After a few minutes he stepped back and pulled up his pants.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” I said wiping my tears. He smiled as he wiped a single tear from my cheek.
Slowly he wrapped his belt around him. Shaking his head he looked down at the buckle to complete the task, “Cheyenne how do you get me in so much trouble?”
I made a face, “Me? You were the one who showed up here today. After months! Six fucking months Luke! What the hell have you been doing? Who have you been doing?”
He stepped back with his hands up as if to say he was going to surrender, “Now just wait a second here... Who’s to say I was with anyone? Not to mention I figured your new husband Collin would be hanging around here helping you pick out staff.”
I scowled at him, “You know that’s not true. You know how things ended between us. I haven’t even talked to him in months. He moved to Florida for God sakes! And I know he met some pretty little thing down there and is living happily ever after, while I’m stuck here waiting for you to show up.”
I hopped off the windowsill and brushed past him.
“What?”
I turned on him anger now fueling my attack. “You heard me. I couldn’t leave this place without knowing if you were ever going to come back or not. I couldn’t risk it.”
“Risk what?”
“My heart.” I shook my head sadly, “Luke when you left you took my heart with you, it’s taken me this whole time to get it back. But when you walked into the bar the other night I realized that a piece of it is still missing. It’s not fair that you have control over me like that. But then you don’t want to do anything with that.”
He looked at me dumbfounded. “When did I ever say I didn’t want anything to do with your heart? Didn’t I just come in here and apologize? Tell you how wrong I was?”
I threw my hands up in the air, “Then why did you leave?” I knew that my eyes were pleading for answers. I had gone over the situation a thousand times in my head. The note had been ruined by my tears but I still kept it. We had a plan, and it fell apart the second he walked out the door.
He ran his fingers through his dark hair and when he looked back up at me I realized that there were a few new wrinkles near his eyes that hadn’t been there last winter. Maybe he had felt some of the pain that I had endured during our time apart. He sighed, “I don’t know Cheyenne. I didn’t feel like I was good enough. Like maybe your father was right. I didn’t know if it would ever work out between us. It didn’t seem possible, to find love like this. It’s for movies! Not real life.”
“Then why the hell are you back?”
“Because I missed you damn’t! Because every night I went to sleep wondering what you were dreaming of. Because every day when I woke up I was desperate to see you lying in the bed next to me. Because I want to share my life with you and because I was an idiot!”
I was speechless. All those moments I had wondered what he had done with his life to make mine so miserable when I had done the same to him. He genuinely missed me. For a moment I thought that our realization that we loved each other would be enough to survive.
I spoke softly, “So what do you want to do Luke? How do we go from here?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know. I think we try. You have a nice place here, but it’s a little big. Maybe you should get a roommate.”
I laughed, “A roommate eh? I already have one, you know. Jade is pretty great.”
He frowned, “You two need a man around the house.”
“Oh really, well I mean I can only think of a couple guys that I know. There is one that bought me a bunch of drinks at the bar the other night...” I tried to finish my joke but Luke’s lips were already on mine stunning me into silence.
“I don’t want to hear about your other guys,” he growled.
“Done. And I don’t want to know anything about your escapades while you were away. Agreed?”
He nodded. “I missed everything about you.” He tangled his fingers in my hair wrapping a strand around his pointer finger.
“That makes two of us.”
We stood for a moment in silence our foreheads touching, just enjoying happiness of being together again. We pulled apart at the same time and he started walking out the door. My misery returned in an instant. “Where are you going?”
He turned around with his hand on the door frame, “Well if I’m going to live here I better get my stuff.”
I smiled allowing my fears to fall away. “Still have that old knapsack?”
He laughed, “Of course. Every time I look at it I think about our time in the cabin, and how it changed my life.” He paused, “How you changed my life.”
~~~
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1
December, 2011
His lips brushed against my collarbone and I inhaled the sweet smell of his shampoo. Blake always smelled amazing, and he always felt like home. His mouth continued to move down over my skin, his lips barely touching the flesh of my breasts. I knew I wasn't supposed to be here—I was supposed to be at home. I promised my mother that the minute I got back in town from school I would go straight to their house, but I didn't. I was a rebel; Blake made me that way. I dragged my fingers back and forth along the satiny sheets and reveled in his touch. His lips trailed down my skin and he left sweet kisses along my stomach. As he reached my underwear he slowly tugged them down, watching me hungrily with his dark blue eyes. He was waiting for a reaction, but I wouldn't give him one yet. I lay naked against the white sheets, my tanned body positioned so that that he knew he could have all of me. I was exposed.
“You should come back from school more often.” He murmured into the flesh of my upper thigh.
“Well if you treated me like this every time I came home...” I countered sarcastically.
He smiled as he moved back up over my body, placing a hand on either side of me; like he owned me. There was no escape from Blake Finnegan.
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