by Kells, India
“You may not know it yet because you’re a little slow, let’s put that on the table, but I have seen my fair share of strange or macabre or down out wrong in my life. I may be a woman, but I’m a human first and like you, I’m capable of the best, and most often, the worst. If you wish, we can discuss it at a later date. For your information, I don’t get scared so easily. So go in the shower and start talking, sailor.”
As Sully passed her to get to the shower, he couldn’t resist but taste her lips again. In case it was the last time. God, he loved their connection, the unexplainable link he felt, from the moment she walked in that prison, with a crazy flowery dress and bulging belly. When Gabrielle moaned, her tongue darting into his mouth, he answered back, his jeans getting tighter. He was debating between releasing her towel and freeing himself when she broke the kiss with a sigh.
“Shower. Now.” She smiled and moved away, going to take his place on the toilet. Opening a nearby cupboard, she found a hair brush. As he undressed, Sully risked a look and was pleased to see her eyes linger on his body—a slow, hungry caress.
“You have a tattoo. I haven’t seen it before.”
Sully turned to peek at his lower right hip. “Yeah, I wasn’t into ink, but it seemed fitting.” The Norse symbol design had turned into a pale blue with the years.
“What is it?”
Sully turned the water on and entered the bath before closing the curtain. “A sign for friendship.”
The water was hot, almost scalding his skin, but he needed it bad. The sting. He let the silence stretch for a while as he cleaned up, then he started to talk.
“I was young when I decided to enroll. I came from a difficult background. Bad family, bad neighborhood. At some point when you’re surrounded by the worst of society, you come to think you are, too. It’s in your DNA and you will eventually turn out that way. Well, at a very early age, I was convinced of it. One night, my older brother, Michael, came back home, high as a kite. I had never seen him that way. He didn’t recognize me and was hallucinating, thinking I was about to kill him, or worse, stealing from him. Christ! I think I was ten years old. He started beating me, punching me until I couldn’t breathe, until I couldn’t see a thing through the tears and the pain. My mom stopped him at some point, but I couldn’t tell the exact moment. When she saw the state I was in, the only thing she said was it would do me good to know what pain felt like and how to fight back. My old man only laughed, as if it was the best joke in the world. He was definitely drunk, and as Michael had paid for his beer. My older brother could do no wrong.”
The memory was not as gut-wrenching as he had anticipated. It might help him to continue, but was she still even there?
“I’m still listening, sailor.” Her voice had that soft quality he liked so much. Soothing, but alert. Waiting.
“My brother was a drug dealer, dreaming big dreams and wanting more money with each passing minute. I was in such admiration of him, like any little brother would. I loved him, and I would do anything for him, despite the beatings. But it was only illusions. I knew deep down who he was and it wasn’t the path I wanted to take. So I laid low, going to school enough to get the grades and hoping for a revelation.”
“You found it? That revelation?”
“I found it … in a way nobody should. I don’t know why, but one night I followed Michael, from a good safe distance. He was twenty and a real thug, blazing a bloody path of his choosing. With the years, I hoped to be accepted by him, to be accepted by my big brother. I was going on seventeen the following day and in the back of my mind, I thought of it as a turning point. Stupid of me. I found him in a warehouse; some sort of headquarters for the gang he was working for. I heard his voice, and many others. And screams. Women screaming. When I could get to a window and see what was happening, it destroyed me. My big brother and his buddies were raping two scared girls. No more than teenagers. The more they screamed, the more they laughed. I was disgusted. So that was my blood? Who I could become? The pride and joy of my fucked up family? I couldn’t stay there and do nothing. I had to act. I had learned some nice stuff in our mechanics classes. So I short-circuited the electricity in the building. Sparks flew and the screaming stopped. And then, I ran away. I ran until I couldn’t feel my legs and until I finally couldn’t run anymore. When my head cleared, I was in front of the sea. I sat there for a while, wishing I would run on water and escape even farther. Then it clicked. I wasn’t stuck. I had an escape door from all this. So I ran again to the closest Navy recruitment office, faked by parents’ signature, and enrolled.”
“Nice story. I like it, Sully.”
He smiled. “For the first time, I felt I had a say in my life. I trained, I learned, and I was part of a brotherhood. And to top it off, I was good at it. All my frustration could be channeled somehow. Some years later, I decided to further my training and become a SEAL. The best decision of my life. And the worst training of my life, too. But I never feared pain or difficulty. Not anymore. I could never suffer as I did earlier in my life. I knew it for a fact. That’s where I met Lance, who became my swim buddy and closest friend. I was in my early twenties and he was going on thirty. He was everything Michael wasn’t. In a way, he healed many of the wounds from my childhood. My whole SEAL Team helped. I was surrounded with people who were loyal, dedicated, and honorable. I had achieved it; I had changed my path. Mine couldn’t have been further apart than my older brother’s now. But it was about to take another turn.”
Sully exhaled and put his hands on the wall, letting the water spray massage his head and neck. “The missions we did at that time took a toll. I can never tell you what we did, but each of them repeatedly sliced our souls deep and affected the members of our team differently. I remember one guy from the team, drinking himself almost to death. Another divorced from his wife. It was the worst time. I was tired and shaken, too. But Lance … he took everything hard. And the more he sunk in what seemed like depression, the more I stuck close. We went bar hopping together, and God knows I found comfort in every female’s arms I could find. Lance returned to his apartment, alone and each time more depressed.
“One morning, we were due to report for special underwater training with Admiral Feander. I had never worked with him, but heard a great deal about him. I was thrilled to collaborate with him, even if only for a training mission. I went to get Lance. He didn’t answer. When I entered, the lights were off, the curtains drawn, and he was lying on the couch. He wasn’t dressed yet, only wearing pajama bottoms. There were bottles everywhere.
“I shook him. He wasn’t drunk. Not anymore. When he opened his eyes, I didn’t like what I saw. There I saw pure determination, a final decision. That’s when he told me he was quitting the Teams. My world shifted. I think it was the first time I ever felt panic. He told me he couldn’t continue to live a lie. And he told me he was gay. It should have surprised me, but it didn’t. I didn’t fucking care. He said hiding all the time made his life feel like hell and he wanted out. The more he talked, the angrier he was, as if the pressure that had been building got out. A release valve. I became angry, too; angrier by the minute. So I tried to force him to reconsider. And he grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me.”
Sully couldn’t believe he was telling her. And he was even more surprised to see he wasn’t about to self-combust from it either.
“I was a hot mess. I didn’t think straight. Or maybe I was. I kissed him back. God knows, I’m not into men, but at that moment, with Lance … I didn’t feel weird, or awkward. I was feeling angry, exhilarated, and aroused. Shit! I had sex with Lance.”
Sully paused, waiting for a response from Gabrielle.
“You didn’t have sex with Lance.”
“Oh, honey, I assure you—”
“You made love with Lance, Sully. That is the difference.”
Her affirmation punched him straight in the gut.
“Hell, Gabrielle … I couldn’t help myself. Our connection was strong. Hardship tends to do that. And you�
��re right, I loved him. On so many levels, it was scary. When we lay naked on the ground, spent, breathing so hard as if we had run a marathon in less than an hour, we didn’t hear the door. Hours had passed and Admiral Feander had decided to search for us. And he found us there, sweaty on the floor.”
“Shit!”
A laugh burst out of him. “Yeah, or so I thought. But the admiral is an intelligent man. He ordered us to dress and hurry our sorry asses to his jeep. We jumped into our fatigues at lightning speed. He didn’t say a word. The training he had planned with the group was already over, but he made us do it all over again and worked us on that beach until we fell on our knees and puked. As we ran endless laps, my brain processed more clearly. What happened in Lance’s apartment, I didn’t regret. However, I realized that it was not what I was searching for. Obviously a one-time occurrence in my mind. I didn’t over analyze it, but part of me expressed something there. Something I needed. When the admiral let us go, without even a word on the morning incident, I decided to talk to Lance about it.”
“And I guess he didn’t take it well.”
“That’s a mild way of putting it. I broke his heart. He revealed to me he was in love with me for years now. When we had sex, he started to hope like crazy. And even if I tried to lay him down gently, it was painful for him. The morning after, I went to see Admiral Feander, explaining the situation, trying to take the blame, but Lance had beaten me to it. The evening before, he went to talk with the admiral and resigned from the Teams.”
“What did the admiral do to you?”
“He assigned me to one of his covert squad. It protected me somehow. I don’t know if he ever believed my side of the story, but I was grateful for his trust.”
“And Lance? Did you have contact with him before now?”
“The admiral refused his resignation and reassigned him to a special task force under his command. When Lance started explaining his sudden decision and the change in our friendship with me being a bastard, I didn’t mind. If it would help him out, I would gladly endure. I kept track of him, but never contacted him. I missed him as a friend. I missed the connection, one I never thought I would find again. Until now … with you.”
Okay, now he had said it.
Silence again. He hesitated between turning the water off, yanking her in with him, or running out buck naked. However, he wouldn’t have to make the decision. The air shifted and he felt her come in the shower behind him. Gone was the towel as Gabrielle entered and pressed her naked skin again his back. When she hooked her arms around his waist, he felt her pressing her cheek between his shoulder blades. He exhaled deeply, his hand covering hers as he leaned back into her embrace.
“So, I gather you don’t mind me not being a cheating bastard to my best friend anymore?”
“I don’t mind you being you, Sully. You’re a good man. I know that. And I’m a great believer in the saying that nobody’s perfect. You have a good heart. I envy you.”
Gabrielle tightened her grip for an instant and Sully wondered what she meant, but before he could ask, she released him.
“We’ve been away a long time. We better go back.” She rubbed herself hastily and dressed.
As he stepped out, she paused in front of the door.
“So no fiancée. You take the blame every time Lance tells that lie. You continue to protect him, even though he worsens your reputation each time. Why?”
Sully took her discarded towel. “First, because I didn’t want to contact him, making him suffer more because of me. Second, I didn’t mind the untruth so much. Well, until now.”
Turning, Gabrielle smirked at him. “And you still deny you’re a good man … You crazy sailor.”
***
Alie and Luke were still asleep when Sully emerged from the bathroom. All was silent, calm. The girl seemed at peace. Sully had feared the contractions would turn out to be the real deal. He wanted Alie safe, but would gladly avoid a full blown delivery. Perhaps he had found the one thing that made his blood freeze in his veins.
In the corner, he saw Gabrielle, checking her ammo on one of the cots. He touched his own gun in his pocket and went to join her.
“Lie down.”
Gabrielle frowned at her. “You cannot possibly fit—”
“Yeah, all the girls I’ve been with had that fear, but I’ll prove it wrong again with you.”
“You’re impossible.” But there was, beyond a doubt, laughter in her voice.
“That too. Scoot now, my lady.”
The space was snug, but he didn’t care, every inch of her back was against every inch of his front and not a single cell minded.
“Stop fidgeting, honey.”
“I’m not fidgeting; I’m trying not to fall off the bed.”
Sully silenced her by throwing his arm around her waist. He may have heard her purr when he buried his nose in her hair before dozing off.
He had no clue how long he slept, but something made him emerge. It was a strange noise, like a scratch. Gabrielle’s breathing changed, telling him she was awake, too. His hand went to his gun.
“Heard that?” he whispered against her head and she nodded. The scratching turned into light tapping. Immediately, he relaxed. “It’s Lance.”
They got up, and one glimpse at Alie and Luke told him they hadn’t heard the strange noise. As a precaution, he drew his weapon and came closer to the door. He scratched a few times and tapped an answer.
Gabrielle came behind him. “How can you be sure it’s Lance?”
Sully turned and smiled. “I asked him to tell me the length of my dick.”
He loved how she blinked and poked his rib when she realized he was teasing her. “I asked him the exact date he and I became official Navy SEALs. And he got it right. Now he’s telling me he’s alone with an extraction van waiting outside.”
Sure there was no trap, he opened the door and when he saw Lance—his friend, his long lost friend—his heart squeezed hard in his chest. His buddy had not changed a bit; he was still the blond giant he had always been with his strong features and husky-blue eyes. Sully stood still for a moment, and when he felt the warm hand of Gabrielle on the small of his back, he kicked into gear again.
“Lance.” He extended his hand and waited. His friend’s stone face looked back at him and at his hand. And he finally grasped it. Lance had not changed at all, a blond war machine. He often heard women referring to him as a Norse god, whatever that meant.
“Thorne.” Sully ignored the fact that he used his surname.
“Thank you for coming. For helping us.”
Lance nodded and examined the room before turning his attention to Gabrielle.
“Ma’am. I’m Lance Sorenson. I see you’re not the one I need to extract. Would you be so kind to wake them up and explain what is going to happen?”
Gabrielle glanced at Sully before nodding back at Lance. It was obvious his former swim buddy wanted to talk to him and he was ready for anything.
The Norse SEAL folded his arms and studied Gabrielle as she gently woke up Luke, avoiding looking at Sully.
“I have contacted Alie’s father, and he’s at the M’kiri Hospital. My men are waiting one mile from here. I have two backup choppers if necessary with a medic on board.”
Sully nodded. “You were always the one coming on prepared. Thinking about all the possibilities, knowing all the outcomes.”
“Not all of them.”
Whoa, that’s a loaded reply. “Lance—”
“Stop. It’s been years now. And what happened between us—”
“I shouldn’t have, Lance. It destroyed something invaluable to me. That’s what I regret.”
Lance nodded, but didn’t turn to him yet. “I know. I miss us, too. And I’m sorry. I put you in an impossible situation. I risked both our careers. I was in a bad place, man. Very bad.”
Sully agreed, “I wasn’t so stellar either. I feel I should have protected you, from everything, from me, and from yourself.”
>
Lance stared at him now. “You did. You stayed and you cared. Hell, you even defended me, risking your career. That’s why I had to set the record straight with Feander and go away. Set my emotions straight and find out who I was. Now I know. Now I’m at peace. I’m glad you called to ask for my help.” Lance clasped his shoulder and Sully returned the gesture. Somehow, the world stopped spinning and Sully could smile.
“Glad you’re back, buddy.” And Sully couldn’t help but take this man, his brother, in his arms.
Lance laughed a little. “Don’t get any ideas, man.”
Sully clapped his back before releasing him.
“I have an unanswered question, though. That you don’t have to answer if it’s going to return us into weird silence.”
“After what we have gone through together, I don’t think we can ever revert back to the weirdness,” Sully replied.