Her anger exploded at that last insult. Lebuin sitting there reading fiction was one thing, but the fact that he couldn’t be bothered to clean up his own mess, when all he had to do was toss the book in the air, broke the dam holding her emotions under control.
A scream erupted from her as she turned. The sheer primal rage of the sound was like a call to action. Mind burning, fists clenched, and ready to strike, she leapt in the direction of the golden thread. With her feet pounding, all she wanted was to finish the trek, find Lebuin, and hold him accountable for hiding.
In moments, she came upon Lebuin, lying sideways in a chair, with one book open in his hand and a stack on the floor next to a glass of wine.
She screamed so gutturally that it felt like her throat ripped slightly in the effort. The volume of the sudden shriek caused Lebuin to jump out of the chair, knocking over the wine and scattering the collection of novels. She raced at him with her hands formed into claws, ready to rend him for hiding there.
“ILLA! WHAT ARE...? I CAN EXPLAIN!” was all Lebuin managed to yell before she pounced on him.
“WE ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES, AND YOU ARE LOUNGING AROUND, DRINKING WINE, AND READING FANTASIES! I SWORE MY LIFE TO YOU!” She grabbed him, jerked him up, and held him in the air before her, shaking him like a rag doll. He had no weight in the odd place, which added to her anger.
Lebuin was flopping around, wide eyed, as she raged at him. Finally, she tossed him aside, into a pile of books. As they took to the air, Illa remembered the other affront. “AND YOU COULDN’T EVEN CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF!” She kicked the ones he had by his chair, and they all flew off, heading for their shelves.
Lebuin had regained his feet and was staring at the scene with his mouth hanging open. He grabbed one from another stack and tossed it into the air, jaws still agape, as it also flew off to find its shelf. “I didn’t know they did that.”
Illa’s blood hadn’t stopped boiling, and Lebuin wasn’t helping matters, just standing there.
“Of all the men I have ever known, you are the absolute worst! Stay here, for all I care! I’m done!”
She whirled around, and her mind latched onto the silver thread. With a snap, she was in her body. It was incredibly hot, and she started sweating instantly. After ripping off all the ropes that loosely bound her to a cot, she stood up. She was in a cave, and sounds were coming from nearby, through a passage. She followed it out, stomping. Ticca, Nigan, and the other Daggers were around a cooking fire, eating some kind of meat on skewers. She stamped up to them and noticed that Nigan had a pile of bones on the ground in front of him.
“MEN!” she screamed. She then glared at all the stunned men there and stalked out of the only exit she could see.
Chapter 8
Hard Choices
Lebuin
Lebuin stared at the empty spot where Illa had just been standing. His heart was still pounding, and he felt his face and ears burning red.
She didn’t even give me a chance to explain.
He looked at the stacks of books. For the first time, he noticed how many there were in his “already read” pile. He wondered how many she’d encountered.
Dog-earing the page, he closed the book he’d been reading and started walking back along his path.
How long have I been here?
He recalled all the books he’d read and tried to figure out the time there versus the time in the real world. He didn’t have enough experience to know. He was ashamed that he hadn’t really thought about it before.
I figured I had been here maybe one day, but Illa was pretty angry. I must have been here a lot longer than that. I should’ve returned when the pain pulled me back.
He recalled the hurt that had hit him so hard he’d almost snapped over into the physical realm. But that hadn’t been real. He’d barely had time to consider, and he was really mad at having his book interrupted. In a blur, he’d directed his power roughly at the offending people and then fled to the library again, away from the pain. He wasn’t sure what had happened, because he’d fought so hard to stay here that his senses hadn’t completely aligned with the physical.
He sat down in the next chamber and gazed at the hundreds of books stacked around the chair.
Why should I go back? Everything I could ever want is right here in my family’s library. I can’t be hurt here between. I don’t need to eat, sleep, or anything else.
He eyed his nice silver doublet. His fingers traced the patterns on his blue trousers. As he stood up, a mirror appeared before him, showing his elegant attire. He looked himself over from top to bottom. There he was, as muscled as his younger brother. He knew he was almost six feet tall, but he seemed taller in the mirror. His green eyes no longer had that tired, sunken appearance. In fact, his whole face was relaxed and perfect. He loved the way his light brown hair was trimmed short, Dagger-style.
With his filled-out frame, he looked regal in the silver patterned doublet, and royal blue slacks with a perfect crease down the front and a red stripe down each side. Soft, shiny black riding boots complemented the entire ensemble.
In the physical world, there’s grime, pain, killing, and suffering.
As he glanced around, he felt his stomach tighten.
I’m hiding here. This is what I wanted before I met Ticca.
The thought of Ticca brought her image to his mind. He recalled how attractive she was, no matter what she did. She never seems to put any thought into her outfits. Though always dressed for a fight, in that style of hers, she’s also unrealistically beautiful. Even when she brandishes knives, sweating and covered in dust, she manages to look like.... He stopped on that thought.
She’s the empress. She’s a royal woman, yet she didn’t want anyone to know. She didn’t seem at all interested in going to Gracia to take the throne.
He picked up a book and turned it over, glancing at the hand-drawn picture of a spaceship on the cover.
I’ve been wasting my time here. Ticca would never have sat here reading even one book, let alone.... He tried to count how many he’d read and lost track. Well, more than a few thousand.
Standing, he picked up an armful of books and threw them in the air. They raced off towards their shelves.
I should put things away.
Lebuin ran as fast as he could through all the chambers he’d been in, lifting the stacks of books and throwing them into the air to be sent back to their places. It took longer than he thought it would, and with each chamber, the guilt inside built up.
As he stood in the main entrance, he considered his next steps.
I’ll have to apologize.
He started pacing back and forth, trying to think of a reasonable explanation. But regardless of what he came up with, they all sounded hollow, especially when he tried them out loud.
He looked back into the library. He could feel an almost tangible pull towards it.
Maybe they can figure it out without me. I can just stay here forever.
The word forever stopped him. He glanced again at the books. Being there was not the right thing to do, and he knew it. It was the easy thing to do. There was nothing preventing him from simply letting his body go. He could hold himself there indefinitely, but he’d be alone.
Illa had pulled him out of the novels, making him realize how much time he’d spent there alone. Alone.... He’d been alone most of his life. That was what had really been bothering him about his family and those around him. They all lived with their families, they had friends, and his brother was even engaged. As much as he’d tried to make everyone believe he was okay with being alone, it wasn’t what he wanted. That was the draw of those books. They told fantastic tales, but in them all, the characters had at least one close friend who shared in the adventures, pain, and joys of life. Those friends were there, no matter what. He knew
exactly who he wanted to be there for him. But first, he needed to be there to cover their backs. There were people he didn’t even know who were dying in a war which they had no part in making, but he might have a major role in stopping.
And, of course, there was Ticca. She wouldn’t have stayed there at all.
Recalling the Dagger mottos Ticca lived by, he said them aloud. “Never give up! Never fail to do what is right! Never willingly accept second place!”
If I want Ticca to be by my side, I must also be at her side. I have to earn respect.
He turned his back on the library. Placing his hand on the door handle, he pulled it open, looking at the swirling colors of between.
“I will not hide in here alone forever!”
Holding Ticca’s image in his mind, he stepped out. He made sure the library doors sealed, and watched as they faded into the colors, blending in with the rest of the space around them.
Willing himself back to the physical realm, he felt his body start to move. As he opened his eyes, he saw that he was in a cave of some sort. He realized that he was tied to a cot, although the bindings were more to keep him from falling out than to restrain him.
He reached to untie them and stopped. His hands were glowing. He held them up before his face and turned them over. His skin was uniformly illuminated. As he pulled his sleeve up, he saw his arm was also glowing. He looked inside and found that he had hundreds of additional energy channels in a web under his skin, throughout his whole body. An astounding amount of mana pumped and circulated through this web-work. The radiance was caused by a small amount of residual burn that came from that energy circulating though his system.
I’ve never even heard of anything like this. How did this happen?
The energies didn’t burn, and he could see that he could tap them at any time. It’s like the Argos collector’s network of channels. I must have somehow created these channels when I was filtering off the power from the Nhia-Samri base.
Feeling even guiltier about hiding in the library, he started working on the knots that held him down. It only took a moment to loosen the ropes and stand up, but in that time, he started sweating profusely. The temperature felt high enough to boil water.
He stood, holding his hands before him, still looking at the golden glow emanating from his skin. He heard some muffled voices from nearby and saw a flickering light on the far wall past a bend in the cave or passage he was in.
Ticca, dagger out, came bounding around the wall, where the light and voices told him the rest of the team had to be. She must have heard some of the noises he made and came to investigate.
When she saw him, she screeched, and her eyes lit up like twin suns. Her dagger miraculously shifted to its sheath as she rushed to him, arms out, not bothering to stop. She jumped up, slamming into him and wrapped her arms around him tightly to hold herself head-high on him.
She was wearing a loose shirt over riding pants, and her clothes were dripping wet with sweat. Her outfit was stained with dirt, and where it wasn’t wet, it was caked in dust. She’d been eating something a little greasy, as her face had smear marks from the food. Her hair was slicked to her head. As he breathed in, he had to fight not to grunt at the stench that hung in the air from her body. But to Lebuin, none of that mattered. In his eyes, she was incredibly beautiful. He grabbed her back and hugged her hard.
He tried to say something but found his throat was too tight to speak. So instead, he just enjoyed being with her. He’d been gone a long time and hadn’t realized how much he missed her until that moment. Her feet were dangling in the air as she clung to his chest, and she felt as light as a feather.
His heart rate soared at her touch. The hug was so tight that her dagger and two throwing knives were digging into his belly, but he didn’t mind. He could feel her heart pounding, too, and it soothed and excited him like nothing he’d ever known.
Ticca looked into his soul. “I’ve missed you.” Her lips connected with his, and electric shocks ran through his body at the taste. Her feet lifted up behind her.
The sound of running feet approached, and Ticca pulled her head back, breaking the kiss. She closed her eyes, and her brow tightened. She released him, and he let her drop back to the ground. She stepped away with pain evident on her face.
Confused, he started to move towards her, but she sensed it, and her hand shot up to hold him back. “No, this isn’t right. Sorry. I lost control when I saw you.”
Before he could comment, Ditani came around the wall. He was also caked in dirt and sweat. His face lit up with a huge smile, and he tossed his head back and screamed an oscillating Karakian ritual cry. Accelerating his approach, he slammed into Lebuin, gripping him in a bear hug and picking him up off the ground.
“Lebuin, thank the Lords and Ladies you’ve come out of it!”
Behind Ditani, the rest of the team was filtering in. The area became noisy and crowded. Everyone wanted to hug him or slap his shoulder. They all talked at the same time, and the pandemonium showed no signs of letting up.
In the chaotic mix, a smiling Nigan waded in and pushed his way through the team. Holding up one hand, he pointed to Lebuin with his other. “Not to ruin the mood, but are you entirely safe?”
Laughing, Lebuin said, “Yes, I think so. This is just stored energy from that base. Now that I’m back, I’ll try to figure out how to stop looking like a lantern.”
The team cheered, and the joyful greetings and chatter started again. As Lebuin watched them, he could feel tension behind the ebullience.
It’s like they needed something positive. Things must have been depressing as of late. Lebuin tried to ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach. And when they hear what I have to tell them, even this moment might be dulled for them.
Ditani grabbed Lebuin’s shirt and managed to pull him, and the rest of the team, out of the sleeping area of the cave into a large, open cooking and eating area. Nigan handed Lebuin some roasted meat on a stick, and they all settled onto rock seats or sat on the ground, leaning against the wall. Lebuin noticed almost all of them were getting as much contact with the stone as possible, to combat the heat.
As he looked around, he saw that Sabri, Coedy, Epton, Illa, and, surprisingly, Ticca, weren’t around.
Where did Ticca go? She was just here.
Assuming the other Daggers were out scouting, he ate slowly as Nigan began filling him in on everything that had happened so far. He practically choked when he learned that the missing Daggers had been killed in a Nhia-Samri trap, which he’d saved the team from after Illa had taken what should have been a fatal strike. His feeling of guilt continued to grow throughout the whole narrative.
“Then Illa surprised everyone, walking out here, maybe ten minutes before you came around. I don’t know what happened to her, but she screamed at us and then went outside. I tried to follow her, but she threw one of her knives at me.” Nigan held up a knife as evidence.
Carda laughed and patted Nigan’s shoulder. “If she was mad at you specifically, that would’ve hit more than the ground between your feet. Don’t worry. When she calms down, we’ll find out what got her so spun up.”
Lebuin swallowed and glanced at the cave entrance. Me. That’s what she’s mad about. She didn’t tell them, which means I still have to say something.
“You might,” Nigan said with a smirk. “But ladies don’t usually explain things like this to men.” Ditani, Risy, and Lebuin chuckled, which elicited scowls from Carda, Persa, and Malla.
Nigan diverted attention away from himself. Looking at Lebuin, he asked, “So what happened to you? We only saw the pillar of fire, and when we found you, you were in a wide, burned pit. Let’s just say it left a lot for speculation on our part.” He gestured at Lebuin’s glowing body.
Lebuin’s throat tightened, and his stomach tensed, doing a fe
w flips to be sure it was felt. Oh, Lords! What do I say? Illa is furious with me, and if I tell the truth, the rest of the team will be just as mad. They’ve been carrying my hide across hundreds of miles and mountains, assuming I was injured.
Swallowing, he tried again to find a way to spin the story so it wouldn’t sound so bad. The team had settled into comfortable positions, awaiting his response.
“Uh....” He felt his face flushing, not that it would be noticeable with the glowing energies. Still, he glanced around.
Ditani’s brows narrowed.
Oh, urd. He knows I did something stupid. Lords, what should I say?
He felt like he was spinning, and the world was waiting for him to fall off. Many possible excuses about delving into the other realm came to him. He even considered claiming the vast power knocked him out; he could say he was healing and had no real memory of the past few weeks.
A memory of Ticca sitting across a cheery camp fire came to him. It had been in those wonderful weeks when they’d first fled Llino, and Ticca had started training them as Dagger recruits. She’d looked so radiant as she retold the Dagger legends. Her voice was clear in his mind. ‘The hardest thing about being a Dagger is doing what’s right. There are times it will burn so bad that you falter. But this is the core. If you ever choose to ignore it, it will be you who suffers the most. You must never fail to do what you know is right.’
Looking Ditani in the eye, he sighed. “I’m really very sorry to you all.”
Ditani’s eyes softened, although his brow still tensed in expectation of something he wouldn’t like.
Lebuin met every person’s eyes solidly, trying to keep his back straight and desperately hoping they would forgive him and understand. Everyone had a different expression, but he knew that in a moment, they would all show disapproval.
Thread Skein (Golden Threads Trilogy Book 3) Page 22