Isn’t that what every couple dreams of?
Blinded by love, I suddenly came to realize the man I married never wanted children, and he certainly didn’t want to leave the city life for suburbs.
I close the door to my office and sit at my desk while my mind crushes my heart like it’s done every single day since I walked away.
Maybe if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. Maybe if I hadn’t pushed so hard. Maybe if I’d settled for everything we did have together, instead of what he refused to give me.
None of that matters now. I’m bitter. He’s bitter. I can’t be in the same room as him and not hear words that sicken me play on repeat. There was a side of my husband I never knew; one he refused to show me until he knew it was too late for me try to change him.
I know now that some people can’t change. He’s one of them.
When I left I knew I wouldn’t return to that life again. I made a promise that I’d reinvent myself, and I’m going to do it. I’ve spent too much time dwelling on negativity. Something has to give.
I’m back in Chincoteague; a place that I love and cherish for the good and bad memories it provides. This is where I wanted to end up. I’m fulfilling a lifelong dream to work with animals, but most importantly the wild Assateague ponies, and no one is going to stop me from having that.
My days of letting men destroy me are over. Good riddance to them and the high horses they ride around on.
The only one who can help me find happiness is me, and I’m determined to make it happen.
Chapter 4
Brant
Leigh shows up a little after our phone call, which tells me she left immediately following our conversation. Knowing how much she cares helps make this easier. Her arms wrap around me as soon as she’s within reach. “Are you okay? Have you heard anything?”
I pat her on the back while holding her close to me. “Not yet. You got here fast.”
“School wasn’t important today. You need me here.”
I shake my head. In all honesty, I’m surprised at her response. “I didn’t think you cared about the dog.”
She plays with my shirt while answering. “Look, I admit I don’t like the hair and the constant drool, but you love him. Just because I’m not a pet person doesn’t mean I can’t be compassionate. If they didn’t make me itch maybe I wouldn’t mind having one.”
“I appreciate you saying that.”
She licks her lips while taking a quick audit of the room. “Since I’m here, why don’t we head home?”
Bristol is walking across the room with her cell phone to her ear. At first I think it’s the veterinary clinic, but soon come to realize it’s more likely to be one of her college friends. She heads toward her bedroom and I hear the door close before giving Leigh my attention. “I better stick around here until we hear something.”
She sniffles, reminding me why she hates being in this house. Too many dogs shedding. I can’t relate, or even begin to know what it’s like to be allergic to something that I love, like animals. I’ve never lived in a home without a pet until now. I’ve often considered getting some fish just to be able to have something to come home to and care for.
Leigh is too independent to need my help. She cooks, cleans, and does what she wants. She’d rather take care of me, and I happen to enjoy it. My mom was always the type to stay home and care for her family. I doubt Leigh will ever stay home and raise kids, but for the time being I enjoy knowing she’s capable and willing.
“Do you want me to stay too? I can take an allergy pill.”
I shake my head and offer a smile while rubbing the top of her shoulders. “No. It shouldn’t be much longer. Let me tell Bristol what’s going on. She wasn’t handling it well earlier, but I think she’s calmed down. Either way, there’s nothing we can do. I’ll head back to the house with you.”
She bites down on her lip and stares into my eyes. “If you come home with me I’ll keep you distracted.”
I grin. It’s impossible to not react to her claim. “Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.”
“I won’t even talk about moving.”
I nod. Just hearing her bring it up makes me cringe. “Deal.”
She kisses me, grabbing either side of my cheeks and pulling me against her lips, holding them there for a few long seconds. When she lets go she’s focused on my gaze. “I love you, Brant.”
“I love you too, babe. I’ll be right behind you.”
She’s holding one of my hands as she begins to step away from me. Letting go before pulling me in her direction, she winks. “Promise?”
I nod again. “I’ll see you in a few.”
Leigh hasn’t even left the driveway when my sister comes out from her bedroom red-faced and wide-eyed. “The animal hospital called. Brim is out of surgery.”
I sigh out of relief. “So he’s good now?”
She shrugs. “Miss Joan said we can pick him up tonight or first thing tomorrow. They’re monitoring him for the rest of the day.”
I fidget with the change and keys in both pockets. “So, do I need to be the one to pick him up?”
Bristol gives me that look; the one that says she’s not going to do something. “Well, I can’t afford the bill. Dad only left enough for me and Nick.”
Nick, our new stepbrother, has been working at the restaurant and attending college. He’s barely ever home, which is probably good since he and Bristol bicker constantly.
“Fine. I’ll take care of it. He’s my responsibility anyway. You said tonight or the morning?”
“Miss Joan says to call tonight before seven. If they want him to stay longer she’ll let you know then. So far she says he’s doing better. I guess that new doctor knows her stuff. Dad said we were going to have to find a new vet soon, because Dr. Sorenson was thinking about retiring. I’m glad she was there. Brimley might not have made it if we had to drive to another town.”
“She saved his life.”
“Make sure you thank her for me, Brant. Do you need me to go with you when you get him?”
As much as I’d like the company, I have no idea what could be in store for me the next time I see Jamie. That being said, I don’t think I want my kid sister getting involved in whatever might be said between me and the good doctor. “I can handle it.”
When I leave the house to head to Leigh’s place I find myself driving back to the veterinary hospital. Sitting outside, I keep the vehicle running and watch the door, as if I’m going to get answers from spying.
I want to know how long she’s been in town. Why hasn’t anyone mentioned it to me? This town is small. Everyone talks. How I missed a new vet in town is beyond me, especially one that’s beautiful.
I rest my head against the steering wheel. “Get it together, Brant. You’re engaged to a good woman.” I pull away from the curb only to hear the sound of someone skidding to avoid hitting the driver’s side door. Turning to look out the window, I notice an elderly gentlemen named James Monroe shaking his hand at me while he honks his horn.
Before I know it people are walking out from the clinic looking to see what the commotion could be. Embarrassed when Jamie makes an appearance, I take off down the road, hoping and praying she didn’t recognize me. She’s messing with my head and she doesn’t even know it.
My mind wanders back to the dream. Why today? Of all days. Why did I have to wake up thinking about her, only to run into her? I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me.
Pulling up at the apartment, I park my truck behind Leigh’s Mercedes. My heart continues to race as I climb out and make my way to the door. I find my girlfriend in a pair of skimpy shorts and a tank, sprawled out on the couch while her hand is stuck in a bag of Doritos. Her full mouth reshapes into a somewhat smile without dumping the chips down the front of her. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself.” I toss my keys into the dish we keep by the door and kick off my boots. “So much for today being productive.”
She extends her arms, welcoming me into th
em as I reach the sofa. “Come here and let me make it all better.”
Being comforted by her makes the stress a bit more manageable. “I know he’s just a dog, but it screwed with my head.”
“It’s fine.”
“Thanks again for coming home. It was a long drive.”
“I’ll always choose you, Brant. You know that right? Nothing will keep me from being there to support you.”
When our eyes meet I feel guilty. I play with the ring I put on her finger months ago while I struggle to understand why I’m this disturbed over seeing someone from my past. It’s not like she poses a threat, or has come back to seek me out and rekindle what was lost. The ties between us were severed. I made sure of it.
Pulling her onto my lap, I get her in the perfect position before replying. “Maybe you could help clear my mind with some physical therapy.”
Her lips brush over mine as I say it, the shape of them forming a smile. Leigh stops and backs away enough to run her fingers over the fabric of my shirt. “Do you think you can handle it? I don’t know about you, but I’m still sore from the makeup sex last night.”
Remembering why we woke completely naked draws a grin. “I’m not sore. My manhood is made of steel. Maybe you’re the one who can’t handle it.”
Taunting her only gets me wired. She’s not going to resist me. She never does. It’s always some kind of game with her, and that’s okay with me. It’s distracting and I enjoy it.
“Manhood? You’re so old,” she teases.
It’s true. Leigh is a lot younger than me. She’s twenty-two and I’m nearing thirty. She likes to give me a hard time about it too, reminding me of how much I complain, like an older person tends to do.
We laugh together as I guide her hips to thrust over my groin. “I’m wise. There’s a difference, babe. Now quit your stalling and lose the clothes. As cute as you look in those shorts, I prefer you without things hiding that pretty little body of yours.”
I raise both arms over my head and watch as she lifts the top from over her head. Her freed breasts perk up and she backs off the couch. “How’s this for therapy?”
I think my smirk says it all. “It’s a good start. I’d prefer it if we got to the rubdown. I’m a hands on kind of guy.”
“Man,” she corrects. “You’re a man. My man.” Her shorts drop, proving my theory that she wasn’t wearing panties. I lick my lips as she starts working to remove the button to my jeans and tear them off my legs. I lift my ass to assist, appreciating how fast she’s working to get the job done. As seconds begin to pass my worries subside. This is why I’m going to marry her. She’s good for me. I’m not going to let Jamie’s return screw with my head anymore. It’s redundant and won’t do either of us a lick of good. I’m being a fool for taking it this far. Enough is enough. If I want the dreams to stop I need to let go of my regrets. Nothing can change what’s been done.
Chapter 5
Jamie
I’ve spent the last few weeks keeping busy and settling in. I’ve seen the Wallace family from afar, and even had lunch at the restaurant their father Buck and his new wife own, but never have I come face to face with Brant.
I’ve been off my game all day, out of focus and unable to calm my nerves. Ten years and he still has this effect on me.
Thanks to my veterinary technician Avery, I’m able to make it through the long morning without injuring a precious pet or myself. She’s asked me three times what’s wrong; though I think she suspects it has to do with my marriage, or pending divorce that is.
She and Jean have seen tears since I’ve taken over for my uncle. They know I’m stressed and at the end of my rope, but I’ve always been able to do my job. Sometimes I don’t even consider what I do as a career, because I love it so much. From as young as I can remember I wanted to help animals and be around them. I spent an extra year learning the ins and outs of specializing in small pets and even some aquatic creatures.
That being said, today is one of my designated visits to Assateague to check out the animals that may need to be treated. While in the truck, Avery peers out the window, remaining pretty quiet. It’s only about ten minutes to the center. We make it to the bridge separating Chincoteague and Assateague before she starts asking questions. “Are you okay, Dr. Danvers?”
I hate hearing someone call me that name. It only reminds me of the pending war I’m involved in with my ex. “Jamie. Please just call me Jamie. The whole doctor thing isn’t necessary. If you’re going to be working with me every day we need to be friends.”
She adjusts in her seat and faces me. “Sorry. Your uncle wasn’t like you.”
“My uncle is an old man set in his ways.”
“Yeah. So are you okay? You can tell me if something is bothering you. It’s obvious you’re having a hard time.”
I nod while pulling out my identification for the park ranger to allow me entrance. I’m talking as we continue driving to the center. “Things are complicated for me. You know I’m going through a separation, probably an ugly divorce.” I heavily sigh before continuing. “It’s just a lot.”
“So it had nothing to do with that guy and girl this morning?”
“No.” I’m quick to answer. “I didn’t know them.”
“Jean told me you used to come here for the summer. I just thought maybe you did.”
Jean has a big mouth. She likes to gossip about stuff she has no business talking about. “What did Jean say about the people that came in?”
“She said you knew the guy.”
“Really?” I’m going to give Jean a piece of my mind when I can get her alone. She has no business starting trouble in the office. “She must be mistaken.”
“That guy was hot. I’ve seen him around town. I think he’s got a few brothers too. Maybe when you’re ready to get back on the horse you should look into his family. Lots of good genetics.”
If she only knew I’ve been there and done that. Literally. “After what I’m going through, the last thing I need to do is think about dating again. My life stays busy enough where I don’t feel that lonely.”
It’s a lie, and I feel bad for it, because I’d like nothing more than to pour my heart out to whoever would listen, but I’m afraid of rejection or scrutiny. Maybe she’ll say my husband was right. Maybe she’ll validate the fact that I’m selfish and put my life before the people I care about.
“I get it. I mean, I’ve never been married, but you’ve obviously got your reasons for leaving him.”
“That I do.” I suck in a reassuring breath. “Listen, when I’m ready I’ll talk about it. It’s just too soon right now.”
Our eyes meet and I catch a smile forming across her face. She nods, letting me know she’ll back off with the questions until I’m prepared for the judgment.
My afternoon consists of a turtle with severe disfigurement due to getting stuck in some plastic, and a wild pony with what appears to be a spider bite to the eyelid. It’s swollen and needs to be drained to prevent further infection. We get right to the task, after the animal is properly sedated. The unfortunate part of my occupation is not being able to explain to the animal that I’m there to help them. Domesticated pets are easier to console. They’re familiar with calming voices and gentle touch, while wild or feral animals have no way of knowing. I’ve been bitten, scratched, and even had to endure dozens of shots to my stomach from a rabies scare. I know the risks of my job. This equestrian could most certainly come out of sedation and kill me. I do this because I want to. I do it because I love animals.
The distraction helps with my nerves, at least until I’m back at the animal hospital checking on Brimley, who I happen to know is Brant’s dog. Joan has made the calls before leaving. This pooch is going to be spending the night in my care so I know for sure he’s out of the woods.
When I moved to the island my uncle was still living in his house next to the animal hospital. A week ago he moved in with his girlfriend, who he’d been seeing for a couple years after
his wife passed away from a sudden blood clot. For a while I think he blamed himself, as if he would have been able to see signs to prevent it from happening. Jean recently told me they closed the clinic for two whole months while he mourned the loss. She’d been his vet tech for more than thirty years. They lived, worked and spent every waking second together. That’s why I know this new woman in his life will never replace my beloved aunt. My uncle needs someone to share the rest of his life with. He’s lonely. His girlfriend is in the same boat. Her husband had a stroke and died while driving a tractor-trailer. She met my uncle at church during a bereavement meeting and they’ve been close ever since.
Avery helps me carry Brimley into the house before calling it a night. I wave as she pulls out of the driveway, and turn to look at the dog that seems to be waiting for my attention.
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s caging animals, so I hurry over and open the door so he can walk around freely. My but hits the sofa cushion at the same time he approaches. His chin rests on my knees as his thankful eyes wait for mine to meet them. I pat his head. “Feeling better, old boy?”
He doesn’t wait for permission before jumping onto the couch beside me. Instead of wanting to correct him for getting hair all over my brand new couch, I lean down and hug the pet. It’s the closest I’ve come to affection in months. Sometimes I’m inconsolable, but tonight I don’t feel so alone. I sit up and stare at the television I’ve yet to turn on. “How about some chick flicks and a nice warm meal?”
I stand, his head perking up until he sees me leaving the room to head to the kitchen. I hear his feet hitting the hardwood floor and fast approaching. A smile forms when he comes to stand next to me. “Hungry?”
He barks.
“Me too. Sometimes I forget to eat.” I search the cabinets, pulling out something I can make to go along with a nice thick steak. “Brown rice sound good to you?” I ask while grabbing vegetables from the freezer. “Carrots and green beans good?” I realize I’m talking to dog. This is what my life has amounted to. I’m cooking dinner for me and the dog of my ex. I can’t get any more pathetic.
Half Shelled Heart (Oyster Cove, #2) Page 3