“That’s what you’re here for.” I shoved the keys in my pocket and headed around the front of the car. Nick joined me, grinning.
“I’m not sure if I deserve that much confidence, but thanks.”
Together, we hurried down the gravel covered path through the graveyard. A breeze came up carrying the crisp promise of winter. I dug my hands deep into my hoodie pocket. My hair blew into my eyes and I shook my head to get it away. Our feet crunched loudly over the gravel in the silent cemetery. Soon we were out of sight of the car and I began nervously looking around, sure that someone was watching us.
“You come up here a lot?”
I shook my head. “A couple times with Lana. Hannah and I came here once last summer, but not this part of the cemetery. I took her up to the walking paths.”
Nick nodded. “Remember when we were kids and we were going to go up there that one night?”
I smiled, relieved to have something else to think about besides my fear. “We’re lucky we didn’t get lost or fall down the hill.”
“My brother came close.” Nick laughed and shook his head. “How the hell did we get away with that shit?”
I shrugged. “Well, that was the summer your mom was taking classes, remember? My parents didn’t know she wasn’t home almost every night. They would have killed me if they knew.”
Nick nodded, but his face was dark. That had been about a year after his dad walked out on them. It had seemed like so much fun to have no parents home, but I bet it wasn’t as fun for him.
The path narrowed as we passed into an older section of gravestones. Here the stones were weathered with moss. Every so often, we passed one fallen to the side or cracked in half. I wondered what force had broken those stones, time or something more malevolent? We rounded a turn past a stone taller than me with a cross at the top and the pagoda came into view just down the slope. We angled off the path toward it.
“I never even knew this was here,” Nick said as we drew closer.
“I didn’t until Lana showed me.” I pushed hair behind my ears as the wind picked up again. “I guess some rich guy like a hundred years ago had it built.”
“What a strange thing to have here.” Nick stopped and stared at the pagoda.
It was strange, situated to overlook town. Its sloping, tiled roof was supported by six thick pieces of wood and a stone patio extended past the shelter of the roof. A low stone wall surrounded the whole thing. Even though it was probably near a hundred years old, it was well maintained.
Nick glanced at me and we headed for the three stone steps that led up to it. I missed the warmth of the sun as soon as we stepped under the roof. Unlike yesterday under the bridge, it took no searching to find the journal entry. It was secured under a rock at the center of the stone floor. Nick and I exchanged a look. I bent to retrieve it.
I walked out from the shade of the roof, settling in the sunlight on the low wall to read the latest entry. If that creep was watching, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of watching me run back to my car and lock the doors. Nick sat beside me and together we read the slip of paper.
July
My parents wouldn’t pay the ransom and he took my pinky to send to them. I thought it would hurt more. I think maybe I went into shock or something. He used a sharp knife and took off my finger with one fast hack. For a moment, I felt nothing but dizziness and then I blacked out. Now my finger is bandaged and the pain is numbed by the pills he gives me.
I was surprised when he told me he was going to ask for ransom. I’d resolved myself to the idea that he was planning to keep me as his own until he got tired of me. Then I figured he would just kill me. For a moment, I hoped my freedom might be bought. I should have known my parents wouldn’t care enough to pay.
I never thought I would be this girl, but I’ve been broken. When he comes into my room now, he doesn’t bother to threaten me because he knows I will do as he says. When he tells me to strip and lie on the bed, I do as he says. He’s rough when he has sex with me, but I’ve become used to that as well. At first, I would cry when he was done, but it’s been a while since I did that. Now, even writing about it, I feel nothing. It’s like this is all happening to someone else and I’m only watching it all, wondering how it will end.
“Bastard.” I wiped at the tears that sprung unbidden to my eyes. I wondered if I could ever be as strong as Lana sounded in her journal entries. If I was her, would I be able to keep calm enough to even think of writing down what was happening to me? I doubted it. “I’m going to nail his balls to the wall if I find him.”
I hadn’t felt Nick put his arm around me, but his hand squeezed my shoulder as he finished reading. His grip tightened on me and I had to squirm until his hand fell away.
“Sorry.” He didn’t look at me, only clasped his hands between his knees. His eyebrows knit together as he stared back at the graveyard. “How many more entries do you think she was able to write before he killed her?”
“I don’t know.” I stared into the woods. For the briefest moment, I thought I saw Lana as I looked away, but it was just a trick of shadows and memory. I folded the note and slipped it into my pocket. “Let’s get out of here.”
We stood and I looked once more to the woods where I had imagined seeing Lana.
I will find him, I promised her ghost. I will find him and I won’t let him hurt Hannah like he hurt you. I’m better than that now.
Together, Nick and I walked silently back to my car. When the wind picked up again, Nick wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I didn’t have the energy or desire to push him away. I was drained and his arm was a small comfort I didn’t want to turn away, no matter what ideas it might give him.
Neither of us broke the silence until we left the cemetery. I let out a breath of relief as we passed another car. It was good to be back in the real world.
“What now?” Nick asked as we sat at the light at the bottom of the hill.
I shook my head, fingers playing with my bottom lip as I thought things over. When the light turned green, I made a left instead of going straight. “Let’s stop by the florist.”
I glanced at Nick just in time to see him frown, nose wrinkling as he gave a small shake of his head.
“Why?” Nick looked out the window. “What do you think they can tell you?”
“Not sure.” My attention was back on the road, eyeing a parking spot up ahead. “Maybe the asshole actually came into the store.” I pulled into the parking spot and turned to see Nick smirking at me. “What?”
“Just you getting all badass about this. It makes me smile.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on. Let’s go see what we can find out.” I didn’t want to give Nick the chance to tell me how cute I was when I was angry.
After waiting for a break in traffic, we jogged across the street without waiting for the light. The florist sat between a dive bar and a jewelry shop on the three block stretch that made up Main Street. A bell jingled above the door as we stepped inside and a middle aged woman looked up from the paperback she was reading. She pulled off her glasses and smiled.
“Hello there, how can I help you?”
“Hi.” I leaned against the tall counter. “I was wondering if you could tell me who placed an order for the flowers that were delivered to me this morning.”
Her eyebrows rose, seeming to pull her lips with them as she smiled. “A secret admirer?” Her gaze drifted to Nick. “Not a fan of someone sending flowers to your girlfriend?”
“He isn’t my boyfriend,” I said, maybe a little too quickly judging by the dark look that drifted over Nick’s face. “Can you tell me who placed the order?”
“I can try. What’s your name?”
“Alissa Reeves.”
The woman stood, slipping through the crowded area behind the counter with familiar ease. If she had been a larger woman, she wouldn’t have fit. She grabbed a notebook, flipping through until she found a scrawled order. “Oriental and calla lilies, right?”<
br />
“Yes.”
“Let me see if I can find your order number in the system. It was just Kyle in here this morning and he isn’t always the best at entering orders.” She clicked away on the keyboard a moment before frowning.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m sorry. It doesn’t look like he entered the information yet. You’ll have to talk to him.”
Of course the guy didn’t enter the information. “When is he working again?”
“Oh, he’s working now. Just out on a delivery. He should be back anytime.” She glanced toward the door. “Well, it’s your lucky day. Here he comes now.”
Nick and I both turned to see the guy who had delivered the flowers that morning heading for the shop. He stopped just inside the door, seeing us watching him.
“What’s up?” He stepped far enough into the shop to let the door close. He had straw-thin brown hair and a sprinkle of acne across his forehead. He couldn’t have been more than a couple years older than us.
“You delivered flowers to me this morning,” I said.
“Yeah, you were the weirdo who wouldn’t come out for them.” Kyle hefted a messenger bag higher up on his shoulder. “Was there a problem with them?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I was just wondering who sent them.”
“You didn’t input the order into the computer yet,” the woman said in a tone that made it clear she was biting back the “again.”
“Crap, Darlene, you know I’m not good at remembering that stuff. I just want to make the arrangements.”
Kyle pulled his bag off as he passed us and slipped behind the counter. He didn’t strike me as someone with a deep love of floral arrangements, but who was I to judge? He set his bag on an empty stool and began digging through it until he pulled out a slip of paper.
“Jonathan Doughly. He called it in.” He slid the paper across the counter to me. I raised an eyebrow and took it. Even Darlene understood how useless the name was.
“You took an order from a John Doe?” She tsked. “Boy, if you last a year here I will be surprised.”
Kyle’s eyes widened. “It’s not John Doe.”
“Jonathan Doughly?” I repeated slowly. “Johnathan, John, Doughly, Doe. Have you ever heard Doughly as a last name?”
“I guess not,” Kyle said.
“I’m sorry we can’t be more help,” Darlene said. “Looks like your admirer plans to stay anonymous.”
I looked at Nick, hoping he would have a suggestion, he shrugged. “Credit card number?”
Darlene raised an eyebrow at him. “I know you don’t really think I’m giving out that information.”
I sighed. “Thanks, anyway.” I left the slip of paper with the name and order information on the counter. “Crap,” I muttered as we stepped back outside. “I really thought we might be able to find something there.”
“I get the feeling this guy is smarter than that.” Nick looked both ways before stepping into the street. “What’s plan B?”
I opened the driver’s side door. “Get home before Mom realizes I was gone and wait for the next letter.” I slid into the driver’s seat and slammed the door harder than I needed to.
“Want me to come hang with you?”
“Not really,” I said without thinking. When I realized what I had said I turned to Nick. He scowled out the window. “Sorry. I just meant that Mom thinks I was sick today. I don’t want her getting it in her head that I skipped school to hang out with you.”
“God forbid.”
“You know what I mean.”
Nick nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
Chapter Thirty-two
One Month Ago
“I think I’m having a panic attack.” I leaned against the hood of Hannah’s car and took a deep breath. “My heart is going way too fast. I feel like I’m going to pass out.”
“You’re okay.” Hannah rubbed her hands up and down my bare arms, standing right in front of me. “It’s just school. One last year of dealing with a few dumbasses, then we’re out in the real world.”
“Sure, because no one in the real world thinks anything is wrong with us being together.” I laughed nervously. “It’s not like laws are passed all the time letting people treat us bad.”
Hannah squeezed my hands. “Most people are good.”
I shook my head. “So you keep saying.”
“This year is going to be awesome. Madison and everyone else will get over it. Something else will happen and we’ll be old news.”
“I hope you’re right.” I pushed away from the car, trying to shake off my nerves. I hadn’t realized just how much I was dreading school until I woke up that morning. Thankfully, we’d already planned to ride together because I wasn’t sure I was capable of driving.
When Hannah took a step toward school and reached for my hand, I smiled and reached for her. She’d had her hair straightened and I missed her curls, but there was no denying how good she looked in capri jeans, low top Converse, and a black and white striped shirt that hung off one shoulder. Our hands clasped together felt like armor against the world. We crossed the parking lot, my confidence growing with each step. No one said anything and those who glanced our way grinned. I began to believe Hannah might be right.
I was wrong.
We’d barely made it through the front doors before running into my old friends. I should have known better. I knew exactly where they liked to congregate and it wouldn’t have been hard to avoid them. Madison and Genny leaned close together talking, but Tommy saw us and let out a low wolf whistle.
“Check out the rug munchers,” he called. His friends laughed, sounding like hyenas.
“You’re so gross.” Madison pushed the side of his face, turning him from watching us.
“What?” Tommy asked, swatting away her hand and peering at us. “You’re not my boss anymore and they’re totally hot.”
“They’re gross,” Madison said. She looked at Genny. “Isn’t it gross?”
“Totally,” Genny said. “They shouldn’t even let you do that in school, because it’s going to make me hurl.” She motioned toward our linked hands.
I felt my face starting to burn and I tried to tug my hand free from Hannah’s. She wouldn’t let me. Instead, she held on tighter and pulled me close. Her lips found mine and the feel of her smiling through the kiss melted my nerves. I heard Tommy and the other guys whooping as Hannah’s tongue probed my lips. I pulled back, laughing.
“Gross enough for you?” Hannah asked, eyebrow raised. “Or would you like to see me do it again?”
“I’m so reporting you both to the principal.” Madison pushed away from the lockers. “Making us watch that is like sexual harassment or something.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Please. If that’s sexual harassment then some of what you and Tommy did in the halls last year must have been sexual assault.” She flashed them one last grin and pulled me laughing around the corner.
“Oh, my God.” I shook my head. “That was amazing. You’re amazing.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.” She squeezed my hand. “I already told you, this year’s going to be great. Madison and everyone else aren’t worth worrying about.”
“That was pretty awesome.”
I turned to see Nick smiling at us, hands in his pockets. “You really shut her up for once.” He nodded to me. “Hey, Alissa.”
“Hey, Nick.” I smiled tentatively. “Long time no talk.”
He grinned. “I’ve been around.”
“Are you going to introduce me to your friend?” Hannah asked and I realized she hadn’t met Nick. It had been years since we’d so much as nodded to each other in the hall.
“Oh, sorry. Hannah this is Nick. We used to be friends when we were little.”
“Best friends for a while,” Nick said.
I nodded. “And this is Hannah.” I motioned to her. “My girlfriend.” I held my breath, wondering what he would say.
Nick nodded. “I h
eard.” He turned and motioned over his shoulder. “I need to get going to homeroom, but let’s catch up, okay?”
“Sounds good.” And I meant it. In that moment I couldn’t remember why I had ever let Madison or Genny convince me to hurt Nick. He was a good guy who deserved better. Right then, I knew we’d graduate best friends again.
Chapter Thirty-three
I sat in my room, journal entries spread out on the desk in front of me, reading over what I knew about Lana’s life after she disappeared. There were definite gaps, but it was clear that someone lured her to the motel and took her from there. I figured she probably went willingly enough because she thought this guy was going to take her someplace where she didn’t have to worry about being sent away to a brainwashing camp.
Where had he taken her next? They’d found her body at the mill, but was that where she had been kept the whole time? It wasn’t that much off the known hiking trails in the woods, so I kind of doubted it. I wished I could talk to Jake and get him to find me more information about her case. From how her mom described the scene when they found her body at the mill, it seemed she had been killed there.
And then there was Hannah. How had he gotten to her? Had she been on the same message boards? I wouldn’t have thought she was the sort of person to use those boards, but I also knew less about her college plans than my mom. There was no reason she would have told me she was visiting a support forum. So maybe he found her there? He certainly wasted no time replying to my message.
I rubbed my temples. I wasn’t a friggin’ detective. I had no idea how to go about figuring any of this out. Frustrated, I folded Lana’s journal entries in half and slipped them into the desk drawer. I flopped down on my bed, opening the photo album on my phone and scrolling through until I found pictures of Hannah and me.
She looked so vibrant and alive, nothing like she had looked in the video. Was I wrong not to go to the police? I didn’t think so. She would be dead if I did. Besides, I had no guarantee that anyone there would even take me seriously. Seeing her pictures reaffirmed my commitment to finding her. She was a better person than I would ever be and I wasn’t going to let her pay for my mistakes. I closed out of the album and dialed Hannah’s home number, steeling myself for the conversation with her parents.
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