by Lexy Timms
“What was that song?” she shouted over the noise of the crowd.
He leaned over, his lips next to her ear. “It’s about home. About when you’ve strayed and lost your way, you can always come home. Logan wrote it after a bad stretch on the road a few years back, when they were broke and ready to give it up all up. It was the song that made them famous. Ironic, though, that a song about home is the one that took them away from it.”
The house lights came up and the crowd milled about, chatting, moving to the other end of the room. Logan was talking with the guitar player at the back of the stage, a few other people gathered around them. For a moment, Olivia was almost afraid to approach the stage. She took a few hesitant steps, trying not to lose him in the crowd. But then Logan turned, looking directly at her.
Her heart thudded painfully in her chest. For a long, uncomfortable minute he watched her, and then for a heart-stopping second, she thought he was going to leave, but he only turned to someone and said something she couldn’t hear, then walked to the edge of the stage.
“Olivia.” He looked down at her, his eyes dark and solemn. “It is you.”
She finally found her voice. “Logan. I- I’m here for you. To talk to you. Can we just... talk? Please?”
Logan regarded her a moment longer. He extended a hand. She grasped it, and he helped her step up onto the stage. The touch of his skin against hers, the warmth of his hand, almost took her breath away.
Then he dropped her hand and turned away. “Come on. We’ve got some rooms in the back. We can talk there.” He walked across the stage, through a door at the rear. Olivia followed, her heart in her throat.
He led her down a short hall to a small room with a few chairs and a little wooden table. There was a battered couch against one wall and Logan sat down, long legs stretched out in front of him. She closed the door softly and crossed the room to take a seat on the other end of the couch. Clenching her hands in her lap, she resisted the urge to bite her nails, suddenly unsure of what to say, where to start.
“Logan.” She took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. Please let me explain.”
Logan sighed, leaning his head against the back of the couch, his eyes closed. “You might as well, if you’ve come this far. Say what you need to say.”
“What you saw with Ryan wasn’t you think. I know it looked bad, but...”
“I saw you in the arms of another man. Someone who seemed very familiar with you. Someone you seemed very familiar with.” He opened his eyes, turning his head to look at her. The pain in his expression made her want to reach out to him, to touch him, but the gulf between them was too great. And if he shied away from her touch, it would break her heart.
“You’re having an affair with your boss.” His voice was flat, emotionless. Cold.
“No. I’m not. I wasn’t. What you saw was...” Olivia looked down at her hands. How was she going to explain to him what had happened? How Ryan had manipulated her? She remembered thinking that he would put a fist in Ryan’s face if he found out, and she still wasn’t sure that thought had been wrong. But it was tell him or lose him. She sighed.
“Ryan’s been doing this. Setting this all up.” She raised her head to meet his gaze. “I’m not having an affair with him. I swear to you. But Ryan’s been making it seem like I am.”
“So all the times you hung up on me after I heard Ryan’s voice in the background, that wasn’t you trying to keep me from knowing about him? Or the times you were late because of work? They were really just work? Not because you were staying to be with him?”
“All those times I hung up were to keep Ryan from knowing about you.” Olivia’s hands twisted together in her lap. “I told you what it could cost me, if someone found out. And Ryan... He was already acting so strange around you. And trying to push me into something with him. I didn’t know how he’d react.”
Logan sat forward, elbows on his knees. “Olivia, I’d like to believe you. I would. It would be so much easier if I could. But it tears my heart to think you were with someone else and didn’t have the courage to tell me. I can’t go through that again. So please, just be honest.”
Olivia felt tears welling up in her eyes. “Oh, Logan. No. It’s not like that. Ryan set it up—set us up—to make it look to you like I was having an affair with him so that you would walk away. He’s been making passes at me. Touching me at the office.” Her voice caught. “None of it was anything I wanted. I swear.”
She took a slow, shuddering breath, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall. “He’s been strange since Patrick. Since my engagement ended. But it got more...intense, I guess, since you. Since he’s suspected that we were together. I think- I think he thought that once Patrick was out of the picture, I’d fall into his arms and when I found you instead he got desperate.”
Logan was watching her closely. The pain in his eyes was gradually becoming something harder. Dangerous. But it wasn’t directed at her. When she leaned forward and reached for his hand, he let her hold it.
“He had a photo of us. From that first night I slept with you. It came in a package of other pictures. Ones of you with other women.”
Logan scowled. “Ashton. I thought someone was following me. More than just the paparazzi.” He shook his head. “That man will go to any lengths. He’s ruined so many things in my life.”
“And so will Ryan.” Olivia held more tightly to Logan’s hand. “Ashton’s out to ruin you, and Ryan’s out to...either have me or ruin me, I think, whichever comes first. He’s threatened my career if I don’t-” She swallowed hard, forcing back the lump in her throat. “If I don’t go along with what he wants. He’s told me I’ll never make partner if I don’t...”
“If you don’t give in,” Logan said.
Olivia nodded. “If I don’t give in.”
“But why didn’t you tell me?” Logan was leaning forward, his expression pained again. Aching. “Why didn’t you let me help you?”
Olivia slid across the couch and Logan pulled her close, wrapping her in the strong safety of his arms. The tears she’d been holding back spilled down her cheeks as she rested her head on his shoulder. She’d missed the warmth of his body, the familiar scent of him. They were comforting, but she was still uneasy, unsure as to what he really thought.
“I wanted to. I wanted to more than anything. I’ve been so-” She swallowed back a sob. “I thought about it, but I didn’t know how. We were so new. I was afraid you’d think the worst of me. Or not believe me at all. Or... I don’t know. Ryan has me so twisted around and confused, and... So scared. And to be honest, I was a little worried you’d march in and deck him if you found out.”
She tried to put a smile into the words, through the tears still sliding down her face. It was only a partial success. Logan’s arms around her tightened.
“Aye. And more than that, too, if I let myself have free reign. But...” His tone became solemn. “You should have trusted me, Olivia. I would have listened to you then just the way I’m listening now.”
She gave in to the tears, beyond words. Logan held her and let her cry, stroking her hair as she soaked his shoulder. Finally, she sat up, still in the circle of his arms.
“I’m so sorry. For all of this.” She ran her fingers down his cheek, her eyes searching his. It surprised her to find them red-rimmed, as though she hadn’t been the only one crying.
He saw her looking and brushed the last of her tears from her face with the back of one knuckle. “Can I not hurt for your pain, mo chridhe?”
Patrick wouldn’t have. The thought surprised her. It had been so long since she thought about her ex-fiancé.
“I love you so much, Logan.” The words came out rough. “I wanted to tell you. But you were gone. I thought I’d lost you forever.” Tears pricked at her eyes again.
“Aye,” Logan said. “I ran away. It was wrong, me being a coward. But it tore my heart out to see you there with him. I wanted to do so many things: pull you away, knock his teeth out, demand an exp
lanation. But I ran, like I’ve run before.” He shook his head.
A knock on the door interrupted Olivia’s answer. Made her jump. Logan looked up as a tall, red-haired man came into the room. Olivia recognized him as the drummer from Revival.
“Logan. We’re heading out. I...wanted to say good luck. Before we left.”
Gently, Logan untangled himself from Olivia, and stood to pull the man to him in a warm embrace. “I’ll miss you, Angus. I’m not sure what I’ll do without you all around.”
“Aye, well. This is for the best. At least for now.” Angus clapped Logan on the back and stepped away. “Take care, mate. I’ll be in touch.”
The man nodded to Olivia and slipped out of the room. Logan stood for a moment, looking at the empty doorway before turning back to Olivia. There was sadness and loss in his face, deep in his eyes. His voice was so low she barely heard him as he answered her unspoken question.
“The band’s broken up. This was our last show. We’ve cancelled the rest of the tour.”
Chapter Fourteen
They were quiet in the taxi to Logan’s hotel, Logan holding her hand and absently running his thumb across her knuckles. The street was dark and the night chilly as Logan ushered her into the small building and up the narrow stairs. She half expected the same dismal accommodations she had at her hotel, but the room turned out to be surprisingly cozy, dominated by a large canopy bed with lavishly curtained sides. Olivia was inspecting the decidedly feminine-looking bed when Logan caught her eye and smiled.
“All the rooms have them. The curtains, I mean. Not all inns had central heat back when this one was built. What looks romantic now kept those sleeping from freezing.”
He came to stand in front of her, his hands on her arms. She felt the warmth of him reaching her skin, even through the thick sweater.
“I see you’ve gone native already.” He fingered the wool of the garment.
She looked into his eyes, longing to see the smile reaching them again. But it was still absent. “I was unprepared. And cold. I left in a hurry.”
“Olivia...” Logan sighed, his eyes locked on hers. “Can we get back to where we were? It was all so new. So fragile, before. Is it too broken to fix? Did I ruin everything?”
“No.” Olivia shook her head. “It’s not. As long as you believe me that there’s nothing between Ryan and I except his delusions. There never has been.”
“Aye. I believe you.” Logan’s voice caught. “And I’ll not be doubting you again.”
He pulled Olivia into his arms, then, gentle, but still obviously impatient to have her near in a way that made warmth bloom in Olivia’s chest. For the first time in too many days, his lips found hers.
That same familiar longing was there in his kiss, and she wondered again what he really wanted, if she was it, or if there was something else he was searching for. But the thought didn’t linger long. The gentle curve of his lips against hers, his hands on her body banished all rational thought. She let herself fall into the kiss and thought of nothing but how much she wanted him.
Together, they worked to get through the layers of clothes, Logan laughing softly at the struggle to get Olivia out of her new sweater. Her chilly fingers struggled with the buttons on his shirt, the zipper on his jeans. But once they were naked, lying on the big bed, Logan grew serious.
“I thought I’d never see you again,” he said, the pain returning for a moment to his eyes. “Never have this again. I’d never kiss these lips.” He leaned over, kissing her softly, briefly. When he looked up, he was smiling again, though it was a solemn sort of smile.
“I’d never see these again.” His fingers trailed slowly over the soft mound of one breast, slowly circling its nipple. Olivia sighed, her body moving under his touch as he trailed his fingers lower, over her stomach, sliding between her thighs.
Olivia arched her back, letting her legs move apart.
“And I thought I’d never be here again,” Logan said, stroking the very tips of his fingers over the soft folds of her sex. “Never be inside you again, feeling you surrounding me.”
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, this time lingering. Slow.
“That song I sang tonight, it was about going home. How no matter what, home will always be there waiting for you. But I almost lost mine.”
His dark, earnest eyes looked down at her. “Will you have me again, Olivia, after I’ve been such a fool?”
Olivia smiled. She stroked her hands over Logan’s face, tracing the contours of his lips with her fingertips as he kissed them softly.
“You’re allowed to be foolish, Logan. Just stop running away. Trust me. Trust us.” She pulled him to her. This time, the longing was in her kiss. “I want you, Logan. More than anything. And I love you.”
“Aye. I love you too, Olivia, more than you know.”
Looking into those dark eyes, Olivia made a decision. She smiled. “You’re going to love me even more in a minute.”
Logan’s eyebrows lifted, but before he had time to do more than look at her with a question in the tilt of his head, she was pressing her hands to his shoulders, pushing him back to the mattress. She swung one leg over his hip and then, as his eyes went wide and his pupils filled them with black, she sank down on his length.
He groaned, his hands grabbing for her hips. Olivia echoed the sound with a breathless moan.
Everything she’d ever wanted she’d found in Logan. And everything she felt, as she moved over him, as he moved with her, was more than she’d ever thought possible. Every minute shift of his hands against her skin felt like it was the first time she’d even been touched that way.
She leaned down, her hair falling loose over her shoulder, and kissed him. Logan surged up into it, one of his hands leaving her hip to cup the back of her neck. It felt good, to be in control. To have him underneath her, his body rocking against hers, the rhythm of them pulling them both into a place where nothing mattered but skin against skin and the sounds they could pull from each other’s lips.
Pleasure rose in her center, warmed her from the inside out. Both of them were panting for breath. As she bent again to kiss him, he whispered words against her mouth. She was taut, muscles straining, every nerve on edge. He was close to his own release; she could feel it in the way his hands gripped her, in the hitch of his hips. His boy moved with purpose against hers. So many emotions flooded through her. So many sensations. All of them driving them toward the edge of her own cliff.
Logan’s hips snapped up against hers, filling her. His hands pulled her close. The shock of it—the unexpected, jarring pleasure—sent her on a dizzying upward spiral, riding the crests of wave after wave of increasing passion. And then a soundless explosion of ecstasy. Everything else faded away.
When she opened her eyes, Logan was holding her, rocking her against his body. He murmured something that could have been a lullaby, could have been Gaelic. She sank boneless against the support of his chest, warm and safe, her body full of the ebb and flow of their love-making. Logan brushed a kiss against her hairline, his lips warm against her flushed skin.
“If you’d like to do that more often,” he said, warm amusement in his voice, “I’d not be complaining.”
“I’m sure something could be arranged.”
LATER, OLIVIA LAY IN the quiet dark, listening to Logan’s soft breathing. She was relaxed, but not yet asleep, drifting in a haze of contentment. Logan was warm beside her, and for the first time in days she was at peace, the constant anxiety that had been eating at her finally at bay. She snuggled beneath the eiderdown comforter, closer to Logan, and he stirred.
“Am I keeping you awake? I’m sorry.”
He shifted, pulling her closer, and she rested her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest.
“No. I wasn’t really sleeping. Just enjoying having you here with me.” His fingers brushed against her ear, sliding down to cup the nape of her neck. His lips found hers in the dark. They stayed like this for a momen
t before he settled back against his pillow.
“Logan, you said something earlier.” The memory had crossed her mind as she lay almost dozing, and she’d realized that he had never explained his words. “What did you mean that you couldn’t go through this again? That you ran away before?”
He was quiet for a long moment, his arm tightening around her. Finally, he took a deep breath.
“There was a girl, a long time ago. From here. From home. We were engaged. We had a tiny flat in the center of town. Nothing much for furniture, but it was ours.”
Oliva could hear the old hurt in his voice. She snuggled closer, trying to comfort him.
“We’d been on tour. Nothing like what we have now, just mucking about in Glasgow for a few weeks playing out the pubs. I’d come home, I guess earlier than she thought. She was there, with my best friend, in our bed.”
“Oh, Logan. I’m so sorry.”
His gentle laugh startled her. “No you’re not. Not really. If it’d worked out, we’d not be here now. But thank you for saying it all the same.” He squeezed her shoulder briefly.
“I can be glad you’re mind now, and sorry that you were hurt,” Olivia pointed out. “If it meant that you had never had to go through that, I—”
This time he laid a finger over her lips. “Sweet as that is, I don’t think I want to hear you say that you’d give me up for the sake of my cheating ex.” His voice grew serious again and he went on. “I didn’t know what to do. I was so happy to be home, to see her. So tired from driving all night to get to her. And then I was so angry. I wanted to hit him, hit her, do something. Anything. So I punched the wall. Damned near broke my hand. She screamed. He jumped up, searching for his pants. Before anyone could say anything, I was gone.” He paused there, his hand sliding into hers and tangling their fingers together. “I spent a week in a pub, unless it was closed, drinking myself stupid. Angus finally found me and dragged me home with him. I was a wreck. Vowed never to get involved again with a woman.” He squeezed her hand. “Until I saw you. Even half drunk and crying, you were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. I couldn’t walk away.”