by Peter Newman
‘You really think the speech was good, then?’
Her father nods.
‘I know I keep asking, it’s just …’
He reaches out, putting a hand on her arm.
‘Thanks. And The Seven coming back now, what do you think it means?’
Her father shrugs.
‘Obeisance says it’s a sign of Their favour. That’s what she’s got the Knight Commander to tell everyone anyway. I’m not so sure. When I looked up, I didn’t feel hopeful, I felt … scared.’
Her father frowns, stays quiet.
Vesper slows as she approaches the hill. She expected to be excited, perhaps a little nervous, but in truth she is reluctant.
It has been ten years since she sealed the Breach. Ten years of rebuilding, renewing, trying to restore some of what was lost during the war with the infernals. During that time, she has grown into herself. Though the Empire of the Winged Eye is dedicated to The Seven, the immortals have been silent for as long as she has been alive. Her orders, given in Their name, are what shape the future now.
For the last five years she has travelled the world with her knights, the Order of the Broken Blades, meeting with demons, half-breeds and humans, a disparate group of leaders forged by misfortune and hardship. Not all of those meetings were pleasant, but through a combination of persuasion, natural enthusiasm and, where necessary, a demonstration of power, she has managed to establish working relationships with most of them.
Progress at home and abroad is slow but she is close now, so close to realizing her vision. And yet coming here that sense of triumph fades. She has been away too long, neglected things at home to work on her great vision. Now she has to face up to that.
She feels a squeeze on her shoulder and glances down to see a small silver wing draped across it. She brushes it with her fingers and smiles.
As she walks, the grass beneath her feet becomes shorter, neater, testament to the work of many goats. They dot the landscape, dull whites and patchy browns against the green, big and small, nearly twenty generations of them. There was a time when Vesper knew every goat by name. That time is long gone.
Two buildings come into view. She stops to marvel at how they’ve changed. The first, the house she grew up in, has grown. A new extension has been built on the side, lopsided. Clearly this was not built by the Empire’s engineers. Each brick is placed by hand, laboriously. But to Vesper, the imperfections add charm.
She turns to her father. ‘You’ve been busy.’
He looks at his work, then away again, embarrassed, before going into the house. She does not follow. She is not quite ready to face what awaits, not yet.
The second building is smaller, a shelter for their animals and a storehouse. As Vesper walks towards it, the buck slows, lagging further and further behind.
Inside it is dark, ripe with aged and musty smells. Vesper peers into the shadows until she makes out a shape in one corner.
Hands go to hips. ‘Wake up, you miserable thing.’
A head raises slowly, unsteady on a scraggly neck. The dark eyes do not see as well they used to but hate just as hard as ever.
‘Now, I don’t care how old you are, if you don’t stop biting everyone I’ll have you turned into stew, okay?’
The goat’s eyes narrow.
‘I’m serious this time.’ Vesper points a finger for emphasis, then reaches into her bag. ‘But I got you this. I don’t know why I bothered though, you ungrateful monster.’
She tosses a leathery strip to the goat and pats her on the head. The goat sniffs at the offering and then starts to eat it, ignoring the affection as best as possible.
Vesper goes back to the house and stops at the door. Her hand lifts as if to knock but hovers there, uncertain. She can just make out sounds from inside. Adult voices talking, and a younger voice rising above them. Yelling? Is it play or some kind of argument?
A knot forms in Vesper’s stomach and her hand remains poised.
At her back an eye opens and the wing squeezes her shoulder again. Vesper does not need to turn round to see the sword’s silent encouragement.
‘Alright,’ she murmurs. ‘I’m going in.’
She knocks once, so soft as to be inaudible. The sword frowns at her back and the wing squeezes more firmly. Vesper knocks a second time, louder.
The sounds on the other side stop.
She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, then opens the door and goes inside.
Vesper passes through the hall quickly. Each glance is bittersweet, conjuring childhood memories and showing their inaccuracies. Cupboards are the wrong colour, the walls show signs of age, and everything is smaller than she remembers it.
Except the kitchen. One of the walls has been knocked through to make space for a new table. Around it, four faces gawp at her.
She waves and smiles, awkward. ‘Hi.’
As one, they rise to greet her.
It is hard to know who to attend to first. Before she can decide, Jem is on his feet, moving in close. He leans in, kissing her, arms circling her shoulders only to stiffen as they knock against the sword.
She has barely had time to register the kiss or enjoy it before he is pulling away.
They study each other, noticing the little changes. She has grown as tall as him but seems taller, standing straight where he slumps. His eyes are as sharp as ever but there are smudges underneath, hinting at sleepless nights. A good diet has softened his features, save for his smile which remains feral.
Looking at his face, she cannot tell if that smile is aggressive or not.
Before either of them can speak, another voice interjects. ‘Vesper, is that you?’
Her Uncle Harm is reaching out for her, tentative. She takes his questing hand in both of hers and squeezes. ‘It’s me.’
They embrace, and Harm’s fingertips move up to her face, skimming over cheeks, the bridge of her nose and her forehead. He nods, content. ‘No new scars. That’s a good sign.’
‘I could say the same to you.’
He chuckles. ‘It’s good to have you home.’
Of all of them, Harm has changed the least. A few extra laughter lines, a couple of grey hairs. Taking comfort from that, Vesper turns to her father and the little girl standing next to him.
She looks down.
A small face is staring back up at her.
Dark curly hair frames sullen eyes and downturned lips. The girl’s skin is darker than hers but lighter than Jem’s. The swirling lines that cover her body have become more pronounced in the intervening years, not less as Vesper had hoped. This is why her daughter has been kept away from the Shining City. The people of the Empire of the Winged Eye are not ready to deal with such obvious signs of the taint, however slight. Inwardly, she swears that will change in her lifetime.
The girl glances up to Vesper’s father, nervous.
‘Hello, Reela,’ says Vesper. ‘It’s me, your mother. I’m back.’
There is a pause. Her father gives a reassuring nod to the little girl before gently nudging her towards Vesper.
Vesper goes down on one knee and opens her arms. ‘It’s okay, I won’t bite.’
The girl comes forward and accepts her mother’s hug. Vesper wonders if perhaps things will not be as bad as she feared.
They all flinch when Reela screams. Ducking under Vesper’s arms, she runs past, the scream bouncing up the stairs until it is silenced by the slam of an upstairs door.
For several minutes, Vesper talks, banishing the rejection of her child with talk of bigger things. Increasingly, her arms wave with enthusiasm. Three men sit round the table, listening: her father, her uncle and her lover.
Reela remains upstairs. From time to time she can be heard jumping around her room and squealing. The sound of boards creaking and high-pitched laughter grow steadily louder.
Vesper tries to ignore it but her right eyelid twitches in time with each new interruption.
‘And,’ Vesper concludes, ‘it means w
e’ll have a place to meet and solve problems, but more than that, we’ll be creating another way to live, where we talk first instead of fighting.’ Another bang from above makes Vesper wince. ‘Where children like Reela can grow up without knowing fear.’ She pauses but nobody speaks. ‘Well, what do you think?’
She looks at each of their faces. Harm’s is a delicate balance, support laced with concern. Her father looks down at the table, frowning. Jem just looks angry.
Several thuds and a shriek from the heavens do little to break the tension.
Harm leans forward, his voice soft. ‘I think it’s very brave what you’re trying to do.’
‘But?’
‘But I’m not sure the Empire is ready. Have you thought about how it might hurt Reela?’
Vesper shakes her head. ‘I’m doing it for Reela and all the others like her. She shouldn’t have to hide in the shadows because the Empire is too small-minded to deal with change!’
‘I agree but you risk making her into a target.’
‘But when you came to the Shining City, Uncle, you didn’t hide.’
Harm smiles sadly. ‘That’s true but I came of my own free will and I knew the risks. And I wasn’t accepted until I’d been purged of taint, and even that is conditional on me living out here.’
‘It shouldn’t be that way. I’m going to put it right.’
‘The people of the Empire have followed you this far because you’ve moved slowly but if you start to directly contradict The Seven’s law … Well, it could end badly for all of us.’
An awkward silence descends. Vesper’s father continues to frown at the tabletop.
‘We saw the cube rising,’ Jem says. ‘Did The Seven do anything?’
‘No. They just flew off, into space maybe? I don’t know, and to be honest, I don’t care. We’ve waited for Them long enough already.’
‘What are you going to do now?’
She looks at him, puzzled. ‘Exactly what I was going to do before. If The Seven decide to make things better, maybe I’ll come back and live here. Until then, the Empire needs us.’
Jem swallows. ‘But … aren’t you afraid?’
She closes the gap between them and takes one of his hands in hers. ‘Of course I’m afraid. But it isn’t going to stop me.’
‘Us,’ adds Harm. ‘It isn’t going to stop us. We’re in this together. A family.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. Actually, it’s a relief. I don’t think my plan’s going to work without you.’
Harm smiles. ‘This sounds ominous.’
She smiles back. ‘I want you to guide the people here, the way you guided me.’
‘I’m no instructor.’
‘No, and I don’t want one. I want someone that can tell them about life across the sea. And, I want you to help them get the idea that not all infernals are the same. That’s what I tried to tell them in my speech but I don’t think they understand. It’s too big.’
Harm nods slowly. ‘It won’t be easy but I have a few ideas. Perhaps I’ll tell them some of my old stories.’
‘Yes, tell them about the city of Verdigris and about Tough Call.’
‘Alright.’
‘Oh, and you have to tell them about the Usurperkin there and how they’re part of the city.’
‘I will.’
‘And I think –’
Harm laughs and Vesper swiftly joins him. And then the two of them are recalling old times, trading names back and forth, swept up in the excitement. Vesper doesn’t notice Jem slipping to the back of the kitchen to make himself a strong drink. Her father does with narrowing eyes.
‘And don’t worry about Reela,’ adds Harm. ‘She’s not usually this bad.’
‘I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.’
‘She’ll come round.’
‘Was I … like her? You can be honest.’
Harm shakes his head. ‘No, you were easier. But don’t worry, she’ll get through it. I think she just misses you.’
‘She’s got a funny way of showing it.’
‘Love can make people behave in very odd ways.’ He coughs, polite. ‘I can’t imagine where Reela gets it from.’
Jem clears his throat, the glass in his hand already half empty. ‘When are you leaving us?’
‘Soon.’
‘And how long will you be gone this time?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘A month? Six months?’ His lower lip curls down as he speaks, ‘A year? Another five years?’
‘I told you, I don’t know.’
‘Harm’s right, you’re going to put us in danger. The Shining City hates us.’
‘That’s ridiculous.’
‘Is that why the Lenses spy on us? They’re probably listening in right now.’
‘The Lenses have a whole world to monitor. They barely know you exist!’
Jem drains his glass, gets up. ‘Sounds familiar.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘Nowhere. If you change your mind, you’re welcome to join me.’
Vesper blinks back tears. ‘I have to do this, don’t you understand?’
‘Yes,’ replies Jem, bitter. ‘I do.’ He walks out of the kitchen. Shortly afterwards the front door slams.
The rhythmic bouncing from upstairs is interrupted by a loud thud, a brief pause, and then crying, shrill and persistent.
Vesper’s father glances towards the sound, then looks at Vesper.
She buries her face in her hands. ‘Not now … I can’t.’
With a sigh, her father rises. He touches Harm’s arm briefly, walks around the table to rest a hand on Vesper’s shoulder, then leaves.
They hear footsteps on creaky stairs, a door opening and closing. The crying becomes muffled, begins to move slowly from left to right above them. Gradually, it subsides.
Harm speaks into the quiet. ‘Why don’t you go up and see her? She misses you.’
‘Alright. Then I need to talk to Jem while there are no other distractions. There are things I need to say, in private.’
‘Good luck.’
She starts to head upstairs, giving Harm a grim nod. ‘Thanks.’
Somehow dealing with her daughter is more exhausting than managing an empire. Handing Reela back to her father and leaving the house is a relief.
She finds Jem standing by the base of the hill, looking out towards the Shining City, reminding her of when she used to do the same.
‘Here goes,’ she murmurs to the sword, strolling down until she stands alongside him. ‘Hi. Mind if I join you?’
He shrugs, sullen.
‘Look,’ she says, taking the sword from off her shoulder and laying it down. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been around.’
A guilty look crosses his face and he seems to deflate. ‘Ah Vesp, I’m sorry for what I said in there. Ever since we got word you’d returned to the Shining City I’ve been waiting for you to come back, and at the end of each day I couldn’t understand why you hadn’t. I’d tell myself that you’d be coming tomorrow, or the day after, and look forward to us being close again. Believe it or not I’ve been excited. I even had plans for some nice things that we could do together.
‘And then when you did show, you started talking about leaving barely five minutes after you arrived. Another long trip overseas … I just couldn’t believe it. That’s when I lost my temper.’ He gives her a lopsided smile. ‘But I suppose you’ve worked out that last bit already.’
She matches his expression. ‘I had a bit of an inkling.’
‘You know, the last thing I wanted was to push you away again.’
‘I do. That’s why I’m here.’ He nods, the last of the tension ebbing from his stance. ‘Would you like to start again?’ she asks. ‘Pretend I’ve just got back?’
‘Please.’
They talk, fingers occasionally touching, tentative, negotiating the bad feelings to find their way to the good. By the time the suns are setting, the conversation flows more easily. Ine
vitably, it becomes nostalgic, returning to their early days together. There is laughter, genuine, and when it passes, an earnestness in Jem’s eyes.
‘I’ve missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you too.’
‘I hate to sour things,’ says Jem, ‘but I need to talk to you about Reela.’
‘Okay. She was tough today. Was she always this noisy?’
‘Yes. But it’s not her fault, it’s your father’s.’
‘How is it his fault?’
‘For one thing, he treats her too much, and for another, he lets her get away with murder. If she breaks something, or is naughty and I’m telling her off, he just picks her up and gives her a cuddle. It completely undermines me. And he gives me one of those looks, you know the ones?’
She sighs. ‘I know the ones.’
‘As if I’m the one that’s done something wrong.’
‘Have you tried talking to Uncle Harm?’
‘Yes, but he’s just as bad as your father. Most of the time he finds Reela’s behaviour funny. They’re getting her into bad habits and stopping me from sorting it out.’
‘I’ll talk to them before I go, okay?’
‘Okay. Thank you. Look, it’s getting dark. We should probably get back inside.’
‘Let’s just stay out here a bit longer.’
‘It’s getting cold.’
She takes his hands in hers. ‘But I’m warm, remember?’
A different kind of glint appears in Jem’s eye. ‘I think so, but it’s been a while. I’m going to need some serious reminding.’
Vesper steps in close, sliding her hands around his waist, kissing him. His nose is like a lump of ice against her cheek, his hands startling on her hips.
She kisses him again, pulling him more firmly to her.
It turns out that Jem does not need much reminding at all. In fact, his memory is very good on the subject. Despite this or perhaps because of it, they stay out long after the suns have set.
CHAPTER TWO
Vesper leaves the next day. Her father watches her march towards the coast with the buck and her personal guard of Seraph Knights, the Order of the Broken Blades. Each member is devoted to Vesper, owing her a personal debt. Their armour glints in the sunslight, pride adding crispness to their movements.