When Victoria texted Claire a few minutes later she wasn’t shocked by the response.
You’re going home with him?
-Well he’s taking me home.
Yeah
-What?
Nothing. Good for you. I’m going to Brad’s. I’ll see you at home tonight
-K. See ya.
She knew what Claire was thinking without even hearing her voice. This wasn’t the Victoria she knew, the planned out calculated type A person who was never spontaneous. But Brighton made her feel daring. That there was some great mystery behind each corner and he would help her put the puzzle pieces together to figure it out.
She packed her things quickly and sat out on the front porch with her bag next to her reading book. At first when the silver Audi showed up she didn’t even move. When she heard the footsteps approach her she looked up from her latest novel.
“All right?”
“Yeah. Let me just say goodbye to my mom. My dad is on a golf trip.”
He nodded and she turned swiftly and went into the house. She ran into the kitchen where her mom was still working on her latest baking masterpiece.
“I’m leaving Mom.”
Her mother wiped her hands on her apron and embraced her. “Love you kiddo.”
“Love you too Mom.”
As she left the house she heard her mom yell to them saying, “Be safe.” Some things parents will always tell you, but sometimes they mean more than you realize.
Brighton had already put her bag in the car and started the engine. He was leaning casually next to the passenger side door and opened it upon her arrival. She sat down expecting to be nervous but instead felt relaxed as he pulled out of her driveway and they started their trip.
“Your house is amazing. You grew up there, right?”
She nodded, “Yeah, my parents, my sister, and I.”
“Older or younger?”
“She’s got three years on me. She’s married now, but she lives close by. That was my plan to until...”
“Until your boyfriend got shot?” The way he said it, so nonchalant, suddenly made Victoria feel uncomfortable.
“He wasn’t just my boyfriend. Levi was everything to me.”
He looked over at her with his mouth open slightly. His chiseled features outlined by the sun behind him. “I didn’t mean to offend. That was stupid of me to say.”
“I’m glad you see it that way. But yeah, I didn’t have any plans to move far away, but I kind of like where I live now.”
“Sometimes I miss London. The architecture and the beauty of its age, but there’s nothing there for me anymore. Is there something here for you?”
She shrugged, unsure how to answer him. Was there anything here for her anymore? She didn’t know. Her family would always be in Cape Haven, but her past haunted her here too.
They sat in silence for a while listening to music. Victoria almost fell asleep before Brighton let it be known why he actually asked to take her home.
“So are you seeing anyone?”
“No, are you?”
He smiled, “No, but there’s someone I would like to see.”
“Oh? Who’s that?”
“You.”
She gulped. How was she supposed to respond to that? He knew her past and knew that she wasn’t ready to start dating yet. But here he was professing his feelings for her. And she had to admit that her heart was beating harder than it had in months.
“Me?” She choked out. “Why me?”
“You’re interesting and unique.”
“I am?”
“You are. You’re also incredibly beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She was sincere knowing that his words were honest made her feel grateful for his compliments.
“So what do you think?”
She looked out the window unable to make eye contact with them. She knew if she looked into those green eyes that she wouldn’t tell him the truth.
“I’m not ready yet. I want to be, but I’m not.”
“Do you feel anything for me?”
She knew that she did. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way that he talked or about how he made her feel. Brighton was something special; someone she wanted to hold onto.
“Yes,” she whispered. “But that doesn’t change the way that I feel.”
As they approached her apartment complex he stopped. “But you do feel something for me. And that’s a start.”
She nodded, pursing her lips.
He pulled up in front of her apartment and got her bag without another word. He opened her door and when she exited the car he passed her luggage to her.
“This is goodbye.”
“So it is,” she offered, still stunned by their conversation in the car.
“I’ll call you. And I’m not some American prick, so I actually will call.”
She laughed, “Good to know.”
He kissed her quickly on the cheek. “Goodbye Victoria.”
She rubbed the spot where he had left his mark of affection. “Bye.”
17
Two months passed and Victoria spent most of her free time with Brighton. They spent their days perusing books and talking about their futures. Making big decisions with someone that was so new to her seemed so foreign but at the same time exhilarating. Graduation and the holidays were quickly approaching and she was trying to figure out where she would go from here. And if Brighton would be a part of it.
“What do you think about this one?” She said tossing him a brochure of a campus on the West Coast.
“Uhhh... totally?”
She playfully hit him with another pamphlet. “You know graduation is only a couple weeks away and I need to make a decision.”
“What about your book?” He rested his hands behind his head and leaned back on her bed.
“What about it?”
“You said that’s what you want to do. I think you should go for it. Clean up your poems, send them off and then write your novel. It would be good for you.” He rubbed her back, “For us.”
“Us.” He had been mentioning that word a lot in the past month. He had only kissed her on the cheek, taking things slow out of respect for her, but she knew he was getting restless.
“You’re probably right. Why are you always right?”
He laughed, “It’s a gift.”
“Shut up.”
He changed the subject. “You going to watch that film from your production class? I heard it’s terrible.”
“Yeah probably, are you going back to your cozy little apartment for the night?”
He sat up, “Actually I was thinking of spending it here.”
“Here?” She was shocked, he had never asked to spend the night before.
“You okay with that?”
She took a deep breath, “Sure.” Walking over to her desk she got out her laptop and found the video online. “But you have to watch this so called terrible film with me.”
“Black and white? Really?”
“Yep!” She smiled before plopping back on the bed. He moved back and put his arm up for her to snuggle in. It was the first time she had been in this position since Levi. But she felt comfortable and safe with Brighton. She could do this with him.
Before long the film took it’s first victim and although Brighton sat upright he was snoring in Victoria’s ear. She knew she couldn’t move without waking him, so she stayed there. Encased by his warmth and lulled by his breathing she spent the night in his arms.
The next morning she awoke alone with a note next to her.
Early class, see you for dinner- B
She wanted to savor the moment so she grabbed her poetry journal from the drawer in her bedside table and with it, she accidently picked up her promise ring still attached to the chain.
She held the note in one hand, and the ring in the other. Her two choices. The past, or the future. Who would she choose?
###
When she talked to Kate a few week
s before Christmas, she was still mulling things over her head. She wasn’t sure she was completely ready for a relationship, but she didn’t want to let Brighton go either.
“Doing anything exciting this weekend?” Kate asked at the other end of the line.
“Honestly, I’m not really sure. I told Brighton he could plan our weekend out. I hope it involves seeing that new movie though.” Victoria could practically feel Kate smile on the other end of the line so she added, “Stop being smug. Your matchmaking skills did work, I’ll admit that. But being over the top will just ruin it for you.”
“Okay, okay. It’s just nice to hear you hanging out with people your age again. Not that your writing isn’t important to you, because it is and it’s an important part of your healing process. But I really think that spending time with people like Brighton and Claire is doing some good for you.”
“I know. I just wish you wouldn’t treat me like a child. I’m doing okay.”
Kate paused for a moment before speaking, “I know you are. But you and Brighton are getting pretty serious. The first time after Levi might be complicated. For both of you.”
Victoria rolled her eyes, “Kate, you know that Brighton and I have just been talking. We’re friends for now, nothing more. I’m out there, I’m following the rules. Besides, I am not going to discuss my sex life with you.” She was getting exasperated; Kate had set so many rules for her life and sometimes she just wanted to run away from them. But when it came to Brighton, Kate had been right, he was good for her and help her come out of the darkness that had taken such a strong hold of her life. He challenged her.
“Yes, but I also know that things haven’t progressed past the dating level. You’re graduating college. Taking all those extra classes has made you into this indefinite student. But that’s not going to happen for very much longer, and now you’re talking about possibly getting your Masters in English. Do you think you are going to meet boys at grad school or do you want to move forward with Brighton?”
“I’m not having the boy meets girl talk with you Kate. I’m an adult and I can make my own decisions. Brighton and I are taking it slow but it’s fine, He knows where I’m coming from. He’ll be patient with me.”
She waited for Kate to respond. She felt like the silence was speaking more than Kate’s words.
“What is it Kate?”
“I think you should have a conversation with Brighton. I just think he deserves to know where the two of you stand.”
“Fine. I will talk to him. Happy?” This conversation was taking an emotional toll on Victoria and she was ready for it to end.
“Sure.” Kate didn’t even try any small talk afterwards; she quickly hung up the phone. Victoria sat down on the edge of her bed and looked around her small room contemplating her future. Her Masters was something she was considering. Law school was out of the picture since she had taken a break from school when Levi passed away. It seemed so long ago but only six months had passed. She wasn’t sure she was ready to continue on the same path she had been on only a year ago. Her life is so different now; even her hobbies and interests had changed. And then there was Brighton. He had changed her in a way. Made her stronger and she respected him for that. But did she love him? She wasn’t sure. She dragged her fingers across the bedspread knowing that the only way to find out how he really felt about her was to have the conversation that Kate had indicated. She looked down at her phone still in her hands and clicked the favorites button. He was the second person on her list. She pressed call and he answered immediately.
“Hey you, what’s up?”
“Hi. What are you doing right now?”
“Nothing, why? Tori, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just got off the phone with Kate and she set me off about something. Can we talk? Face-to-face?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said in a light voice. “Want me to come over to your place?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
“Okay, see you in like a half hour?” He sounded hesitant. Victoria could tell she was making him nervous.
“Perfect.” She said cheerfully trying to dispel his nerves.
He said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone.
She took a deep breath before she opened the door. She didn’t know what she was going to say to him. She really cared about Brighton and she didn’t want to hurt him.
When she sat him down on the couch he seemed tense and nervous; she had made him that way.
“What’s going on love?”
“I just thought that we should talk. I mean I know the holidays are coming up and graduation... I was just kind of wondering where do we go from here?”
“Well, you're taking off next semester to write a book, and then starting Masters classes I thought.”
“What about you?” She stood, she was too uncomfortable with the situation to sit.
“I think I’m going to visit my dad for couple weeks. But when I get back I guess I’ll start looking for a job. The hotel industry is always looking for managers. Hopefully, I won’t have that much trouble. Why do you ask?”
Victoria started chewing on her lower lip, “I was just thinking about where I was going to live after graduation and I was thinking that I was going to get apartment on my own.”
He stood up slowly with a confused look on his face., “Is that what this is about?”
“It’s about that and so much more. I just don’t think I’m ready for any of this.”
“Any of what?”
She threw her hands up in the air, “Of us. Of this becoming so serious. I don’t think I’m ready.” She turned away.
“It’s not that serious yet, but we’re making steps. I don’t understand what’s gotten into you. I haven’t even pushed. Don’t shut me out now.”
“I don’t want to.” She moved away so he couldn’t see the pain this was causing her, she was still so conflicted when it came to Brighton.
“So, then don’t. We’ve been over this at least three times in the past couple months. I care about you! Why is that so hard for you to see?”
Victoria turned to look at him his eyes pleading with her, “It’s not that it’s hard to see. It’s just that it’s hard to understand.” She shook her head back and forth and attempted to walk away but he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.
“Why? Why is it so hard for you to understand how I feel about you? I care about you, Victoria. I see something for us. We have a future here and you’re throwing it away.”
She looked down at his hands clenching hers trying desperately to hold on to a relationship that she wasn’t prepared for. “I don’t know if I’m ready!” She pulled away from him and crossed her arms. She shook her head, “I only lost Levi six months ago. I don’t know that I can ever love anybody again like I loved him.” She watched the hurt come over Brighton’s beautiful green eyes and she knew that the pain was slicing through his heart, but she had to be honest with him. It wasn’t fair to tell him lies or give him hopes that may never come to fruition. But that didn’t mean it didn’t sting her as well. Her own honesty had caught her off guard. She still didn’t know how she felt. In so many ways she had made it out of the darkness, but so much was still uncertain. She wasn’t over Levi yet and she didn’t know how to get to that place where he would finally be in her past. “I’m sorry. I really am Brighton. You know I care about you too. I want to be ready for something more, I really do.”
He nodded his head, “I know. But you think you’ll ever get there? To a place where Levi isn’t the number one man in your life?”
She bit her lower lip. “I don’t know.”
Brighton moved towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders, “Victoria, he’s gone. Do you think he would want you to be alone?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what he would want. It was never something we talked about. I mean, who does this happen to? Nobody in their twenties thinks that they’re going to die tomorrow.” Tears welled up in her eyes
.
He pulled her in close to him embracing her even though she kept her arms crossed in front of her chest. “You’re right, nobody expects that to happen. But it’s what happens after that is so important.”
She pulled back just slightly in order to look at his face. “What do you mean?”
He looked down at her, “It’s about the journey of moving on. Of finding out who you really are when the storm has passed. You’re still in the process, and that’s okay. I just have to learn to be more patient. Sometimes I forget how new your scars still are.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry I pushed you. I can wait. I will wait.”
But his sudden admission of how this was his fault made Victoria think twice. Here Brighton was standing in front of her leaving his heart on the line and she was shutting him down. He was right. Levi wouldn’t have wanted her to be so miserable. He would want her to move on.
She pulled away from him and ran up the stairs into her bedroom. When she opened the drawer to her bedside table she thought she might cry, but instead she smiled. Pulling the chain and the ring from her drawer she called to him.
“Brighton come up here.”
He mounted the stairs and when he reached the top he had tears in his eyes. “You ran away.”
She shook her head. “Not anymore.” Victoria took his hand and opened it, placing the small chain inside his palm.
“What’s this?”
“The promise ring that Levi gave me a week before he died. It’s been sitting in that drawer haunting me. You’re right, he wouldn’t want me to be depressed. He would want me to move on. To be with someone like you. But you have to promise me something.”
Brighton tucked her hair behind her ear with his empty hand. “Anything.”
“Promise you won’t give up on me.”
He looked into her blue eyes for a moment before speaking. “Victoria, I will never give up on you.”
She looked away, “Promises can be broken.”
He squinted at her. “Then don’t make me promise. Let me show you.”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her with his soft lips. His facial hair brushed against her skin and made her tingle. When he pulled away to breathe she held him close. He picked up her legs and wrapped them around his body. He felt so warm, so good. She had waited for this without even realizing it. She was ready. He lowered her slowly onto her bed as his mouth found her ear. “You’re so beautiful.”
The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories Page 305