Patchwork Dreams

by Laura Hilton

  And now, she had a beau.

  But instead of feeling joy, his heart broke with the knowledge that he wasn’t the one she’d chosen.

  Jacob didn’t even look at the man. Didn’t want to know who he was. Instead, he watched Becky approach the gathering with that beautiful smile brightening her face, lighting her eyes. He wanted to cry because it wasn’t directed toward him.

  As Becky drew nearer, Jacob felt like a coward; he took his plate and went to hide someplace where he could eat in peace, even though he didn’t feel like choking down a single bite.

  Matthew, being the good friend he was, followed him and kept up a one-sided conversation about the goings-on at the Stoltzfuses’. With all those kinner, it sounded like a busy place, but Jacob was thankful that Matthew didn’t seem to expect him to respond.

  Maybe he knew that Jacob’s heart had been broken in two.

  He had to pull himself together. After all, he would still be working for Daniel at the blacksmith shop. Still be staying in the dawdi-haus.

  Still seeing Becky every day.

  Still living in Missouri.

  Right now, that was too close.

  How could his heart mend if it was ripped asunder day after day?

  With his mind attuned to Becky’s every move, he didn’t even have to look up when he heard the soft footsteps headed his way.

  Why was she being so persistent in tracking him down? Did she want to rub in her rejection even more?

  There was no need for that. He’d gotten the message, loud and clear.

  Jacob started to scramble to his feet, his full plate in hand, ready to beat another hasty retreat, when Matthew put his hand on his arm, stalling him.

  He stared down at the food he’d managed only to move around and shred, his stomach churning. He took a deep breath. Lord, help me bear this. The ultimate rejection.

  Matthew stood and faced Becky. “I think you need to leave Jacob alone. He has no need of a two-timing girl like you.”

  Jacob heard Becky suck in a gasp.

  “Go. Now. Leave him be.”

  He didn’t know whether to be happy or sad that she turned on her heel and walked away without saying a word.

  Chapter 31

  Two-timing? The term still hurt. Jacob should have known better than to allow Matthew to call her that. She hadn’t been out with anyone except for Jacob, and she’d figured he knew that, but now she wasn’t so sure. He was avoiding her. So much for thinking that once everyone left, she would have an opportunity to tell him about her change of heart.

  His behavior had nipped that in the bud. He’d disappeared for the afternoon and shown up again only for the evening Bible reading. And he hadn’t asked her to join him for the singing that night. But then, she was the one who had told him the truth about herself, and now, her worst fears were coming true.

  Monday didn’t get much better. Jacob made no unexpected visits to the house, and when Becky found time to venture down to the shop, Jacob was either busy talking with a customer, or he made himself scarce.

  Even worse, he completely ignored her at meals and other times when he was forced to interact with the rest of her family. She blinked back the tears. She’d known he’d reject her eventually after learning the truth.

  When Becky walked down to visit Annie on Monday afternoon, she found out that he’d asked another girl, Annie’s older sister, Cathy, to ride home with him.

  That hurt, too, even if she was thankful that Jacob would not come between her and Annie. All of a sudden, Becky didn’t like Cathy very much, though they’d had no disputes in the past.

  On Tuesday, Becky was setting freshly baked cookies out to cool when Daed came into the kitchen. She handed him one that was still warm from the oven and poured him a cup of coffee. Then, she swallowed her fear and spoke up. “Daed, Jacob is avoiding me. Would you send him up here to talk to me, please?” She hated to ask but didn’t know how else to get Jacob to talk to her. Meanwhile, she wondered why she even bothered when she knew that his avoiding her had to be the result of finding out the truth.

  She would prefer that he tell her straight-out instead of carrying on with this business of pretending she didn’t exist.

  “I could talk to Jacob,” Daed said with a slightly amused smile, “but I won’t. You work this out on your own, Becky.” He touched her shoulder and winked. “He loves you. But I’m not always going to be around to solve your relationship problems.” He didn’t say anything more. He seemed content to sit back and watch the drama unfold.

  Becky saw nothing funny about this situation.

  By Friday, she’d baked a mountain of goodies—pecan pie, apple pie, cherry pie, peach pie, and several dozen cookies. Jacob seemed to enjoy the fact that she’d spent every spare moment in the kitchen. If the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, she should be paving the way directly to his.

  Having put another pie in the oven to bake, Becky stared out the kitchen window. Seeing no buggies or cars outside Daed’s shop, she decided to make one more attempt to talk to Jacob.

  She hurried out to the shop and slipped inside. Jacob stood in the corner, holding something in his hands, working it with his thumbs.

  She’d wanted to surprise him, but she barely got her two feet into the building before his gaze locked on hers.

  ***

  Jacob’s breath hitched, and he turned away, hoping she hadn’t noticed the effect her presence had on him. He pushed a button on his cell phone, then listened to yet another message from Susie. Fifteen so far, and he’d barely made a dent in them. He should do a mass delete.

  And Susie had nothing to say, except how much she missed him and wanted him to come home. Well, she also told him about the parties she’d been to with Timothy.

  While he was glad that she’d moved on, he wished that she didn’t feel obligated to keep him informed. He wanted to move on with his own life. And why exactly did she want him to come home? So she could share in person?

  If he went home, it would be to join the church. Then, he’d look for a good Amish girl to spend the rest of his life with. And she certainly wouldn’t be Susie.

  Trouble was, he didn’t know who else it would be. If it couldn’t be Becky, then who?

  “Jacob?” Becky touched his upper arm.

  He tried to ignore the electrical charge that shot though him.

  “I’m busy.” He pushed the button once more to listen to another message. This one was from Matthew, telling him he’d be coming to Missouri a bit early. Jah, he’d figured that out. “Gotta take this one.” He walked away from her, though there was really no point in returning that call.

  She followed after him. “I won’t take much of your time.”

  “You’ve taken too much of my time already.” He winced as the words left his mouth. They went way beyond harsh. Instant guilt reproached him.

  She stood there a long moment in complete silence. “Jah. I guess I have. I knew you’d reject me once you learned the truth.”

  He shut his eyes, fighting the urge to turn around. To tell her that wasn’t the case at all. To pull her into his arms and…and…beg her to tell her beau that she loved Jacob Miller.

  Well, to come right down to it, he still had a chance. Bex wasn’t married yet.

  He still had time to change her mind.

  And treating her unkindly wouldn’t be the way to win her heart.

  “Bex.” He swung around. “I’m—”

  She was gone. Somewhere in his search for perspective, she’d disappeared. Undetected.

  And in her place stood…Susie?

  Jacob couldn’t keep his mouth from gaping as he stared at the figure. He blinked several times, hoping to clear his vision, to restore Becky to Susie’s place. But it didn’t work.

  Maybe because Susie had colored her short, spiked hair, which was now black. She couldn’t possibly hide that from her parents, not even under a kapp. And she didn’t wear the long, Amish-style dress covered with an apron. Instead, s
he wore low-cut jeans and a tight T-shirt about three sizes too small, which exposed a belly-button ring.

  He averted his gaze, his face heating, and strained to see out the dirty window to watch where Becky went. He also needed to make sure that it was not a malfunction of his imagination that had conjured up Susie. But his imagination probably would have produced a Susie who looked the way she had the last time he’d seen her, not like this. His mind must really be on the fritz.

  Maybe, in reality, Becky stood in front of him.

  Nein. Definitely not Becky.

  “Don’t look so shocked, Jacob.” Susie moved closer to him. “I expected you to be happier to see me.” She ran her fingers up his arm, her brown eyes dancing. A moment later, she snuggled close to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

  His hands came up automatically, but then he caught himself. She didn’t belong there in his arms. For a moment, he stood stiffly, trying to find a remnant of the excitement he might have felt had she made the trip earlier. But that attempt failed miserably. Instead, he felt about as excited as he would to hold his nephew after he’d smeared cherry pie on his only clean shirt. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away gently. “What are you doing here?” He hoped his words sounded kind and did not make it obvious that he wanted to push her and her belly-button ring into the nearest river—or, better yet, the nearest car, so she could drive away fast.

  Susie rolled her eyes. With a jerk of her arm, she pointed toward the open door. “Is that her? Becky?”

  Nobody stood there, but he nodded anyway. “Jah.”

  “You can’t want that.”

  Jacob didn’t answer. To be honest, he didn’t know what to say. Well, he could think of a response or two, but none that would sound remotely welcoming—or even kind. What had he ever seen in Susie? He wanted to tell her to go back to Pennsylvania, back to Timothy, and to leave him be. But after she’d made the long trek, that seemed rude.

  “I just dressed like this for the trip.” Susie turned away. “The driver is still out there. Point me where I’ll be sleeping, and I’ll have the bags brought in. Then, we’ll talk.”

  She intended to stay? She must have mentioned it in one of the phone messages he hadn’t listened to yet. Jacob frowned. At least Daniel’s Amish hospitality would not put her up in the pigpen. He smothered a snicker and started to lead her to the house, maybe introduce her to Becky, but a car pulled in—probably a customer—followed by a buggy. Daniel wasn’t in the shop, so Susie would have to meet Becky on her own.

  He swallowed. Hard. What would the two women talk about in his absence? He cringed, wondering what Becky would even think when she met Susie. Even more important, how would he ever fix his relationship with Becky while Susie was around? And how would he explain this new twist to Daniel?

  “Ask Bex to show you to a room.”

  She harrumphed and stomped off.

  Susie’s arrival was the last thing he needed.

  For once, he was glad that his work in the blacksmith shop kept him away from the house.

  ***

  Becky wasn’t sure what to think of the Englisch woman talking to Jacob in the blacksmith shop. Wearing black the way she was, her face appeared washed-out, as if she’d escaped the screen of one of the horror films that Kent liked to watch. Becky repressed a shudder.

  It probably had not been the best idea to sneak out of the shop and leave Jacob to deal with the Englischer. But considering the woman had likely heard Jacob’s unkind words—“You’ve taken too much of my time already”—she thought he deserved some inconvenience.

  The Englischer had shot Becky a triumphant look, as if Jacob’s remark meant something to her. What, Becky didn’t know.

  But that didn’t matter. With Jacob tossing her love aside like yesterday’s scrap metal, leaving had been her best option. He obviously needed time away from her.

  If only she had someplace to go.

  Wait—she did! Becky straightened as she remembered Naomi Joy’s request for her to come and help for a few months. Help is on the way.

  Maybe Tony, the driver who’d brought the Englischer, would take her to Naomi Joy’s. Becky stepped over to talk with him.

  “How you doing, Miz Becky?”

  “I’m gut, Tony.” Becky glanced toward the workshop, then looked back at the driver. “Do you have time to take me to Naomi Joy’s haus today?”

  “I sure do. Just unloading these suitcases for Miz Susie, and then I’ll be ready when you are.”

  Miz Susie? That creature was Jacob’s Susie? “I’ll be right out.”

  Becky didn’t ask her family, since Mamm and Grossmammi had gone to market and Daed had vanished. Probably wandered down to a neighbor’s to visit. She’d just leave a note on his pillow.

  The Englisch woman, Susie, came up on the porch steps, startling Becky back to the present. “Becky, is it? I’m Susie, kum to visit Jacob. He said you’d show me a room.”

  Becky stared at her. Jacob had never once indicated that his sweet Susie was an Englischer. He would have been wise to mention that little detail, considering what he knew about Kent.

  And nothing about this woman appeared even the tiniest bit sweet.

  That didn’t matter. Jacob could have his Susie, sweet or not.

  But a room? They didn’t even have a spare bed in this house. And Jacob occupied the extra bedroom in the dawdi-haus.

  Then again, if she went to visit Naomi Joy, Susie could sleep in her place, next to Katie.

  Becky forced a smile. “Jah. You’ll be sharing with my sister Katie. Follow me.” Another detail she’d have to add to her note to Daed.

  In a Christian romance Becky had read once, the villain had tried to ward off the heroine by making snide remarks about the hero’s not being interested in her. For a moment, Becky worried that Susie might do the same. But then, why would she? Becky wasn’t the heroine. If anyone, it was Susie. And she didn’t need to bother with unkind words.

  Jacob had already taken care of that part.

  Becky indicated the room. “There are some hooks there for you to hang your clothes on. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

  Susie nodded and smiled. “Ach, I will.” She hesitated a moment. “But I think I need to change clothes first. I am Amish, really.”

  Becky eyed her apparel and her pierced belly button. Susie’s district must really be liberal. “Of course.” She hoped she hadn’t sounded judgmental. Really, it wasn’t her place. And she had been falsely judged enough to know the consequences. Turning away, she grabbed a couple of her dresses from their hooks, freeing more space for Susie’s clothes.

  Thirty minutes later, she sat in the van, in a seat Jacob might have occupied when he’d come to Missouri, as Tony bore her and Emma away to Naomi Joy’s. Their move would be temporary, but it would give her some much-needed time away from Jacob. Maybe even an opportunity to heal.

  While he renewed his relationship with Susie.

  She was glad Daed hadn’t been home for her to say good-bye. She wouldn’t have been able to bear it. He’d said that Jacob loved her. He couldn’t have been more wrong. And Becky didn’t want to cry in Daed’s arms. Nein, she needed to heal from this broken heart on her own.

  Besides, Daed would have told her that running away from her problems wasn’t the answer. Hadn’t he said virtually the same thing when she’d confessed her pregnancy and suggested giving the boppli to Naomi Joy to raise?

  The van pulled into a circular drive between a modest two-story house and a big barn. A gate off to one side announced the entryway to the garden. Ach, she’d miss her greenhouse. But this would be for only a few months, to help Naomi Joy during her pregnancy.

  The drive took only forty-five minutes, so Becky could easily go home sometime for a visit—if she thought she could handle seeing Jacob. If not, then maybe Daed would hire a van for the family to come and visit her at her sister’s.

  “Here you go, Miz Becky.”

  “Danki, Tony.” Becky gather
ed Emma and their things, then crawled out of the vehicle, while Tony lifted Emma’s cradle out of the back. Becky walked up the porch steps and opened the front door. “Naomi Joy?” She set her things on the kitchen floor and balanced Emma better on her hip, then held the door for Tony, who carried the cradle inside and set it down.

  “Bye, Miz Becky,” Tony said, tipping his hat. “Enjoy your stay. Give me a call when you’re ready to go home.”

  Jah, and you let me know when Jacob Miller has gone.

  Becky glanced around the tidy kitchen. This was the first time she’d been to Naomi Joy’s home. A large wood-burning stove took up most of the tiny room, and on the far wall was a sink with an old-fashioned pump. A small table nestled against the same wall, with a chair positioned at each end.

  Naomi Joy bustled in from the other room, where Becky could see a wringer washer. “Becky! You came. I didn’t think you would.” She gave Becky and Emma a hug. “Danki. I didn’t know who else to ask. I just can’t handle raw food without it triggering my sickness. Poor Samuel needs to eat.”

  Becky nodded. “Jah, I understand. Glad to help.”

  “Samuel and I are sleeping downstairs these days. I can hold Emma if you want to go upstairs and get the bed ready. The one on the left will be yours. The other room is the nursery.”

  “Jah, danki.” Becky handed Emma to her sister. “Where is your boppli?”

  “Ach, hopefully sleeping. Taking a nap while I try to get some washing done.”

  Becky nodded. “I’ll be right down to help.” She grabbed her bags and headed upstairs to the tiny bedroom tucked into the eaves. The ceiling was slanted, and the head of the bed was positioned where the ceiling was lowest. She’d have to be careful not to sit up straight, or she would bump her head, for sure.

  Jacob would never be able to sleep here. The bed was too short and narrow. The ceiling so low.

  Ach, Jacob. Why did she have to think of him just now? Tears burned her eyes.

  Would he miss her? Enough to come after her? Would Daed even tell him where she’d gone? After all, he’d told Jacob when she had gone to McDonald’s, even sent him after her. Yet he no longer interfered when she asked him for help. She was supposed to work it out on her own.