Evernight Publishing
www.evernightpublishing.com
Copyright© 2012 Nikki Prince
ISBN: 978-1-77130-223-4
Cover Artist: Sour Cherry Designs
Editor: JS Cook
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.
This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
DEDICATION
As always I'd like to thank God for blessing me with the ability to spin a tale. Secondly I'd like to thank my father who sat with me in the waiting room while my husband was having surgery and hashed over story ideas with me. He's a lover of all types of books and is the reason my love for romances began when I was the ripe old age of 12 and found a Johanna Lindsey western romance on his dresser. Thank you dad, I love you. I also want to thank my wonderful critique partner Melissa L. from Romcritters on yahoo for helping me to fix the kinks in this story. Love you chica, you rock in so many ways. As always to those authors who've taken me under their wings...thank you, you're priceless. Thank you as always to my readership, you have made my dream come true and given me reasons to continue writing.
ON ANGEL’S WINGS
Nikki Prince
Copyright © 2012
Chapter One
It was two days before Christmas; they'd just come from eating out at their favorite family restaurant and were now heading towards their next destination. Alexa reached for six-year-old Tessa's hand and squeezed gently. Her daughter held on tight to her hand and skipped along the sidewalk. Every time she looked at Tessa, she was amazed. There was nothing like being a mother. Other than being married to Terrance, nothing made her happier.
“Momma, can we get a really big tree?”
“How big are you talking, T?” She winked over at Terrance and turned back to Tessa.
“I want a tree as big as our house is Momma, all the way up to the sky.” Tessa was so animated, Terrance laughed and she couldn't help laughing as well.
“Puddin’, we can't. We don't have a house that big,” Terrance said in his deep and comforting daddy voice, that Alexa loved to hear. She watched as his hand stroked lightly over Tessa’s head.
“Well can we get one almost as big?” Tessa's grin was missing a few teeth.
“We'll find the most perfect tree, Tessa, and you'll get to help mommy and I decorate it.”
“Yay! Can I put the angel on the tree, puhlease?” Tessa squealed and Alexa squeezed her hand once more as she led her to their parked SUV.
“That will be your very special job this year, T. You can put the angel on for us. Come on, poppet, let's get to the car and head out to pick out our tree and then we'll get the best decorations ever,” Alexa said.
At their vehicle, Terrance settled Tessa in her booster seat and placed the seatbelt around her, locking it in place as Alexa got in the front passenger’s side. She put on her seatbelt and laughed as Terrance raspberried both of Tessa’s cheeks. Terrance closed the door then got in the driver’s seat, buckling in and starting the car. He looked over at Alexa and blew a kiss. She knew she was grinning like a silly teenager as she caught the blown kiss then placed it over her heart.
“I love you,” Terrance said.
“I love you too, Terry.”
They laughed in unison when Tessa asked, “What about me?” Then they both told her they loved her, and she clapped her hands happily and went back to playing with the teddy bear she'd appropriately called ‘Teddy.’ She felt Terrance's fingers stroke through her hair, and she turned back to him with a smile. She blew a kiss back at him, and he then pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards the edge of town to the Christmas tree stand. It was a beautiful evening. She looked out the passenger window at the snow covering the ground, the Christmas lights twinkling on business and homes. Christmas cheer and splendor just covered the whole town and gave off such a beautiful vibe that one couldn't help but be in the Christmas spirit.
Terrance drove through the windy road and the three of them sang filling the car with the joy only old-fashioned Christmas Carols could bring. It was a family tradition for them to sing carols as they made their way to pick up the tree along with the decorations. It was a habit that they'd continue even after all the shopping and grabbing gifts and decorations. She'd just turned in her seat and looked back at Tessa who was strapped in her seat in the back. They were singing the Christmas carol, We Wish You a Merry Christmas and had just gotten to the chorus. Everyone's voice was filled with such jubilation.
The next thing she heard was Terrance yelling out and turning back to see him swerving on the snow laden road to avoid hitting a deer that had crossed their path. Her eyes connected with the fear-filled look in the deer's eyes. In slow motion, she turned to look back at Tessa as she reached back, trying to shield her. Tessa was screaming out for her, and she couldn't get to her. Frantically, she tried undoing her seatbelt. She had to get to Tessa. Glass was the next thing she remembered. Big jagged pieces cutting at her flesh as they hit a large tree. Then she heard Tessa moaning and then silence.
“Shit!”
Gasping Alexa sat up in her bed, drenched with sweat, and gripping the covers tightly as she tried to calm herself. Her chest rose and fell quickly, and her hair was plastered to her face, proof of the terror she'd just undergone. The dream was so real she could still hear Terrance and Tessa, and she could feel the cut of the glass. Then her eyes focused and she realized she was alive, and they were very much dead. They had been for the past five years. Sobbing, she covered her face with her hands as reality hit her dead on. What hurt the most besides being the one to survive was she’d escaped without a scratch. She was unscathed, with no scars of any kind other than being in a coma for a few months. She’d awakened and was told soon after that her family had died.
Every Christmas it was the same. She had to pretend that she was happy and that everything was ok. She had to walk around and act like nothing was wrong, that things were beautiful when they weren’t. When she saw her in-laws, she had to be cheerful and the same thing went for the neighbors if by the off chance she saw them. Everything about Christmas reminded her of what she'd lost and what she’d never regain.
No one understood that celebrating that holiday made her feel like she was betraying their memories. They were dead and gone, and she needed to honor them by being diligent. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of Tessa and Terrance and once again relived her loss. It was going to be a long day. Sighing, she turned over in the bed and hugged Terry's pillow and Tessa's ‘Teddy’, as the tears continued to fall.
When the tears finally stopped falling, she got up, showered, and dressed for the day. It was sad really, and she knew it, but ever since that day, she hadn't been able to be around a lot of people. So she hid herself away at home, doing data entry for several area hospitals. But before she could get any work done, she had to make a trip into town to visit with her counselor. She hated having to see one, but it was a requirement in order to keep the house that she lived in.
Her in-laws had made it a requirement for her to have once-a-month sessions with a counselor in order for her to be able to stay in the house. They allowed their son and his new wife to stay in the house, but they hadn’t signed it over fully to them. Alexa had told Terrance that his mother and father were only doing that to monitor them. Of course, he’d argued, saying they’d do it soon. Soon never came. She expected that they felt some sort of pity
for her as they allowed her to continue to live there.
Glancing at her watch, she gasped and ran out of the room, grabbing her keys that hung by the front door. If she waited any longer, she'd be late, if she took some side streets she could shave off a bit of time to make it there faster with a few minutes to spare.
She pulled the car to a stop and got out, locking it, and made her way into the small clinic and to the reception desk. She signed in and sat down, waiting to be called back. Five minutes later, Dr. Fenton stood at the door and called her name.
Standing, Alexa followed the older woman to her office. God, she hated to be here. All she wanted to do was go about her business. She didn't need a reminder about how life would get better. If it got better, she wanted it to get that way on her own terms. She wanted things to work out, because she’d made it happen, not because she was forced to make it happen.
Why they couldn’t just leave her alone was beyond her. She settled in her usual spot next to the desk and folded her hands in her lap, waiting for the counselor to get settled. She handed her a paper cup filled with water and the tissues as was customary. Taking the items from her, Alexa smiled and gave her thanks. All of this was very routine, and she found herself wishing for something more.
“So, Alexa, tell me how you've been feeling as we get closer to Christmas?”
“I feel like I do every year, Dr. Fenton.” Well that wasn’t exactly true. She was sad, yes, but at the same time she wanted to move on. That alone made her feel extremely guilty.
“Well let's talk about it.”
Alexa sighed and looked at the counselor for a few seconds before speaking again. “We’ve done this for the past few years. You know how I am feeling. I miss Terrance and Tessa. I can’t sleep at night, and when I do, I wake up from the most god awful dreams.”
The blonde just sat there with her pad and pencil, scribbling notes that Alexa would never see. She truly didn't have an issue with the doctor. After all, she was just doing her job. When the counselor looked at her over the rim of her glasses, she sighed and began reciting how she felt just as she had for the past few years.
“Do you still feel like you should have died and not them?”
God, that was a painful question to hear, let alone to answer. She flinched and looked away, taking some time to compose herself. Of course, the counselor waited patiently for her to answer. Finally, when she felt she could answer without being snippy, she looked at the other woman.
“To be honest, I'd have to say the times where I feel like it should have been me are getting few and far between.” She wouldn't cry. “Then when I don't feel bad, it feels like a betrayal of their memory. But then I have the feeling that I should let go, and it makes me feel worse. Why should I be happy if they’re gone?”
Dr. Fenton nodded and continued to write down some notes. “Well, the fact that it is getting easier to deal with is a good thing, Alexa. This isn’t ever going to be something you just get over. However, you can make it manageable. Do you know what I mean? As for why should you be happy? Because everyone deserves happiness, and I don’t think that Terrance would begrudge you that. So think on that.”
“I’m managing,” she said quietly. It hurt to talk, and her throat felt so parched. She could see Tessa with her beautiful green eyes, latte colored skin and curly fine auburn hair with its blond highlights. She'd been so much like her father and was gone much too soon. She realized that she had zoned out when the counselor cleared her throat. It was hard to think that the other woman could be right about Terrance wanting her to be happy. Yet at the same time, it made her breathe a bit easier.
“As I was saying, Alexa, I need you to continue to read the books I gave you so that we can continue to have progress. You're doing so much better than before. I like the progress that I see in you. I will see you back here next month for our meeting after the holidays.”
Standing, Alexa held out her hand to the other woman and smiled as she shook her hand. She had to stop herself from releasing a sigh of relief.
“Thank you, Dr. Fenton. I'll see you next month.” The doctor released her hand, and Alexa turned and left the office. For her, this was the best part of the session, the ending. Fabulous doctor, but once more, she felt as if she didn't need this kind of help. She had to admit it felt good to say out loud that she’d been thinking about being happy, with someone else besides Terrance.
Finally back in her car, she put the key in the ignition and then pressed her head against the steering wheel. She just bawled right there in the parking lot. She cried until the tears no longer came and then she sat up, wiped her face with a tissue and then blew her nose and prepared to drive home.
She groaned as she heard her name called just as she was about to turn the key into the ignition. She tried to ignore it, but the female voice only became more urgent. If only she’d been a little quicker, she’d have gotten away and not have to talk.
“Alexa Gray! It's been a long time. Where've you been hiding?” Alexa felt her shoulders tense, as she knew she couldn't get away. She turned slowly, smiled politely, and looked at the blue haired older neighbor, Betty Cranston. Betty was the closest neighbor to her, though their houses were a mile apart. The great thing about living in the country for someone who didn't wish to be bothered was the fact that you were miles apart from others. The problem came when one had to go to town, like she'd had to today.
“Hello, Ms. Betty. I've just been a bit busy, with work and all.”
“Honey, you should come over sometime. Me and the Mister would love to have you over again for dinner like we used to.” This was why she avoided going out. It was days like this that made it hard for her. It wasn't the older woman’s fault that she felt suffocated when others were around.
“Perhaps, sometime I will, Ms. Betty. But I am too busy at the moment to do so. I appreciate you asking me.”
“Well I have a jar of that apple butter that you and Tessa...liked so well.” Then Betty covered her mouth and gasped. “Oh, honey, I am so sorry.” Alexa knew she hadn't meant it, but it still hurt. The look of horror on Ms. Betty’s face said it all, and she knew it had to mirror her own.
“II have to go now. Bye, Ms. Betty.” She turned and started the car, Ms. Betty moved out of the way as quickly as she could while Alexa backed up and drove away. When she reached her house, she ran to her door, fumbling with the keys. Once she got it open, she entered quickly, shut the door, leaned against it, and cried until the well ran dry for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.
***
Angelo gazed at the weeping woman and wished for the millionth time that he could embrace her. She needed someone who'd hold her, show her that she was loved, and yes, worthy to be loved. No one else could do that but him. He looked over at Michael. He knew that it was asking a bit much, but he was hoping that Michael would tell him good news. That the one in charge had finally agreed to him going down to intervene in Alexa’s life.
“First, I must ask, Angelo, what is it that you think you can do for her?” The other angel stood next to Angelo as they looked down at Alexa.
“She needs me, Michael.”
“You’ve always been there for her as a guardian. Why should you be allowed to go and see her?”
“My heart has always been laid bare, and it is known to all about how I feel. But if you must know, I love her. The feelings I have for her have evolved. Her pain is my pain. I want to show her she can go on. That the tragedy doesn't have to be forgotten, but it can be managed. Her laughter and joy are gone. When was the last time we saw her smile?”
“Things that happen to them are supposed to be trials.”
“Yes, I know. Now tell me the decision. Can I go or not?” He didn't want to sound so hurried but he was. He needed to get to Alexa.
Michael nodded and before he answered, he looked back down at Alexa, watching as the woman finally moved from the doorway and further into her home. He then turned away from the vision with his hands claspe
d behind his back, looking like someone deep in thought.
“Well?” The other angel sighed, his blue eyes filled with mirth.
“You're allowed to go.” Angelo moved as if to leave, stopping as he heard Michael’s next statement.
“There are some conditions, Angelo.”
“What are the conditions?” He held his breath as he waited for a response.
“First, I have to know why you are so eager to rush to her side. There are consequences in this life, even for us! You can't go down there, change someone's way of thinking and not be bound by the laws. There is also the issue of time running differently there.” Angelo felt his heart rate pick up as he thought about the choice he needed to make. Should he do it? Was it truly worth it? Or should he walk away and forget about helping her? His gaze drifted back towards Alexa. The hurt on her face and the pain he felt radiating from her and into him was too much. Yes. She was worth it. Without any doubt left in his heart, he looked at Michael.
"I’ll do it. I am willing to rush to her side because she's worth the risk, Michael."
"You're telling me she is worth life as you know it? One, you'll not be allowed to change anything that goes on in her life. Any decision she makes has to be made because it is her will." Michael paused and looked at him, his mouth opened and closed.
"Is that all, Michael? I sense there is something you're not telling me."
"No, it's not all. The consequence for you getting to go to her is that you will not have any memory of who and what you are. That is until your mission is complete."
"You mean I won't remember that I am an angel?"
"Exactly. So you need to think of the consequences before you go ahead and do this."
"She's important. I'm doing this."
"You run the threat of losing it all. You could lose her right along with being an angel."
On Angel's Wings Page 1