by Gy
Szabi let out a piercing cry and reached both hands toward one of his ankles, and he was lying there on his side beside the concrete pipe, and he kept on holding his foot, and he was screaming my name really loud, he was wailing and crying, and then I called down to him to wait because I'd climb down right away, and he looked up, his face was wet with tears, and he told me to go fuck my mother, that I was a chickenshit for letting him jump alone. But then I told him to shut his trap because I'd seen full well that he had wanted to clear the ditch and didn't want to jump in at all, and if I didn't have more brains than him there wouldn't be anyone left to go get an ambulance, but Szabi only kept swearing and saying over and over that his foot hurt like hell, and I called down to him again, saying he had it coming for wanting to play me for a sucker and telling him to wait right where he was because I'd go get an ambulance even though he didn't really deserve it. I started running back toward the apartment blocks, and meanwhile I already knew what I would say the next day in school, that the reason we didn't have the money was that I had to give half of it to the ambulance guys so they would take poor Szabi to the hospital and the other half to the doctors so they wouldn't set his fracture without anesthetics.
3. End of the World
COACH GICA tended to us goalies specially, he made us show up at every practice an hour early and mainly had us do speed drills, plus we had to jump a lot and dive, jump and dive, jump and dive, and he had this goalie-terrorizing machine, he came up with it himself and the workers at the ironworks made it for him, a soccer ball was put on the end of this long iron pipe, the ball was filled with sand, and that's what he shot at us, the whole contraption was built onto an axle and revolved around it, throwing that sand-packed ball with no mercy, and Janika and I knew that if we didn't catch it, it would hit us in the head and break our bones. Other kids had already died in Coach Gica's hands, so they said, which is why he became a coach for the junior team, the adult players couldn't stand his heavy-handedness, one time they caught him and knocked half his brains out, and since then he wasn't allowed to coach the Ironworks' adult team but could work only with us eleven- and twelve-year-olds.
That May we were close to being dropped from the league, so Coach Gica held practice every day, he got us passes so we didn't even have to go to school for the first four hours of the day, everyone knew that Red Hammer, the ironworks team, had to stay in the running, no way could we be dropped. Coach Gica even told us that if we didn't beat Breakthrough, the military team, then that's it, it's over, after the game he'd smash everyone's ankles with a crowbar, for him it would be all the same because coaching was his life, and if we fell from the running, that would be it, and from then on each and every one of us would be going to school on crutches, he even showed us the crowbar, and he took a swipe with it at one of the planks in the fence, the crowbar tore right into the wood and he said our bones would break apart just like that, in splinters, not a soul would be able to put them together again. We knew he wasn't kidding because by then he didn't have a family, he lived in the junior team's clubhouse, yes, we knew he was dead serious, and so we really did go all out getting ready for that game, everyone went running, no one dared skip practice, everyone was scared stiff about what Coach Gica would do to their legs. I went running too, as much as I could take, even though I knew I didn't stand a chance of playing anyway because I was just a backup goalie, Janika was the real goalie even though he was a Jehovah's Witness, a Jehovist, the truth is he shouldn't have been playing on the Ironworks' team at all because his father didn't let him be a Young Pioneer, but he was so good at keeping goal that Coach Gica paid a visit to the school and worked things out with the top comrade there, the principal, so Janika would be able to play all the same, and sure enough he kept goal in nearly every game because he had a much better feel for the ball than I did, even when he wasn't in top form. So we practiced really hard, seeing how we were afraid of Coach Gica, but we knew it didn't matter anyway, there was no beating Breakthrough, they had the backing of the army, their team was full of army brats, the armed forces gave them everything and gave the referees everything too, Breakthrough was unbeaten in the playoffs, and so we knew we didn't stand a chance, and we were scared stiff.
Even on the day of the game Coach Gica held a separate practice for us goalies, and as the two of us walked along toward the sports complex so early that morning, Janika, who was even more scared than I was, stopped all of a sudden while we were still outside in front of the complex, pressed a hand to his belly, then he started retching and puked, if I hadn't got a hold of him he might have fainted, and he said that only now, on seeing the entrance to the Ironworks sports complex, did he remember that he dreamed last night about Coach Gica, about Coach Gica smashing apart his ankles, and as he said this I handed Janika my canteen so he could rinse his mouth, and he said that in his dream Coach Gica took such a hard swipe at his ankle with that iron pipe that even Coach Gica was all in tears, even now he could recall the old guy's beet-red, glistening face, and Janika said he didn't care one bit, he was going home, he wasn't coming to the practice because he couldn't take it anymore, and that I should go along too, I shouldn't stay here all by myself, he didn't even care if the team was left without a goalie. "Soccer is only a game," he said, "it's not worth this much." He wiped his mouth, gave me back my canteen, and he said, "Let's go, let's get out of here before Coach Gica sees us."
"Okay," I said, "let's go," and right then I remembered that I had woken up last night too, I had heard a big, thundering bang, that's what woke me up, but then I just lay there all quiet, and for a long time I couldn't get back to sleep, so I now said to Janika, "All right, let's go," but then, right when I was thinking about my dream, we heard this rumbling sound, but it wasn't at all like in my dream, it was much quieter, and I knew exactly what it was, it was nothing but two trucks approaching the sports complex really fast. From a distance you could tell they were painted green, their canopies were camouflage patterned, we just stood there watching them come toward us, and then the drivers hit the brakes and stopped right in front of us, a soldier got out and came over and asked what we were up to here, and Janika was so scared he couldn't get a word out, so I explained, "We've come for practice, we're certified players for Red Hammer's junior team, Janika is the goalie and I'm the backup," but the soldier didn't even pay us any attention. "All right then," he said, "but what are you standing around here for, get going," and so we went into the locker room, but before we did we could see the soldiers unpacking all sorts of big instruments and devices from their trucks.
Coach Gica was there already, slicing and chewing away at his morning slab of roast bacon, he didn't say a thing but only showed us his watch and three fingers, and we knew this meant we were three minutes late and that we'd have to run fifteen extra laps at the end of practice, but I said, "We couldn't help it, we were late on account of the soldiers," and then Coach Gica asked, "On account of what soldiers?" and he told me not to lie or he'd slap me around so good I'd slide on my snot to the goalpost. But I said I wasn't lying, he'd see for himself if he didn't believe the soldiers were here, they must've come to observe the practice so they'd know what to count on, to see how ready we were to take on Breakthrough. Coach Gica then put away his knife and wrapped up the remaining bacon, and he stood up and said, "All right, get dressed," and he told us not to waste any more time or else he'd knock our brains out, then he went out and slammed the locker room door behind him.
We dressed in silence, not daring to say a word, scared that Coach Gica was listening in, he liked to know what was said about him behind his back. Janika was white as a ghost when we finally went out, and Coach Gica was there waiting for us by the edge of the field, he was talking with one of the officers, and as soon as he saw us he gave a wave of his hand. The pylons were already set up, and the two pairs of leaded shin-guards were out there too, they were made of leather but could be filled with lead tubes to make them heavier, Coach Gica had had these made too. Anyway, we go
t them on and then we began running the obstacle course, and after a while Coach Gica left the officer, came over, and began making us jump up and down. At one point Coach Gica hit Janika on the leg with his stick because Janika wasn't fast enough, and Janika fell and hit himself and his nose started bleeding, but Coach Gica didn't let him stop, he had to keep jumping up and down.
Meanwhile the soldiers were there the whole time, the officer was just looking at his men as they walked around the field in strange-looking clothes, pushing around machines full of wires and tubes, their hands also held all sorts of devices with wires and antennas. Just what they were doing was beyond me, maybe they wanted to broadcast the game on the radio, I'd never heard of such a thing, the machines were buzzing and rattling really loud, but we couldn't really pay attention, no, we had to keep running and jumping and diving.
The drills with the ball were the hardest, you had to dive for the ball blindfolded to get a feel for the direction, at one point I fell on the goalpost and Coach Gica kicked the ball right into my gut and I started heaving. Since Janika was always jumping in the wrong direction, I won the diving contest, by then Janika was pure white, he knew what this meant, it meant that today I would be the first one to give a kickoff, because Coach Gica had us practice kickoffs by setting up eleven balls in a row, one of the goalies had to stand ten feet away while the other goalie ran up to each ball and tried to kick it onto the other's head, and you weren't allowed to jump clear of the ball, no, you had to catch it, clutch it, or deflect it, and if we didn't kick it hard enough then Coach Gica took our place kicking off. So you really had to kick, and the one to kick first was better off because by the time the other goalie had his turn he was so beat that he couldn't really kick hard. The fourth ball I kicked sent Janika's nose bleeding again, I didn't want to kick the ball hard but there wasn't any choice, I had to run up to the ball from four steps away, and the balls always let out this huge snap, and by the end of my turn Janika didn't even reach out his hands anymore, he simply jumped right out in front of the ball and fell to the ground together with the ball. The grass was all bloody in one spot, he could hardly get to his feet, it was obvious he wouldn't be able to kick, he was all worn out. Coach Gica came over to him, he was holding a towel and he handed it to Janika, and he said, "All right, wipe your face, for once we're taking a break, get yourselves into the locker room because that comrade over there, the officer, wants a word with you two in private."
Janika pressed the towel to his nose and that's how we went, the officer really was there, I could tell from his epaulet that he was a colonel, my grandfather taught me the ranks a while back, so anyway, this colonel was sitting there on the bench in the locker room, and he motioned with his hand for us to shut the door and then he told us to sit down, and he asked what grade we were in and if we were good students, and I had to answer the questions because Janika's nose was still bleeding. The officer took an apple and broke it in two, he gave one half to me and the other half to Janika, and he said, "Fine then, you're clever boys," he could see how hard and honorably we worked, we could be proud of ourselves, we'd proven through hard work that we sure had earned the Young Pioneers' red cravat. Then he asked us if we loved our country, and of course we nodded, even Janika, though Janika was a Jehovist and Jehovists can't be Young Pioneers and can't love their country, and then the colonel asked if we knew what radioactivity was, and I said, "No, we haven't yet studied physics, but in Homeland Defense drills we learned that if there's an atomic flash you're supposed to cover your face and climb under the table or under the bed, and then you have to report to the Chemical Defense Command for protective gear, and in the Homeland Defense textbook they write about radioactivity too, they write that radiation rays go through everything and cause damage to living organisms." Anyway, after I said all that the officer nodded and said he had two sons just as big as we were and that's why he was telling us what he was about to say, but if we dared talk to anyone about it we'd wind up in reform school for rumormongering, and they'd send our moms and dads to prison. "Do you understand?" he asked, and we nodded, but he said he wanted a proper answer, and then we said, "Yes, sir, Comrade Colonel, we do understand," and Janika even took the towel away from his face and he said it along with me, that's how scared he was.
And then the colonel said that last night there was an accident in an atomic power plant in the Great Soviet Union and that the wind brought the radioactivity here, and the fact of the matter was that the game shouldn't even be allowed to go ahead, but they didn't want people to panic, so it would be held after all, but he advised us goalies not to dive and to avoid contact with the ball because the ball picks up radioactivity from the grass, and anyway, we should watch out for ourselves because we were handsome, healthy little lads, and then he gave us each this white pill, saying we had to swallow it here and now. "It's just iodide," he said, "don't be scared," and only after we took the pills did I remember once seeing a movie about the Germans, about how they'd poisoned themselves with white pills like this, and maybe Comrade Colonel wanted to poison us too because he was sorry about telling us about the accident, and I could tell that Janika was thinking the same thing. But then we didn't die after all, the pill did have a bitterish taste but not like almonds, no, I knew poison was supposed to taste like almonds. Then the colonel patted me on the head and said, "All right then, everything will be okay, take care of yourselves," and he turned and wanted to leave, but then Janika called after him and asked, "Comrade Colonel, if we can't touch the ball or even dive, how are we supposed to keep goal?" And then the colonel turned back around and looked at us and he didn't say a thing, I thought he was about to yell or give us a good slap, sometimes Coach Gica turned all quiet for a second too, before coming at us, but Comrade Colonel only shook his head and said, really quiet, that he didn't know, so help him God he didn't know, and then he bowed his head and went out without a word and left us there in the locker room.
Janika had taken only two bites from his half of the apple, so I told him to give it to me if he didn't want it, and he gave it to me without a word, and I was just swallowing the last bite when the door opened and Coach Gica came in. One of the balls was in his hand, he stopped, and he asked us what Comrade Colonel had wanted with us. Janika and I looked at each other again, and then he pressed the towel to his nose and I replied, "Nothing," but Coach Gica stepped over and without a word he slapped me so hard that the apple core fell right out of my hand and I got all dizzy, I had to grab onto the coat rack to keep from falling, and then Coach Gica told me not to lie to him, he'd heard every word, besides, he knew everything about us, he knew we wanted to skip out on practice, and he'd heard full well how the colonel had lied to us, and he could tell that we believed the colonel, how could we be such idiots, we'd deserve to have our brains knocked out, to have the coach hammer out what was left of our brains. He'd have us know that the soldiers had come only because that's how they planned to guarantee we'd get creamed, they wanted to scare us so we wouldn't dare keep goal properly, what did they mean by saying avoid contact with the ball? And as Coach Gica said this he got so angry that he kicked one of the benches right up into the air, and the coat rack above the bench fell over and almost broke the window, and then Coach Gica got all quiet and shook his head and said, "Get it through your skulls that the colonel was lying, if there really had been an accident in that reactor, you wouldn't even be alive anymore, besides, the Party wouldn't let the game go on, everyone knows that the country's future is its youth, yes, that's the country's greatest treasure, there's no way the Party would expose this treasure to danger."
Janika then sat down on one of the other benches and took the towel away from his face, his mouth and his chin were smeared all over with blood, and he said, really quiet, that his father had told him the end of the world would come and that it would begin with a nuclear war, with a nuclear strike, and he knew that the colonel wasn't lying because the colonel had said "So help him God," and soldiers were atheists, they coul
d never say the word "God" aloud, and if they did, why then, even they must sense that the end of the world had come and that nothing mattered anymore.
Coach Gica went over and stood in front of Janika, he snapped the ball to the floor and caught it with both hands, and he ordered Janika to stand up, but Janika didn't move, he only shook his head, at which Coach Gica snapped the ball to the floor again and shouted, "I won't repeat it, stand up, for Jehovah's fucking sake," and then Janika stood up and threw the towel to the floor, and Coach Gica said all right, he understood if what the colonel said scared us, but we still couldn't be such cowards, and if Janika apologized he wouldn't be angry at him, the others would be here soon, they had to get ready for the game, but Janika shook his head and said that the end of the world was here and that he wouldn't apologize, at which point Coach Gica snapped the ball to the floor yet again, and he reached a hand into his pocket and said he'd wanted to give this to Janika only right before the game, that this here was a pair of real leather goalie's gloves that did service on the national team. Coach Gica said that he himself kept goal with them when he was chosen one time for that team, and then he reached out with the gloves toward Janika. "Here, put them on, these will protect you from the radiation."