“Am I supposed to know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about?” She tried to play dumb, but it didn’t work.
Wham! I hauled off and hit that disrespectful bitch dead in her eye. Wham! Wham! Wham! Before she even had a chance to hit me back, she was laid out on the floor getting the ass whoopin’ of a lifetime. The other girls in the shop laughed and shared gossip, but no one lifted a finger to help her. Asia was the kind of girl that no one liked. She wasn't cute, but she wasn't ugly either, and her body was nice, so she used it to get by. She was around five-nine and light-skinned with acne scars all over her face and big bug eyes. She had dirty brown hair, which was gelled back into a short ponytail. How the hell could Boss cheat on me with something like that?
“Bitch, next time you think about callin’ my house and playin’ on my muthafuckin’ phone - you remember this face,” I cautioned her. “Bitch, Boss don't want you. I’m Boss Bitch. You see that Porsche parked outside? He bought that. You see all this ice on my hand and wrist? He bought that, too. You ain’t even on my muthafuckin’ level.”
I was driving back home when it hit me: it was time for that nigga to sweat a little. I turned around and began to drive in the opposite direction toward my mama’s house. Boss could keep playing games if that’s what he wanted, but he wasn’t going to play them alone. I might have been young, but I wasn’t anybody’s fool - not even Boss’.
My mother wasn't doing anything, so we decided to go to a movie; two hours of laughing in the dark was just the thing I needed to forget for a while. Once the lights came back on, though, the same problems were still there. On top of that, I had my own mind betraying me. I couldn’t stop thinking about Boss. I wondered what he was doing and if he was thinking about me, too. I dropped my mother off at her house and went home. I couldn’t hide from my problems forever.
“Nigga, get the fuck up!” I shouted at Boss, snatching the covers from his body as he slept. “It ain’t time for sleepin’; it’s time for explainin’.”
“Fuck is yo problem?” He tried to snatch the cover back from me, but I was too quick. I wasn’t comfortable, so he wasn’t going to be comfortable either. The nigga had his nerve. I’m out stressing over our situation - and he’s in bed, sleeping like a baby.
“Nigga, I ain’t got no problem, but you do - and her name is Meesha.”
Boss laughed. Whenever he was happy, I was happy. I tried to stay mad, but it didn’t work; I loved him too much. I loved seeing him laugh, and I loved being the one that made him laugh. The circumstances didn’t matter. He belonged to me the same way that I belonged to him. Outsiders could try and pry us apart, but it wouldn’t work. We were for life. The only way we were going out was blazin’.
“You think I’m funny?” I asked as I pushed him down and climbed on top of him. “I’m a joke now?”
“I thought you left me.” He looked up at me with so much pain in his eyes, I could barely stand it.
“Nauh,” I said, shaking my head from side to side. “You fucked with me, and now you stuck with me.”
“You crazy, baby.”
“I might be crazy, but I sure as hell ain’t stupid,” I reminded us both. Being with Boss wasn’t easy; it fucked with my self esteem in a major way. He was older and more mature, and I was even afraid to ask how many women he was with before me. He never talked about any of them, though, and I appreciated that. It wasn’t like I didn’t know he had a past; I just didn’t need the details.
The ringing of his cell phone interrupted our conversation. He tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t stop. Somebody had something important to say.
“And that betta not be no bitch,” I warned him as I snatched the phone out of his hand and began to inspect the Caller ID. “It’s Pee-Wee.” I picked up my face and handed him his phone.
“What's up?” Boss sounded concerned. The time on the clock caused me to grow concerned as well; Pee-Wee wouldn’t call that late at night if it weren’t important. Goose bumps spread up and down my arms. A storm was brewing; I could smell it in the air. I watched Boss for clues, but his face was just as stoic as ever...I couldn’t read him for shit.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked my man with caution as soon as he ended the phone call with his cousin. “What don’t you wanna tell me?”
“I’m sorry, Meesha.” He diverted his eyes away from mine. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t even look at me. Tears formed in his eyes, and I grew more anxious as I watched them begin to trickle down his rugged face. I knew it was really bad then. The entire time we’d been together, I never once saw Boss cry. I never even saw him tear up. He was a hood nigga, and it took a lot to get to him. I felt like my world was about to come crashing at my feet, and I didn’t even know what was wrong yet.
“Boss, sorry for what?” My hands gripped his big, strong muscular arms for support. “Baby, what are you sorry for?”
“It’s Ant, baby.” He spoke so low, I could barely understand him. “Ant -”
“What about...” I paused for a moment and took in a deep breath. “What about Anthony?”
“Meesh.” He just shook his head solemnly from side to side. “Damn!” His shout was so loud and powerful, it caused me to jump right where I sat. “Baby, I never wanted nothin’ like this to happen to you.” His tears were contagious; I started to cry with him. We both knew my brother was dead - I just needed to hear him say it...it wouldn’t be real until it came from Boss’s mouth.
“Baby, tell me what happened to Anthony.”
“He’s dead, Meesh.” His words echoed in my head. Anthony was gone. My li’l brother was dead. Everything felt different. I knew instantly that I’d never be the same again. I was just a few years older than Ant, but I felt like a mother losing her firstborn. My body began to betray me: everything hurt, especially my stomach; I felt like I was going to throw up all over our nice clean bed.
“I don’t feel good.” I stood up to try and make my way to the bathroom, but my knees gave out. “Oh God.” I felt like I was dying; my limp body fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes, and the room began to spin around me. I knew it was just a physical reaction to a mental devastation, but I was still scared, and so was Boss - who was at my side in no time.
“Meesh, you okay, baby?” he asked with a look of panic all over his handsome face. I wondered if he was thinking about his mother. When he told me how she committed suicide back when he was just a little boy, my heart broke for him. I couldn’t imagine losing my own mother so young. His ways made so much more sense to me then. I understood why he didn’t let many people in: his emotional walls were made of steel. I was just grateful that he left a crack small enough for me to burrow myself inside. He needed me - just like at that moment, sitting on the floor in more pain than I’d ever endured, I needed him.
Less than an hour after I found out that my little brother had been murdered, I also found out that I was pregnant. I was carrying Boss’s child. My emotions were all over the place. One minute I was crying my eyes out, and the next I was smiling, knowing that I was going to be the one to finally give my man the family he always wanted. I knew him well enough to know how much he wanted a child, and I felt honored that God chose me to be that child’s vessel, to give that child life. I just hoped and prayed that by the time he or she got here, I’d be in a better state of mind.
“I want you to find out who murdered my li’l brother,” I whispered to Boss as he sat next to me in my hospital bed. “I really need you to do this for me.”
“And once I find ‘em?” He looked over at me like he already knew what I was about to say. “You know I’ll do anything for you, Meesh.”
I did know. In my heart, I always knew Boss loved me. He didn’t always say it, but he showed it. It wasn’t just the gifts or the money; it was the way he held me in the morning when he thought I was still sleeping...it was the way he looked deep into my eyes when he made wild passionate love to me. You can’t fake those things - and since I found out that I was to be the one to giv
e birth to his firstborn child, I knew that bond would only continue to grow. The love we had for each other was multiplying every day. I would have done anything for him, and he would have done anything for me - even commit murder.
“Boss, I want you to find the muthafucka that killed my li’l brother...and when you find ‘em...I want you to take their life...the same way they took Ant’s.”
Chapter 22
Boss
And for her I would.
I watched Meesha lay in a hospital bed, pregnant with my child, crying out for her little brother - and that shit damn near broke me. I knew all too well how she felt, and all I wanted to do was make her pain go way. I loved her in a way that was new to a nigga like me. She wasn’t just some freak bitch I was passing time with; she was the woman I planned on marrying one day. Even if it meant starting a war, I was going to find out who killed Ant - and I was going to end that muthafucka’s life. Her family was my family now, and you don’t fuck with a Boss’s family and live to tell the tale.
Anthony was only fourteen years old, but being the oldest male in the family was starting to put weight on his shoulders. I remembered that feeling all too well. I was the youngest of my family, but I was also my mother’s only male child; that meant I had to become a man much earlier than I was really ready to. For me, it meant popping weed on the corner from sun up to sun down damn near seven days a week; for Ant, it meant stashing rocks for a twenty-one-year-old hustler named Gino who thought he was a bigger nigga on the block than he really was. After a few months of loyal service, he hooked Ant up with a small amount of crack to move; to his surprise, Ant popped it all in only a few short hours. The next day, he gave him more. Selling crack was a hell of a lot more dangerous than popping bags of weed. There was nothing a crackhead wouldn’t do for that high – and it didn’t take long for Ant to learn that brutal lesson.
Yuk was the most annoying, begging-ass crackhead in the hood. Every five minutes, he was hitting somebody else up for a dollar or two. At first, he’d do favors for Ant in exchange for a couple bucks. Eventually, the favors stopped - but the begging sure as hell didn’t. Anthony decided to distance himself from the opportunist, but that only worked for about a week or two. Cluckers were like hunting dogs: once they got a whiff of your scent, they were going to find you – and the hood wasn’t big enough to get lost in.
My source gave Yuk up as soon as I dangled that white diamond in her face. She told me how she saw Yuk stab Ant in the back thirteen times with her own two eyes. There was no way she could have known that any other way. After Yuk stole the last three rocks Ant had stashed in his underwear, as well as the three hundred dollars he had in cash, he shot him with his own gun, then disappeared into the night. That was all I needed to hear. I gave my crackhead source the fat ass rock that had her foaming at the mouth, then began my hunt.
I put the word out on 21st Street that I was looking for Yuk and that my reward was high. Any nigga would have turned him in for free, but even his crackhead buddies would have gave him up for ten grand. It didn’t take long for my cell to start blowing the fuck up. The stupid bitch had the nerve to be back on the block wearing the same blood-stained T-shirt he was wearing earlier when he left Ant bleeding in the gutter. I didn’t even care who saw me; 21st was hot because of me. I made that bitch, and there was no way I was letting a crackhead get away with murdering my woman’s brother on the block I created. Niggas gave me the name ‘Boss’ for a reason – and it was time to remind them why.
“There he go right there.” Pee-Wee was the first to spot Yuk as we turned onto the block in his chromed out black Hummer. “That muthafucka got some nerve.”
I sat back and watched him for a few minutes. My baby was laid up in the hospital with a broken heart, and that muthafucka was high as a kite. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world – and that was my cue.
“Stay here,” I instructed my cousin as I started to get out of his truck. “I got this nigga.”
I marched like a soldier to the rhythm of my own heartbeat. Meesha’s face flashed in my head; she didn’t deserve the day she got dealt, which started out with a phone call from a bitch I fucked one drunken Friday night out with cuzz. Pee-Wee told me not to hit it, but I gave the hoe a facial anyway. My guilt may have been driving me, but my thirst for revenge fueled my mission.
“Bossman, dat you?” Yuk spotted me instantly. “Man, you clean as a muddafucka.” He tried his hardest to get on my best side with compliments a nigga heard every hour of every day, but it was no use. I was immune to his shucking and jiving. I knew I was clean, and I didn’t need his dirty ass to tell me so. His yellow-stained teeth turned my stomach; he was nothing but a big-ass cockroach - and everybody knew that in the hood roaches got stomped out.
“Nigga, you fucked with my girl’s family.” I raised my 9mm and pointed it directly at his skull. “Now you gotta die.”
Yuk was born and raised in the hood. He knew what happened when you fucked with a hustler’s wife: death was the only punishment fit. He knew he was living out his last seconds on earth - but instead of manning the fuck up, he cowered like the punk he was all the way deep down in his soul.
“Boss, please don’t kill me!” His pleas fell on deaf ears. “Please, man! I’ll do anything!” he continued to beg.
I pulled the trigger without so much as a second thought. His head exploded like a melon, spraying brain matter all over the vacant building beside him. He was definitely dead; I made sure of that. I also made sure that no one saw what happened - not even the ones that did.
I walked away from the scene of the crime feeling no remorse whatsoever. That bitch-ass nigga got exactly what he deserved. The only thing left for me to do was build my alibi in case them boys in blue ever came knocking on my door.
When I walked back into Meesha’s hospital room, she took one look at me and knew what I’d done. That part of her nightmare may have been over, but it didn't make the pain go away; only time could heal that wound. She was going to miss her brother every single day for the rest of her life, and nobody knew that torture better than me; she was the one who helped me get out of bed every morning. I was prepared to do everything in my power to be that same source of strength for her.
“If anybody asks -”
“You were here with me all night.” She finished my sentence like the Boss Bitch she was. “I got you, baby.”
Just three days later, we all came together to bury Anthony. The funeral was hard; Meesha and her mother cried the entire time. It hurt to see them in such pain, but I knew there was nothing I could do. I held her when she let go of her mother and wiped her tears away when she couldn’t see any longer; other than that, all I could do was sit by her side and feel useless. All the money I had didn’t help, and all the years I spent putting in work didn’t mean a damn thing...my woman was in pain, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Chapter 23
Meesha
After my brother’s funeral, I was a wreck. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t even stand to be around most people. Even though school was a constant struggle, I still managed to get my work done, but walking the halls like I used to was over; I didn’t have shit to say to anybody, and they all knew about Anthony’s murder - so they gave me my space. They also knew I was Boss’s bitch, so they gave me respect as well.
“What the fuck?!” I yelled and stomped my foot in frustration when I saw what had been done to my Cayenne. “Like I need this bullshit right now.”
I’d just come from my sixth period Calculus class to find my driver side window smashed to bits. All of my belongings were gone, including my custom Alpine stereo system. I was mad, but Boss was going to be pissed. I took a minute to process everything before I made the call I knew I had to make.
“What’s up baby?” Boss answered his cell on the first ring, knowing it was wifey on the other end. “You outta school already?”
“Boss, somebody broke into my car.”
&
nbsp; “I’m on my way.” He didn’t fuck around. “Stay right there.”
When Boss and Pee-Wee pulled up in the Escalade, you would have thought he was Jay-Z or somebody. Kids crowded around and watched him like he was a celebrity – and to them he kind of was. It was legendary the way he built his empire, coming from the same run-down projects that most of them also came from. He was a star; he was their star.
“You okay, Meesh ?” Boss looked me over from head to toe, then wrapped his big arms around me like he never wanted to let me go.
“I’m fine, baby. It’s just my car.”
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