He began to remove some of the snow gear, his hat and goggles, shaking his head at me and squinting as if I was speaking a foreign language. “Luke is one of my dad’s ranch hands. Our snowmobile broke down on his way back to the farm. He stayed with me the past two nights.”
Collin’s eyes said everything before he ever spoke. He quickly looked over her shoulder to the rest of the search party that was behind him and lowered his voice to just above a whisper, “Cheyenne what the hell were you doing out here at the ranch hand? You know how that makes you look.”
Such a Collin thing to say, always concerned with what other people think. I could hear Luke behind me pulling my luggage out of the bedroom. I noticed his pack was on the couch along with the blanket making it look as though he had slept there. He really thought this out better than I had. Collin searched my eyes for answers that I wouldn’t give him, “It’s fine. No one cares, if it hadn’t been for him I would’ve died Collin. He probably saved my life.”
He rolled his eyes, “Of course he did. I’m just glad you’re okay.” For the first time he acknowledged that Luke was even in the room, “Are these her things?”
Luke just nodded not ever making eye contact with the man who was a stranger to him. A rich stranger who like to tell people what to do, somehow I don’t think that was what Luke had in mind for someone to be worthy of me.
I gave Collin a nasty glare and he quickly understood. He removed his right glove and extended his hand out to Luke. “Hey man, thanks for taking care of my girl. Means a lot.”
Luke nodded again but still didn’t respond. He also didn’t take Collin’s hand. Collin waited for a moment before retracting it and surveying me again. What did he know? Was it written all over my face? I’m in love with the ranch hand tattooed on my forehead would be awesome right about now.
“Well we brought that huge old snow blazer up here from my dad’s place, so there’s plenty of room for you and your friend.” Collin narrowed his deep green eyes at Luke keying in on the word friend.
“That’s great! I mean... we’re just so happy to be out of here. Right Luke?”
My heart stirred in my chest as I waited for his response. “Of course Miss.” And just like that things were back to the way that they were before Luke ever got stuck here, before we had our moment of passion, before I saw man I wanted to be with more than anything.
I didn’t like this plan.
Chapter 5
We rode back with the five other guys the Collin brought with him including his father to rescue me. Most of them weren’t surprised that I had someone with me, everyone was just happy that we were both alive. Apparently the blizzard knocked out several power lines and left other people scattered throughout the forest in even more of the dire situation than we were. “It’s been all over the news you know.” Collin’s father told us. “Two other hikers died in the storm, and at an outdoorsmen retreat up north several people were stuck there and continue to be. I just hope they have enough supplies to get them through the week.”
“It was kind of frightening.” I admitted, “but it was nice to have someone else there with me. When the power went out was the scariest. You know how I hate the dark.”
Collin put his arm around me and held me close, “Oh I know.” He leaned in closer to whisper in my ear, “But we all know what happens in the dark. I would’ve kept you safe.”
I grimaced slightly as he talked to me. It felt unnatural now since being with Luke. This wasn’t where I was supposed to be anymore, I should be back at the cabin falling further and further in love with the scarred cowboy.
Collin’s father began to talk again this time focusing all of his attention on Luke, “I’m sure Cheyenne’s father will be very pleased to hear that you stayed with her and took good care of her when Collin couldn’t.” I could almost feel the jab at Collin at the end of the statement but I wasn’t sure it was palpable for anyone else, except maybe Collin himself. He seemed to take a sudden interest in one of the other men they had brought with them. He struck up conversation about the amount of snow that we’ve had this year.
I listened to the machine moving slowly through the snow focusing all of my attention on how to maintain my secret. Promising Luke that we would do this his way suddenly made me feel uneasy, like I was lying to everyone, including myself. I tried to steal a quick glance in his direction but he kept his head low as if he wasn't paying any attention. It took hours to get back to Collins family farm. When we finally arrived I was glad to see Fred and Linda and my father waiting for me. I sprinted into his arms, my hands barely touching around his wide body. My father was a big man, not portly just large. Standing at 6'3" he just looked like a force to be reckoned with. Everyone was relieved to see that we were safe and I noticed that Fred and Linda fawned all over Luke just as they had with me when I was a child. Their compassion for him was endearing and almost made me love them even more. My father shook hands with the men who came to rescue us and gave Collin a pat on the back before ushering me to our SUV. The warmth of the heater felt good on my cheeks as I unraveled part of my scarf from underneath my North Face. Luke and Fred and Linda sat in the back chattering away about our experience as my father just stared at the road looking stone faced. As per usual I was unable to read him. As we traveled the forty five minutes back to our own compound I waited for my father to say something to me about my experience in the woods with Luke but if he was feeling anything he hid it well and didn't engage in the conversation. Once we were back at the house Linda insisted on making us all good meal and she made her famous bread pudding in order to warm us up. Luke and I sat at the counter in the kitchen focusing all of our attention on her and her concern for us.
"I just can't believe it! When Luke didn't come back we knew something was wrong... But that storm! I'm just so glad y'all are okay."
I swallowed some more of the sugary goodness that was the bread pudding and smiled at her. "Really Linda we were fine. Luke had everything under control. I'm thinking that you've been teaching him how to cook." I gave a sideways glance to Luke but he didn't return the gesture.
Linda continued to bustle around the kitchen busying her hands as she did whenever she was upset. "I had been teaching him a thing or two! Did you show her some of your culinary skills Luke?"
She stopped for only a moment to wipe her hands on her apron and watched us carefully. For the first time since we had returned I think she realized that there was more going on than we were admitting.
He shrugged, "Wasn't anything special. She is giving me more credit than I deserve."
Linda furrowed her brow thoughtfully, showing in the wrinkles around her steely blue eyes. As I examined her closely I realized that she looked more disheveled than usual. Her bun was slightly fallen from her head and there are wisps of hair released from the usual tightness. She must've been so worried about us. While we were out there all that I thought about was Luke and I, but now coming home the realization hit me that they had to deal with the pain of almost losing us. I shook the thought from my brain but a shiver ran down my spine. I had already lost someone, my mother. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy and certainly didn’t want the people I loved most to worry that way about me. I had been selfish. That wasn’t fair. I should apologize to my father. And I should tell him the truth.
"Has daddy already gone back into his office?" I tried to take the attention away from the awkwardness that was stuck between Luke and I. The tension in the room was palpable and Linda wasn't dumb.
Linda grabbed a towel to wipe off of the counter and then brushed off her hands but I knew she was really thinking hard about how to phrase her next question. She wasn’t going to answer me. “Linda?”
She shook her head back and forth as if she was trying to shake the thought of us together out of her brain. "Yes dear?" She smiled at me lovingly trying to mask her concern.
"Has daddy already gone back to work? Do you think he has a little time for me today?"
For the first time
since we had arrived back to the house Luke looked at me with wide eyes. I could tell he was fearful for what my conversation with my father would be like. He'd made me promise to play by his rules and so far I had, but I could tell from his look that he thought I was suddenly going to break them. To be honest, I was considering it.
"I'm sure he has time for you dear. You know he always has time for you." I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms. It was childish. "You and I both know that isn't true. I just thought he would want to spend a little bit more time with me after my experience." I paused, "Sometimes I wish he would pay more attention to me in general." I thought back to the silent car ride with my father and how I could almost feel the heat coming off of his skin because he was angry with me. It didn’t matter that he’d welcome me with such open arms at Collins father's home. Was that all just an act? The show for the other people in our lives? Sometimes I couldn’t tell the difference between what was reality and what was just put on for other people.
"Oh honey you know that's not true. Your father loves you! He just has a tough time of showing it..."
I pushed myself away from the barstool "You've been saying that ever since my mother died. Is there going to be some point in his life when he gets the hell over it, like I have?"
Luke watched me closely, his gray eyes assessing my fear and anger that surrounded my father. Even though I wasn't answering his silly questions of the cabin anymore he was realizing the situation between my father and I was more severe than he had initially understood. He looked back at Linda but moved in front of me almost a protective way and she realized immediately what had gone on.
She sat down the dishtowel gingerly and turned her back on us resting her hands on the cool granite counter shaking her head back and forth. "Cheyenne why do you do these things?"
"Do what? Live my life? Do things that I want to do? Ask questions I’m not supposed to? I’m not a child anymore Linda. You can’t protect me from everything."
She took a deep breath and whispered, “But I can try.” I could hear her breathing heavily but she didn't turn around again.
I stood and Luke turned around and took me by the shoulders walking me slowly out of the kitchen and away from the woman that I had treated as my mother for so long. When I was angry I would hurt people, it was my best defense. Luke hadn't seen me attack Linda in this way and it set him on edge. I could tell he was torn between his affection for her and his newfound relationship with me. He escorted me into the library that sat just off of the living room. I had no idea how he even knew this was here. He walked me over to the couch and sat me down staring at me as if any sudden movements would set me off again, and he didn't want to be the one to feel the pain that I was inflicting with my words.
"Did you have to do that? Linda cares about you. What the hell was that all about anyway?"
I folded my arms across my chest and looked away from him. He didn't know what it was like growing up in this house, he didn't understand. He had someone who cared for him and educated him, here it was just cold all the time. When my mother died it was like all the warmth left this building and it hadn't been a home since. But I didn't know how to explain that to him, I hardly knew how to explain it to myself.
"Don't ask about things you don't understand."
He looked back at me, a slight hurt his eyes but I knew that Luke was just as damaged as I was just in different ways. He could take anything that I shelled out, and take it in stride.
He turned away from me slowly, "Cheyenne I told you I wanted to do this on my terms. It’s pretty clear to me that Linda knows what happened up at the cabin." He shuffled his feet and looked back at me, "She and Fred are partners. It’s only a matter of time before she’ll tell him! And then what? Then I’ll have to tell your father way before I planned on it. We don't even know what this is yet! And there's that creep Collin to consider. As much as I don't want to..."
I stood up quickly and grabbed his face and pulled it to mine kissing him with all of the fierceness and passion I'd felt in the kitchen but pushing it into him in a way that was sensual and exhilarating. I didn’t have to be angry all the time, instead I could feel the world fall away with his touch. Our lips mashing together furthered my passion and Luke reached his callused hand and my blonde hair pulling me even further into him. After a moment we broke away to breathe and I told him, "Then don't."
He looked at me confused. "Then don't what?"
"Then don't consider him. It's just you and me now." I looked around me and saw that the door was ajar. I closed it quickly and strode back over to him. "It's just you and me Luke, alone. Nobody else here." He raised a dark eyebrow at me. "What are you going to do about that?"
He put his hands under my armpits and quickly lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around him. My anger continued to surge through me, but instead of allowing myself to fall into it I used my body as a vessel to push out all of the aggressive energy I had into Luke. He had his hands attached to my jeans pulling my legs up around his hips while cupping my ass in his large hands. Luke was the strong man I was looking for. The hot and sexy cowboy I needed in my life. Collin was just an image of the past and Luke was imprinted on my future.
He laid a sweet trail of kisses down my neck and then nuzzled his face into my blonde hair. He whispered, “We can’t do this right now.”
I pulled back unsure of this new reaction. Why didn’t he want me? “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I untangled myself from his body and slowly dropped to the floor. The bulge I felt between his legs told me he still wanted me physically, but now that he had seen my damaged family was he no longer interested?
He reached for me as I backed away. I was aware of the hurt in his eyes but somehow I became hardened to it, needing to protect my own feelings first.
“I just mean, this isn’t where this should happen.” He paused and bit his juicy lower lip contemplating his next move for a moment. “Cheyenne, this is your father’s house. And although I think you’re all about me being dark and mysterious, which I’m totally into, you should know I really am a gentleman. My upbringing may have been spotty, but I know enough to know this isn’t a good idea.”
My heart sank, I was judging him for trying to be a nice guy. Someone my father would admire. Jesus! How much more wrapped up in my head could I be?
I sighed, “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m just so emotional right now. I wish things were different.”
He moved closer to me, and I leaned against the oversize chair in the corner of the room. His hand brushed the hair out of my face and his touch felt as gentle as a summer breeze. “Don’t ever think I don’t want you.”
I smiled, “Okay.”
“And as for your father and your relationship, I can’t really compare it to my own life, but I know one thing. Dads are supposed to love and honor their daughters above all other things. I think maybe you two should try to work things out with your relationship. It might not be perfect, but it should be something.”
Luke placed a sweet simple kiss on my cheek before exiting the room on his own. I sat down on the leather chair allowing myself to sink further into it engulfed by my emotions. Luke was right, I did need to talk to my father and Collin, and I needed to do both on my own. At some point I needed to start acting like an adult and not allowing others to run my life. The first part of that being telling Collin that he and I were no longer a match. I pulled on my cell phone to text him but I didn’t know what to say. How could so much change in such a small amount of time?
I typed, We need to talk, but saved it to drafts and put my phone in my back pocket. I wasn’t ready to face him just yet. One thing at a time. I walked to my father’s office hoping to find him willing to take break and talk for a bit but when I knocked on the door there was no answer. I pushed open the door slowly and heard the creak of the old hinges. I half expected him to yell at me to go away but when I popped my head around the wooden door there was no one there. I walked across the har
dwood floor and behind his grand desk looking out the bay windows behind it. But I couldn’t see any activity at the barn either, it was clear that after he had brought us back to the ranch he hadn’t stayed around. Typical.
I sat down in his unoccupied office chair and spun around so I could put my feet up on the edge of the bay windows. I pulled out my phone and decided I would have to muster up the courage to break his heart. I sent the text and waited anxiously for him to get back to me. I watched the beautiful glistening snow until I saw a figure cross my field of vision. Luke has a saddle over his shoulder and he was walking slowly through the deep snow. I assumed he was going to the barn to clean it because none of the horses should be out in this bitter cold.
While I watched him with interested eyes my phone buzzed. Let’s talk later tonight.
Well at least that was one thing off my mind.
If my father wasn’t around then perhaps I could spend some time with Luke without anyone knowing. I crept quietly out of the office and made my way down to the mudroom to prepare my body for the cold. Putting on my boots and grabbing a scarf for my neck I knew that I was short on time. I finished preparing for the weather and made sure that I had my phone in my pocket just in case my father called wondering where I was. The sun was beginning to go down in the evening light shone across the snow that was still untouched in front of our property. I followed Luke’s footsteps to the front of the barn and tried to not let my presence be known as a quietly slipped in.
Chapter 6
The barn was hot and humid, it was clear that Luke had turned on the heaters when he entered and I quickly took off my scarf and coat. I dropped them in a pile of hay near the doors. I looked around for signs of him but all that I heard was silence. Moving over to one of the stalls I watched as a chestnut horse made her way over to me. Shimmer greeted me by nuzzling my face. She always knew how to make me feel better in my times of need.
“Where is he girl?” I rubbed the bridge of her long face back and forth sending calming waves through me.
The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories Page 310