“I guess I’m afraid I’ll fail. And my mother will have more ammunition against me, and my father will have to pick up the pieces like always.”
“What if you soar on your own?”
“I won’t,” Karma said stubbornly.
“Okay, we’ll leave that for another day. Tell me more about Jax.”
Karma started from the club and filled her in on the bucket list. Blackwell listened with interest.
“I think this boy is good for you.” She wrote another note on her pad. It was killing Karma not to know what she had written.
“It’s only three weeks. And now we’re down to almost two.”
“Do you really think it will end when you reach the self-imposed deadline?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t pull away from him. Let it take the natural course.”
“I’m trying.” Karma picked at the arm of the chair.
Blackwell looked down at her hand but didn’t say anything. “I think that’s enough for today. We’ll continue next week.”
“Do you really think I should see someone else?” Karma asked as she stood up and looked around the office that was clearly set up for children.
“I’m afraid so.” Dr. Blackwell smoothed down her skirt and then walked toward the door. “But on your own time. When you are ready I can recommend a few therapists.”
“Thank you,” Karma said, and her shoulders sagged as the door clicked behind her. Her mind was racing. What if her shrink and dads were right?
Stressed out from the session, Karma went back home, ran upstairs to her bathroom, turned on the hot water, and gingerly sank into the tub, leaning her head against the curve of it. Thoughts and emotions coursed through her mind. The muscles in her shoulders and neck were stiff. Maybe she should ask Eva if she wanted to move in together. Or would that be a cop-out too? Karma closed her eyes, too tired to think about it anymore.
CHAPTER 20
A black sedan wedged its way in front of him, and Jax cursed under his breath, tapping his fingers in frustration on the steering wheel. He honked his horn, and the guy held his hand out the window, flipping him off. Traffic was a mess. He was never going to get to Karma’s at this rate. The normal hour drive was turning into an hour and a half. He felt an unnatural pull to be near her whenever they were apart. The twenty-four-hour shift felt like a lifetime, even with the adrenaline rush of the fire. He should probably text her and tell her he was running late. He glanced at the clock, causing tension to build up in his shoulders. He should have left earlier. Traffic was too bad to text, so he hit the button to call wirelessly.
“Hey, I’m running late, traffic’s horrible.”
“It’s okay, I just got out of the shower myself.”
Jax nearly groaned out loud at the thought of Karma soaking wet without a stitch of clothing on. “Shower, eh?” His voice was rough. He could feel a tingle of sexual anticipation and excitement stir within.
Karma’s laugh crossed the line. “Wanna have phone sex?”
He nearly drove off the road. “I don’t think I could handle that right now. But I’ll take a rain check.” Jax shook his head; she was always full of surprises.
“You’re no fun.” He could hear the pout in her words.
“I’ll be there soon. I need to hang up the phone, or I won’t be able to walk to your doorway without your fathers knowing how anxious I am to see you.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll see you soon.” Jax clicked off the phone with a smile tugging at his lips. A few words with Karma and his road rage quickly evaporated.
He couldn’t wait to see her face and that mischievous smile she seemed to save just for him. Wishful thinking; she probably smiled at all the guys like that. Just the thought sent a rare jolt of jealousy through him. Jax laughed at himself. What the hell had this girl done to him? And in such a short period of time. It made absolutely no sense. All he had wanted was casual sex, but he couldn’t walk away now if he tried.
He conjured up a mental image of her crazy dark hair, curvy body, and striking eyes. She was so fucking hot. It still boggled his mind she was single—let alone a virgin. He must have done something right in a past life. Jax laughed at his own joke: Karma.
Once out of the hectic traffic and into the quiet country roads his shoulders relaxed as all his tension started to evaporate. Not much further now. A quick glance at the dashboard clock showed he was actually only twenty minutes late. Still, he hated to be late for anything.
Jax flicked his blinker and turned into the quiet neighborhood. Tall oak trees lined the sidewalks along with old-fashioned lamp posts. He was still a little overwhelmed by obvious affluence, but you’d never know it from knowing Karma—she was so down to earth. His pulse raced when he turned into her driveway.
He didn’t even have time to get out of his truck before she came bouncing down the stairs. The idea of her looking out the window waiting for him went straight to his ego. Her hair was pulled into a loose messy bun, and she was wearing a pair of jeans that hung low on her hips and a blue sweater that hung off her right shoulder. In the absence of a bra strap, his eyes drifted lower. She must be wearing a strapless bra.
He was so busy watching her he hadn’t even jumped out to let her in. What the hell was wrong with him?
“I didn’t want you to embarrass yourself,” she said with a smirk, looking pointedly at his crotch.
“Get in the truck!” Jax laughed.
“So what are we going to do today?” Karma asked as she slid into the truck. A wave of disappointment ran through him when she stayed near the window.
“Well, it’s not on your list, but I thought I would take you by my mother’s for lunch if that’s okay?”
“Your mom’s?” She bit the corner of her lip. “Sure, I mean you’ve meet my family, so why not?”
“They are going to love you, don’t worry,” Jax said with a smile. He’d never brought a female to his family this early on, but after the fiasco with Karma’s own mother he wanted her to meet his mom for some reason.
“I hope you’re hungry, because she gets insulted if you don’t clean your plate.”
Karma twisted her hands in her lap, and Jax wondered if she was nervous. Maybe it wasn’t such a bright idea. She probably thought he was moving too fast, and he probably was. He backed the truck out of the driveway. His mother was expecting them so it was kinda too late to back out now. If she seemed too uncomfortable, he would find a reason for them to leave early.
Karma scooted over to the middle, placed her feet on the dashboard, and dropped her head onto his shoulder. An unfamiliar wave of elation washed over him. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. He shook his head to banish the thought. Time was passing too quickly. It was funny; when this first started, three weeks seemed so long and now he wished he’d made the timeline further away.
“How was work?” Karma asked, tilting her head to look up at him.
Jax’s jaw clenched. He didn’t really want to bring up the reality of his job. He knew it was hard for his own mother to be married to a fireman. But Karma also had a right to know what his day entailed. There was no point in keeping it from her. He found himself wanting to be an open book to her, he had no idea why. He cleared his throat. “Pretty rough day but it turned out well. We thought we lost a young boy, but the paramedics revived him.”
Karma dropped her feet from the dashboard. “Wow. What happened?”
“Electrical fire. Mom got freaked out and instead of running outside locked her and the boy in the bathroom.”
“Really?” Her nose scrunched up. “Why would she do that?”
“It’s more common than you would think. Under duress, there’s no telling how people react. The fire started in the kitchen and quickly spread downstairs. I’m sure she took one look down the stairs, and logic flew out the window. Luckily, we got there in time.”
Karma’s hand grasped his thigh. He dropped his hand to hers and gave it a slig
ht squeeze as he pulled to a stop at a red light.
Karma reached up and turned his head toward hers, and he willingly opened his lips when her mouth touched his. The kiss was short and sweet.
A car hooked their horn and Jax grinned, pressing on the gas.
“I really don’t know how you do it.” Karma laid her head back on his shoulder.
“What?”
“Run into a burning building.”
Jax shrugged. “Someone has to do it.”
“I guess so.” Karma paused. “I’m glad the boy was okay.”
“Me too.” They lapsed into silence.
He pulled into the driveway and jumped out of the truck, making his way around to open Karma’s door.
“Do I look okay?” Karma asked as she self-consciously ran a hand over her hair while looking in the mirror.
“You look incredible, as usual.” He held his hand out, and she grasped it, jumping down from the truck. “Nothing to worry about. They are going to love you. Just be yourself.”
Karma gave him a look as they strolled up to the house.
Jax knocked on the door a couple of times and then pushed the door open. His mother came walking out of the kitchen drying her hands on a towel. Her brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she had a red apron wrapped around her. The house smelled like fresh-baked cookies, causing his mouth to water.
“Hey, Mom, this is Karma. And Karma, this is my mom, Tessa.”
“Karma, it’s so lovely to meet you. Jax has told us all about you.” She pulled Karma into a hug.
Jax could tell by the startled look on Karma’s face the hug had not been expected. “It’s nice to meet you too.” She lightly patted his mother’s back clearly uncomfortable.
His mom pulled away and looked at Karma with a sweet smile, causing the corner of her eyes to crinkle. “Jackson, why didn’t you tell me she was so beautiful?”
Karma looked down at the ground. He could see the pink flush creep up her neck.
“I thought I had,” Jax said, coming closer and putting his arm around her shoulder. He felt her relax beneath his touch.
His mother raised an eyebrow. It was unusual for Jax to show affection around his family. “Maybe you did. It’s getting harder for me to remember things the older I get.”
“You’re not that old.” Jax rolled his eyes.
“Mid-fifties. It’s all downhill from here.” She swatted him with the towel.
“You don’t look a day over thirty-eight,” Karma said.
His mother’s face lit up. “You must bring this girl around more often, Jackson. I do believe I’m blushing.”
“Where’s the girls?” Jax asked, looking around the quiet house.
“They’ll be here soon. They had to run to the store to get some more butter. I ran out making the cookies and can’t have mashed potatoes without it.”
“They all went?” Jax shook his head. He’d never understand the way females liked to do things in packs.
“Sam just got her permit. They wanted to take a girls ride around town.” His mom rolled her eyes and led them into the kitchen. The large plate of cookies sat on the middle of the large oval table. Jax reached down and grabbed one—still warm and gooey—and shoved it in his mouth. Damn, they were good.
“Milk?” his mom asked, looking at both of them.
“Please. These cookies smell amazing,” Karma said.
“Family recipe passed down from generation to generation.” His mother’s face lit up as she grinned, her blue eyes twinkling. “Right off the back of the Nestle chocolate chip bag.”
Karma laughed. God, he loved that sound.
He pulled out a seat for Karma, and they sat down devouring cookies while his mom busied herself around the kitchen, humming under her breath. It always felt good to be home.
A few minutes later the door burst open and all five of his sisters filed into the house, laughing at no telling what.
Jax stood up. He held his arms opened wide and they all crushed into him.
His youngest sister Sam was rambling about getting her license soon. Everyone was trying to talk at once.
Jax hushed them all. “I wanted you guys to meet Karma.”
He nudged her at the elbow till she stood up. Karma looked overwhelmed. However, she smiled and went around learning each of his sisters’ names, and quickly looked at ease.
“You have to tell me, what did he buy you for your birthday?” Janice asked with a smirk.
Jax gave his sister a look but it was useless. Anytime his sisters got a chance to get a dig in they took it. Hopefully, they wouldn’t start in on him or tell any embarrassing stories.
Karma looked over at Jax. “Cupcakes. He said his mom made cupcakes instead of cake.”
“That was sweet,” his mom said over her shoulder, opening the oven to pull out the chicken. “That’s because everyone in the house likes different frosting. Cupcakes made it easy.”
He watched Karma interact with his sisters like they were old friends. A tiny voice inside of him said he needed to pull away, to keep an emotional distance. He told the voice to shut up.
Karma laughed at something and he knew without a doubt he’d passed the turnaround point long ago. There was no denying it—Karma Points was deep under his skin, and he liked having her there.
His mother called them to the table to eat. Jax pulled his seat in and dropped his leg to the side, brushing his knee against hers. He saw the familiar flush, and a tickle of lust spread down to his southern region. Damn, he loved the color on her cheeks.
Watching the way she closed her mouth over the fork and how she closed her eyes to savor the taste made his pulse race. He had to force his eyes away and down at his own plate. Jax reached down and tugged his jeans down a bit to give himself some relief.
They made it through the lunch, and Karma seemed reluctant to leave.
“So what’d you think?” he asked as he pulled out of the driveway.
“You have an incredible family.”
“Yeah, not too shabby.”
“You’re very lucky,” Karma said wistfully.
“I guess. I’m sure it would have been nicer to grow up with both parents, but my mom made do.”
Karma’s face paled. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sure it was hell growing up without your father.”
“I wouldn’t say it was hell. Just always a void like something was missing, but as you see we turned out all right. No need to apologize.”
“Thanks for inviting me. Do you think your mom liked me?”
“She liked you; she even asked when I would be bringing you back over.”
“I’m glad,” Karma said, clearly relieved, and then she smiled. “Now I understand.”
“Understand what?”
“Why you’re not an asshole like I thought you would be.”
Jax laughed loudly. “You thought I was an asshole?”
“Well, yeah. I mean look at you. You look like the guy that mothers warn their daughters about. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. As Matt would say, your momma raised you right.”
“I guess I should be lucky you gave me the time of day then.”
Karma laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m the lucky one.”
Jax was glad he decided to bring Karma to meet his family. “What were my sisters filling your ears with?”
Karma lifted her head. “I should tell you that Mandy told me about Sarah.”
Jax clenched his jaw. Why was he not surprised? His sisters loved to gossip.
“She was a huge mistake. I’d rather not talk about it,” Jax said.
“Did you love her?” Karma pulled at her shirt and didn’t meet his eyes.
Jax took a moment to gather his thoughts. He really didn’t want to talk about it, but he also didn’t want Karma to worry about someone that meant nothing to him. “It was over a year ago, and if I were honest, we never really got along well to begin with. She was high maintenance and we had very little i
n common. My mother couldn’t stand her. At the time I thought I loved her.”
Karma looked out the window. “Are you over her?”
“Ancient history. I haven’t heard or spoken to her since we broke up and as far as I’m concerned that’s fine with me. Does that answer your questions?”
“I shouldn’t have probed. I guess I was a little envious when I heard you were engaged.”
Jax grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. He really hated how insecure she was, but he got it. Her mother had done a number on her. He wished he could reassure her. Tell her the truth that what he felt for Karma was a thousand times stronger than what he’d had with Sarah and it scared the hell out of him. But he didn’t want to freak her out.
“How did the meeting with your shrink go yesterday?” He wasn’t sure if this subject was off limits, but figured he’d test the waters. And change the subject.
“The usual. Although I think I had some sort of breakthrough. I’m thinking about getting my own apartment.”
“Why is that a breakthrough?”
“I’m not usually one to leave my comfort zone.”
Jax laughed. “Well then, I would say that breakthrough came the day you jumped off the bridge.”
Karma looked lost in thought and then finally she said, “Maybe it did.”
CHAPTER 21
Two very different perfumes intermingled in the air. Eva’s smelled earthy, and Karma’s smelled sweet. Maybe she should have borrowed Eva’s perfume. Hell, borrowed her personality while she was at it. Karma twirled the mascara between her hands before applying a coat to the top of her lashes.
Eva turned to the side, staring at herself in Karma’s bathroom mirror. “What do you think?” she asked, smoothing down her red shirt across her flat abdomen. Her perky chest jutted out, filling Karma with boob envy. She looked down at her own barely B cups, and then her eyes went back to Eva.
They stared at each other over the bathroom sink. “Turn around,” Karma said, narrowing her eyes.
Eva was wearing a pair of black pants that looked like they had been painted on, which highlighted her long shapely legs and round booty. No surprise, she had paired the pants with a loose red shirt that draped really low in the back. Her short hair was spiked up, drawing the eye to her high cheekbones. The tips of her hair were dyed Crayola red. There was no denying it, Eva was perfection; she’d look hot in a paper sack.
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