I let Nick pull me into a hug. His arms felt good around me. Safe and secure. Soon my tears stopped and I pulled back, wiping the wetness from my face. I froze when Nick pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.
“You are so damn beautiful.” His voice was hoarse.
“Nick,” I said.
He leaned forward, his lips just brushing mine as I pulled back. He sat up again, scowling and quickly started the car. I didn’t dare say anything on the ride to the police station.
Chapter Twenty-eight
The sun was just beginning to dip low on the horizon as we neared the station. The tension was so high in the truck that the five minute ride felt more like an hour. I grabbed my bag and reached for the door.
“Alissa?”
I paused when Nick spoke. “Yeah?”
He turned to me. “I’m sorry. I was out of line out there.” He still looked pissed, so I knew it was costing him to make the apology.
Relief filled me. “It’s okay.” I took a step back. “You just going to wait out here?” He nodded, staring straight out the windshield with his jaw tight. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”
I slammed the door and hurried up the walk. A different officer was working the desk, but I barely noticed him. Jake stood at his desk and hurried my way before I was in the door.
“I got her.” He smiled to the guy at the desk and took my elbow to lead me toward the back.
We walked through a long hallway before he used a key card to let us into another room. This one was manned by two officers, a man and woman, who looked bored. The man nodded to us as Jake led me up to his desk.
“I got a visitor for Kinner.”
The man frowned. “I didn’t see that on the schedule.”
“Come on, Tom, the guy hasn’t been here twenty-four hours. There isn’t a schedule.”
Tom snorted and waved us by. I gave him a nervous smile and let Jake pull me through another door that required a key card. Behind it, there was a short hall with three cells on either side. A middle aged man in a flannel shirt lay on the cot in his cell with his back to us. He was the only other person there besides Brandon.
“Kinner.” Jake stepped up close to a cell.
“Yeah?” Brandon sounded almost bored.
“You got company.”
I stepped up to the bars, wrapping my hands around two of them. Brandon squinted at me from his cot and groaned. He pushed himself up and shuffled over to me, his dirty white socks soft and quiet on the floor.
“Alissa, what the hell are you doing here?” He rubbed his eye looking more like a child woken too early from a nap than a guy facing second DWI charges.
I glanced at Jake and he took a step back. “I’ll be right outside that door.” He pointed back to the main door. “Make it quick, I’ll catch hell if Woodley finds you back here.”
“Thanks.” I managed a small smile.
“It’s nothing.” Jake grinned and hurried back to the door.
I didn’t turn to Brandon until the door was closed.
“Why did you lie about what happened with Lana?”
“Huh?”
“You hit on her in the car and you went to the motel with her.”
Brandon’s sleepy looking face filled with fear. “Shh, keep it down. How the hell do you know that?”
“So the cops don’t know?” I didn’t bother to keep my voice low.
“No,” Brandon whispered. His eyes darted toward the camera mounted on the wall at the end of the hall. “What do you want from me?”
“Tell me the truth about what happened. And tell me why you lied.”
Brandon ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Okay, yeah, I made some moves on Lana after I picked her up. She was always hot as hell and hearing her talk about being a lesbian got me worked up.” He shrugged. “I’m a dude. In a situation like that the lower brain tends to take over.” He waved a hand toward his groin.
I snorted. “I get it. Go on.”
“So yeah, I put my hand on her thigh and asked her to hook up. She said no. I dropped her off at the bus station, but went and parked in the motel lot to, you know.”
“I don’t think I do.” I raised an eyebrow.
He pursed his lips and glanced around before leaning forward. “I went to rub one off.”
“Oh, God.” I stepped back from the bars. “You’re disgusting.”
“I’m a guy,” he said with a half-smile. “It wouldn’t have been safe to drive home like that.”
“Then what?” I prompted, stepping closer again.
“I saw her going into a motel room and I thought I’d take a second shot at it.” He shrugged. “I knocked on the door and she pulled it open right away like she was expecting someone. When she saw me she yanked me right in. I was thinking things were going my way, but then she punched me in the chest and asked why the hell I was there.”
“Sounds like Lana.” I smirked.
Brandon cocked his head. “Did you know her?”
“Not well,” I said quickly. “Go on.”
“She said no one could know where she was because her parents would find her. I guess she was waiting for some guy to meet her there and help her get away.”
“Did you see him?”
“No.” Brandon shook his head. “Right after I got there, this other family pulled up and started unloading their crap and like eight kids into the next room so Lana wouldn’t let me leave. She made it very clear she didn’t want me there though. I was there for maybe ten minutes while this family got moved in and then she kicked me out.”
“Did she ask you to help her get away?”
Brandon considered that a moment. “No, not really. She asked me if I ever thought about leaving town.”
“What did you say?”
He scratched his neck. “I said no. I mean, all my friends are here, I got a job and my band. I’m happy. Right about then she kicked me out.”
“So why not tell the cops all this? Why lie to us?”
“The cops were already sure I killed her. No one saw us at the motel so I figured there was no reason to bring that up. Plus, when they first hauled me in she was still a runaway as far as I knew. I didn’t want to mess stuff up for her. After they found her remains, I was too scared to go back on what I’d said. I lied to you to keep the story straight.” He pressed himself to the bars. “I’m not a friggin’ killer. I mean, I was a vegetarian for a couple years. You can ask people. I couldn’t have done what that guy did to her. The gross shit I saw in those pictures…” He shook his head.
There was no sign of the subtle smile from the last time he mentioned the pictures. I studied him for a long moment before I decided I believed him. Maybe it was how pitiful he looked in the cell, but I just didn’t think he had it in him.
“What do you know about Hannah Desarno?”
“Nothing?” He looked even more confused. “I mean I saw on the news she was missing, but didn’t they figure out she just ran off or something?”
I stepped back from the bars. “Thanks.” I turned to leave.
“Wait.”
“Yeah?” I turned back.
“You—” He swallowed hard, reaching through the bars toward me. “You won’t tell them will you? The cops?”
I considered a moment and then shook my head. “No. Not now.”
He sagged with relief and I went to the door. Jake let me out and led me back through the station.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“Kind of.”
“Good. I know it’s hard to see a friend behind bars.”
I nodded absently.
“Anything else going on with your friend Hannah?”
For a moment, I considered telling him everything. Then I could hear Nick’s voice in my head reminding me that everything we’d learned was about Lana. Nothing could tie this guy to Hannah. I’d already cried wolf twice.
“Nothing.”
Jake held the front door for me. “Well, remember to call if you find some
thing solid.” He hesitated a moment and then added. “I’ve been doing some looking into it for you too.”
I turned to him in surprise. “Really?”
Jake grinned. “Yeah. Woodley would kill me, but if there’s a chance your friend didn’t run away on her own, I think we need to look into it.”
Appreciation swelled in me and I could have hugged him. I settled for a quick “thanks,” and ran toward Nick’s truck.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Dinner was a silent affair. I think Mom could tell I was still pissed at her, which was a miracle since usually she was oblivious. She pushed around her pasta like it was diseased, but I enjoyed the spicy sausage Dad added to the sauce.
“This is really good.” I reached for a second piece of garlic bread. Mom pursed her lips. It made me want to grab two.
“Thanks.” Dad smiled and wiped sauce from his face. “I was in the mood for Italian. We don’t eat pasta enough.”
“Because it is nothing but empty calories.” Mom picked a piece of broccoli from the sauce, pushing cheese off it before she ate it.
“It’s whole grain pasta and I added vegetables to the sauce.” Dad sighed. “Could you just enjoy food for one day?”
Mom put on a smile. “I’m sorry. You’re right.” She speared one piece of pasta and ate it. “It’s delicious. Thanks for cooking tonight.”
“Seriously,” I said. If it were up to Mom we’d be having steamed broccoli and salmon or something. Probably with brown rice.
“So how was your day?” Actual dinner conversation? Dad was on cloud nine.
“Okay.” It was a complete lie. “School is school.”
“Nick stopped by after school,” Mom said. “It was good to see them together.”
Dad gave her a look. “It’s nice to see you two are becoming friends again,” he said cautiously.
“Yeah.” I nodded. I didn’t want to get into it. Mom would bring up the idea that I should date him, and I would get mad. I would get extra mad since I could still feel him trying to kiss me. I pushed my plate away. “Care if I go upstairs? I have a lot of homework.”
“Of course,” Dad said.
“But, honey, we just started to talk.” Mom took my hand as I passed, pulling me to a stop.
I squirmed, eager to be free. “I really don’t want to talk about Nick. I already know what you’re going to say.”
I pulled free and headed for the stairs. I heard Dad’s low mutter. I knew he’d be berating her for getting on me about Nick. I hated how much they had been fighting lately and knew it was all because of me. I wished I could just date Nick.
As soon as the thought crossed my mind I felt a stab of anger sliding through me. Why did Mom have to make me feel like this? Why did it matter so damn much to her who I wanted to be with? It was one thing for Madison and Genny to care, but having my Mom react the same way was a complete betrayal.
I did have a lot of homework and I tried to get it done, suffering through a take home practice quiz for history and getting halfway through my psychology homework before I gave up and turned on my computer. I needed to know if someone was finding vulnerable girls in one of the chat rooms.
Out of curiosity I Googled “kidnapping gay teens,” wondering if maybe whoever took Lana and Hannah had a history of it. I was completely grossed out when most of the results were either porn or stories about parents arranging for their child to be kidnapped and taken to a reprogramming camp. I couldn’t believe people honestly thought putting their children through hell to make them straight was ever going to work. It made me feel slightly better about how Mom was reacting.
I pulled one of the pamphlets from my bag and brought up the website. It was a friendly place, full of rainbows and teens with smiling faces, as if being gay was its own sort of utopia. I clicked through some of the pages, but found no way to interact with anyone, aside from sending an e-mail. I jotted out a quick e-mail detailing my woes of a life post coming out. Mom didn’t understand, parents fighting, unsure if I’d ever be happy because the girls I met kept leaving. I smirked at my own dark humor, but quickly sobered. It was nothing to laugh about.
Just as I was typing in the next address, there was a knock at my door. I quickly returned to Google.
“Come in.” I pulled my psychology notebook in front of me before Dad walked in.
“Hey there, kiddo.” His smile was pained. “How’s the homework going?”
“Fine.” I shrugged. “Just looking stuff up for Psych.”
“That’s great.” He put one hand on his hip and rubbed his just starting bald spot with the other. “I used to have to go to the library for that stuff, you know?”
I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “Yeah, I know. Didn’t you have to walk eight miles to school too? Both ways?”
“Uphill.” Dad grinned. “In no shoes.”
“Through snow and past starving wild animals?”
“Of course. God, do I really sound that old? I mean, I grew up watching TV with indoor plumbing.”
I laughed. “I know.”
“It’s just the Internet in the last little bit. It’s gone crazy.” He shook his head with a half-grin. “Anyway, can we have a little chat?”
“Sure.” I spun in my chair, following him as he went to sit on my bed. “What’s up?”
“I saw the way you ran out on dinner tonight.”
I crossed my arms. “I couldn’t handle one more minute of her trying to tell me I’m not gay. Did she tell you she practically had Nick and me living together for college?”
“What?” Dad’s face twisted in confusion.
“Nick said his mom wants him to start out at the community college. Mom said that I was probably going there too since I haven’t even started applying to other places yet.”
“You still have some time.”
“Right? That’s what I thought. I honestly think she has it in her head that Nick and I are going to run off and get married.” I half-spun the chair, letting out some of the angry energy filling me. “She’d probably be happy if I came home pregnant because it would mean there was a guy in my life.”
Dad chuckled. “I don’t think so. She just wants things to be easier for you.”
“They would be easier if she would stop badgering me.” I felt like I’d said that a hundred times. I spun again.
“I know.” Dad held up a hand. “Trust me. I’ve told her that over and over. She has it in her head that you’ll never get married or have kids.”
“Or live a normal life because I’ll be burned as a witch.” I pulled my hair over my shoulder, examining the ends for splits. “She knows what year we live in right?”
He sighed. “I know how hard this is on you. I can’t imagine how hard it was to tell us and then your mom acts this way and Hannah takes off.” He shook his head. “I worry about you right now. Not a dozen years in the future.”
“Thanks.” I smiled softly. My dad, just a giant marshmallow man. I hugged myself. “Hannah leaving has been hard.” The idea that a crazy man kidnapped her was even harder, but of course I didn’t say that. “I mean, being with her was the only reason I even told you guys. I knew Mom would blow a gasket. You remember when I wanted that remote control car when I was little? She said it was a boy toy and I couldn’t have it.”
“I got it for you anyway.” Dad smiled at the memory.
“And I loved it. I’m just saying Mom’s always been a little whacked. At least she finally seems to get it that Madison and Genny aren’t my friends anymore.”
Dad scowled. “I never liked those girls. Too superficial. I missed the kids you hung around with when you were younger. As bad as I felt for you when those girls deserted you, I was glad to see Nick start coming around again. I like Hannah too. She is a kind girl and I can tell she really cares about you. I bet this whole Chicago thing is just a misunderstanding.”
“Thanks.” I hoped he was right. With everything that was going on I’d love to find out she’d run off to Chicago, but that se
emed less likely every day.
“Not saying that I harbor any delusions about Nick and you, but he’s a nice guy. Every girl needs a good guy in her life, even if he’s just a friend.”
I thought about Nick’s temper earlier and trying to kiss me, wondering if Dad would like him so much if I told him. I wouldn’t do that to Nick though. His dad walked out on them when he was eight and he practically glowed when my dad spent time with him.
I glanced at the computer. “Dad, I really need to get back to this.”
“I know.” He stood. “I just wanted to let you know that I understand how hard all this is and I’m doing my damnedest to get your mom to come around.”
“Good luck.” I spun to face the computer.
Dad laughed and rested his hands on my shoulders, bending down to kiss the top of my head as he passed. “I feel like that was sarcastic, but I’ll take it. Good luck with the homework.”
Once the door clicked shut, I brought up the second website. Like the first one, it was full of happy teens, but they’d toned down the color scheme a little. I spotted a tab at the top named ‘Need To Talk’ and clicked it. After confirming that yes, I did want to leave the website, I landed in a forum.
I scrolled through some posts, looking for anything suspicious, but nothing popped out at me. I made a user name, my name and birthday, then outlined the same complaints I had in the e-mail to the other website and loaded it up. I browsed through a couple more threads before coming back to the main page to see mine had three replies.
Two were from other teens, basically saying how much they understood and how crappy it was. The third was from someone with the user name Help4You saying they knew how hard it was and that it got better. That sounded like the only one that could be our guy. I commented my thanks to everyone and asked Help4You if they were available to talk more.
I answered another psychology question, then refreshed the page. Help4You hadn’t replied, but three more teens had expressed their sympathy. I noticed a blinking rectangle at the bottom of the window and clicked on it. SarahF123 had messaged me. I replied.
SarahF123: Hey. Just wanted to say my mom flipped at first too. It DOES get better.
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