“Come on.” He took my hand and pulled me out of the shuttle and onto a platform, where we were greeted by a guy who couldn’t have been over fifteen years old. Great, our tour guide was a high schooler. I gripped Jay’s hand, afraid to let go, but also a bit irritated at how much pleasure he was taking in my discomfort. The young man was babbling on about safety and showing us various pieces of equipment, and I was sure I should have been listening, but I was completely consumed by fear.
“Why would you bring me to something like this?” I whispered. “Have you forgotten that I’m completely afraid of heights?”
He leaned in, pressing his mouth against my ear. “You’re safe, Abby. I won’t leave you.” His breath was warm against my skin, causing me to shiver, but the feeling behind the words did more for me at that moment than I could’ve imagined, and if I wasn’t mistaken, there was more meaning behind them than just the excursion we were on.
We were fitted with a harness contraption and helmets and herded up a wooden ladder and onto a platform. We were thankfully clipped into a line that they called the ‘safety line,’ and would remain attached to it throughout the tour, so I felt a tiny bit better knowing that at least I wouldn’t plummet to the ground if I slipped off this rickety wooden platform. “Do you want me to go first, Abby?” Jay asked, watching me as if I was going to bolt at any second.
“You better.” I nodded, swallowing hard.
Jay clipped his pulley to the main line, with the help of our guide. He gave me one last nod before he was in motion, quickly gaining speed as he flew over the trees. His laughter carried as he went, until he eventually landed on another platform in the distance.
“Are you ready, ma’am?” I looked at the guide, and he could obviously see my fear as he began to encourage me and smile reassuringly. Before I knew it, I was clipped onto the second line and slipping off the edge of the platform. I could hear my own scream, but it sounded so far away. My eyes were closed tight as I waited to fall to my death, but it never happened. Finally I pried my eyes open and was utterly astonished at the beauty as I floated over the trees, the wind blowing around me. It was amazing—exhilarating—and I had never felt so free in my life. By the time I reached the platform and Jay’s open arms, I was grinning uncontrollably.
“Well?” Jay asked as soon as the other guide unclipped me from the line.
I wasn’t sure how it happened, but one minute I was smiling at Jay and the next minute I had my lips pressed to his. My hands held onto his helmet, keeping him in place as I kissed him like my life depended on it. If it hadn’t been for the guide clearing his throat, I could have stayed like that all day. “We have twelve more to go, ma’am. You might want to pace yourself.” The guide grinned at us both, causing me to blush.
Jay winked at me. “I knew you would like it, Abby.” His smile was infectious, and he was right.
God help me, he had no idea how much.
***
“That was really cool, Jay. Thank you.” We sat on two lounge chairs with a small table and umbrella between them on the beach overlooking the clearest water I’d ever seen.
“I’m glad you liked it.” He grinned, sipping from his drink.
“I really did.” I drew shapes in the condensation of my glass, working up the courage to ask the question that had been on my mind. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Was there anyone else?”
Jay shifted, setting his drink on the table and reaching for my hand. I gave it to him without reservation, needing to feel his touch as I anticipated an answer I needed to know, but didn’t want to hear.
“Not in the way you think.” He sighed before he continued, “I tried to forget you, Abby.” That confession crushed me, but I understood. “Eventually I figured out that it wasn’t going to happen, so I pushed myself in the things I could control, like school.”
“I get it. I really do.” I nodded. I understood trying to forget, and even though the thought of him physically being with someone else hurt like hell, I was glad he hadn’t given his heart to someone else.
“It looks like our ride is here.” Jay pointed to the passenger van that would take us back to the ship. “Ready to go?” He reached down to pull me up, holding me by my waist as I stood in front of him. He hadn’t mentioned the kiss we’d shared on the platform, but I knew he was thinking about it. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It was more than I remembered. The feel of his lips on mine felt so right that it scared the ever-loving shit out of me.
“Yeah, let’s go.” I took a step back, putting some much-needed space between us.
Chapter 8
Jay
“So, what is the plan for tomorrow? Skydiving, swimming with sharks, rappelling into a volcano?” Abby grinned at me from the lounge chair where she sat.
“Smartass!” I tossed a piece of ice at her, frowning when she shivered. “Are you cold?”
“A little.” She shrugged. “I should have brought a sweater.”
I scooted up in my own lounge chair, patting the space between my legs. “Come over here.” She hesitated. “Come on, Abby. Just come snuggle with me. I’ll keep you warm.” I waggled my eyebrows.
“Okay, but only because I’m cold, and you’re like a portable furnace.” She giggled as she climbed onto my chair. I said a silent prayer that my body wouldn’t react to her closeness and scare her off, but I was fooling myself. There was no way I could have her pressed against me and not react. She owned me.
I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, placing a soft kiss on her head as she settled into me. “Better?” I asked, smoothing her hair away from her face so I could see her eyes.
“Yes, much better.” She nuzzled into me, and I groaned as any control I had evaporated with her rubbing against me. “Something wrong?” She giggled.
“Careful, Abby. You might get more than you bargained for.” I chuckled. We sat there for the next two hours, listening to the live music on the pool deck and enjoying the closeness of each other. It was more than I could’ve hoped for.
“You never answered my question about tomorrow. Are we doing anything?” I liked the way it was almost understood that one way or another we would be spending time together.
“Well, since we will be in Cozumel, I thought we should go snorkeling. It’s supposed to be incredible.”
She sat up and turned so she could look at me as her face lit up. “Really? I’ve always wanted to do that!” Her excitement thrilled me.
“We better get you to bed, so you’re well rested.” I stood up and grabbed her hand, walking her back to her room. For the second night, we stood outside her door. With a soft kiss to her cheek this time, I watched her disappear behind the door again, and for the second night, I made the uncomfortable walk back to my room to relieve the aching bulge that I was beginning to get used to having. At this rate, I was going to have calluses on my hand.
***
Abby was visibly bouncing in her seat as we rode in the shuttle van to the snorkeling excursion. I loved seeing her like this. It reminded me of the way she used to get so excited over little things like puppies outside of the pet store on adoption day or coconut milkshakes or rollercoasters. She always showed her emotions outwardly, but I found that just like I had been so clueless years before, regarding her feelings toward me, I still had a hard time reading her when it came to how she felt about me.
“You are thinking really hard about something.” Abby traced the frown line between my eyebrows, instantly relaxing me. Shaking my head, I smiled and grabbed her hand before she could pull it all the way back, placing a small kiss on her fingertip. She pulled back her hand and rolled her eyes as the van came to a stop at the end of a dock.
The boat we were to board was bobbing in the water at the other end. A blue canopy covered the top as three men busied themselves getting things ready for their arriving passengers. I helped Abby step onto the boat and handed her the small backpack I’d brought before stepping on and
settling next to her on the bench seats as the other people did the same.
A young man brought around a cooler, offering bottles of water or sodas, and we prepared to start on the short journey to where we would drop anchor and snorkel. Abby grabbed two bottles of water, handing me one and opening the other for herself. “Thank you.” I nudged her with my shoulder.
As we rode through the water, I was unable to tear my eyes away from Abby as she fastened her life vest, bringing her breasts together, forming a sinful amount of cleavage. She noticed it, too, and giggled before looking up at me. “Aren’t you going to put yours on?” she asked, pointing to the vest that sat strategically placed in my lap, right where I needed it to stay until I could get myself under control. God, I was like a teenager.
“I will in a minute.” I grinned and winked at her, laughing when she realized why I was waiting, and loving the way she blushed.
By the time we reached the area where we would get into the water, I put on the life vest and shoved my feet rather uncoordinatedly into the flippers. I looked up at Abby, who was dressed in full gear, and burst out laughing. The mask fit snugly on her face, pushing her lips out. “What are you laughing at?” She smiled, causing me to laugh even harder at the way her puffy lips looked when she did. She stood up and clumsily walked to the side of the boat. I slipped on my mask and followed her.
“Ready?” I asked, letting her get her laugh at my expense too. When she nodded, I leaned forward, placing my puffy lips to hers in a very awkward kiss, before falling backward off the boat and into the warm Caribbean water. It took her only a moment to follow, splashing into the water right next to me. We each cleared our snorkels like the guide instructed and joined hands before placing our faces into the water, bringing to life a whole other world just beneath the surface. I couldn’t help but think at that moment that as beautiful as this underwater world was, it couldn’t compare to the woman swimming next to me.
Chapter 9
Abby
I lay back on the bench seat of the boat, my head resting on Jay’s lap as the boat bounced over the waves, taking us back to shore. The snorkeling had been beyond my wildest imagination, and the fact that I got to share it with Jay made it as close to perfect as it could get. His hand absently stroked my hair as he looked over the side of the boat, watching the water.
“What do you want to do with the rest of the day?” I asked, tilting my head up.
“Oh, our day isn’t over, my dear. I’ve got something else planned before we go back to the boat.” Jay winked, and I just shook my head. There was no telling what this man had planned for us, but so far everything he’d done had been great, so I was just going to trust him wholeheartedly. I closed my eyes and settled back into Jay’s lap, enjoying the moment. I hadn’t allowed myself to imagine how it would feel to be back in his arms before this trip. I knew it would just cause me more pain to dream about something that I could no longer have, but now ... I couldn’t stop my mind from imagining a future with him. I wanted him for longer than just five days; I wanted him forever. I was so screwed.
The boat dropped us off where we had started, and as everyone else turned to the right to either head into town or back onto the shuttle, Jay took my hand, leading me to the left and onto the beach. The day was gorgeous. The sun was high in the sky with sporadic clouds floating by, casting shadows on the ground below. The breeze coming off the ocean was light, but just enough to cool you down. I wasn’t sure if the plan was for us to just walk on the beach or not, but I would be happy just the same if it was.
We walked hand in hand, stopping here and there whenever Jay found a shell that he wanted to pick up, placing them in his pocket before continuing on our way. We approached a large tent in a secluded area, and just as I started to walk around it, Jay tugged my arm and smiled. “We’re here.”
“What is this?” I walked around the front of it, peeking inside to find two massage tables side by side. Small LED candles flickered next to several bunches of fresh flowers. There was a pitcher with lemonade and two glasses sitting on a table next to a small platter of fresh fruit. “Oh my god, Jay! You did this?” I stepped through the opening of the tent, turning in a circle until I was facing him. It was all so incredible and thoughtful.
“It was my idea, but I needed help executing it. Do you like it?” He looked so proud of himself. My heart swelled at the thought he had put into today.
“Like it? Love it is more like it. Can we eat that?” I pointed at the fruit.
“Yes.” He chuckled, leading me to the chair and taking the one across from it. “This is all ours. We have about twenty minutes before it’s time for our massages.”
I put a piece of fresh mango in my mouth and groaned. “I could so get used to this.”
“Me too.” Jay poured me a glass of lemonade and sat back, nibbling on a large chunk of melon. “Have you met Matt’s boyfriend?”
I loved the fact that Jay wanted to know more about Matt. He was an important part of my life, and if Jay was going to be back in my life, too, he would have to understand that. I nodded. “He came out to visit a handful of times.” I took a sip of the cold lemonade, with just enough sweetness and tang. “It was hard for them to be around each other and pretend they weren’t in love.” Out of nowhere, a vision of me being back home and seeing Jay with someone else ran through my mind, and I was surprised at how much even the fleeting thought still hurt. It was that idea that led me to run so many years ago. One that I was obviously still carrying.
Thankfully, a man and woman entered the tent just then, pulling shut the opening. They handed each of us a sheet and stepped back out. “I guess we are supposed to get undressed now.” Jay waggled his eyebrows at me, and I giggled, turning my back to him and wrapping the sheet over my shoulders as I slid off my bathing suit and shorts. When I finished, I turned to lie down on the bed, but not before I caught a glimpse of his thick muscular thighs and tight butt. Wow, he certainly had filled out!
“Sneak,” Jay grumbled as he lay down, and I couldn’t help but bury my face in the round pillow on the bed to try to muffle my laugh. The two masseuses came back in, turning on a small fan, and then soft music. The feel of my muscles relaxing as the woman worked them was exquisite. Turning my head to the left, my eyes locked on Jay’s.
The feelings coursing through me were overwhelming, and as I looked at him, I knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that I was still hopelessly in love with this man. Instead of feeling happy, I felt almost sick to my stomach as the years of heartache came back. What would happen when we were off this cruise? I had no idea what Jay wanted. We hadn’t even broached the subject. All I knew was that my heart was in it too far, and I needed to walk away before he could hurt me again. I felt tears threaten to spill over as Jay reached out and took my hand. I closed my eyes, unable to look at him anymore, knowing now that I was going to walk away again.
***
“Are you sure you’re okay, Abby?” Jay asked again as we made our way back onto the ship.
“I’m good. I’m just not feeling well. I think I may have gotten too much sun. I’m just going to go back to my room.” I forced a smile as we continued up the stairs.
“I’ll bring you some soup and something to drink,” he offered.
“No, please don’t.”
“Abby?” I kept walking, afraid to look at him. “Damn it, Abby, stop!”
I spun around, hands on my hips. “I told you I wasn’t feeling good, Jay. I just want to be alone.” I fought back the tears as Jay still looked at me with such concern.
“Please, Abby. Don’t do this.”
“Do what? God, Jay, if you can’t even give me a little bit of space, then I don’t think this is going to work.” I turned and walked off, leaving him behind, unable to turn around and see him. The tears fell as I chastised myself for being such a coward. This time, the pain I felt was brought on only by me. For someone with a degree in counseling, I sure had managed to screw up my own life pretty damn
well.
Chapter 10
Jay
Okay, I know I had missed signals before with Abby, but I wasn’t a complete idiot. I knew when somebody was lying, but the problem was that I had no idea why she suddenly felt the need to get away from me. Our day had been fantastic ... better than fantastic. I saw the way she looked at me. I felt it in my soul. She loved me, but something had her spooked.
I sat at our table in the dining room and looked at the empty seat across from me, knowing she wouldn’t show up. “Fuck!” I mumbled.
“Well, that is hardly proper dinner language, Jayson,” Mellie scolded as she sat down.
“I’m sorry, Mellie,” I apologized quickly.
“Well, out with it. What has you up in a roar tonight, young man? What did you do this time?”
I chuckled. “Why do you always assume I did something, Mellie?” I took a drink of my water, thinking that I probably needed something a bit stronger tonight. Maybe I just needed to get wasted and try to forget how fucked up my life had quickly become.
“Honey, I’ve been married for almost sixty years, and I have found one thing to be pretty consistent; it usually is the man’s fault. You’d do good to remember that little lesson.” She winked and then rolled her eyes when her husband cleared his throat next to her, as if to remind her that he could hear her. “So, Jayson, what did you do?”
I proceeded to spill the events of the past day, ending with how Abby excused herself abruptly when we got back on the ship. By the time I was finished, our food had arrived, so I allowed Mellie to eat without the disruption of my soap opera life.
“You know what I think?” Mellie finally spoke as dessert was set in front of us. I had almost forgotten that I had told her everything, with her being uncommonly quiet throughout dinner.
An Unexpected Journey: A Second Chance Novella Page 4