. In love. With Roger. The man of my dreams. The one I want to be with.” Her own words surprised her a little. They also gave her some worries. She wanted to be with someone who she didn’t know at all. Literally at all. The only thing she knew about him was his name. The rest of the information was replaced by feelings and emotions. It seemed to her that she didn’t even need to know anything about him, as she was so happy with him. But in the back of her mind she knew she was wrong and her actions were wrongful, too. She would love to ignore that small voice scolding her for her actions and feelings, but it was impossible. The voice was telling her that it was foolish of her to fall in love with a stranger, to trust him completely, to give him her virginity, to have open sex with him in the forest. Who was he, anyway? Where did he live? Where did he work? What did he do all day? These questions started rotating in Amanda’s head. She needed to find out. She wanted to know the truth. “And I will find it out,” she said aloud. The mysterious stranger didn’t leave her mind, though. “You can’t rule your heart, your feelings or your emotions,” was the only excuse she could find to justify herself. “You feel what you feel, and there is nothing that you can do to feel otherwise.”
Amanda squeezed her eyes shut, getting hot of the vivid memories of Roger kissing her passionately. “Oh,” she moaned, as she got turned on, caressing her own body with her hands. She wanted to create the same feelings that she had while having sex with Roger. She wanted to imitate it and feel it again and again.
***
Watching Amanda leave the forest in a car was the most painful feeling for Roger. He knew that she was going to return to the city, as she had told him about it under the waterfall. But knowing that she was going to leave and actually seeing her leave were totally different things.
Roger was still in his bear form, running wildly in the forest, trying to calm down. “Roger, there’s a bear in the woods,” her voice was still ringing in his ears. He felt bad for being a bear shifter. “I want to be a human being,” he thought, “otherwise the distance will grow between me and her.” But he had no choice: he was a shifter and couldn’t do anything about it. He was starting to feel uncomfortable in his bear form, being conscious that she was afraid of bears. Quickly shifting into a human shape, Roger decided to walk for some time. The bear form was getting onto his nerves. He jumped into the stream to swim a little, to shake the negative feelings, the unquenchable thirst of missing Amanda.
After swimming in the stream for some time Roger sat down on a rock, to think with a clear mind. He wasn’t familiar with this new feeling: the pain of missing someone. And he didn’t know what to do about it. He wanted to be near her, to go to her. He knew that she was in the city. She lived there. She came up to the woods only occasionally, only to see how the construction was going.
“I need her,” he panted. “I must go to the city to find her.” This thought crossed his mind. He got up to go to the city, but then he changed his mind. “How will I find her in a city full of people?” he was in hesitation. Then he decided to walk towards Amanda’s cabin instead. He needed to feel her scent; to smell her again. He directed his steps towards the construction site, near which there were the cabins, situated in some distance.
Roger adored Amanda’s scent, which was still fresh around her cabin. Inhaling like a crazy man, Roger walked back and forth in front of Amanda’s cabin. He knew it was crazy, knew it was a bit childish: him, being such a pro with girls, him, having had many girls as girlfriends in the past, and now getting tortured by the thoughts of just one girl. “What’s the matter with me?” he whispered. “Why do I feel like this?” he didn’t know the answer. “Maybe I noticed that she’s in love with me, that’s why I fell in love so deeply,” he thought. It was an option. It was normal for some people, he thought. But even if that was the case, it was the first time for him.
***
It was becoming intolerable. The distance between her and Roger was painfully large. She was missing him so much; it was suffocating her. She was longing for Roger for three days already. Amanda was spending the nights in a miserable state. Memories of Roger weren’t joyful anymore. They were hurting her. She needed him badly. After having each memory, she would start to cry. She would wake up in the mornings, as if she hadn’t slept at all, and her mind would swiftly get in the state of missing Roger again.
Getting under her cold shower, Amanda closed her eyes and let the cold water caress her body. Just like the previous three mornings. She had wanted to go to the woods the previous days, but Maggie had caught a cold, so Amanda had to be there for her, if only to prepare tea for her best friend. She was still a good friend for Maggie, even though her thoughts were mostly obscured by memories with Roger, so Maggie kept asking what the matter was with her absent-mindedness.
Maggie was getting better by each day, so Amanda thought it would be great if she visited the construction site that day. Of course in the back corners of her mind she knew that she was hurrying to the woods not only for seeing the construction, but also for meeting someone – a very important and mysterious person, who seemed to be more important now than her hotel.
Toweling her hair, Amanda called Stacey. She wanted to ask if Stacey was available to give her a ride to the woods.
“Hi, Amanda,” Stacey said, picking up the phone.
“Hi, Stacey, how are you?”
“Great. Just heading to grab some breakfast,” Stacey answered. “And you?”
“I’m fine, too,” Amanda said. She hesitated: maybe Stacey was too busy to give her a ride.
“Amanda,” Stacey said, as if guessing the reason of her silence, “Do you by any chance want to go to the woods today? If yes, then I’m available until one o’clock, that is, for a couple of hours.”
Amanda smiled. She knew that Stacey would always have some time for her friends.
“Stacey, thank you so much! That’s exactly what I was going to ask you for.”
“Great! When you are ready, just call me. But no later than in an hour.” Stacey said.
“Sounds perfect,” Amanda said. “You can come now, too. I am ready.”
“Okay, cool. I’m coming,” Stacey said and hung up.
***
Amanda was ready in a minute. She was as ready as she could be. Getting to the woods as fast as she could would mean having the chance of seeing him sooner. Her heart pounding harder with every minute, she was waiting in anticipation until Stacey came. Amanda was happy, joyful, excited, exhilarated. Stacey was a bit surprised to see her in such a happy state, given the fact that Amanda was more absent-minded and sad the previous days.
Amanda got into the car and they drove off. Stacey was chatting about the seminar she was going to, which was about new residents becoming local, or something like that, but Amanda didn’t really understand what the seminar was about, she wasn’t really listening. Stacey went on and on about the seminar, switching the topic to boys.
“There’s a guy there, named Adam, and I think he likes me, Mandy,” she said. “Well, not that I like him, too, but it’s pleasant to acknowledge
that there’s some guy out there, whose breathing becomes faster when he sees you,” she added, chuckling. Amanda chuckled, too. She shared Stacey’s opinion.
“And what about you, Mandy?” Stacey asked. “Why didn’t you like the construction worker, who seemed to be attracted to you?”
Amanda had totally forgotten about that worker. She didn’t even want to remember about him. Now that her heart was fully occupied with Roger, there was no other man in the world she would care about.
“Mandy, he was hot, too,” Stacey went on, smiling meaningfully. “Sunburned body, passionate eyes, and…”
“Stacey, please stop,” Amanda said, rolling her eyes. “I am not attracted to that worker, really.”
“Oh, come on,” Stacey also rolled her eyes. “I liked him, though. And the way he was looking at you!”
“Stacey,” Amanda said again, holding her laughter.
“Okay, I’m not saying anything. But he was kind of hot,” she said, before bursting out with laughter.
Soon they reached Amanda’s cabin.
“Here we are,” Stacey said. “I’m really in a hurry, otherwise I would also come out to see the construction. But maybe next time.”
“Okay, fine,” Amanda said. “Then you’ll see it when you come to take me back to the city.”
“Yes, sure. Oh, by the way when are you planning to return?” Stacey asked.
“Well, I guess tomorrow,” Amanda said. “I’m going to stay here for one whole day.”
“That’s great. I am very busy tonight, anyways, seeing off some seminar guests,” Stacey said. “So it’s better that you don’t want to return tonight.”
Romance: The Campus Player: A College Romance Page 75