by Norah Hess
She sat on, her hands clenched in her lap, her eyes dark with the pain that gripped her like a vise. How could she not have realised, or at least suspected, that Jules had no intention of marrying her? She felt like a complete fool.
Had Nina felt that way when she was told to move on, that she was no longer wanted? And would that happen to her someday?
It would not, Willow determined. She wasn't going to wait around for it to happen. She would leave his house before he told her to. But where would she go? Although she had saved all her wages, she hadn't been working long enough to set aside all that much.
When she heard Jules's bedroom door close, she stood up and slipped quietly into the house and on into the room she shared with her mother. When she closed the door, she drew the bolt that locked it. When she didn't join Jules, he might come looking for her, and she couldn't bear making love with him, knowing now that he didn't have any intention of ever marrying her. As it was, she felt cheap, and if she continued to share his bed, she would feel like a paid whore.
Mentally fatigued and exhausted in spirit, Willow couldn't relax in her narrow bed. Her mind kept pondering one question—where to go, where to go?
She discarded several ideas before deciding that she and her mother should go to El Paso. She would have a better chance of earning a living in a town than she would looking for employment at some ranch as a housekeeper. Most ranchers had wives to care for their homes.
That decision made, Willow finally began to relax and was about to fall asleep when she heard the door knob rattle. She became instantly alert. Would Jules leave when he found the door closed against him?
Her question was answered when she heard him ask softly, "Are you asleep, Willow?"
Willow lay quietly, barely breathing, afraid he would waken her mother. But Ruth had awakened and Willow held her breath when she heard Ruth get out of bed and walk to the door. "She's asleep, Jules. Can I do anything for you?"
There was silence on the other side of the door for a moment, and then Jules answered, "It's not that important, Ruth. I just wanted to tell her that Logan and I are riding out in the morning to hunt mustangs up in the high country and that we may be gone for a couple days."
"I'll tell her, Jules. You be careful chasing those wild ones."
When Willow heard Jules's door close, tears slipped down her cheeks. A chapter in her life was closed.
Chapter Thirteen
The next morning at the first gray light of dawn, Willow awakened to the click of Jules closing his bedroom door. She tensed when she heard him stop at her door. Was he going to knock? She couldn't pretend to be sleeping again. He would know better.
She relaxed when he walked on down the hall, his footsteps fading as he entered the kitchen, then closed that door behind him. She rose and parted the drapes a crack so that she could see him walk past her window. It would be the last time she would ever see him.
Before he walked out of sight, Jules paused and looked back at the house. When he moved on after a moment, Willow crawled back into bed, her throat aching from the tears lodged there. She mustn't cry and wake her mother. Ruth would insist on knowing the cause of her tears, and Willow was too ashamed to tell her that the faith she had put in Jules had turned to bitter disillusionment.
As Willow lay staring at the ceiling, she heard the tapping of Jess's cane as she walked to the kitchen. Shortly after that, she heard Jules and Logan ride out. She rose, quietly got dressed and let herself out of the room, leaving Ruth to sleep on.
Jess had just finished building a fire in the range and was filling the coffee pot with water when Willow entered the kitchen. The old woman looked up. Seeing the desolation in the younger woman's eyes, she said, "Sit down, Willow. I think we need to talk."
"About what, Aunt Jess?" Willow tried to speak calmly as she sat down at the table. "About whatever it is that is bothering you."
"What makes you think something is bothering me?"
"A couple of things," Jess answered as she spooned coffee into the pot. "There's the strained look on your face, and the fact that you didn't get up to see Jules off."
Willow made no answer as she avoided the old lady's eyes.
Jess waited a few moments and then asked bluntly, "You overheard me and Jules talking last night, didn't you?"
A sigh feathering through her lips, Willow looked at Jess and nodded.
"I'm sorry, girl. I'm ashamed of my nephew, and also surprised at his refusing to marry you. He cares deeply for you. Where he gets his crazy ideas about marriage, I have no idea. His mother and father had a good, loving relationship, as did his grandparents. It must come from that rowdy bunch he hangs around with in town. They'll never settle down either." After a few minutes had passed, Willow said, "I'm going to have to leave here. You know that, Aunt Jess."
"I know, but where will you go? You can't go back to your father's ranch."
"No. That would be the last place I would go to. I thought maybe El Paso. I should be able to find some kind of work there."
"I don't know about that. According to what I've heard, it's a pretty rough place for a single woman to find work. Probably the only employment you could find would be serving drinks to drunks in some saloon."
"I was thinking of housekeeping work."
"I don't know about that either. Any husband who could afford that luxury for his wife would hire a young Mexican girl. They work dirt-cheap. Sometimes for only room and board. You've got to make enough to provide a home for your mother also."
Willow dropped her head in her hands and whispered despairingly, "I don't know what to do. I can't go home and I can't stay here."
The aroma of brewed coffee filled the room and Jess stood up and brought the pot to the table. As she filled the two cups sitting there, she said, "I have an idea that will be perfect for you and Ruth."
"You do?" Willow reached for the small pitcher of milk. Jess returned the pot to the stove and sat back down. "Remember me telling you about my small ranch?" Willow nodded. "Well, it's the perfect place for you and Ruth to live."
"But Aunt Jess, I couldn't afford to pay you rent. Besides, Jules would soon find out where I'd gone. I don't want him to know where I am. I'm afraid I'd let him talk me into returning home with him. I'd hate myself then."
"There's two ways of looking at it, Willow. First off, my place is ten miles on the other side of town and it would never enter his mind that you would be there. Second, his pride will be crushed when he learns you've left him. He may become angry and not care where you are."
"That last is what I hope happens. But, Aunt Jess, I can't sponge off you like that."
"You wouldn't be doing that. A few weeks back I received a letter from the Mexican couple who have been caring for the ranch the past ten years or so. They are getting up in years now and want to retire and return to Mexico. I've been racking my brain, trying to think who could replace them. You are the perfect one to do that. Ruth is daily becoming stronger and will be able to take care of the house and do the cooking, freeing you to run the ranch, which won't be difficult to do. I only run about three hundred head. A couple men have been tending to them, but I don't think they've been doing a good job of it lately. I lost twenty-five longhorns last winter. That wouldn't have happened if the men had got off their lazy rumps and driven the cattle in close to the ranch so that they could have been fed some hay. I'm thinkin' that they don't pay any attention to old Jose anymore.
"If you take me up on my offer and drive the herd to market this fall, I'll split the profit with you. How does that sound?"
"It sounds like I must be dreaming," Willow exclaimed, relief in her voice. "One thing I'm really versed in is running a ranch. I don't mean to brag, but I think I know every aspect of the business. My father had me running cattle when I was no more than ten years old."
"All right, that's settled then. I think you should start getting ready right now and leave within the hour. I'll have Rooster hitch up the wagon for Ruth to travel in.
She's not quite strong enough yet to make the trip on horseback. Go wake her up and tell her whatever you want to about why you're moving. While you do that, I'll start breakfast," Jess said. Then she went outside and gave a shrill whistle. When Rooster came to the bunkhouse door, she motioned him to come to the house.
"Is something wrong with Ruth?" Rooster asked when he came hurrying into the kitchen.
"No, nothing is wrong with Ruth," Jess said impatiently. "She and Willow are moving."
"Moving?" Rooster asked, confusion on his face. "Moving where, and why?"
"Willow doesn't want this to get out, so keep your lip buttoned. They're going to my ranch. Willow is going to run it for me."
"But who's gonna look after Ruth while Willow is out chasm' cattle? In fact, who is gonna look after both of them? What if a bunch of outlaws come out of the badlands and catch them alone? They'd be helpless."
"Are you finished?" Jess threw down the knife she had been using to slice bacon. "I agree, you've given me some good arguments. I guess there's only one thing to do. You'll have to go with them."
The agitation on Rooster's face changed swiftly. His brow smoothed out and his lips spread in a wide, pleased smile. "I think that's a real good decision you've just made, Miss Jess."
"Hah!" Jess snorted. "As if you didn't have that in mind all along."
"No, I didn't. It was just—"
"Oh, shut your mouth and go hitch up the wagon. Come back to the house then and eat breakfast. Willow wants to get going right away."
Rooster had no sooner left than Willow came into the kitchen, ushering a bewildered Ruth in front of her. "Jess," Ruth said as she sat down at the table, "I don't understand why Willow wants to up and leave this lovely house—leave the good friends we've made here."
"Ma, I've explained to you why. We'll have our own home to Eve in, and I'll be making higher wages."
"But we'll be alone. Who is going to take care of us? What if Otto finds us?"
Jess slid Ruth a sly look. "Rooster will be with you. He'll take real good care of you and Willow."
When Ruth's face lit up and she exclaimed, "That's nice," Jess winked at Willow. Both were aware of the bond that was developing between the dainty little woman and the rough cowhand. Neither had any doubt that if necessary, Rooster would fight to the death, protecting Ruth.
Everything moved swiftly then. Willow packed her and Ruth's belongings while Jess finished making breakfast. Rooster pulled up in the wagon when she was putting it on the table.
The early morning meal was eaten in short order with little being said by anyone. Each one was thinking of what lay ahead. It was plain to see by the soft looks exchanged between Ruth and Rooster that they were looking forward to the time they could spend together on the trail.
Jess's face was sad as she thought how she was going to miss this young woman, whom she would love to have as a daughter.
A mixture of thoughts was running through Willow's mind. There was excitement at the idea of running a ranch all on her own, making decisions, telling the men what to do. But there was also despair at leaving behind the man to whom she had given her whole being, the man who had only given her a fraction of himself She couldn't believe that she had been such a fool. She had chosen to ignore the fact that Jules had never spoken of love although he had said many times that he would never tire of making love to her. And why hadn't she noticed that he never spoke of the children he hoped they would have?
Willow became aware that Rooster had scraped his chair away from the table and was helping Ruth to her feet. It was time to go. Time to start the journey to a new life.
Jess followed them outside, and after Ruth thanked her for her kindness, for helping to nurse her back to health, Rooster took her by the waist and lifted her onto the wagon seat.
It was time for Jess and Willow to say good-bye.
Words weren't necessary between the two women who had grown so close. Everything was said in eyes that glimmered with unshed tears.
"I'll send Logan to the ranch once a month to see how everything is going along for you," Jess said softly. "If you should need help of any kind, there's always a Mexican lad hanging around the stables. He can bring me a letter."
They gripped hands a moment, and then Rooster boosted Willow onto the wagon seat, next to her mother. He climbed up on the other side of Ruth, picked up the reins and released the brake. The horses moved out and Jess watched the wagon until it disappeared over the top of a knoll.
Willow dabbed at her wet eyes and straightened her back as she vowed never to look back again. Only heartache lay there, and she could never have a new beginning with that yoke on her shoulders.
When Ruth took her hand, squeezing it as she exclaimed softly, "Isn't it a glorious morning, Willow?" she agreed that it was and, relaxing her body, she sat back and looked over the prairie through her mother's eyes.
The sun was higher now and was beginning to burn off the mists that hovered in low spots between the knolls stretching ahead of them. The grass was green and shiny from being bathed in dew all night. Sparsely scattered across the range were clumps of ground cherry, the yellow bell-shaped flowers glistening under the early-morning sun.
Three hours later, as they skirted a small cow town that had no name, the whole land shimmered with heat as the wagon bounced along. Around noon Rooster spotted a line of birch in the distance, and he turned the team in that direction. Before long, he had located a wide, shallow stream moving slowly over gravel and smooth stone. Jumping from the wagon, he lifted Ruth to the ground and led her to a smooth rock of chair height. "Sit here in the shade and cool off," he said, smiling down at her. "I'm gonna unhitch the horses now and let them have a drink of water."
While Rooster tended to the team, Willow spread a blanket on the ground a few feet from where Ruth perched on the rock. "Are you hungry, Ma?" she asked as she took from the wagon the basket Jess had put their lunch in.
"Yes, I am. It must be the fresh air that has whetted my appetite."
By the time Rooster led the horses back from the stream, Willow had laid out on the blanket four beef sandwiches and some apples.
With much talk and laughter the meal was eaten, and then Willow and Ruth excused themselves to walk farther into the birches. When they returned they found that Rooster had rehitched the team and was ready to head out again.
They had traveled another two or three miles when they began seeing groups of cattle grazing in the lush grass. "I wonder if they belong to Miss Jess," Rooster said. "I can't read the brand from here."
"I can't either," Willow said. Then a few minutes later, Willow said, pointing, "I think I see a bunch of buildings up past the foothills south of us. What do you think?"
Rooster squinted his eyes in the direction Willow had indicated. "By golly, I think you're right," he exclaimed. "I can make out what looks like a barn." Turning the team's heads and slapping the reins on their rumps, he said, "Let's go take a look."
When the horses entered the shady foothills and began to climb, the air became blessedly cooler. "I pray this is Miss Jess's place," Ruth said, untying her bonnet strings and taking it off her head. "Don't the pines smell good, Willow?"
"They do indeed, Ma," Willow agreed, drawing long breaths of pine-laden air into her lungs. "I've got my fingers crossed that this will be our new home."
"We'll soon find out," Rooster said when the narrow road took them around a bend and several buildings lay before them.
A sturdy, rambling adobe house stood in the forefront of the outbuildings that stood higher up the mountain. The house was surrounded on three sides by pines that would cut off the cold wind in the winter. It was smaller than the Asher home, but was built in much the same manner, with a long veranda and a small patio to one side. Willow imagined that it led off the kitchen.
Bright flowers grew in profusion in the yard and in wooden boxes on the veranda, competing with hanging pots of vines and cascading petunias. A red flowering bougainvillea, with a tr
unk the size of a two-year-old sapling, had grown up the chimney at the side of the house and spread its color across the veranda roof, then spilled down the other side.
"Isn't it delightful?" Ruth clasped her hands in the folds of her dress. "I would be happy to live here the rest of my life."
"Let's find out first if this is Aunt Jess's place," Willow cautioned, as she climbed over the wagon wheel to the ground. She started walking along a gravel path and paused when the veranda door opened and an elderly Mexican woman stepped outside.
"Can I help you, seňorita?" she asked with a smile.
"I hope so," Willow said, smiling back. "My companions and I are wondering if this place belongs to Miss Jess Miles."
"Si." The woman nodded, still smiling. "Are you friends of Miss Jess?"
"Yes, we are. She has sent you a letter." Willow took a folded piece of paper from her shirt pocket. "Can you read English?"
"A little, but not very fast." The woman took the letter from Willow.
Willow watched her slowly read the words on the paper. When she suddenly smiled, Willow suspected that she had come to the part that said Willow would be taking over the running of the ranch.
"This is good." Willow received another wide smile when the woman lifted her eyes from the letter. "I am Sofia Salazar. My husband and I are anxious to return to Mexico to live out our old age." She motioned to Ruth and Rooster. "All of you come inside and have a glass of cold buttermilk while I set out something for you to eat. You must be very tired and hungry, having traveled so far."
Sofia led them through the patio and into the kitchen Willow had suspected was there. The table, chairs and cupboards in the room were old, but still sturdy and kept in perfect condition. A bright red cloth covered the table, and a potted plant of small yellow peppers had been placed in its center.
There were pots of red geraniums on the wide window sill, which faced out onto the patio. The pots and pans hanging on the wall beside a black range were bright from being scoured after each use.