“That’s not a very funny joke.” Jake stepped closer, arms still crossed.
“Kids don’t always care about that.” Chief Woodley ran a hand through his thinning hair and held out the note to me. “Listen, kid, do what’s best. Go home and forget about this.”
“No way.” My frustration bubbled over and I couldn’t help but raise my voice. “This is the first lead to finding Hannah. We can’t ignore it.”
“There is nothing here. Look, if my people don’t find anything down there I could charge you with falsely reporting a crime, but I don’t want to do that because I want to think this is all a mix up. Should I be thinking something else?”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Chief Woodley raised an eyebrow. I sighed and shook my head. If he didn’t believe me, I wasn’t sure what else I could say to convince him. I flinched when hands gripped my shoulders.
“Come on, Alissa. Why don’t you head home like the chief said.”
I turned to Jake. His eyes were sympathetic as he walked me to my car. The air felt thick and my breathing forced. I let Jake help me into my car and reflexively put my hands on the steering wheel.
“Thanks,” I muttered, embarrassed and confused by everything that happened.
“No problem.” He smiled and I noticed his dimples again. For a moment, I thought he was going to say something else. Instead, he stepped back and closed my door. He knocked on the roof of my car and backed away with a small wave.
Chapter Ten
I picked at my dinner that night, rolling peas across my plate in a way I hadn’t since I was little. The chicken tasted like chalk dust and the only thing I managed to stomach were a few bites of mashed potatoes.
Mom frowned at me. “Alissa, you need to eat something besides carbs. You’ll end up the size of Aunt Martha if you keep eating like that.”
“Thanks for that.” Aunt Martha was near three hundred pounds and I’d seen her eat damn near a bowl of mashed potatoes at more than one family gathering.
“You need to remember you aren’t getting much exercise now that you’re not doing cheer squad. You don’t wanna let yourself go. You’ll be going to college soon and you don’t want to put on the freshman fifteen like I did.”
I nodded absently. I’d heard it a million times. After losing that same freshman fifteen Mom vowed not to gain a single pound. I wasn’t sure if she’d managed to keep that vow, but she was obsessed with keeping up her appearance. Since I hit puberty, she’d focused on my appearance almost as much. It was getting old.
“Do you feel all right, honey?” Dad asked. He wiped his mouth with his napkin, raising his bushy eyebrows at me. His light brown hair was starting to thin, but those eyebrows didn’t seem to be going anywhere. “Not coming down with something?”
“I’m okay.” I shoved my plate away, no longer able to feign interest. “I had a big snack when I got home.”
“Not chips I hope.” Mom nudged her peas farther from her potatoes so she didn’t accidentally eat any. God forbid carbs pass her lips.
I glared at her, but she was oblivious, patting at her perfectly maintained blond hair. “May I be excused?”
Dad nodded and I went into the living room. I turned on the TV just so that they would think I was watching. My brain was a million miles away though, as it had been all afternoon.
I kept going round in circles trying to figure out what was going on. I’d been convinced that Lana’s killer had taken Hannah too. Why else send me that note? Now, I wasn’t sure that was the case. How would they know about me and Hannah?
It briefly crossed my mind that maybe it was some local creep, but I pushed the thought aside for the moment. It was too freaky to consider. If the chief was right and it was just a really mean joke, then I’d landed on the idea that Rachel was the one behind it. She was the only person I could think of who could know so much about my relationship with Lana. Plus, it stood to reason that she might want to get back at me for how I treated Lana. I was convinced that the clothes in the tunnel were Hannah’s, but it wouldn’t take much research to figure out what Hannah was wearing when she disappeared and recreate her outfit bloodied in a dark tunnel.
The hoodie was the one thing I couldn’t quite get to make sense. It was the same school sweatshirt a lot of us had so it wouldn’t have been hard to plant in my locker, but I swore it smelled like Hannah.
“Did you see this?” Dad asked.
I jumped, startled to find him standing behind the couch, watching the TV. “Jeez, Dad. You scared the hell out of me.”
“Sorry.” He walked around and sank onto the couch beside me, leaning forward with his hands clasped under his chin. “I just can’t believe this.”
He was focused on the TV, so I turned my attention to it as well. A picture of Hannah filled the screen. I bit my lip, unease making me momentarily lightheaded.
“Local police responded to a call suggesting a clue in the case of missing Walnut Grove girl, Hannah Desarno, this afternoon. The girl hasn’t been seen since last Friday night when she left her house to walk to the local grocery store. Police say the tip fell through and nothing of interest was found at the site.”
“You doing okay?” Dad squeezed my hand.
“Yeah.”
“You still haven’t heard from her?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“I’m sorry, honey.”
I nodded, keeping my eyes glued to the TV as Hannah’s image disappeared. To my surprise, a video interview of Chief Woodley appeared.
“You get a lot of reports like this when anyone goes missing. People want to help. I like to believe these reports come from people truly concerned. In this case, I want everyone to know they can relax a little. I spoke with the girl’s parents this afternoon and they’ve received word from her that all is well.”
Dad and I exchanged a look. Without saying anything I dove forward and grabbed my phone from the coffee table. I dialed Hannah’s number and waited while it rang and rang before going to voice mail. I hung up and pulled up her land line. After two rings, her mom answered.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Mrs. Desarno? It’s Alissa. I just saw on the news that you heard from Hannah?” My nerves were going crazy, making my whole body tingle as I waited for her response.
“Yes.”
I paused a beat, waiting for more, but she stayed silent. “What did she say?”
“She’s in Chicago, just like we thought.”
“Could you ask her to call me when you talk to her again?” The line was silent long enough for me to think I’d lost the call. “Mrs. Desarno?”
“I’m sorry. If Hannah still isn’t taking your calls, I think you need to respect that. She obviously was in need of some space from you. Good night.”
I pulled the phone from my ear and barely restrained myself from hurling it across the room. Instead, I let out a frustrated growl and threw my head back against the couch.
“Why does she have to be such a bitch?”
“What did she say?” Dad winced. He knew the Desarnos weren’t really on board with Hannah’s relationship with me. Not that my mom was either, but thank God for my dad because he had really come around.
“Hannah called from Chicago. She isn’t going to ask Hannah to call me because obviously Hannah needs a little space from me.”
“I’m sorry.” Dad shook his head. “Try and remember how hard this is on them. It’s probably a lot easier for them to believe that Hannah left because of you.”
“It’s hard on me too.” I crossed my arms and slouched even farther into the couch.
“What’s going on?” Mom asked as she entered the room.
“Nothing,” I muttered.
“She just spoke to Mrs. Desarno. Hannah called to tell them she is in Chicago.”
Mom smiled. “Well, that’s good news, isn’t it? She’s safe.” She sank onto the love seat and took a sip of red wine.
“Not really.” I sighed.
“I
s that the Merlot?” Dad asked.
“Yes.”
“That looks good.” Dad stood. “Anyone want anything from the kitchen?”
We both shook our heads and he disappeared.
Mom leaned forward. “Alissa, I know you think you are in love with Hannah, and she is a sweet girl, but maybe it is time to let go of this whole thing.”
“You mean my being a lesbian?” I asked dryly.
“It’s only a phase for so many girls.” Mom took another sip of wine. “Perhaps Hannah met someone else and didn’t have the heart to tell you. That might be why she isn’t answering her phone.”
“Thanks, Mom, I feel better now.” I stared at the TV and hoped she would take the hint.
“So, are you planning on going to the Halloween dance with anyone?”
I rolled my head toward her and fixed her with a death glare. “No.”
“Oh, come on. Wouldn’t it be nice to tag along with Madison and Genny again?”
I snorted. “Not really. Even if it would be nice, they wouldn’t let me go with them in a million years.”
Mom picked at her lip and I knew she was planning her next attack. She wasn’t willing to give up on the idea of me being popular. Of course she had no idea what I’d done to maintain my popularity. No, in her mind Madison and Genny were nice girls who I was lucky to count as friends. I turned away, hoping that would get her to lay off. No such luck.
“What about Nick? He’s such a nice boy. He used to be so in love with you. It’s been so nice seeing him around here again. Maybe you two could go to the dance. It would be good for people to see you with a guy again.”
“Seriously, Mom?” I stood, floored that she had actually suggested I start dating Nick. Dad walked back into the room, stopping in the doorway. He looked completely lost in his old Buffalo Bills T-shirt and stained “home” jeans. “I’m not interested in Nick, or any other guy for that matter. I have a girlfriend, but I know you like to forget that.”
Before she could reply, I left the room, pushing past Dad. I turned down the hallway toward the stairs and leaned against the wall. I didn’t want to be alone in my room anymore, but I wasn’t sure where I wanted to be.
“What are you thinking?” I heard Dad in the living room. He was using his whisper-yell that was always louder than he thought. I crept back toward the doorway to hear better. “Her girlfriend has taken off on her and you’re suggesting she go out with Nick?”
“I’m sorry, but I refuse to let this phase destroy her last year of high school.”
Dad let out a low growl of frustration. “I don’t think this is a phase, and you need to wrap your head around that. Alissa isn’t going to be dating boys.”
“Lots of girls feel this way sometimes. She’ll meet the right boy. She’s only seventeen. She doesn’t have any idea how this will ruin the rest of her life.”
I bit my lip, eyes stinging at her words. Dad came to my rescue again.
“The only thing ruining her life right now is a mother who won’t accept her for who she is.”
“I love her.”
“I know, but you need to stop badgering her to be the person you want her to be. Otherwise, she’s going to drop out of our lives as soon as she leaves for college.”
I heard one of them crossing the living room, and I darted down the hall and up the stairs to my room. I sat at my desk and spread the note out in front of me. If Hannah had called her parents that meant this was nothing more than a really mean joke. Looking at the note made me remember another note I’d gotten just after Lana disappeared.
I pulled open a drawer and dug through until I found what I was looking for. The metal box was a six-inch gray square covered in flower stickers from a much younger time in my life. I set it on the desk and spun the dials to unlock it. Inside was a random collection of things I wanted to keep private. I dug past the notes from Hannah, paused to pick up a picture of Madison, Genny, and me doing shots, and finally pulled a thin diary from the bottom.
I’d kept the diary when my relationship with Lana was just starting. My feelings for her had blindsided me. I’d never dated a guy seriously, but I’d still assumed I was straight. Lana set that idea upside down and kicked it to the curb. With her, I finally understood why people were so obsessed with hooking up.
I wasn’t looking for a trip down memory lane though. I was looking for the note. I’d slid it into the diary along with the one picture I had of Lana and me. I stared at the picture. Aside from the big chunk of red at the front, Lana’s dark hair was pulled back. Her eyes were rimmed with eyeliner, but lacked their usual seriousness. My blond hair was all pulled over one shoulder and seemed to take up half the picture. We were sitting on a rock near the creek and I was smiling like crazy while Lana kissed my cheek. Had we really been that happy? It seemed impossible knowing everything that happened. I found the note and set everything else aside but the two notes.
The older note had been folded and unfolded so many times that it was starting to tear. I read the words again and felt the same chill slip up my spine.
Liar, liar pants on fire…someone’s gonna burn.
Both were typed on lined paper, but looking closer I realized it wasn’t actually notebook paper. It had been printed to look that way. I leaned back. You didn’t have to be Nancy Drew to figure out they were sent by the same person.
Chapter Eleven
I moved through the next day feeling like a zombie. I didn’t get much sleep and the sleep I did get was riddled with nightmares. It had to be Rachel. It made sense that she would have sent the note after Lana disappeared and would have seized the opportunity to do it again when Hannah left.
The first note had freaked me out before I figured it was one final jab from Lana. I figured I deserved it and pushed both the note and Lana from my mind.
I was embarrassed to think how easily I’d allowed myself to be drawn back into Madison and Genny’s world. By the time we started junior year, I barely thought about Lana. No one knew if she was alive or dead, but life kept moving forward. I let myself get wrapped up in trips to the mall, school dances, and cheerleading. It wasn’t until I met Hannah that I thought about Lana again for more than a passing moment.
Now, it was clear the two notes were sent by the same person and my money was on Rachel. She was the just sort of person to think it was cool to own a typewriter. I watched her in school, looking for any sign she was the one who sent the note. If she noticed me watching her, she didn’t give any indication.
“Hey!”
I turned to see Nick jogging to catch up with me. He slowed as he neared, hiking his backpack farther up on his shoulder before tugging up his baggy jeans.
“You know, they have these things called belts,” I said.
“Oh, yeah?” Nick grinned. “I think I’ve heard of them. You need to be pretty well off to afford them though, don’t you?”
I laughed. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, I just figured maybe you’d wanna give me a ride home.” Nick’s crooked grin made him look younger than he was.
“Where’s your truck?”
Nick adjusted his baseball cap as he spoke. “New tires. I dropped it off this morning and walked over. I was gonna pick it up now, but they called earlier saying they had to order the tires so now I don’t get it until Monday.”
“Yeah, I can give you a ride.”
“Cool, thanks.” We walked silently through the hall, but I could feel him glancing at me. As we stepped out into the crisp October afternoon, he pulled his hood up over his hat. “So…I heard Hannah called her parents yesterday.”
“Yeah.” I buried my hands in my pockets. I so did not want to talk about this.
“You hear from her?” He glanced around as if wary of being overheard.
“No.”
Nick stayed silent until we were sitting in my car. I started the engine and pulled into the line of cars leaving the parking lot. I hoped Nick wasn’t going to ask anything else, but I knew from expe
rience he probably was.
“How about that fake tip someone called in to the cops?” Nick asked, glancing at me and then back out the window. “You think they did it on purpose?”
I shrugged. “The cops didn’t seem to think that, at least from what I saw on the news.” I hoped I wasn’t blushing as I lied.
“Yeah, I saw that too.” He hesitated a moment before continuing. “Sorry Hannah didn’t call you.”
“It’s okay.” I sighed. “She will when she’s ready.”
“Well, you know I’m here if you need to vent.” Nick didn’t look at me when he spoke. Instead, he sat looking out the passenger window, biting his thumb nail.
“I know.” Not for the first time, I found myself wishing I could be attracted to a guy like Nick. He was nice. My parents both liked him. It would have made everything so much easier to like him. “What are you doing tonight?” I asked as we pulled out of the parking lot.
“Funny you should ask that.” Nick gave me a sly smile as he turned from the window. “There’s this party up on Hanger Hill. You up for it?”
I laughed. “No way. I’m barely holding it together.”
“All the more reason to get out and let loose a little. Cameron’s parents are out of town and he’s got everything ready to go for a bonfire. It should be an awesome night.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Sounds like trouble. The cops will bust it before it even gets started.”
“No way, Cameron lives on this huge farm that’s like a mile from the road. His parents already said he could do the bonfire, they just don’t think quite so many people are coming.” Nick grinned. “Or that there will be booze.”
“I’m really not in the mood for a party.” I was in the mood to pull the covers over my head and disappear.
“Come on, Alissa. It’s our senior year. Get out of your head for a little while and let’s have some fun.”
I sighed again. “I don’t know.”
“Well, I’m not going to have a ride if you don’t go, which means I’ll have to sit at home alone on a Friday night. By myself. With no friends.” Nick tried to hold back his smile, knowing this would probably convince me. “While all my friends are out at a party having a good time.”
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