She couldn’t die.
She just… She couldn’t.
Could she?
The thought made me want to sob, but that was the life. People died. I’d just never thought Stone would be one of them when she was a hundred miles away from the Sinners’ compound.
Four
Steel
Before
“Bear?”
The Prez raised his head, his brows lowering as he stared at me. “Steel? You okay, son?”
We weren’t related, but Bear always treated Rex’s friends as if they were his kids. I didn’t know why, had no clue why he always called us ‘son,’ but at that moment, that he did was particularly fucking painful.
The time I’d been recovering from a steel plate to the head pretty much covered exactly how painful this was.
I felt it like a knife to the gut, a knee to the balls.
I had never given a fuck about who my father was before, but now that I had an answer to the question in my mind, it resonated with me in ways I just couldn’t let go of.
If anyone would know who sired me, it’d be Bear. Bear knew everything. I wasn’t sure how, but he and Rex were cut from the same cloth, and when, one day, Rex took over the position of Prez, when Bear was comfortable in letting shit slide toward his son or if, God forbid, he died, I knew Rex would rule in the same way.
Knowing everything, controlling it all, and making it look fucking easy as he kept his hands on all the puppet strings.
I pretty much staggered into the office, an office that hadn’t changed in years, and when Bear studied me, his bushy brows doing the fucking tango as he took me in, I begged, “Who’s my father?”
The begging tone didn’t suit me. Sinners didn’t plead for anything. Not for mercy or for cunt.
But in this, I pleaded. And I’d carry on doing so because the prospect of sharing DNA with that sick fuck?
Hell. On. Earth.
He tensed at my question, his back straightening up, and the distance he shoved between us by leaning back and away from me was the first nail in the coffin.
He knew.
And when he lied, saying, “Steel, what are you bringing that up for?” I knew it was because he didn’t know what else to say.
He didn’t want to admit to the truth, not when it had repercussions past me finding out who my sperm donor had been.
I felt itchy all over, like my skin was too tight for my frame, and I dipped my chin at him, grinding out, “Don’t bullshit me, Bear.”
“Don’t use that tone with me,” he barked. “I’m your fucking Prez. Don’t forget about that.”
My jaw tensed, and I stabbed the air in front of me with my finger. “You know who he is.”
“Your ma was club snatch, son. How the fuck am I supposed to know who she spread her legs for?”
Another time, I might have thought he was trying to divert me by casting accusations at my mom’s nature, but who the fuck was I kidding?
She was a slut.
Had been born from one, had died one. I’d probably be in her image if I had a pussy. Instead, I had a dick, thank fuck for that.
I gritted my teeth, and whispered, “Lana Jane told me Kevin was my father.”
“You know not to mention that fucker’s name inside these walls,” Bear rasped, his leonine head turning bright red as he stared at me, earnest anger growing at my daring to voice the sick fuck’s name in his presence.
When Nyx had killed Kevin, he’d done so in a way that could look accidental. The fuck went hunting, Nyx messed with his shotgun, and boom, the kickback had separated Kevin’s skull from his neck.
Bear had gotten involved though, because the police had come sniffing around, wanting to know if Kevin had ties to the MC.
He didn’t. He was the brother of an MC brother, but that didn’t make him a part of the club.
Bear had to grease some palms, avert the investigation away from the Sinners, and all the while, he’d known, just like everyone else had, Nyx’s Pop included, that Nyx had done what no one else had.
Taken out the goddamn trash.
My skin started itching again, and the buzz in my head made me feel like I was high. I’d smoked some weed before I patched in as a Prospect, and this was pretty much how I’d felt back then.
Like I was losing my mind.
I was a control freak by nature, liked to keep all my ducks in a row, and I didn’t even like to get that drunk, but the fuzzies from beer and vodka were nothing compared to this.
I knew, point blank, that tonight, I’d be getting shit-faced because I had to. I had to do something to beat back these thoughts that were crowding me like a circle of demons intent on eating my soul.
“He’s my father, isn’t he?” I rasped, softer this time, calm when I felt anything but.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why do you wanna rake up this shit, boy?”
“Because Lana Jane fucking told me. Said if she’d known I was cut from the same fucking cloth as my daddy, she’d have fucking sold me Stone years ago.”
Bear tensed at that, and if I’d thought he was angry before, that was nothing compared to now. A vein started pulsing at his temple, and his entire being seemed to swell with his rage.
We all knew the story.
Bear was pretty playful with the kids, a joker among his men, kind to the Old Ladies, unless they started getting too big for their boots…until he wasn’t playful, kind, or a joker. Until the bear came out and he’d kill to defend and protect the people in his care.
“She said those specific words?”
His grating question filled me with relief. “She did.”
His eyes flickered from left to right, darting around as he processed shit that only he knew—the things that entered the Prez’s vault that lived between his ears.
He didn’t say anything, but I knew he’d be saying shit to Lana Jane, and probably Stone too—asking if anyone had touched her.
Stone was like a daughter to him. She’d always hung around us. Tagging behind when she was younger, and along when she was older.
We were used to her being around, and what had started as her helping us with our homework at school—because the kid was fucking smart and we were the opposite of book smart, except for Mav and Rex—had turned into her always being there.
Bear wasn’t the only one who’d castrate any motherfucker who’d dared touch her.
“Explain to me what happened,” he rumbled.
My brow furrowed, but I admitted, “I went to ask her out on a date.”
His eyes narrowed. “Thought you were tutoring her for math?”
“I was.” It was the one subject that she couldn’t get a hold on, and I was good at it—I’d sat up half the fucking night learning the shit so I could teach it to her in a way that she’d be able to learn. Math, for me, was instinctive. I just got it. But that didn’t help her, did it?
“And you went to ask her for a date?”
My nod had him tipping his chin up. “You better not be fucking around with her, Steel.”
I scowled at him. “The second she’s sixteen, I was going to fucking claim her. At eighteen, I was gonna make her my Old Lady.”
His squinty-eyed look morphed into a swift grin. “About time you saw the lay of the land—”
I shook my head. “This changes shit, Bear. This changes everything. I ain’t gonna claim her if Kevin is my father.”
Bear scowled back at me. “Fuck, Steel, any sperm donor does exactly that—donates fucking cum. It takes more than that to become—”
“To become what? I’ve always fucking wanted her. Since she grew a set of tits and an ass.” My mouth worked. “What if I’m like him?”
His brows lowered. “You didn’t act on it.”
“Of course I didn’t,” I snarled. “She’s still a kid now. I wasn’t going to push shit anyway, just wanted a fucking kiss.”
He scraped a hand over his chin. “I was fifteen when I met Rene, and she was thirteen. It felt weird t
hen, even though it was only two years, because in our world, two years means a fuck ton of a difference. I was a man at fifteen, but she wasn’t a woman. It felt wrong, and I avoided her and my feelings for her. That’s what men of honor do, Steel. That’s exactly what you did, but you’re wrong.
“Stone ain’t like Rene. She’s a woman. Her bitch of a mother saw to that, exposing her to the shit she did, and I wish that weren’t true, but there’s only so much I can fucking do. I ain’t running a daycare here—” He blew out a breath. “But you ain’t nothing like your father.”
Our eyes clashed and held, and suddenly, there was a chasm between us. A whole fucking world, because he’d just confirmed it.
My father was—
I couldn’t say it.
Wouldn’t say it again.
But I knew.
He knew.
And the apology in his eyes killed me.
I scraped a hand over my face, trying to hide the tears in my eyes. “I understand if you want my cut,” I said stiffly. “And if you want to watch me around the kids, I get it.”
“Fuck, son, you ain’t like him.” He burst upright, looming over the desk as he growled, “I wouldn’t have given you a cut if I thought you were—”
“Steel, don’t be stupid.”
The voice stunned me, and I whipped around, horrified to see that Rex was sitting there in the corner of the office, still as a rock.
I gaped at him, unbelieving that he was here to hear this shit. That he witnessed my downfall.
I’d never been more mortified or humiliated in my entire life.
He grimaced with apology, but I didn’t stick around to hear shit.
I just took off. Shame beyond belief roared through me, to the point where I heard nothing, saw nothing, just darted into the bar, grabbed three bottles of vodka from behind the counter, rushed out of the clubhouse, and jumped onto my hog.
I had no idea where I was going, what I was going to do either, but I just knew that I needed out of here, stat.
Five
Steel
Today
I yawned past the jet lag, because to be honest, I was well rested. I’d been fed like a fucking prince on that plane, and my seat? The best couple of grand I could imagine spending, because I’d slept like a baby all while getting to drink the good shit.
I’d even had fucking champagne and caviar served by a pretty doll who’d sucked me off like a champion.
Close to purring at the memory, I washed my hair and started rinsing off. One thing that hadn’t changed by shifting up a couple of classes from the cattle mart of economy—the stink.
What the fuck was it about planes that made you stink like shit?
The air was controlled and filtered, the temperature regulated…so what the hell was that about?
As I cleaned off, I heard someone pounding on my door, but I ignored it. A man’s shower was sacrosanct, for fuck’s sake. If ever there was time for a moment’s peace, it was now.
Contemplating jacking off, or alternatively calling in JoJo or Jingle and having one of them suck me off because my balls were aching again, I soaped up my belly, and then I heard it.
“Steel! You open the motherfucking door right now!”
That was Rex.
My brows rose at the fact that he was hollering at me through the closed door, because Rex rarely raised his voice.
For a second, I was unsure what to fucking do, then I unfroze when I realized I had to act.
Shutting off the water, I heard him better now, and I grabbed a towel, dragged it around my waist, then grabbed another and draped it over my shoulders as I strode into the bedroom and yanked the door open after I unlocked it.
“What the fuck?”
Rex was pale, his features pinched, and his face was lined with both fury and…terror.
“What the fuck is it, Rex?” I snapped, freaked out by the state of him.
“Stone…she’s been kidnapped.”
My mouth worked. “The Famiglia? Those fucking cunts. I’ll skin the bastards alive—”
Even as I spoke, I was turning my back to him as I headed toward the dresser to get some jeans and a shirt to cover up with.
But before I dropped the towel, Rex ground out, “No. Someone at the hospital took her.”
I whipped around at that. “What? Who the fuck took her from the hospital?”
“I don’t know. Nyx is trying to figure that out. Trying to see if he can get in touch with someone who will give us access to the CCTV footage, but—”
“But what?”
Rex blew out a breath. “She was on the phone with Indy.”
I stilled at that. “What was she doing calling Indy? Was there a problem?”
Rex waved a hand. “Indy insists that they were talking, then mid-sentence, Stone just stopped.”
My brow puckered. “Stone wouldn’t do that. We all know how Indy is.”
“Yeah. We do.” His mouth tightened. “But she did. She just cut her off, and that was that. Indy contacted the hospital, asked them to page her, but when Nyx called again, the receptionist said that they couldn’t get in touch with her.”
“That doesn’t mean someone’s taken her—”
“No, it doesn’t, but I know something’s been weird with her for a few days now.”
As confusion started to welter up inside me, I stared at my Prez.
Fear and panic were shoved aside as doubt laced my words. “You stay in touch with her?”
“You know I fucking do.” His nostrils flared. “Now isn’t the time to be getting into this shit.”
“Isn’t it? Sure as fuck feels like this is pertinent to the facts. You fucker, you know I kept her out of the MC on purpose!”
“I just fucking told you this has nothing to do with the Famiglia!”
“Bullshit. Of course it is. We go to war, and then one of our own gets taken? So soon after Lily and Tiff were kidnapped?”
“You know why they were. Stone has no ties to anyone.”
“She has ties to us, you dumb piece of shit. That’s enough for these people. And she’s even easier. She’s in New York. Christ, all they have to do is go down the fucking street to snatch her.” I rubbed my brow, trying to figure this out, trying to figure out a way of getting her back. I’d never figured they’d be interested in her. If I had, she’d have had a guard. “I can pull some contacts, get someone to break rank to confirm they have her—”
Rex shook his head. “I think Indy is right. Stone called me the other day, your last night in Cambodia. I knew something was wrong with her, and she was pretty closemouthed—”
“As per fucking usual.”
Rex shook his head and sealed a nail in his coffin. “Not with me.”
“You fuck, are you seeing her? You know she’s mine.”
The words spewed out of me, even though I hadn’t meant to let them. The truth was, Stone had been mine for as long as she’d been alive, and I was the one who was sacrificing my fucking world for her sake.
Yet, here this cunt was, trying to take my woman away from me, all while dragging her into the life I was trying to save her from.
It was bad enough the first thing she’d done was go to Rex to get him to fund her med degree and all the other shit she needed to become a doctor.
She was tied to us in ways I’d never be able to totally sever, but that was one thing.
This was another.
Just thinking of Stone and Rex fucking had me seeing red, and when I slammed my fist into his face, I didn’t even fucking remember leaping across the room.
When I went to hit him again, I heard a, “Holy shit!” and then there was a palm catching my fist and shoving me back and away.
Within seconds, four or five brothers were in my bedroom, keeping me apart from Rex, who didn’t even bother to catch the blood that was dripping down his face from my punch.
He glared at me, anger and irritation working their way into his expression, but he snarled, “Get your shit to
gether, Steel. No, I’m not fucking Stone. She’s like my goddamn sister. You should know that. And you should also know that if you’re too chicken shit to claim her, then one of these days when she stops being so involved in school, when she stops thinking about work and only work and that fucking cat of hers, that someone is going to come along and snatch her right out from under you.”
“That’s what I’ve wanted all along, just not someone from the life,” I snarled at him, furious that he was bringing this shit up at all.
For once in my life, I didn’t care that Hawk, Cruz, Sin, Link, and Jaxson were the ones to overhear this shit. Didn’t give a fuck about anyone knowing my business.
I was just pissed that Rex was shoving this shit in my face, the bastard.
My fists ached with how hard I clenched them, my knuckles pinging to life as they absorbed how hard I’d smacked the fuck out of Rex.
But it wasn’t enough.
“If I find out you’ve been fucking her—”
He sneered, “You’ll what? Do fucking nothing, that’s what you always do where she’s concerned. If a real man decided to take her off the fucking singles market, then good for them. I won’t be that guy, because she’s my goddamn sister, and I swear to fuck, if you try to hit me again, I will break your hand.” He growled under his breath at me, then snapped, “Okay, you listening with something other than your cock? I’m telling you that someone has her. It isn’t Famiglia related. It has to do with this shit at the hospital.
“She happened to mention something to me the last time we talked, and I looked into it. There are a lot of fucking deaths going on in that ward of hers. Like, more than usual. And they tend to cluster around certain times, and when certain people are on the ward.”
I shook my head at that, because there were more investigations going on than he was letting on if he could just reel off that information that way. Scowling at him, I barked, “You thought she was in danger?”
He gritted his teeth. “I thought it might be a possibility.”
Steel: A Dark MC Romance (A Dark and Dirty Sinners’ MC Book 4) Page 7