Her phone vibrated and Jax’s name crossed the screen, causing her pulse to race. Maybe he was going to cancel. She hesitated and then swiped the screen. Relief washed over her as “Can’t wait to see you” popped up.
Really? Karma’s fingers flew across the keyboard and then she stopped herself before hitting send and backspaced. Fake it till you make it, right? She didn’t need him to see how insecure she really was.
Well then hurry up! :)
I’m on my way.
See you soon.
Jax really was too good to be true and she was terrified because she was already starting to have feelings for him. She knew he was only going to be around for three weeks and then fade away into the background. Even though she knew she would be shattered when it was over she’d made a conscious decision to enjoy any time they had together. For some reason the stars had aligned and she wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass her by. She looked up at the ceiling. Thank you, universe!
“Karma!” her father yelled up the stairs.
“One minute!” She dropped the brush onto the vanity table, gave a last look in the mirror, and trotted down the stairs. “What’s up?”
Her father looked over from the kitchen counter. “I just wanted to have breakfast with you before you left.”
“Umm, okay.” She was hungry anyway. “Where’s Matt?”
“He’s in the study doing something for work. So how are things with Jax?”
“Good, I guess. He keeps coming back for more so I guess that’s a positive sign.” Karma shrugged. Her dad had a bowl set out for making French toast, one of her favorites.
“Tomorrow’s your birthday.”
Karma sighed. “Ugh, don’t remind me.”
“Are we still on for movie night?”
“Sure, I don’t think I’ll be seeing Jax.”
“Well, you can invite him over if you are. Matt’s going to be here.”
Karma pulled at the bottom of her T-shirt. “All right, I guess I’ll ask him.”
“Grab some coffee if you want and sit down. Breakfast will be ready shortly.”
Once in a blue moon she’d join him for coffee. If she added enough milk and sugar it was drinkable.
Karma sat down with the hot mug of coffee in her hands and watched as her father expertly dipped the bread into the bowl before letting it sizzle on the pan. The aroma of cinnamon soon filled the room.
“So what are you doing today?”
Groaning loudly, Karma gave her dad a look. “You don’t want to know.”
“Of course I do.” He dropped a piece of toast on the plate, buttered it, and covered it with powdered sugar. Heaven. Her mouth watered with anticipation.
“Bungee jumping.”
He turned with his eyes widened. “Karma, you’re terrified of heights.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” She raised the mug to her lips.
“You’re going to jump off of a—”
“Bridge,” Karma filled in with a sigh.
“Jumping off a bridge for a guy? That doesn’t sound like you.” He looked concerned.
He was right, it wasn’t like her, but she was desperate not to lose this opportunity. “It’s that stupid list! Somehow I put stuff on there that I had no intention of ever doing. I don’t want him to think I’m a liar.”
Her dad set the plate in front of her. “I think that’s a bit extreme. I’m sure he’d understand. Just tell him you had too much to drink, and come clean about the list.”
“I just don’t want to ruin the chance. And besides, lots of people bungee jump. Maybe it will be fun.”
Her dad raised an eyebrow and made his way back to the stove. “I think you should reconsider.”
“Reconsider what?” Matt asked, dropping into the seat next to Karma. “I couldn’t resist the smell. Work can wait.”
“Karma’s going bungee jumping today because it was on the list she printed out from the Internet. Thanks to your brilliant idea, I must add.” Her father gave him a withering stare.
Matt just laughed and Karma poked him with her elbow.
“She won’t do it.” Dad said firmly. “She’ll make up some excuse about being sick or something. No offense, Karma.”
“None taken.” The thought had not crossed her mind, but now that he mentioned it...
“It’s really not that bad though. I’ve gone a few times,” Matt said. “It’s over really fast and then you have bragging rights for life.”
“Really, Matthew? Bragging rights?” Karma’s father gave him an exasperated look.
He shrugged and smiled at Karma. “I’d jump off a bridge for that hunk of beef you have.”
Karma grinned back. “He is a hottie.” She shoved a mouthful of French toast in her mouth, closing her eyes to savor the taste.
“And he’s nice. Let’s not forget that,” her father said, setting Matt’s plate down in front of him and another for himself.
Jax had a lot going for him, that much was obvious. Even the approval of her two dads, who had always thought she dated beneath her out of desperation. Maybe she had. Who knows? They did all turn out to be losers in the long run. Truth be told, they were losers in the short run.
Karma pulled off a piece of crust and slipped it to Princess under the table. The dog lapped it up with her long tongue, staring up at her with pleading eyes for more.
“Last one.” Karma threw another piece down.
“Karma! You know she can’t have table food.”
“You can’t say no to those beady little eyes.” Karma brought the coffee cup to her lips and swallowed the last of it.
Her father didn’t bother to reply. He knew it was true, and Karma had caught him on more than one occasion slipping bits of food to the dog on the side.
When the doorbell rang Karma rushed to answer it. Jax looked even sexier than normal, if that was possible. He had on a white graphic T-shirt that stretched across his thick shoulders, and a pair of loose cargo shorts hung at his hips. His chiseled face was covered with dark stubble and his inky black hair looked tousled. Damn, he was so masculine it made her feel giddy. Then to complete the picture he gave her a grin that made her stomach roll. Hunk of beef was an accurate description if she’d ever heard one.
Karma swallowed hard and then managed to get out. “Hey.” Real smooth.
“Hey yourself.”
“Let him in, Karma,” her father yelled from the living room.
Oh yeah, I guess that would be nice to let him in. Sometimes just seeing him made her forget what she was going to say. “Come on in. I just have to grab my things.”
Jax wandered into the living room while she ran up the stairs two at a time to grab her bag.
When Karma came back down Jax was sitting on the sofa talking to her dads, and they appeared to be having a good time. It was nice to see. Jax seemed completely at ease around them. She almost hated to interrupt them. Almost.
“You ready?” Karma asked, shifting the weight on her feet. She was nervous as hell. Nervous about being alone with Jax and certainly nervous about the potential of dying while jumping off a bridge. What kind of rational person thinks that sounds fun? What kind of rational person agrees to it because of a stupid list? Obviously she was not a rational person.
Jax stood up and crossed the room. She loved the way he looked at her. As if she was the only person on earth.
“Jax,” her dad called and Jax turned toward him. “Would you mind giving taking my phone number? You know, in case anything goes wrong today.”
“Of course. But you really don’t have to worry. It’s perfectly safe.”
“Right,” her father said. He looked like he was going to say more but stopped himself. Karma was grateful. The last thing she needed was her dad to go into some lecture about the safety issues. She was already terrified without hearing about accidents or deaths. And it’s not like she was a little kid anymore.
Her rattled off his number and Jax entered it into his phone.
Finally, they were able to slip out of the house.
“Are you nervous?” Jax asked once they took off down the road.
“Me? Nervous?” Karma forced a laugh. “Nervous as hell,” she said truthfully.
“You’ll be fine. And you’ll probably want to go again.”
“Somehow, I doubt that.” Karma scooted over to the middle of the truck’s seat. Jax didn’t seem to mind. A shot of electricity ran up her leg when her thigh brushed his. Hopefully, it was going to be a very long drive.
CHAPTER 14
Jax looked down at her leg pressed against his and found himself wishing for the hundredth time that he hadn’t come up with the three-week rule. He knew it was the right thing to do, but the right thing was seldom the easiest thing to do. Temptation was a royal bitch. Now he knew how Eve must have felt in the Garden of Eden.
He should tell her to get back near the window, but he liked having her so close to him. The heat of her thigh against his felt right. Like she belonged by his side. He kept his hands gripped around the steering wheel, willing himself not to reach out and touch her. When what he really wanted to do was place his hand on her thigh or pull his damn truck over in a secluded area and press his body to hers. He wanted to run his hands up and down her body and place his lips on her sweet skin. Jesus. Jax gripped the steering wheel tighter until his knuckles whitened.
He looked down at the speedometer and realized he was speeding. He let off the gas and tried to clear his mind. Just the mental images alone left his heart racing.
Karma reached down, pressing her leg a little firmer against his, and turned up the radio. Jax couldn’t help but smile when she started singing along to some country song. She was completely out of tune, moving awkwardly to the music. Karma was nothing like the girls he usually dated, which was refreshing. He couldn’t recall the last time he felt this happy and this at ease with anyone. He didn’t know what he did to deserve to cross paths with this girl, but he sure as hell was glad he did.
When the song was over Karma turned down the music and asked how much longer.
Jack looked at the clock on the dashboard. “Still another couple of hours.”
“Works for me, I’m not in a rush.” Karma leaned her head against his shoulder, and he stiffened. The stray strands of her hair tickled his neck and her unique scent was driving him crazy.
Another song came on and she lifted her head, singing again. His body relaxed.
“How many times have you done this?” Karma asked, her head still moving to the music.
“Bungee jump? Three times.”
“Really?” She crinkled up her nose and looked adorable.
“Yeah, a buddy of mine’s addicted; he travels around going to different locations.”
“That sounds unhealthy.”
Jax laughed loudly. “You’re one to talk, look at your list. It’s like you have a death wish or something.”
“Hardly,” Karma said as she stopped dancing, and Jax caught a pained look flash across her face before his eyes went back to the road.
“I was just kidding,” Jax said, hoping she would continue with the conversation.
Karma looked out the window and spoke so softy Jax had to strain to hear. “I guess I used to have a death wish, but not anymore. I tried to kill myself once.”
He reached over and turned off the radio. That was the last thing he had expected her to say. “Why?” he asked as he pulled the truck over to the side of the road and came to a stop.
She didn’t turn in his direction, just kept staring out the window. “I was young, almost fourteen.”
“What happened?”
Karma turned back and met his eyes. “I failed.”
“I mean what happened to make you want to take your own life?”
“I really don’t know. Probably just the usual teenage angst, hormones out of balance or something. I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere. My mother always made me feel inadequate. She got worse when I started to develop. I wasn’t turning into the beautiful swan she had hoped for. Plus, people were always making fun of me because of my name and my father. It was stupid really. There wasn’t one thing, it was just an accumulation of a lot of things. I guess. I swallowed a bottle of pills, but my father came home early from work and found me passed out. Rushed me to the hospital.”
Jax sat in silence. What the hell could he say to that? He couldn’t for the life of him grasp why someone would want to end their own life. There was always something to live for, even if it was pizza or the sight of a sunrise.
“I’m glad you failed,” he said, his voice gruff.
“Me too.” Karma smiled. “I can’t believe I even told you that. The only people that know are my parents and my therapist. Maybe it’s because you took me to your special place. I wanted to tell you something about me that no one else knows.”
Jax reached over and grabbed her hand, running his thumb along her smooth skin. “Thank you.”
Karma shook her head and laughed. “I don’t know how you do it, Jax.”
“Do what?”
“Make me feel like I’m normal.”
“I don’t think you’re normal,” Jax said, squeezing her hand.
“You think I’m crazy?” There was a catch in her voice.
“No, I think you’re incredible. I’ve never met anyone like you before and I’m sure I never will again. If you could see yourself the way I do you would never doubt yourself again.”
Karma looked up at him and blinked her eyes, swallowing as if she was pushing back tears. Great, he didn’t want her to cry.
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She laid her head back down on his shoulder.
Jax wanted to wrap her in his arms and show her just how incredible she was, but instead he pulled back onto the road and kept her hand firmly in his for the rest of the drive.
“Do you want to eat before or after?” Jax asked as they got closer to the location.
Karma looked thoughtful. “Let’s go with after. Last thing I want is to get sick in front of everyone.”
Jax laughed. “Probably a good idea.”
They walked toward the little shack to buy tickets. Karma’s steps faltered, and Jax looked over at her. Her already pale skin took on a ghostly hue. “You sure you’re ready for this?”
She shook her head, rubbing her temples. “No, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.”
“You’ll do fine. I know you can do it,” Jax said, reassuring her. If there was one thing he learned being a fireman it was how to calm people down when they were panicked. And there was definitely panic in her stunning gray eyes.
“I don’t know if I can do it,” Karma said, looking down at the ground.
“Yes, you can.” He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Look at me.”
Her hesitant eyes met his steady gaze. “It’s a good thing to face your fears, and I’ll be with you the whole time.”
“Can we go together?” Karma asked with a hint of hope in her voice.
Crap; he’d said the wrong thing. “I wish. But I’ll be standing there when you go down and when you get back up. You can do this, Karma. And you’ll feel so proud of yourself once it’s done.”
She shot him a “yeah right” look.
“I’m serious. Trust me.”
“Okay,” she said, meeting his eyes and squaring her shoulders. “All morning I’ve been repeating in my head that countless others have done it and I can do it too.”
His hands slid down her arms and grabbed her hands. “That’s right. I’ll go first, okay?”
Karma nodded and then changed her mind. “No, I’ll go first. I want to get it over with.”
“That’s my girl!” Jax threw his arm around her, paid for the tickets, and they walked over toward the instructors.
There were ten other people before them, which Jax was glad about. Maybe if she witnessed all the others retuning safely it would put her mind at ease.
&nb
sp; When it was her turn to go, Karma looked at Jax and said, “Why the hell am I jumping off a bridge again?”
“Bucket list.” Jax leaned down and cupped her face between his hands and gave her a brief but thorough kiss. “You got this.”
She took a deep breath and blew it out as the instructor secured her and another came over and double checked.
“You okay? You’re looking a little green,” one of the guys said.
“I think so. No one has died here, right?” Karma asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, but her face said she was half serious.
“Not yet.” The instructor winked.
“Oh God.” Karma closed her eyes.
“Hey, you can do this,” Jax said softly, and Karma opened her eyes and nodded her head. The look of fear upon her face was hard for him to see. He wanted to throw her over his shoulder and take her away from anything that made her uncomfortable. But he knew she had to do this. It had to be important to make it on her list. He’d hate for her to back out now.
“I’m ready,” Karma said. Her voice trembled a bit, betraying her fear. She tried to manage a brave smile, which failed miserably.
Jax pulled out his phone. He wanted to take her mind off the fear for a minute. “Smile, I promised your dad a pic.”
“Seriously?” Karma said and then flashed a fake smile. Jax snapped the pic.
The instructor helped her to the top and she stood on the edge. Jax could see her legs shaking. Karma turned and looked at him and he gave her a thumbs up and smiled.
“On the count of three, dive. One, two, three!”
Karma didn’t move; she was frozen in place. She tried to calm herself. Every fiber in her body was telling her to flee.
The two instructors glanced at each other. “Do you want to back out?”
“No.” She again turned slightly to see Jax. “Can I tell him something first?”
“Sure. Make it quick, though, we’ve got a long line after you.”
Jax wondered what in the world she had to tell him that was so important.
“Jax, I never had a bucket list, I have no idea why I told you that when I was drunk. And I’m terrified of heights. This is the last thing in the world I want to be doing right now, but if I have to do it I’m glad it’s with you.” And then she held her arms out, counted to three out loud, and dove.
The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories Page 253