‘Do I have pen on my forehead?’ Ade frowns as my eyes dart back to her eyebrows. I can’t get over how well they work with her features now. ‘I was drawing on the plane.’
I shake my head. I don’t know what to say. You look different seems superficial after everything. Must. Not. Act. Like. A. Freak. About. Adriana’s. New. Look.
Seriously though, it’s disorientating. It was like I knew her and I didn’t. It was like someone had taken my best friend’s brain and mannerisms and loaded them into a completely new body.
I can tell Mum is reeling too, now she’s greeted Daniel and taken in Adriana. Mum’s not one to show everything on her face, but I can see it in her eyes.
‘Sweetie, you’ve shot up!’ she laughs as Adriana bends down to hug her. ‘Daniel, we always thought she’d missed your tall genes and would take after Sofia.’
There’s an awkward moment as we all picture Adriana’s mum. I realise the eyebrows, cheekbones and lips are all hers. My stomach suddenly feels hollow. I don’t know how Adriana copes with remembering anything. If she thinks of her mum’s smile, does she always think of the last time she saw it? When she thinks of her voice — that dramatic half-Spanish, half-English echoing through the house, always laughing or singing — does she always come back to the fact that she never got to say a proper goodbye?
I remember Mum’s comment about Jefferson being steeped in memories for Daniel and Adriana.
‘Baggage,’ Daniel says. He’s all focus now.
As the four of us head downstairs to the baggage collection area, I try to lighten the mood. ‘We have a ridiculous amount of celebrity gossip to get through in the next thirty-six hours,’ I tell Adriana. ‘Not to mention school news. That useless internet connection means you haven’t heard a quarter of everything that happened while you were gone.’
‘I want to hear everything about Tatiana’s and Lana’s fight. I’m kind of rejoicing about that.’ Adriana suddenly looks guilty. ‘Does that make me an awful person? I’ve tried to move beyond the past while I was away — you know, be a bigger person and all.’
‘Um, no-one could blame us for rejoicing.’ Ade is too nice a person sometimes. ‘Straight up truth — Tatiana made our lives hell for six years. Maybe she’ll learn something out of the fight and wind up a better person. Unlikely, but you never know.’
‘I thought we’d have to wait till after high school for this,’ Adriana says, grabbing her backpack off the travelator. ‘You know, another decade or so, like in Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion.’
‘We are so watching that tonight by the way.’
Baggage in hand, we follow Mum and Daniel out of the airport to Mum’s car. People are still staring at Adriana. I can’t blame them. She looks so effortlessly beautiful. The type of girl that throws on a white T-shirt and a pair of denim shorts, scrapes her hair into a messy bun, and looks like the epitome of everything you want to be. The definition of ‘I woke up like this’ — an off-duty model.
Ade doesn’t seem to be registering any of the attention. A cute guy our age who’s walking in the opposite direction whips his head around like some super-bendy cartoon character. He doesn’t notice the metal railings dividing the car park from the pedestrian walkways, hits the bar with his hip and catches himself before he goes flying. Ade completely misses the look and the accident, shutting her car door as I’m staring after the guy.
Mum starts the car. ‘I’m a bit worried about you girls and that movie. What is it about that film that has you so obsessed?’
‘Revenge,’ Adriana and I say simultaneously, then crack up at Mum’s and Daniel’s expressions.
‘Should we be encouraging you two to hang out?’ Daniel jokes.
‘That movie got us through the start of high school,’ I point out. ‘It offers hope.’
‘Romy and Michele aren’t that bright,’ Mum says wryly. ‘I wouldn’t be taking them as role models.’
‘Mum, it’s a movie! Anyway, after a year and a half of isolation, Ade’s in serious need of some Hollywood tripe.’ I turn to her. ‘Mum’s words, not mine.’
‘You know we don’t take it seriously, Isobel,’ Adriana adds.
‘You girls can do anything you like.’ Mum’s smiling at us in the rear-view mirror.
‘Adriana, we haven’t agreed on you staying with Isobel,’ Daniel says. ‘I thought you might like to get used to the new place before school starts.’
Adriana makes a face. ‘I want to stay at Emily’s.’
Daniel turns round to smile at us. ‘Emily can stay too.’
‘No, Dad. I’m staying at Emily’s.’ She looks out the window, ending the conversation.
The car goes totally silent. Daniel raises his eyebrows at Mum. Mum gives him a smile and a shrug.
Why doesn’t Ade want to stay at the new place, I wonder. It looks awesome from the link Daniel sent us — a curving stairwell, wooden floors, even a pool. Plus, even though the new place is furnished, Adriana’s still got her old things in storage — her bedside lamp, the watercolour cushions, her paintings that her mum had framed.
I glance at her. Her jaw is set and she looks resolute — like an old-school Hollywood starlet freezing you out. For a moment she looks hard, like one of the Tens. I shiver, then remind myself that the only thing that’s changed is Ade’s outside. Underneath is the same marshmallow-soft centre — I know it.
Secret Thoughts of Adriana Andersson
Ninety-nine per cent of me is happy we’re back. It’s funny — you’d think one per cent wouldn’t make much of a difference to an overall feeling. I mean, think about it: one per cent cordial to ninety-nine per cent water is barely detectable — you can hardly taste it. So you’d think my ratio of ninety-nine per cent happy to one per cent uneasy should leave me feeling better than I did that moment in the car. But for some reason that one per cent has been sitting in the pit of my stomach since the plane took off from Kota airport. Watching the buildings disappear was the moment I realised my anonymity was about to disappear too. I’d got used to the fact that in Borneo nobody knew me. I mean, sure they knew me as Dr Andersson’s daughter, but they had no back story as I hadn’t grown up there. In essence, I was who I chose to be. But in Jefferson I have a history; indelible markings on me that mean everything I do will always be judged in contrast to what I did. Who I am, who I can or can’t be, seems so static.
And so, sitting there in seat 5A, that one per cent started to warp all the excitement I felt about heading back. I think of how Jefferson will feel without Mum in it. How we aren’t going back to our house. How it will feel to see Tatiana’s triumphant sneer every time we share a class. The Tens swanning around. Dylan.
The Dylan thing makes me sickest of all, as it sums up my patheticness. Every time a memory slips through the shield I’ve erected, I see the words lame, spineless, soft flashing like neon signs against it. I can write off Tatiana’s and Dylan’s behaviour — Tatiana’s Tatiana, Dylan is a clueless guy — but I can’t excuse my own. If I had a brain or some backbone, if I’d stood up for myself instead of being idiotically sensitive, maybe I wouldn’t have been as hideously embarrassed. That’s what kills me every time I think of it.
I want to forget the old Adriana existed. But I know that the second I step into Jefferson High, I’ll go back to being her. I could escape from myself in Borneo, but I can’t escape from myself at home. It’s ironic that after a year and a half of me praying Dad would come to his senses and decide to return to Jefferson, I just wanted the plane to turn around.
Then I thought of Emily. The longer I stay away, the harder it will be for us to stay close. Sure, we said we’ll never let anything come between us, especially kilometres, but it isn’t the same. Every day I was away was a day we missed out on our friendship as it should be. Watching DVDs together and discussing how hot Scott Eastwood is. Laughing over YouTube clips. Chatting online for hours even though we hung out all day already. Doubling over laughing as we compete with each other to create the ugli
est Snapchat pic. Shopping for clothes the Tens will make fun of, but not caring because we have each other.
Plus, the Year Ten formal is coming up — something we’ve obsessed about since we were eleven. We’ve hypothesised about who will be our date, whether he’ll bring a corsage, whether we’ll let him kiss us on the dance floor. What kind of scene the Tens will create. Whatever we imagine, we’re always together.
Now I have a chance to do all that with Emily. To finish high school together like we always wanted. I hate that she’s had to go it alone the last year and a half.
Jefferson High isn’t just Tatiana’s and Dylan’s world. It also belongs to me and Emily. Am I going to spend the rest of my life hiding out? Missing out on my world?
Staying away out of fear isn’t escaping old Adriana at all. It’s being her.
That’s the moment I decide. This is the year I’m going to stop taking crap.
2
ADRIANA
‘So the next minute Lana grabs Tatiana’s ponytail, gives it this huge tug and then cuts the whole thing off. She throws the hair right across the room, straight bang into the bin.’
‘Lana with athletic ability?’ I ask. I’m completely reeling at the story. If Emily hadn’t witnessed the whole thing, I would be wondering if the fight had reached folklore status. Lana and Tatiana are legendarily bitchy, but they usually put up a show of sweetness in front of the boys. An all-out catfight in the classroom is like Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl suddenly transforming into girls from Jersey Shore.
Emily laughs as she adds water to the pizza dough she’s making for dinner. She always takes on the dough-kneading solo, while I’m the ingredients expert. We’ve repeated this exercise about a thousand times since Isobel bought an outdoor pizza oven five years ago. ‘Lana decided she needed something that was “her thing”, and seeing as Tatiana loathes sports she chose netball. She’s seriously aggressive. You do not want to get in the way of those nails. Anyway, she has fantastic aim.’
‘So then what? I’m scared I’m relishing this too much, Em.’
‘You should be relishing,’ Emily says, starting to knead the dough. ‘I’ve been relishing on your and my behalf for the entire holiday. What goes around comes around. Anyway, after the hair hit the bin, Lana said, “That’s what happens to trash. Watch out, Tatiana.”’ She pauses for dramatic effect and slaps the dough onto the bench. She’s accident-prone so I’m hoping this batch won’t meet its fate on the floor. ‘She doesn’t mention anything about Luke, but she doesn’t need to as the whole room knows what she’s talking about.’
‘Would Tatiana go that far? Her best friend’s boyfriend?’
The Tens are always maintaining their friendships are untouchable. They’re always mock-crying over how amazing each of them is, or taking turns to give each other flowers for being ‘the ultimate!’ The recipient usually breaks down and says something like ‘I can’t even!’ while throwing her arms round whichever girl has done the giving. I’ve always felt icky watching them fawn over each other. Emily and I never do stuff like that in the middle of class. We don’t need to.
‘Tatiana’s been weeeird since she and that older guy broke up. She’s even more boy crazy.’ Emily adds more water to the dough, splashing half of it on the bench in the process. ‘But like sadistic crazy. She’s been flirting with all their boyfriends, which is why the other Tens were right behind Lana’s decision to hack Tat’s hair off.’
‘But she’s always been a flirt. I mean, those shirts. Do the boys still call her Tits instead of Tats behind her back?’
‘Yup.’ Emily rolls her eyes. ‘The meagre minds of our generation at work. Anyway, there’s a big difference between flirting and going up to Luke after swim practice and trailing her fingers down his chest to his stomach.’
‘Flirting versus a death wish. No wonder Lana lost it. You know, I’ve always felt bad for her. Luke must be a pain to deal with. Does he still have a picture of Candice Swanepoel as his iPad background instead of Lana?’
Emily nodded. ‘And he’s prolific on Instagram apparently — he’s constantly tagging all his buddies on shots of models’ boobs and bums. You can tell by Lana’s face sometimes that she wants to go mental at him, but she holds it together because his line is “Babe, so what if I’m looking? I’m with you.”’
‘True gentleman,’ I say.
‘I don’t know why she puts up with it. I’d rather be single. Although I’ve never had a boyfriend, so I guess I can’t talk. Sixteen and I can’t name one guy who’s had a crush on me. It was fine when we were thirteen, but it’s getting awkward now.’
‘Identical twin, sitting right in front of you.’
Emily looks meaningfully at me. ‘There’s no way that’ll be the case for long.’
I laugh ironically. ‘Yeah, after the whole He Who Shalt Not Be Named thing, I’m sure to be in high demand.’
‘Ade, seriously, you’re …’
She’s waiting for me to say something. ‘I’m what?’
‘Nothing.’ She looks embarrassed. ‘Anyways, I don’t know about the whole Tatiana-going-after-Luke thing. It was probably Tatiana upping her ego. That said, you remember how before Lana started in Year Two, Tatiana used to chase Luke for catch and kiss? She only gave that up after Lana and Luke played Nefertiti and the Pharaoh in that play we did.’
I laugh. ‘I still can’t believe we were cast as Tatiana’s slaves.’
‘At least we managed to swap her grape juice for tinted vinegar. Seeing her spit the stuff across the stage was one of the best moments of primary school.’
‘Anyone listening to this conversation would think we were the nasty ones,’ I say.
Em and I always talk about school stuff, but I hate feeling that we’re anything like the Tens. At the start of high school I suggested we stop mentioning Tatiana and Co in our conversations, but with all the stuff that went on, Emily and I felt like we’d go crazy if we didn’t talk about them. Somehow it became insurance against me crying in front of them, or Emily losing her temper and blurting out things we’d pay for down the track.
‘We gave five per cent of what those girls doled out,’ Emily says now. ‘I wasn’t going to stand back and take it all.’
Hearing her say that makes me feel sick. While I was off crying in the toilets, she was the one taking on the Tens. She was my lifesaver, but looking back I’m disgusted at how limpid I was.
‘So I understand why Lana cut Tat’s hair off,’ Emily adds. She puts the kneaded dough in a bowl and covers it with cling-wrap so it can rise.
‘I get it,’ I say, ‘but I still can’t believe it. I would have expected silent treatment or social-media mortification. Something more Ten-ish.’
Emily scrubs her hands clean. ‘I think it’s completely psycho, but totally genius. What are the Tens most proud of? Their stellar looks. Obviously that’s the ultimate target. If I was in that situation, scissors would be my weapon of choice.’
‘You’re scaring me.’ I pretend to get off my stool and creep away. ‘I never want to fight over a guy with you.’
Emily laughs. ‘Have we ever liked the same guy? You like blond hair and dimples, I like dark hair and soulful eyes. We never even liked the same One Direction guy.’
‘Hey, we both got obsessed with Theo James,’ I remind her as I sit back down. Our phone call post-Divergent (I watched it on a flight and she saw it at Jefferson’s outdoor cinema) killed Isobel’s phone bill and resulted in us being banned from the phone. After that, we were forced to communicate via messenger during the brief spikes of internet reception Dad and I got in Borneo, or worse, via snail mail.
Emily clutches her chest. ‘Theo James is one in a million.’
‘I was expecting you to dub him too generically attractive.’
‘Four’s got complexity, Ade.’ She stares dreamily into the distance. ‘Plus, that’s where the difference lies — we’re not actually liking the same guy in this situation. You like Theo James in real life, the ac
tor. Whereas I like Theo James as Four — all intensity. You’d be scared of that — you like guys who are funny.’
‘But what if?’ I press. ‘Seriously. What if we wind up liking the same guy? We’ve never talked this through.’
‘Okay, if Theo James — I doubt Four’s going to make any type of appearance — ever shows up at our school, or we ever want the same guy, we’ll talk about it. There’s bound to be one of us who feels more strongly about him being our soul mate. We’ll weigh it up practically and make the decision.’
I laugh. ‘I doubt these things are practical.’ Still, Emily and I aren’t like Tatiana and Lana — we’d never risk what we have over some guy. ‘Undoubtedly, your Theo James guy will go for one of the Tens and save us all the trouble. Anyway, that is one seriously ugly fight between Lana and Tatiana.’
Emily shrugs. ‘I think it was bound to happen. Lana’s always been envious that Tatiana’s that bit prettier than her — that’s why she’s always claiming certain looks or activities to be “her thing”. Ice skating, strapless dresses, stripes. Who claims stripes anyways? How can one person “own” an entire pattern? Jesus, she irritates me.’
‘They’re still really bothering you, huh?’
There’s something about Emily’s face when she talks about the Tens that seems different to before I left. She’s always been immensely irritated by them, but they’ve never got to her the way they did to me. She’s always said that she feels sorry for them because they’d never have a friendship like ours.
She looks thoughtful. ‘It’s not as bad as the start of high school. Most of the time now they tend to stick to themselves. They still make snooty remarks and laugh at anyone below what they consider a Six, but it’s not as horrific as when you left. Anyway, to finish the story, after Lana’s thrown Tat’s ponytail in the bin and done her “You’re trash, stay away from my man” speech, there’s this deathly silence. Then Tatiana starts screaming hysterically at Lana about being insecure and lunges at her hair. The rest of the Tens form a circle around Lana to show their alliance and then all the guys start yelling out stupid things about catfights and how they lead to lesbian kisses, and Mr Bannerman is roaring at everyone to calm down. Lana and Tatiana get sent to the principal’s office and are suspended for the entire last week of school. They haven’t been seen together at all in the holidays, even though Tatiana’s dad had booked that beach house for the Tens. I’m betting they’ll be besties again next week though, as there’s no-one else out there who can mirror their own self-satisfaction back to them.’
My Best Friend Is a Goddess Page 2