I stop in front of Katelyn’s office and look into the dark room. We didn’t discuss business the other night at dinner two weeks ago. Believe me, it was the last thing on my mind when she was sitting across from me. I was thinking more of how I could get my hands on her. I was imagining all the places that I wanted to kiss her. I wish I could say that I’ve seen her every night since, but I can’t. When I go over to mow her lawn, she’s not home. I’ve deduced that dinner was just a thank you, and not the fucking breakthrough I’ve been waiting for. It’s going to happen. That’s my mantra each morning in the shower. Say it one hundred times and it’s true, according to Quinn.
What does Quinn know?
More than me, I do know that.
Katelyn wants to quit. She’s coming in today to talk to us about her job. Liam, he’s upset with her, but is trying to keep the professional side separate from the personal side. I’m not sure how he’s going to do that, I can’t. I want her around all the time. She excites me, makes me feel like I’m about to skydive. I could live off the adrenaline I feel from her alone. But I don’t want to force this job on her if she’s not comfortable. I’m just having a hard time buying she could mess up this big. Maybe I should’ve spoken to her at dinner the other night when the kids ran off to play, instead of discussing a drop off schedule for school.
I sit on my stool and spin around one time. I pick up my sticks, running my finger along the wood to check for damage. They look okay for now, but I’ll need to have Katelyn order more if she’s going to stay on. If not, I’ll be doing some mundane bullshit by myself, which means it’ll never get done. God, I need Katelyn in more ways than one. I just need to find a way to tell her this before it’s too late.
I feel for the foot pedals with my feet. Closing my eyes, I press down. One thump. Then another, back and forth until my legs are warm. I flex my wrist before setting my sticks down on the drums. One hit, then two. Over and over again until I’m jamming out. I go over the rhythm for the song I wrote about Katelyn. Playing it over and over again. I don’t know when we’re going to record it, but I can’t wait to play it live.
“That’ll sound good.”
I stop playing when JD and Liam walk in.
“What was that?” JD asks.
“Dude, what the fuck is on your neck?”
JD smirks and covers his neck with his hand. “That was Tracy, or Tanya... I can’t remember. Something with a T, though, definitely.”
“That’s just wrong.” Liam laughs. I shake my head and throw one of my sticks at both of them. They duck. My mouth drops. Katelyn is standing at the door holding her head. I fucking hit her with my stick. I jump up from my stool, my leg crashing into my set when I stumble by.
“I’m sorry, Katie.”
“What’d you call me?”
I stop when I get in front of her. Liam is laughing harder. I look at her and see nothing but pure hatred in her eyes. Her shoulders are heaving and she’s breathing heavily and not from the work out I just gave her.
“What?”
“I don’t know, Harry, what did you say?”
“Oh ballbags,” JD sniggers under his breath with more laughter from Liam. I look back at him. He has tears in his eyes. I rub my hand over my ball cap, pushing it back and forth over my hair.
“My name’s Harrison, not Harry,” I say as quietly as possible. When I was in school the kids called me Harry and I hated it because they attached other not-so-nice names to it.
Katelyn puts her hands on her hips, but my eyes focus on the large red spot in the middle of her forehead. “My name is Katelyn. That’s K-A-T-E-L-Y-N and only one man is allowed to call me Katie and you’re not him... ever!” She pokes me in the chest, hard, and walks off. My hand rubs over the spot as I watch her hips sway back and forth.
I lean forward and bang my head on the door jam.
“What the fuck was that?” I ask as I step back into our recording room.
“That, my friend, was Katelyn Cohen Powell giving you the what for.”
“Yeah, but why?”
“Clearly she doesn’t want to be called Katie,” JD adds for good measure. I roll my eyes at him and push him in the shoulder when I pass by.
“You’re observant, JD.”
“That’s not it,” Liam says as he tunes his guitar.
I sit down and push my foot pedal to get his attention. He looks at me. I throw my other drumstick at him. “Fill me in, asshole.”
“Only one man is allowed to call her Katie.”
I roll my eyes and shake my head. I can’t freaking compete with a ghost. It’s getting to be too much. “Great, so I just made her cry because I brought up Mason? Score one for James.” I hit two rim shots and the cymbal – ba-dum-tsh. I guess the joke’s on me.
“Not even Mason was allowed to call her Katie, just his dad. I don’t know how it started, when we were little I think, but he’s always called her Katie and she refuses to let anyone else use that name.”
“Duly noted.”
“Have you met Mr. Powell yet?”
I look at Liam questioningly. Is he serious? “Um yeah, I don’t think we’re at that stage in our relationship. Ask me in five years when we’ve graduated to texting.”
JD starts laughing. Liam throws my stick back at me. I duck and cringe when it clanks against the wall.
“He’s your ticket, moron. She won’t date until he tells her it’s okay.”
“What the fuck, how do you know this?”
Liam shrugs. “I heard her talking to Josie before she left for work this morning.”
“Bastard,” I mumble as he winks at me.
“All right, let’s get this done. We need to figure shit out about Katelyn,” Liam says as he shuts the door.
“You know my vote. I think she just needs a little guidance. We threw her to the sharks.”
“Bet you can’t guess what I heard.” JD pipes up.
“No, I can’t JD... Well, shit head what did you hear?” Liam rolls his eyes. I can tell this is going to be a productive day in the studio.
“Sam’s been sniffing around. I saw her at the Roxy the other night. She was after a quick shag, but I don’t do leftovers.”
Liam’s face turns red at the mention of Sam. I know what he’s thinking. If she’s around and trying to get with JD that means she’s trying to cause trouble.
“What else?” Liam asks.
“DeVon was playing that night and they definitely know each other.”
“Fucking hell,” we both say at the same time.
“Page, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
Liam nods. “So help me, if she set this shit up I’m going to fucking kill her.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her. She was trying to convince me to join a new band, but I told her to piss off and take her skanky arse somewhere else.” JD has such a way with words. I swear he could be a poet.
“I don’t want to talk about Sam. I need to think,” Liam says as he flicks the light to let Tyler know we’re ready to record. Although I’m not sure what we are working on. “That song you wrote, let’s work on it and we’ll perform it tonight at Ralph’s.”
“Ralph’s?”
“Yeah you know, the pub where Liam likes to take the missus.”
“I know what Ralph’s is, JD.” Sometimes I think he’s still the same nineteen year old that asked us if he could jam with us one day. He walked right up to us after a gig and asked. He hasn’t left yet.
“We have a gig tonight,” Liam says this as if it’s an everyday occurrence for us to set up at Ralph’s. Whimsicality, yes, but not Ralph’s.
“Well great, thanks for letting me know.” I grab my headphones and put them on. JD and Liam do the same. I want to hide when Liam starts singing my lyrics, but the song is good, and he makes it sound even better. If we are performing at Ralph’s tonight, we better be on our game. The last thing we need is for a local gig to turn out shitty.
Five minutes.
That’s all
it took for me to get a hard-on from standing next to her and all I did was touch her fingers. Her fingers for Christ sakes! How does that even compute in my brain? It’s also a mistake following her up the stairs, but there is no way I was showing her what was going on in my shorts. She’d be mortified. I’d probably run out of the room like a sissy.
But watching her walk up the stairs is pure hell. The swoosh of her skirt, the fabric moving along her ass with each step she takes, makes my issue stronger. There’s no way I can have dinner with anyone right now. The worst part, the guys will know, especially Liam. He purposely left me to deal with her. I’m the one who had to break the news that we were having a band meeting in his kitchen and her presence is required. He left me to deal with the sad face she made because he knows I’ll do everything I can to make her smile. So what did I do? I touched her. And while that might not have made her smile, it did me because she didn’t pull away. She allowed me to hold her hand before she stood up and straightened that tight ass skirt of hers and walked out of her office.
Of course, the guys have set up in the kitchen and not the dining room where there’s a nice long table for us to gather around. No, we are in the nook, crammed around some small table, making my current problem even more evident.
Something needs to change, but I’m not sure what. Either my cold showers need to be longer, or I’m really going to have to make a play for her, because I’m not sure I can stand the pressure anymore. It’s like a fucking tease show. I’ll let you kiss me when I’m drunk. You can hold my hand when you’re sober. We can make-out during a scary ride, but everything else is a ‘no’ when we are in our everyday lives. I hate not being able to touch her. I really want to touch her.
Instant dread washes over me when I look at the empty seat. JD is in the corner trying not to laugh and Liam is shoveling food into his mouth so he doesn’t have to talk. I try to adjust myself discreetly and lower my plate so she can’t see the obvious. I hate my band-members.
I have to squeeze by her, brushing her shoulder as I pass. There’s a jolt of desire in my groin when I touch her. I bite my lip, trying to hold back a moan. Who the hell moans in this situation? I need some serious help.
“The guys and I have been doing a lot of thinking.” Liam starts. We have? I want to ask. I remember this morning we started talking, but he needed to think. I wasn’t aware a conclusion had been discussed. This ought to be interesting.
“Are you going to fire me? I think you should.” I look at Katelyn questioningly. She shrugs and takes a bite of her salad. When we went out to dinner she ate pizza like nobody’s business. I’ve never seen a woman eat like that before.
“No, I’m not firing you. JD gave me some information that I need to investigate, so we’re giving you another chance.” Liam looks at his watch and nods. “We need to be at Ralph’s in an hour for a gig. Linda’s going to watch the kids.”
“Is this up for debate?”
Liam folds his hands, all dad-like. I want to laugh, but I know he’s trying to be professional with her. “It’s Friday night, you need a night out. Case closed.” Liam leaves and is quickly followed by JD, leaving their half-eaten dinner sitting on the table. I can’t leave because I’m stuck behind her, just not the way I want to be.
“You’ll have fun.”
“I doubt it.”
“Come on,” I say, taking a chance by moving her hair off her shoulder. I lean in, desperate to nuzzle her neck. I could get lost in her scent for days if she’d allow me. “I like drunk Katelyn.”
With that, I get up and take long strides to the basement door. I need to get away from her before I do something to get slapped, although it might be worth it.
I rush down the stairs and start packing my drums. They’re a bitch, but I left my other set in Los Angeles because I honestly didn’t think Quinn and I would like it here. I didn’t want to move everything at once. I suppose when we go back for Liam and Josie’s bachelor parties I can rent a truck and bring them back. Hell, maybe if I’m lucky, Katelyn will want to do a road trip and we can stop every few hundred miles and christen the sites.
That would be some road trip.
CHAPTER 20
Katelyn
I don’t want to be here, let alone dressed the way I am. I could kill Liam. I’m going to kill Josie. I should’ve left the minute Harrison walked out of the kitchen. Made my escape, but no, I felt compelled to clean up their stupid mess. If I were home, no one would’ve come to look for me. I could’ve locked the door and buried myself into my sofa with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Instead, I’m sitting in Ralph’s wearing skintight jeans with an equally tight black tank that says I’m with the Band. Seriously? Are we teenagers again?
Sometimes I want to be. Go back to when it was just the four of us at the water tower or the drive-in movies. Those were the good days. Getting ready for prom in my bathroom and Josie using me as a cover so she could spend the night with Liam. I shudder, thinking of the twins doing half the shit that we did, but I know they will. Most of it is tradition, a rite of passage. I just won’t have Mason around to scare the boys away.
Of course, I couldn’t leave once we walked in because Ralph was there to greet us. I haven’t been back since 4225 West held a charity concert for me after Mason’s birthday and just one look from Ralph makes me feel guilty.
I look around and take in the fans here to see the guys. When we were on tour I only caught a few glimpses here and there, but being up front and center, my eyes are taking in a lot of... skin. I don’t know how Josie does this without getting jealous. I’m not sure I could. The way the guys are talked about... it makes me cringe and feel very sorry for them.
Josie and I are sitting on the edge of the dance floor, both of us with a bucket of beers on our table, waiting for the guys. I know once they come on stage, she’ll be up front because she’s the biggest groupie of all. Not that I can blame her, she lost Liam once and I know hell would have to freeze over before she gave him up again.
“How do you do it?” I ask before pulling a bottle from the ice-cold bucket and popping the top. I tip my head back and let the cold amber liquid fill my mouth. I shouldn’t drink, but Liam’s right – it’s Friday night and I have a babysitter – I should take advantage.
Josie shrugs. “Some of it bothers me, but I trust him. I know that he’s coming home to me at the end of the night and wouldn’t touch anyone. He’s got too much to lose.”
I marvel at her resilience. I’m not sure I would’ve forgiven him if I were in her shoes. I was there, holding her hair back when she was heaving the contents of her stomach day after day. She was a mess for a long time, but now she’s glowing. She smiles every day and it makes me want to have what she has. Knowing I did and lost it kills me.
The crowd grows the closer it gets to show time. From where we’re sitting, we won’t be able to see them very well. Not that I need to watch them, although this is my opportunity to check out Harrison without him looking. Yes, I admit it, he’s starting to get to me, but it’s not enough for me to throw in the towel. He’s intriguing and I have a feeling there’s more to him than a drummer in a rock band. I’m just not sure I’m the right person to figure out who he is exactly. I don’t have anything to offer him. I’m afraid I’m not enough for someone like him.
The lights dim and the fans start screaming. There’s excitement in the air, I can feel it coursing through me. Today I can be a fan without having to make sure the guys are taken care of, Ralph will do that tonight.
Josie stands on her chair and whistles as Liam takes the stage.
“Hey baby,” he says into the microphone, making all the women go nuts. Too bad he’s only talking to her. I shake my head and start laughing. It’s like those two were never apart.
I decide to stand on my chair too or I won’t be able to see. I’m praying no one will bump into me. The last thing I need is to do a table dive. Jimmy comes out next and instantly starts flirting with some of the women in the front row. He ho
lds one of their hands and leans down to their ear. Who knows what he’s saying, probably giving her his number. I’m honestly surprised that he’s not more of a PR nightmare. Some days he acts like a family man and the next, he’s the man-whore of the group.
Harrison comes on stage last. He’s switched from a beanie to a baseball cap that he’s wearing backward. I remember very clearly the last time I saw his hat like that. I hold my breath when he looks out into the crowd. Is he looking for me? Half of me wants him to, but the other half wills him to find someone that can give him what he wants.
Harrison makes a few adjustments before he spins his sticks in between his fingers, then he claps them together and counts to four. I look over at Josie, who is nodding her head and yelling at Liam.
The song is new, something I’ve never heard before. Josie seems to know the lyrics because she’s singing right along. My heart aches with love for Liam and Josie. He has this talent and is able to write songs about her. I can’t even make it a day without thinking about what Mason’s voice sounded like and how I’ll never hear the words I love you said to me again, and here’s my best friend, being sung to like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do for her.
The words of the song are touching, about how his heart trumped his mind and that he should’ve known better. I move to the beat of the song, swaying back and forth as I watch Harrison pound on the drums. I can’t tell if he’s looking out to the crowd or not. I wish he would, even just for a moment. Maybe I’d wave and he’d smile. Liam sings about love being a sure thing and I wish things were that simple.
Moving on should be simple. Picking up the pieces and opening a new door to my life should be easy. So why isn’t it? Why am I second-guessing everything? I sit down and grab another beer. I need to drown my sorrows or at least keep the voices out of my head. I can’t love another man. I just can’t.
For each song the guys play, I drink at least two beers. Too much talk about broken hearts, love, sex and life. Ralph refills the bucket and Josie eyes me. I shouldn’t have come. Listening to them sing is far different from being backstage and working for them. I should be working – that’s what I should be doing – not sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories Page 14