It's still aggressive. Desperate. But there's something protective about it too.
His lips pull away from mine and he looks me straight in the eyes. It's like he'll go out of his mind if I don't answer him immediately.
"Kara." He presses his body against mine. "I'm not going to be like that asshole in the club. Tell me what you want. Now."
I scramble to regain my breath. There are a million things running through my head. But that big flashing sign is knocking all of them aside.
Drew, Drew, Drew.
I shift my hips so I can feel his cock straining against his jeans. "I want you inside me."
He groans. "Fuck yes."
His pupils dilate. He pushes my panties to my knees and drags his hands back to my hips. I kick the underwear off my feet so there's nothing under my skirt.
Drew's hands sink into the flesh of my ass. He kisses me as he pulls my top down. My breasts spill out. His hands cover me immediately, palming me, teasing me, playing with me.
"You're trying to drive me crazy, aren't you?" He groans.
"You've been driving me crazy for ages."
He scrapes his teeth against my lower lip. It's like he's desperate to taste and touch and feel all of me.
His hand goes to his jeans. Unzipped. He slides them to his feet then grabs my hips and turns me around, so I'm facing the wall.
No wasting time. He pulls me closer. His cock is an inch away from my sex. Almost there. He's almost mine.
I press my hands against the wall. I arch my back to rub against him. Yes. His cock brushes my outer lips. My clit. Every touch is a ripple of pleasure.
His lips hover over my ear. "I'm addicted to you."
My legs go weak. If he wasn't pinning me to the wall, I'd sink straight to the dirty ground.
I shift my hips to rub against him again. It feels damn good but it's not enough. I'm addicted to him too, and I need him inside me, completing me.
I need to be his.
We're thirty feet from the sidewalk.
Two feet from the door.
But I don't fucking care.
Drew enters me. I let out a heavy sigh. All the tense muscles in my body relax at once. He's inside me. Right now, nothing else matters—not the fights or the lack of communication or the jealousy.
This feels too good to be bad.
Drew groans. He pinches my nipple. It's not hard enough to hurt. Just enough I know he feels as good as I do, wants me as much as I want him.
He rocks into me. It's hard and fast and desperate.
I throw my head back so my neck is pressed against his cheek. He sucks on my skin. He plays with my nipple. He slides his hand down my stomach, below my bellybutton, over my clit.
It's a shockwave. He already feels so good inside me, and now he's touching me.
I moan.
He keeps his rhythm. His chest is pressed against my back. His hands are on my skin, stroking me and filling me with the most delicious ecstasy.
I turn my head and lean into the wall, arching my back to give him better leverage. I'm outside a club in Hollywood pressed against a dirty wall, getting fucked by my rock star best friend.
And my life used to be so ordinary.
His breath gets heavier. "Touch yourself. I want to hear you come."
He thrusts into me. So hard and deep it hurts. But it's a good hurt. It's such a good hurt.
I pull my hand from the wall and slide it between my legs. My balance is gone. I'm at Drew's mercy.
No time for teasing today. I'm all out of patience. I stroke myself with slow circles. A little harder, a little faster, until it's just right.
My sex clenches.
He groans. "Kara."
I arch my back to drive him deeper. He feels so good inside me. He feels perfect.
My hand is quick. I'm already close.
I lose control of my breath. All my focus goes to the feeling between my legs. The pressure intensifies with every brush of my hand, with every thrust of Drew's cock.
It builds. Tighter. Deeper. Harder.
And then I'm there. Right at the edge.
An orgasm rocks through me. I scream so loudly it cuts through the music coming from the club. Yes. Hell yes. All the yeses a million times in a row.
Drew groans. "Fuck, you feel so good." His nails dig into my skin again.
He thrusts harder.
He's almost there.
He's almost mine.
Drew kisses me. All this need pours from him to me. Maybe he can't explain his feelings, but they're there. Right in his kiss.
He pulls out, readjusting me so we're face to face again. He lifts my leg, hooking it around his waist.
His eyes find mine. "I want to watch you come again." He kisses me hard. "It's the best thing I've ever seen."
He grabs my other leg, hooks it around his waist, lifts me and presses me against the wall.
His eyes stay on mine as he thrusts into me. He moves with a steady rhythm. Not quite as fast or hard or deep, but just as desperate.
His pelvis rubs against my clit. It's enough to send me to the edge.
I try to keep my eyes open, on his, so I can watch the pleasure building on his face. But I can't manage it. I have to close my eyes to hold on to the sensation.
I gasp. Almost there. I get closer and closer. That knot tightens with every thrust. And then I'm there.
"Open your eyes," Drew groans.
I do. I look right into his gorgeous eyes. They're fixed on me. They're filled with pleasure.
It pushes me right over the edge.
I dig my hands into his back. I moan. Hell, I scream.
It's an intense orgasm. I feel it in my fingers and toes. Every part of my body feels good. Every part of it is at peace.
Every part is Drew's.
And even though I'm spent, I need to feel him come too.
He keeps his eyes on mine. One hand goes to my ass and he holds me closer so he can move deeper.
A few thrusts and he starts to shake. He was waiting for me. The man has some serious control over his body.
His lips part. He lets out a low groan and everything in his expression changes. Softer and harder all at once.
He thrusts through his orgasm, sinking his nails into my skin, sinking his teeth into his lip. His breath goes wild. His eyes go wilder. He lets out another low, heavy groan.
He's there. Pulsing inside me. Coming inside me.
Mine.
He keeps me pinned to the wall until he's completely drained.
And then he kisses me, hard and aggressive and still desperate to possess me.
Still mine.
***
We drive for what feels like forever. I nestle into the passenger seat, my head resting against the window, my gaze drifting from Drew to the night sky and back again.
It's late. No one on the freeway. No one in our way. Nothing but big, wide open space.
He has one hand on the wheel. The other is intertwined with mine. The crooks of his fingers are pressed against mine. His calloused fingertips are pressed against the back of my hand. He's so soft and hard all at once.
We pass Thousand Oaks and Ventura. The 101 curves so it's nestled up against the beach. The ocean goes on forever—a gorgeous dark blue reflecting a sky full of stars.
Drew gets off the freeway just south of Santa Barbara. He drives like he knows the area well. We take side streets to a wide-open field in the middle of nowhere. It's up on some gorgeous hill across from million-dollar homes. The view is all ocean and sky.
It's perfect.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
"I've never actually tried stargazing before." Drew sits on the grass in one smooth motion. He pats his lap.
I sit next to him in a much less smooth motion. The cold night air rushes around my skin. But there's no way I'm getting back in the car now.
He widens his stance and slides me right between his legs.
"I think the point is to cuddle up under a blanket,"
I say.
"Damn. Should have brought a blanket."
"You need to be prepared. Never know when you'll be taken with the desire to fuck a girl in a field or on the beach."
He laughs. "I can make it work without the blanket."
This tightness forms in my chest. Not thinking about Drew making it work with other girls. It's no secret he's experienced.
He runs his fingers through my hair. "I scared you, didn't I?"
"I know you were a slut.”
"At the show. I don't want to hurt you."
"You've said that a few times." I lean into his touch. "But I'm not sure that you really understand what it means."
"Is that a challenge, Kendrick?"
"Yeah, it is." The muscles in my back tense. "You don't get to string me along then make it better by saying things like I don't want to hurt you. If you really want to avoid hurting me, then tell me what the hell you want from this. No excuses about how much you fuck girls up." My voice drops. "Not that I doubt you. You're driving me crazy."
"I want all of you. Whatever that means."
"So you want to be my boyfriend?"
He drags his fingertips across my neck. "Do I have to call it that?"
"How old are you?"
"Old enough to know better." He slides his arm around my waist.
"I need more than 'I want all of you.' Do you want a romantic relationship and all that boyfriend/girlfriend shit or not?"
He presses his lips against my neck. "You make it sound awfully tempting like that."
"I'm not going to beg you to love me." Shit. There's no sense in using the l-word. That's only going to terrify him. I clear my throat. "I mean to be with me."
"Will you beg me to do other things to you?" he asks.
Hell yeah. I shrug my shoulders like I’m unfazed. "What other things?"
His fingertips graze the top of my skirt. "I'd demonstrate, but then you'd accuse me of trying to distract you with my unbelievably skilled hands." His breath is on my ear. "Or mouth."
Nope. Not going to get distracted. Not going to lose sight of my point here. Though, really, is it better to make a point or to get Drew's hands on my—
I clear my throat. "If you earn it."
He laughs. "Why do you have to go reminding me why I like you so much?" He holds me closer. "Makes it hard to negotiate."
"I can remind you of my bad traits."
"What bad traits?"
"I let my best friend drive me crazy instead of demanding he put up or shut up."
"That so?"
"Oh, it's so." I slide my fingertips over his forearms. "I have a weakness for guitarists with tattoos."
"And great bodies?"
"Well, obviously." I take a deep breath. "I hide my feelings from everyone and I never let anyone help me."
"I noticed." His voice is soft, giving. "I didn't get back in touch with you so I could fuck you."
"I hope not. You'd have some really terrible game to take this long."
He laughs. "I was desperate to talk to someone who would treat me like a person."
"As opposed to?"
"Some kind of rock idol." He leans closer. "Vivian and I broke up and then I went through some bad shit. When I bounced back, I tried hard to remember the last time I really cared about someone. And that was you."
"So I'm your rebound best friend?"
"Yeah. But you're more than that." He kisses my ear. "You're everything."
He makes this so fucking difficult.
I take a deep breath. "Why don't you tell me about that?"
He moves closer. " It doesn't paint me in a good light."
"I want to know the ugly parts of you too."
Drew's voice gets heavy. "My relationship with Vivian was a train wreck. It was the first time I had a girlfriend beyond that high school ‘date for a month, make out at lunch because you have nothing in common but popularity’ shit."
I cringe, trying not to remember seeing Drew with other girls in high school.
"It was casual until the first Sinful tour. She made this big deal about keeping in touch. It was nice, at first, having someone back home to talk to. Went bad so fast. She manipulated me to get my attention. I was an asshole. When we broke up, I swore I'd never be that jealous again."
I scoff. "This is you trying not to be jealous?"
"I'm trying to give you a meaningful speech here. Don't sass me."
"Then don't say stupid things."
He bites my neck. "You keep using that mouth and I'm going to get distracted."
Sharp inhale. Slow exhale. Not getting distracted. Not at all. "What was so train wreck about it?"
"We'd fight one day. She'd say whatever she could to hurt me as much as she could. Then, the next day we'd make up and she'd cry and say whatever she could to win me over. I don't blame her. I was just as awful. I told her I loved her, but I didn't feel it. I thought it would be better telling her what she wanted to hear, but deep down, she saw through it. It made everything worse."
"You knew you didn’t love her?"
He nods. “Deep down, I knew that love felt different. Stronger. But I wanted to make her happier.” His voice softens. “The words felt like a lie. They were hollow. Something to recite at the end of a phone call. Ruined any chance we had. I couldn’t take it back. I couldn’t look at her the same way. She became the girl I was supposed to love but didn’t.”
“You never fell in love with her?”
"Never. By that point, I didn’t even like her. Ask me now, and I can't tell you a single thing I ever liked about her. But I had to win. I had to prove I was right, that I wouldn't be the one to give up on our relationship."
That certainly sounds like Drew.
"I didn't want to see her after the tour. We'd sit there, watching a movie, not talking, not fucking because we didn't care about each other enough to bother. Certainly didn't trust each other enough to go bareback."
"You are aware of condoms."
"Yes, Kendrick, I am aware of condoms. But asking your girl if you should wear one out of nowhere is accusing her of cheating."
"Was she cheating?"
"Hardly matters at this point. I wasn't invested anymore. Our second tour, shit got really bad. We’d fight, ignore each other, make apologies we didn’t mean. One night, I was too fucking tired to do it anymore. She was crying and threatening to end things if I didn't skip the show to talk to her. Aidan was screaming at me to get on stage. So I dared her to end things and that was it."
"You must have learned something."
"Yeah," he says. "I learned I drive girls crazy. I swore off relationships. But touring is hard. You're away from home, you're stuck with loud, opinionated guys for sixteen hours straight. By the end of the night, I needed something that would make me feel alive. Something besides my guitar. I thought it would be okay if I was clear it was just sex, but it never worked out that way."
My head flashes with images of Drew fucking away his pain.
"I don't want that to happen to you," he says. "You mean more to me than anyone ever has."
"Even your ex?"
"That was an immature infatuation."
My heart thuds against my chest. "So what is this?"
"More than that." He takes my hand. "I'm not gonna say it, Kara—not until I'm sure—but my feelings for you are a whole lot more than like."
So I'm mad for a guy who can't say the word love. There are worse things in life.
In theory.
I take a deep breath. "What does that mean?"
"I need you to help me figure out this relationship thing. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you what I need."
"I like that idea."
"Good." He runs his fingers through my hair. "So tell me why you were upset this afternoon."
"What if I don't want to talk about it?"
He rubs his cheek against mine. "I want to hear about it."
I lean in to his touch.
"I need to hear about it." He lower
s his voice. "I need to know every thought inside your brain."
"Those don't sound like very healthy boundaries."
"How about we compromise at ninety-nine percent of your thoughts?"
"Your definition of the word compromise is different than mine."
"Yeah, I figured," he says. "So, a flat ninety percent sounds good?"
"Drew."
He runs his fingertips over my outer ear. "I want to help you with this."
The stars are bright and brilliant. It's quiet. Calm. Like there's nothing in the world except for me and Drew.
He plays with my hair. "You don't have to do this alone, you know. Whenever you need me, I'm there."
"It was my mom. Arranging spring break. She's so excited for me to shadow her, and I have to tell her that I'm not coming home. That she's going to be all alone again."
"I'll come with you. We can drive up together. Explore the city while your mom's at work."
"I don't know if that's a good idea."
"Give me one reason why it's not."
Besides my inability to think anything but need Drew now when I'm around him? I turn around so we're eye to eye. Drew's hands go to my hips. In one smooth motion, he lies back on the grass and pulls me onto his lap.
I plant my hands on his chest. "You're distracting."
His hands slide up my sides, all the way to my shoulders. He pulls my body into his, so we're only six inches apart. "I'll keep you focused."
"I would be more inclined to believe you if we weren't in the perfect position to fuck."
Drew shakes his head with mock outrage. "Your mind is always in the gutter."
He pulls me into a slow, sweet kiss. There's so much affection in it. Just like in the alley, everything inside him is pouring into me. I can feel him in my bones. I can feel how much he cares about me. Even if it's only care.
The kiss breaks. I stare into his eyes. Those brown eyes are deep and they're filled with tenderness.
The words form in my throat, but I swallow to push them back down. I'm not ready to say it either.
He brushes a stray hair behind my ear. "Hey."
I shift closer. "Hey."
"I want to be there to hold your hand."
A warmth spreads through my belly. It's not lust. Same ballpark, just as demanding, but softer and sweeter.
"Okay," I say. "But just to hold my hand. I'm the one in charge."
Strum Your Heart Out (Sinful Serenade #2) Page 16