by J. L. Perry
“Okay,” he whispers and he looks down at the photo once more. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly. He carefully places it back inside the folders and zips it up. After picking it up he uses the back of his other hand to wipe his eyes. My heart is hurting for him.
****
Mason
I lock up the house and put the key in my pocket. I’m not sure if I’ll come back here but I’ll need it if I hire an investigator like Red suggested.
Seeing that photo of my mother just now almost broke me. It’s been over ten years since I’ve seen her beautiful face. For years I’ve tried to hold onto the memories of her face, her features, but over time they’ve faded. It killed me to know I couldn’t remember exactly how she used to look. Now I have this. If nothing else comes from this search, I’m grateful that I at least have a photo to remember her by.
We head back to the apartment building to drop off my bike. We’re going to take Jacinta’s car to pick up Blake from school. This will be the first time we’ve gone together to pick him up.
****
After picking up Blake from school yesterday, we didn’t talk about anything that happened. Jacinta asked me a few times throughout the afternoon and night if I was doing okay. I’m not sure how I’m doing to tell you the truth. She’s called me a number of times today at work also. I can tell she’s worried.
When I get home tonight I’m going to go through the rest of that folder and see what I can find. Maybe I’ll talk to Connor and see what he thinks I should do next.
As I’m leaving work I send Red a quick text to let her know I’m on my way home. She picked Blake up for me again today. She said on the days she’s not working at the clinic she’ll do that. The other days he’ll come and hang with me at work.
****
Every night since we have gotten back together she’s stayed over. I love going to bed and waking up beside her every morning. Blake loves having her with us too. I want to ask her to move in with us, but I’m not sure if it will freak her out or not.
When I walk through the door the first thing I smell is Red’s cooking. I love having her here. It’s like coming home to my family. One day I hope that’s exactly what the three of us will be. A family.
“Look,” Blake squeals as he drags me towards the lounge room. “Jazzi put a photo of my Grandma Sophia in a frame and I helped her hang it up.” Fuck, I almost choke on my tongue. I haven’t even told him about my mum yet. I wasn’t sure what to say. He’s so young and I’m not sure he’ll understand.
“Sorry,” Jacinta says as she walks out from the kitchen. “I hope you don’t mind. I saw it sitting by the bed this morning and thought you might like it framed.” I pull her into my arms as tears rise to my eyes.
“I love it. Thank you.”
“Jazzi said Grandma Sophia lives in heaven with the Angels dad. Can I go and visit her there?”
I’m so overwhelmed right now. I love that my boy keeps referring to my mum as Grandma Sophia. My mum would have loved that if she was still around. She would have loved him.
“One day you’ll get to meet her in heaven buddy, not for a long, long time though.”
“I have two Grandma’s now. Grandma Grace and Grandma Sophia.”
I ruffle his hair and pull Red into my arms. “Thank you,” I whisper as I kiss the top of her head.
One day, when I’m not so emotional I’ll sit down and tell my boy all about his Grandma Sophia.
****
It’s the middle of the night. I got out of bed when Jacinta fell asleep, to go through the folder. When I opened it the other day in front of her I nearly broke down. It took all my strength not to. That’s the last thing I wanted. I thought it safer if I did it on my own this time.
It didn’t reveal much. Not like I was hoping. Inside were a few more pictures, my mum’s birth certificate, driver’s licence and her wedding band. To me that said a lot. If she left, like my father claims she did, most of those things would have gone with her. The only odd thing I found was a receipt for a slab of concrete and the erection of a shed. It was puzzling? Why would this be in the folder amongst her personal things?
I removed all the pictures and placed everything back in the folder before climbing back into bed, pulling Jacinta back into my arms. I’m going to give the folder to Connor along with the key to the house. He said he’ll get one of his detective buddies to go over it.
****
Jacinta
With everything that’s gone on with Mason over the past few days, I’m more determined to go to the prison and seek the answers I need from my father. Sure, I’m crapping myself just thinking about it, but it’s something I feel I need to do. I even made a few calls today and found out what prison he was being held at.
I just got off the phone with said prison a few minutes ago. I needed to know when visiting hours were and how I go about it. I’ve never known anyone in prison before so I have no idea how it all works.
Thankfully, you can do weekend visits. There’s no way I could do it on my own. I need Mason by my side. I just hope he doesn’t freak and try to stop me from going when I tell him.
I plan on telling Mason tonight once Blake is in bed. I’m not sure what I’m going to do if he tries to stop me. I’m doing this one way or another. If he won’t come with me I’ll just have to find someone who will.
****
Later that night when we’re lying in bed I bring it up. “I’m thinking of going to the prison this weekend to see my father.”
“Fucking what?” Yep he’s not happy about it.
“Mason I need to do this. You of all people should understand. I need answers. I want to know why he did the things that he did.”
“Fuck babe. Do you really think seeing him again is a good idea? Can’t you write him a letter or something?”
“No, I can’t. I need to do this face to face. If you won’t come with me I’ll find someone who will.”
“Look, I’m not happy about this. But if it’s something you think you need to do, then you can bet your fucking life that I’m going to be right by your side. There’s no way I’d let you do this without me. I want to be there for you just like you were for me. We’re a team now. You and me.” He winks at me and I smile. We’re facing each other while we talk, so I push him onto his back and straddle him.
“I fucking love you Mason Bradley,” I say as I bring my lips down to his.
“Oh fuck babe,” he says against my mouth. “Hearing my name and the word fuck coming out of that sweet mouth of yours in the same sentence…” He flips me over onto my back. While hovering over me he says, “Say it again.” I know exactly what to say.
“Fuck me hard and fast Mason, until I’m screaming your name.”
“Sweet fucking Jesus woman,” he growls as he crashes his lips against mine.
****
The weekend rolls around quick. I’m feeling sick to my stomach when I get out of bed. So much so I even vomit. I’m grateful Mason’s not around when I do. If he knows I’m this worked up about going he may try to put a stop to it.
From the day Brooke and Logan saved us from that monster, seeing him again has been my worst nightmare. So to think I’m the one instigating this is pretty friggin’ crazy. It may just be the stupidest idea I’ve ever had, but on the other hand it might be what I need to finally move past this. To finally be the person I always wanted to be. Was meant to be.
****
The closer we get to the prison the sicker I feel. I already had to get Mason to stop once so I could be sick. He wasn’t too happy about it either. He said he was tempted to turn around and take me back home. After pleading with him we continued on. I couldn’t even eat breakfast this morning. My stomach was in knots.
Once we pull into the car park my body starts to tremble. Just knowing he’s behind those walls and within minutes I’ll come face to face with him sends me into a panic.
“Fucking hell Red,” Mason says as he pulls me off the bike and into hi
s arms. “Are you really sure you’re ready for this? It’s not too late to turn back around.”
“I’ve come this far. I need to see it through.”
“I’m proud of you babe,” he says as he kisses the top of my head. “Anytime you feel like leaving just say the word and we’re gone.”
“Thank you for coming with me. I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it without you.”
“I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.”
“I love you,” I whisper.
“Love you too, babe.”
He grabs hold of my hand as we walk to the entrance. “You are safe with me babe. I won’t let anything happen to you.” I smile at him. He does make me feel safe. Just having him here makes all the difference.
After going through the security check point we are ushered down a long corridor and into a room. There are tables and chairs set up throughout. Guards standing in every corner. Having them and Mason by my side ease my nerves somewhat.
I feel like I’m going to be sick again when we take a seat. I try my best to hold it in. My legs are bouncing up and down nervously as we wait for the guard to bring him out. When I see him my heart skips a beat. He looks different. Nothing like I expected. He’s almost unrecognisable. If it wasn’t for the sight of those evil eyes staring back, the ones that haunt me day and night, I’d doubt that it was even him.
He’s aged so much. He’s so thin, nothing like the huge strong man that used to petrify me. When I was a little girl, there were times the mere sight of him would cause me to wet my pants.
What surprises me most is he’s in a wheelchair. Wow. Not what I expected. Once he reaches the table a small smile graces his face. Not the sadistic evil ones I am used to either. He actually looks like he’s happy to see me.
I have to look away. It’s instinctual. When I was little I didn’t dare make eye contact with him. I was too scared to.
He finally breaks the awkward silence that has fallen over us. “You’re all grown up. You look like your mother did when we first met.” Just the mention of my mother has me all riled up.
“Before you started beating the shit out of her.” Fuck. Where did that come from? Once upon a time I never would’ve had the guts to talk to him like that. I’m kind of expecting him to backhand me but instead he puts his head down. Like he’s ashamed. I doubt that though.
****
Mason
He’s nothing like I expected. I could easily reach forward and snap him in half. It almost wants to make me laugh. There’s nothing funny about what he did though. Pathetic piece of shit.
Jacinta sits up straight in her chair squaring her shoulders. She’s putting on a brave front. Trying to show him that he can no longer intimidate her. I’m so fucking proud of her. The thing is I know better, because when I reach under the table and clutch her hand in mine, it’s trembling. Breaks my fucking heart, it does. Makes me want to dive across this table and beat the fuck out of him for everything he put her through as a child.
“Why?” I hear her say. He raises his head to look at her. He has tears in his eyes. Fuck that. He reaches his hand out. Jacinta flinches beside me. It gets my back up. Sorry buddy not fucking happening. You put your hands on my girl for the last time seven years ago. My hand flies out and captures his puny wrist. Fuck I feel like snapping it.
“Hands off,” I say through gritted teeth. “You lost the right to touch her years ago.” His eyes leave hers and meet mine. Yeah I dare you to say something to me, fucker. Of course he doesn’t.
I let go of him and his eyes go back to her. “I grew up like that. My father beat us all the time. I didn’t know any better.”
“I’m sorry you had to grow up like that.” What? She’s a better person than me. I don’t feel sorry for him one fucking bit. “If anything,” she continues, “that just makes what you did to us so much worse. You knew what it felt like and you still did it.”
His head goes down again and he exhales. “I know. All I can say is I’m sorry.” Yeah right, that’s really gonna make up for everything that you did. Piece of fucking shit.
“I’m dying.”
“Fucking good,” I mumble under my breath. Jacinta’s hand goes to my knee and gives it a squeeze. Sorry babe, I’m not apologising for what I said. I fucking meant it. I’m glad the fuckers dying. I hope it’s a long suffering death too.
“What do you mean, you’re dying?” she asks.
“I have stage four bowel cancer. I’ll be lucky to make it out of this hell hole alive.”
“I see,” she whispers.
“How’s your mum?”
“None of your fucking business,” I say before she gets a chance to answer.
“Mason,” she whispers as she looks over at me. Her eyes are narrowed. The corners of my mouth lift up as I smirk.
“She’s happy. No thanks to you,” she says turning her attention back to her father. “Her life is wonderful now.” I see anger flash through his eyes. Good. Grace is a beautiful person. That’s what you get when you don’t look after what’s yours.
“Can you tell her I’m sorry? I’m afraid I’ll never get the chance to tell her.”
“You fucking bet you won’t,” I snap maybe a little too loudly. The guard approaches our table. Jacinta squeezes my leg again. It only makes me smile. She’s too fucking nice. This prick deserves to be spoken to like scum because that’s what he is.
“Is there a problem here?” he asks.
“No,” is all I say.
“Keep it down then.” I nod.
“Is there a bathroom here?” Jacinta’s asks him.
“Sure, follow me,” he says.
“Are you okay, babe?” I ask reaching for her hand. She gives it a little squeeze and smiles.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” She’s pale again. Like she was when we stopped off on the way here. I hope she’s not going to be sick again. I think when she gets back it’s time to leave. She’s got the answers she came for. Pathetic ones at that, but answers nevertheless.
“So,” I say as soon as Jacinta’s left the room. “If you make it out of here alive, which I pray you fucking don’t. If you try to contact or go near Jacinta or Grace, I’ll be on you so fast you won’t know what fucking hit you. Got it!”
I see anger flash through his eyes again, but then he lowers his head. Yeah, just what I thought you fucking coward. Not so tough now are you?
When Jacinta comes back I stand. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes,” she says. She looks down at her father. “Good luck with your treatment.” Fuck me. She’s a fucking saint. How can she even say that after the way she was treated?
“Thank you. I’m glad I got to see you again,” he replies. She nods at him and turns, walking towards the door. I’m so fucking proud of her.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-TWO
Jacinta
My head is spinning all the way home. I’m not sure how I feel about what just happened. I’m not really satisfied with the answers I got, but at least I got something I suppose.
We arrive back at the apartment building around lunch time. Blake stayed with Connor and Cass this morning. I didn’t tell Connor where we were going, just in case he tried to stop me. I plan on telling him though. Not much he can do about it, it’s done.
The five of us end up going out to lunch. I decide to wait until tonight to tell Connor. I don’t want him making a scene in front of Blake. He’s going to be pissed, I know it.
****
Wednesday comes around pretty quick. I’m back at the clinic today. I love working here. I’m feeling pretty crappy today. I was sick again this morning. I have been for the past few days. Initially I thought it was just nerves about going to visit my father. Now I’m not so sure. That was five days ago. It should have stopped by now.
I finally broke the news to Connor. He flipped his lid. He was furious not only that I went but that I kept it from him. He didn’t talk to Mason or I for two whole days. He even ran
g up our parents and dobbed me in. Arsehole. I got the same reaction from my mum when she called and blasted me.
All is forgiven now. They’re both talking to me again. They made me promise that I’d never go back there again. No worries there. I have no intentions to.
We’re still no closer to finding out what happened to Mason’s mum. Connor has a team of people going over the house now. They’ve been there for the past two days. Mason refuses to go back there. I don’t blame him.
I manage to get some lunch into me later that day. I brought my breakfast up and everything else that was in my stomach before coming to work today.
An hour after eating my lunch I’m pleased I managed to keep it down. That is until I get that call. The one I’ve been dreading all week.
I pick up my phone when it rings. I notice Connor’s name on the screen. My heart starts to race. I don’t know why. He calls me all the time and this never happens.
“Jaz, you better get over here.” I don’t know where here is but I have a fair idea.
“What? Why?”
“We found her.”
“What do you mean you found her? Found who?”
“Mason’s mum, Sophia.”
“What? Where?”
“We found her remains Jaz. She was buried in the backyard.” Holy fuck! My hand goes to my mouth as tears fill my eyes. “Oh my God, Connor. Does Mason know?”
“Yeah, he’s on his way here now. He was pretty cut up on the phone. He’s gonna need you, sis.”
“I’m on my way.” A sob escapes me as soon as I end the call. Poor Mason. I need to go to him. Shit, I think I’m going to be sick again. I reach for the bin under my desk as I bring up my lunch.
****
Mason
I’ve kind of been expecting a call but when it came I definitely wasn’t prepared for it. I’m shattered, relieved and fucking furious all at the same time. Connor has a police car on its way over to my work to pick me up. He said he doesn’t want me to ride my bike under these circumstances. Honestly, I don’t think I could anyway. When I got the call from him just now my knees buckled underneath me. I almost fucking collapsed.