I think about this. I think about how Edison and Tesla fought over electricity. How my family fights over a million things. How my friends fight over a world record. How I fight with The Destructor, my family, my friends, even Grumpy Pigeon Man. Then I say, “Sharing isn’t easy.”
“I know, but the more you do it, the easier it is.” He pauses. “Or, at least, that’s what people tell me.”
And then I figure something out and I say, “You have to share me too.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I like taking care of your pigeons, but I also like breaking records.”
He sighs. “Sharing isn’t easy.”
“I know, but the more you do it, the easier it is.” I pause. “At least, that’s what one of the smartest people I know tells me.”
Grumpy Pigeon Man smiles and so do I.
MOST SUCCINCT WORD
What Grumpy Pigeon Man says reminds me of a record I’ve never really understood. It’s the record for most succinct word in the world. I know succinct means short and to the point, because it was a vocabulary word once. But the most succinct word in the world comes from a language spoken only in the tip of Argentina and Chile. The word is mamihlapinatapai. It doesn’t seem succinct when you look at all those letters, but it turns out its meaning is very precise. It means to do something for someone else even though you don’t want to.
And suddenly I stand up. “I’ve got to go,” I say.
Grumpy Pigeon Man frowns.
“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
“Only one?” Grumpy Pigeon Man laughs. “Then you’re doing better than the rest of us.” He picks up the box and heads out the door with me. “Will I see you later?”
“You can’t get rid of me, even if you try.”
I dash away, because I finally know what I have to do, and it’s totally different from Gran’s advice.
MOST DANGEROUS SHARK
“Mom,” I yell as I walk into the house. “Mom! I need help! Can you drive me to school?”
Mom says, “That’s not a problem. We’re leaving in a minute; Maggie has her track meet there today.”
Just then Caitlin and Casey run down the stairs. They’re dressed all in green clothes and their faces are painted up like the earth.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Earth Day celebration,” they say.
“What’s Earth Day?”
They look at me like I’m asking who the tallest man ever was (Robert Wadlow—8 feet 11.1 inches). Everyone knows that guy. After they recover from their shock they explain that it’s the day where people come together to celebrate taking care of the earth; they do things to show that they want to keep it clean and safe, and bring attention to ways we all can help.
Caitlin says, “It was actually a few days ago.”
Casey says, “But today there’s a big celebration over at your school.”
They both say, “Didn’t you see the posters?”
“Clearly, I didn’t see the posters, because if I had seen the posters, I would know there was an Earth Day celebration.”
“You should start thinking about other stuff besides yourself!” Caitlin says.
“She’s right,” Casey says. They hop on their bikes and take off.
“That’s what I’m trying to do!” I run down into the basement. I creep past the cobwebs and shadows, and pull out the bags of plastic bags I’ve been hoarding. I don’t know what exactly I’m going to do once I get to school, but like Dad said, showing up is the important thing.
We all pile into the car. Luckily Caitlin and Casey biked, or there wouldn’t be room for the bags.
Grace turns around. “What’s all that stuff?”
“Maybe a new story,” I say.
“I don’t think so!” Grace stomps on my foot. That girl has long legs and a powerful foot. But I’ve got bigger things to worry about than whether my toes are broken.
The Destructor stares out the window. It’s better this way.
The parking lot at school is packed. The place is swarming with people. There are track things set up all over the place.
“I’m out of here.” Maggie leaps out of the car and runs off to meet her team.
And because of the Earth Day celebration, there are banners asking people to conserve water, to recycle, to plant more trees, to turn off lights, and even to use fewer plastic bags. It’s really amazing.
“Oh, there’s Jerome!” Sharon says. “See you later.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m going to interview the track teams,” Grace says, and takes off across the field.
Caitlin and Casey bike up.
“Beat you!” Caitlin yells.
“It’s a tie,” Casey says. “We rode up at exactly the same time!”
I leave the bags in the car and walk closer to the school.
That’s when I see the plastic bag balls. They are right by the swings. Lonnie, Viva, Max, and Angus stand in front of one. Lewis, Ny, Cornelio, and Serena are in front of the other one. I run over.
They all see me at the same time. And they look at me like I’m the white shark—the record holder for most dangerous shark in the world. It makes me stop in my tracks, but then I remember I’m not the white shark, I’m just Teddy, and I walk up closer.
RECORD BREAKER VS. RECORD BREAKER
“Oh brother!” Viva says. “I told you he would come!”
Lonnie says, “If you’re going to beat us all, get it over with.”
My throat tightens. “Do you really think I’d do that?” I ask.
Lonnie says, “Stop pretending. Jake told us everything.”
“You’re here to compete against us,” Viva says. “You want to break another record on your own.”
Lonnie shakes his head. “You should have just told us the truth.”
I look at Lonnie and Viva. How can they believe this?
And just then Ms. Raffeli’s voice rings out. “Would one of you please tell me what is actually going on with these bags?”
ME AND THE BAGS
By this time, just about everyone I know is standing around us. There’s Ms. Raffeli, most of my class, all my sisters except Maggie, my parents, Jerome, and of course The Destructor.
Mom is saying, “Jake? Did you tell Lonnie and Viva that?”
Dad says, “Teddy, what’s going on?”
Every kid is also talking at the same time, until Ms. Raffeli claps her hands and we all get silent.
Mom says, “I wish I could do that.”
Ms. Raffeli’s eyebrows go up and Mom stops talking.
“So you’re telling me,” Ms. Raffeli says, “that you have all been trying to break a record in my classroom and I didn’t know about it?”
We nod.
“I thought it was for the inventors’ fair.”
We nod.
“And I presume,” she carries on, “that at first it was for the largest collection of plastic bags.”
We nod again.
“And then,” she says, “you all started to fight and your group split up.”
I have to say, if Ms. Raffeli ever retires from teaching, she should become a detective because she knows a lot more than I would ever think she would.
She looks at me. “The only thing I don’t understand is, why is everyone mad at you?”
That’s when all of us start talking at the same time.
“Teddy wanted his own record.”
“He didn’t even tell us!”
“He didn’t want anyone else to win.”
Ms. Raffeli claps her hands again. “One at a time,” she says. Then she looks at Lonnie. He explains how at first I was helping, and then how after the group split up I stopped, and how I kept all my bags, and how I was trying to break the record all by myself, but no one knew that until The Destructor told them.
She looks at me. “Teddy?” she says. “Is this true?”
I take a deep breath and say, “I have been hiding them.”
&
nbsp; “See!” Viva erupts, but Ms. Raffeli stops her.
“Go on, Teddy.”
“I didn’t hide them to break a record.”
I look up and see Jasmine B. and Jasmine H. off to the side. They smile at me and give me a thumbs-up.
“So why did you do it?” Lewis says. “I mean, whose side are you on?”
“I’m not on anyone’s side.” I look at Lonnie, Viva, and even Lewis. “I’m just tired of all the fighting.”
Lonnie and Viva look at the two plastic bag balls. There’s a silence that seems to last as long as the longest-burning lightbulb, which has been going since 1901!
And then Lonnie says, “In the words of Yoda: ‘The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.’ I think I wanted to win a little too much, but if I think about it, I’m tired of all the fighting too.”
Viva says, “That’s what I was going to say.”
“Hey!” Lewis says. “That’s what I say!” Then he raises his hand for a high five, and Lonnie and Viva and I raise ours, and so do Angus, and Ny, and Cornelio, and Max, and Serena. We do a high five, except with all those hands we miss and end up slapping each other instead.
And like the two Jasmines say, it’s a big mess, but this mess is actually funny and makes us laugh.
RECORD BREAKING DAY
Because we want to start all over again and really do it together this time, we unroll the two plastic bag balls. When they are totally unwound, we reattach them, one end to one end, and then start rolling them back together.
And even though it’s a lot of work, it doesn’t matter, because the people here for Earth Day get all excited and take pictures, and people who are at the track meet see how much fun we’re having and they want to help, too. We keep a record of how many bags we have. We tie and roll and tie and roll. We add the ones I brought and even ones that people have here today. The ball gets bigger and bigger, until it’s as wide as ten of us standing side by side and as tall as two of us. If we could stand on top of each other.
Grace is writing the whole thing down and says this story is going to be her big break. But just then a TV crew from Channel 7 appears. “I’ll handle this,” she screams at us. “You keep rolling!”
But Lewis walks over to the Channel 7 reporter and says, “It was all my idea!”
The Channel 7 reporter starts asking loads of questions until Ny, Serena, Max, and Angus interrupt and say a couple of kids came up with the idea, but the whole class worked on it together.
“That’s what I was going to say!” Lewis says.
Ny shakes her head and crosses her arms.
“I was! I promise I was just getting to that!”
I go back to the ball and see The Destructor running around shouting at people to bring their plastic bags to us. Caitlin and Casey keep biking away and then coming back with more used bags. Mom and Dad are holding hands and talking to Ms. Raffeli. And I have to admit, it is nice that Mom and Dad are getting along again, and it’s not just nice because of the food.
That’s when Maggie limps up behind them along with another girl. I leave the plastic bag ball for a second, which is fine because Jasmine B. and Jasmine H. are having a good time keeping us all organized.
“What happened?” I ask.
Lewis runs up behind me. “That’s what I was going to ask.”
I sigh.
“I mean it,” he says. “That’s my sister, Bella.”
I look at the girl next to Maggie. “That’s your sister?”
Maggie says, “Do you know Bella Colon?”
“Bella Colon is your sister?” I say.
“Yeah,” he says. “So what.”
I look over at Maggie and Bella, who are suddenly not rivals.
Maggie says, “We collided. We’re both out of the competition with twisted ankles.”
“After all that work?” I say.
She shrugs. “Training is the fun part.” Bella and Maggie limp off to watch the races.
I nod. I know what she’s talking about because, strange but true, breaking a record is not as fun as trying to break a record.
STRANGEST THINGS TO FALL OUT OF THE SKY
By the end of the track meet we’ve rolled and counted eighteen thousand bags! We have lots of photos to send to the world record people. Channel 7 interviewed us, and because it was the Earth Day celebration, Lonnie talked about how our record shows people that we need to use fewer plastic bags! And that part was especially cool, because even though we didn’t plan it, our record became something more than just a record.
And now Lonnie, Viva, and I are sitting in the grass. I could tell them a million times how sorry I am that I didn’t tell them the truth, but I think we all feel sorry for something, so we don’t need to say it.
Strange but true, there are a lot things I don’t understand in this world; for example, there’s a list in The Guinness Book of World Records of the strangest things to fall out of the sky: electric rain, birds’ blood, green rain, nails, blue rain, a tortoise in a hailstone, frogs, pwdre ser (also known as star rot), silver coins, and something called angel hair. Like I said, I don’t understand this list at all; I have no idea what most of those things are. But the list proves that the world is stranger than I ever could know, and if that’s true, then anything is possible.
Like breaking world records, or sharing the aviary, or even becoming friends again with your friends.
GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS
Two days later, we’re back at school. It’s lunch, and Lonnie, Viva, and I sit at our old table. Ny joins us, and Angus, and Cornelio, and Serena, and Max. Principal Johnson is going to announce the winner of the inventors’ fair after lunch.
Lewis walks over and says, “Is there room for me?”
“Sure,” Lonnie and Viva say at the same time.
And I admit, it feels like we’re all one group again. Maybe even a group that could break a record for the largest game of leapfrog (1,348 people) or largest simultaneous jump (569,069 people) or even the largest tea party (32,681 people), except I don’t think I like tea.
As Lewis settles in, he says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news, guys.”
“What’s the bad news?” Viva asks.
“I was doing a little research about the bags and discovered that a school in California broke our record. They had 36,700 plastic bags.”
Viva’s jaw drops. “That means we need—”
“Another 18,701 plastic bags to break the record!” Lewis interrupts.
“That’s what I was going to say,” Viva says.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. “I know how much you wanted to break the record.”
“Who cares,” he says. “Did you see the paper today?”
“No,” I say.
“We’re all over it. And on top of that, I’ve already been asked for a TV interview.”
“So is that the good news?” Lonnie asks.
“No way.” Lewis smiles. “The good news is we get to keep on trying to break our record! I couldn’t think of anything cooler!”
I laugh. “That’s what I call a win-win situation!”
At the end of recess, Ms. Raffeli surprises us with an ice cream party. “You all deserve this because you’ve worked so hard together. Really, whether we win or lose today, you’re all winners.”
Then Angus falls on his knees and says, “Can we have pajama day next week?”
Ms. Raffeli’s eyebrows fly up. “Don’t push it, Angus.”
“How about crazy hair day?”
“Angus!”
It’s really nice to see she hasn’t changed too much.
We have to eat fast because Principal Johnson is waiting for our whole grade in the library to announce the winner.
“In third place,” she says, “from Ms. Cleary’s class: the Ping-Pong Ball Shooter.” Everyone claps, and the kids who made that walk up to the front. “In second place, from Mr. Jenkins’s class, the Foot Massager.”
We all clap again. And really, it’s surpri
singly great to be happy for other people who are winning. Principal Johnson raises her hand for quiet. “And for first place, from Ms. Raffeli’s class, the Battery Operated Trash Masher, or as they like to call it, the BOTM.”
I look over at Ms. Raffeli and she’s beaming, and before I know it I’m on my feet clapping like crazy, because I’m so proud of my friends, and even though I would have liked to win, it’s all great, because actually, just like Ms. Raffeli said, I am already a winner.
I have my friends again, and I can tell you that that is way better than winning the inventors’ fair.
MY TO-DO LIST NUMBER WHATEVER
I’d like to start a new list, but right now I don’t have a single thing to put on it.
Maybe that’s better.
CAN BOY
I go around to the aviary. I thought The Destructor would be here, because I couldn’t find him back at home, but he isn’t. I hear the door open and figure that’ll be him, but it’s Grumpy Pigeon Man, carrying Admiral Ackbar. “He’s a tough one,” Grumpy Pigeon Man says. “But he still needs his friends.”
There’s a knock on the door. Lonnie and Viva walk in. Grumpy Pigeon Man never shows any emotion except grumpiness, but I can tell he’s happy to see Lonnie and Viva, because he says, “It’s about time you came over.”
We all sit together and watch the pigeons flutter. We listen to their soft coos. Even Admiral Ackbar joins in.
Grumpy Pigeon Man says, “How’s the world record going?”
“Breaking a record is lot harder than I thought,” Viva says.
“We should try for another one,” Lonnie says. “It’ll be months before we break the plastic bag record.”
“Got any ideas?” I ask.
Grumpy Pigeon Man says, “How about going the longest amount of time not breaking a record?”
And we all laugh because we know that will never happen.
“Anyone seen Jake?” Grumpy Pigeon Man asks.
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