I leaned into his back, circling my arms around his chest while my cheek rested on his back. I loved how he felt under my palms.
“Maybe a text or a message. I have that international app. I can give you my username.” I had added it to my phone just for him.
He ran the shampoo through his hair. “I’ll see what I can do.”
His hands landed on top of mine. He rotated to rinse the shampoo. We were chest to chest. My nipples grazed the indentations of his muscles. My lips pointed toward his. He brushed his wet lips over mine. I smiled.
“I can’t wait for you to get back.”
He was quiet.
He turned me around and soaped my back with body wash. When we were finished rinsing off, Vaughn reached for the towels, wrapping me in a spiral before drying his hair and stepping from the shower.
We both dressed and he picked up the few things he had brought with him last night.
“I guess you’ll have to get to know Preston another time,” I mused.
“I guess so.” He tucked his wallet into his back pocket and unplugged his phone from the charger.
“Maybe when you get back we can do a different double date. A movie? Or one of the shows that are coming up for the holidays?”
“Maybe.” He walked past me and pulled his jacket from the hook on the back of the door.
The charge between us had changed. I couldn’t explain it, but it seemed as if Vaughn was so distracted from his travel plans he couldn’t focus. As soon as the shower sex was over, he was on a clearly distinct mission to collect his belongings. I didn’t want to believe it was because I told him I loved him. He already knew—saying it out loud only made it official.
“When is your flight?” I sat on the bed and watched him, confused by how broody he had become.
“Three hours. I have to pack.”
“At least you had a shower,” I teased.
He sighed. “Yeah.” He walked toward the bed. “I have to get going.”
“I could ride with you. Help you pack? Or drop you off at the airport?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I have to run by the office first and pick up files. I don’t really have time.”
“I could see your office then.”
“No, Em.”
I felt the disappointment sink in. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t know how to stall him without coming across as immature. I should be able to handle this. It was a business trip. When he went to Germany for a week things weren’t this serious between us. We had one date. We were way past that point now.
The last months had been everything I wanted in a relationship. Knowing there was going to be an interruption in that made me nervous. It shouldn’t. I should have more confidence in him. In us.
I pulled my shoulders back.
“I hope you have fun wherever you go.” I plastered on a fake smile.
“Thanks.” He leaned down to kiss me. “Bye, Emily.”
He backed up toward the door, pausing for a second. I thought he was going to say something, but he turned and was gone.
I fell on the bed, trying not to feel sad. He would be back soon, I told myself. And between now and then I had plenty to keep me busy. I had more than most people. I had a huge wrongful termination case. I had a meeting with Max Harrison this week. I had a roommate to reconnect with.
I pulled the pillow to my chest. I had all of that, but what I really wanted had just walked out the door.
Chapter Eighteen
I had fallen into sort of a groove at work. It was still chaotic and overwhelming, but that had become my new normal. Monday morning, I walked in looking for a case to distract me. I wanted to sink my teeth into something while Vaughn was gone. I hadn’t heard from him yet.
Addie looked up for a brief second.
“Good morning.” I smiled.
“Hi.” She scribbled notes on an open file.
Jessie was right behind me. “Am I late?” She was noticeably out of breath.
“No.” I shook my head. “I just got here.”
“Good.” She scooted in next to me, closer than what I was comfortable with. “I was worried that you had already started meeting with clients. I ran from the shuttle, but then I remember I left my phone so I had to find that and it was one thing after another.”
I didn’t know if I was a good mentor for Jessie or not. I didn’t enforce any type of rule system. I taught her the law of the cases we worked on. I explained what documents we needed and the deadlines for filing them. I didn’t give her advice on how to make a career in law or even how to impress the boss by showing up on time.
Addie was the complete opposite. She had handed her mentees a syllabus with expectations and guidelines for the year. They checked in with her throughout the day.
“Want me to go on a coffee run?” Jessie offered.
“Actually yes.” I needed a second to breathe. Alone. I handed her a wad of cash. “The usual.”
“No problem.” She stuffed the bills into her purse and walked out of the office.
It gave me a few minutes to settle in.
Meg poked her head in the door. “Ready?”
I waved her off, while Addie waved her first client in for the morning.
I needed more time. I didn’t know if there was enough coffee or enough minutes. But I wasn’t ready.
***
By lunch Jessie and I had seen four new clients and two active cases. I wanted to devote the rest of the afternoon to cases I still had pending.
It was hard to juggle the caseload with so many people piling up in the lobby. I didn’t want to turn anyone away, but I couldn’t help the people I was already committed to if I didn’t close some of the cases.
I walked to the student store to grab a salad. I pulled my phone out when it buzzed. It was a text from Greer.
Had fun last night. See you tonight, roomie. Want to watch a movie?
I smiled. Last night had been fun. It wasn’t what I had hoped for, but Preston decided not to come over when he realized it was going to be a girls’ night.
Definitely
I was glad that Greer wanted to try to bring us back together. It wasn’t her fault things had become foreign between us. I had ignored our friendship as much as she had. I was lost in some kind of Vaughn spell. I had to learn how to balance our relationship in my life. It was too easy to be consumed by him.
I paid for my salad and walked across campus, pulling my coat tighter to my chest. I decided to eat lunch at my desk while Jessie took her full hour break.
I poured a drizzle of dressing over the kale leaves when my phone vibrated again.
I wanted it to be Vaughn. I sighed when I saw the text was from my mother.
Are you coming home for Thanksgiving?
It seemed like the kind of conversation we needed to have over the phone. It was the most time off I had since I started at American.
Can I bring someone?
I waited for my mother’s response. I hadn’t talked to Vaughn about the holidays, but Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away. Of course it was entirely possible he had plans with his family. But there was a part of me that wanted to take him home to New Bern with me.
Even if my family was crazy and unstable. They were still my family. And I wanted them to meet him.
Greer?
I groaned. This was why texting wasn’t the best option. But it might be hard to get off the phone with my mom. I didn’t want to spend my lunch break detailing my relationship.
No. My boyfriend. I’ll call you tonight when I’m not at work.
Boyfriend? Who? What’s his name?
I typed out my last reply.
His name is Vaughn. I’ll call you later.
I shoved my phone in my purse so I could ignore more messages. To be fair, my mother didn’t meddle in my relationships. She was too engrossed in Garret’s problems to focus on mine.
That should be a compliment. I was the kid who had everything together. The one she didn’t ha
ve to worry about. She trusted me not to date an alcoholic or an unemployed tattoo artist. But it didn’t mean I didn’t want her approval.
And for the first time in a long time I had someone in my life I was proud of. I wanted to take him home and show him off. There wasn’t anyone like him in New Bern. Polished and sophisticated, yet rough and masculine. No one had come close to capturing my senses like he did. He had managed to crumble all of the walls I had. Broken through my resistance. And there was a reason for it—he was incredible.
“This a bad time?” Jessie joked.
I looked up from my fork. I hadn’t taken a single bite.
“No. Just thinking,” I answered. I had intended to read through notes on Lana’s case.
“It looked serious.”
“Trying to figure out the holidays with my family. That’s all,” I explained.
“Ahh. I think I’m staying here.”
“Really? Do you have family in D.C.?” I asked.
“Nah.” She shrugged. “It’s just not worth going home for a few days when I’m going to be back at Christmas. A lot of the students are getting together for a Friendsgiving thing.”
“Oh. I hadn’t heard.”
“I don’t think it’s a big deal. But some people want to study.”
Sometimes I forgot how much work Jessie had. On top of her clinic hours with me she had classes and exams. The holidays were a miserable time when I was in law school.
“How are classes going?”
“Fine. Or terrible. Depends on which day you ask me.” She smirked.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No. I like being in the clinic. It’s a nice break.” Her smile was pretty. Underneath sometimes I thought I saw something sad.
“What about a break today?” I suggested. “Take the rest of the afternoon off and study. Or just sleep. I remember how awful law school was. Time is precious.”
“Are you serious? Don’t you have to sign off on my hours.”
“It’s fine. Really. I can handle the rest of the afternoon.”
“What about Addie?” She looked at the empty desk next to us.
“She doesn’t know if you’re researching something for a case or not.” I grinned. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
She picked up her bag. “Thank you. I don’t know what to do first.”
“Maybe sleep,” I advised.
She nodded as she turned for the door. “I think I might.”
Addie walked in past her. “Is Jessie leaving?”
“I gave her an assignment.” I glanced at my laptop, ignoring Addie’s needling stare.
“Oh.”
I felt some sort of satisfaction having a secret from my officemate. I wasn’t a rule breaker, but today there was something renegade about my attitude.
We both looked up when we heard a rap-tap on the frosted glass of our front wall. It was Max Harrison.
“Professor Harrison.” Addie suddenly had a bright smile and warmth.
“I know you’re busy, but Emily I was wondering if you had a few minutes.”
I could feel the anger dripping off Addie. She shouldn’t be jealous. Neither of us knew what this was about.
“Of course. Would you like to sit?” I offered.
“How about we take a quick walk?”
I covered my salad. “I can do that.” I grabbed my jacket and followed him outside.
We started on one of the sidewalks that looped around the building.
“I don’t usually interject in any of our resident’s cases, but I wanted to discuss a specific one with you.”
“Oh?” My eyebrows lifted.
He shoved his hands in his wool jacket. He had a plaid scarf tied in a hefty knot under his chin.
“I read the brief on the Foley case.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “And you have a recommendation for me?”
“I’m wondering if you have referred Mrs. Foley to outside counsel.”
The wind kicked up. “No. She came to me specifically stating she didn’t trust any law firms in the city. Working with someone else isn’t an option for her.”
“Have you brought it up again? Suggested she go with a full legal team?”
I shook my head. “What is your concern? That I’m not able to handle the case?”
He tilted his head toward the tree limbs overhead. “Emily, this is the kind of case that’s going to receive national attention. Suing a sitting senator is not a run-of-the-mill suit.”
“I’m aware of the implications and the consequences,” I stated. The case had kept me awake at night. I knew all of the ramifications.
“I’m afraid it’s going to appear as though our university is trying to insinuate itself in a national matter.”
“Are you asking me to drop Mrs. Foley’s case?”
He stopped under one of the oaks. I wrapped my jacket closer to my chest.
“I think it would be best.”
I shook my head. “I can’t do that.”
“You can,” he pressed.
“Then I should say I won’t do that. I stand by her claims. She was wrongfully terminated. Someone has to hold the senator accountable.”
“Then let the Justice Department do that. I’m sure a high-end firm would love the publicity.”
I sighed with exasperation. “That’s exactly what Lana doesn’t want. She needs an advocate who has nothing to gain. Nothing financial. Nothing but pursing the purity of the law. And that’s what I intend to do.”
He huffed. “I had a feeling you would say that.”
“You did?”
He nodded. “I really wanted to make sure you were fully committed.”
“I am. Fully.”
We started to walk back toward the clinic. “Then, I’d like to offer my assistance.”
I was shocked. “For a case you want me to drop?”
“It’s not that I want you to drop it, it’s that if you do drop it life would be simpler for all of us. But I haven’t been teaching and practicing law for this many years to turn down a monumental moment. I’d like to be in on it, if you’ll have me.”
“Oh my God, yes. Of course. I’d love to have help. Your help.”
“Great.” He smiled. “We can schedule a briefing for tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
I climbed the stairs.
“See you tomorrow, Emily.”
I suddenly felt as if I had a full arsenal at my disposal. Max Harrison was a brilliant legal mind. And he was now on our team. I needed to call Lana and let her know. This changed everything.
***
By the time I reached the top of the third floor I had already forgotten everything that happened at work today.
I saw the door. It came rushing back. The way my hands splayed against the planes. How Vaughn had held me with his body. I stared at it for a moment, not quite ready to put my keys in the lock.
That door reminded me I had gone somewhere I had never thought possible. I never would have explored that part of myself without Vaughn.
It drove me crazy that I didn’t know where he was or when he’d be back.
I turned the key in the door and walked inside.
The apartment was dark. I turned on a few lights before pouring a glass of wine. I knew it was too cold to sit on the rooftop. Maybe with a heater and a blanket, but I wasn’t feeling adventurous. Instead I felt tired and cranky. I wanted wine and the couch. No, what I really wanted was Vaughn.
I pulled a blanket over my legs, letting my body sink into the cushions.
The door barged open and Greer wrestled a file box through the apartment.
“Do you need help?”
She dropped everything in front of her room.
“No. It would be nice if I didn’t have to lug this shit back and forth to work.”
It looked like the same stacks she had yesterday.
“What’s in those things?” I sat forward with my wine. “And why isn’t i
t on an external drive? Wouldn’t that be easier to carry?”
She groaned. “Because, truth be told, and a security secret, there are some people who believe our files are more secure this way. We can’t be hacked. And who would think we’d bother with paper copies of contracts?”
I swallowed the wine. “Strange, but good point.”
“Maybe if we just had an elevator,” she whined.
“I’ve said that every day I’ve lived here.” I smiled. “Do you still want to watch a movie, or do the boxes mean you have work to do?”
She frowned. “So much work. But maybe I’ll be finished soon.”
I kicked my feet to the floor. She could have the living room to work. “It’s ok. I’m too tired to keep my eyes open. I would fall asleep no matter what movie we watched. I think I’m going straight to bed.”
“You sure?”
“Oh yes. Positive.” I traipsed to my room. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
Chapter Nineteen
I fumbled for the phone in the dark. I didn’t know what time it was, only that I had been sleeping long enough to feel a heavy fog engulf me. I hit my hand on the lamp. A sharp pain shot across my wrist.
“Shit,” I grumbled before landing on the phone.
The screen looked blurry. It was my father. I sat up. “Dad, what’s wrong?” It had to be horrible for him to call me.
“Emily, it’s your brother.”
I couldn’t breathe. The dread tore through me. An icy chill coated my skin. Good news never came in the middle of the night. This was no different. I could feel the instant hollowness engulf me and fill my room. It permeated the darkness.
“Dad, tell me,” I pleaded.
“It’s—one of his friends called. He’s not doing well.”
I let the breath go. “Where is he?”
“They don’t know.”
“Who is ‘they’?” I turned on the lamp. I shielded my eyes as my room was illuminated. The light didn’t ease my panic.
“The guys he was living with at the beach. Logan and Ben called when he didn’t show up for work.”
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