by Lisa Hobman
There was a variety of accents on the boat now she really listened and she was taken aback by how many people had made this their holiday destination when she had been so reluctant to come. She was beginning to really question her opinions.
The boat sailed past a small clump of rocks jutting out of the sea and the skipper, a marine biologist, went on to explain about the seal-breeding colonies that surround the coastline. The closest Zara had ever been to a seal was the stuffed one that lay on her bed. It had been a souvenir from Margate when they had gone on a family holiday. These seals weren’t quite so clean-looking. But they had the cutest stubby faces and lay there on their sides – the skipper called it hauling out, but Zara couldn’t help giggling at the similarity to a phrase used on her dad’s favourite US cop show. The seals are hauling ass – I must remember to tell my dad. He’ll think it’s hilarious.
As they bobbed along the skipper talked to them about the conservation of the wildlife and the importance of recycling plastics – or, better still, not using plastics at all. Mid-sentence he pointed to the sky. Overhead a white-tailed eagle was hovering, its beady eyes trained on the water. It was searching for lunch and at the thought of food Zara’s own belly grumbled. The trip had been a memorable one and she had loved chatting to the other occupants of the boat about their holiday experiences. It seemed she was the only one to have such negative feelings about camping. She decided she needed to be more open-minded.
The view of the little seaside village on the way back was like something from a postcard – and probably was. She snapped a few more shots of the row of white buildings edging the harbour and vowed to frame some of them for her walls at home. If something good was to come from this trip it might as well be artwork.
Once back on dry land she thanked the skipper and waved goodbye to her fellow passengers before deciding on lunch at a seaside-themed café just by the boat-trip booking office. She was greeted by a very friendly woman with an unfamiliar accent.
‘Hi there. What can I get you today?’
‘I’ll have the seafood risotto, please. Everything sounds so delicious I was struggling to choose.’
‘Ah, well, you can thank my husband for the selection. He buys all the ingredients locally. Not a fried Mars bar in sight.’ The woman laughed.
‘Can I ask where you’re from? You have an intriguing accent.’
‘I’m from Czech Republic. Prague to be exact.’
‘Oh wow. How did you end up living in Scotland?’
‘I met my husband when he visited my country. He was on holiday and made me laugh a lot. And he was very handsome. He came back two months later so he could ask me out again. I moved to Scotland in 2012 and we get married.’ She shrugged as if it was the most natural thing ever.
‘Prague is so beautiful though. Don’t you miss it?’
‘Sometimes. But I love my husband and we have our daughter and our business so I’m busy, busy in my wonderful Scotland life.’ She laughed. ‘I’ll go get your coffee.’ She smiled widely and walked away, singing to herself.
The meal was divine and all locally sourced, which seemed to make it taste all the more delicious. Zara sat and lazily drank coffee, irrespective of her schedule, as she watched the world go by and let her food settle before setting off again.
A little bit of mobile signal served up a picture message from Shelley and Marco pouting sadly with a huge jug of cocktails and a message that said:
We miss you so much we’re drowning our sorrows but we can assure you we’re not enjoying the Margaritas one bit.
The afternoon was going to be a difficult one. Over fifty miles of cycling and sitting on Silver Dickhead lay ahead before Zara would reach her next stop at Ullapool. Perhaps she would need to find a pub with live music for the evening to cheer her up. She decided she would try to do just that but at that precise moment she needed all her focus to be on the road ahead.
*
As she was about to set off her phone rang. It was a bit of a shock to hear her Florence and the Machine ringtone as she had been making do with text messages due to poor signal. She hadn’t yet removed Josh’s number from her phone and seeing his name flash up on the screen sent her into a tailspin.
‘H-hello?’ She was hesitant and she was aware that it was clear in her tone of voice.
‘Zara? Hey, it’s me… Josh. I just wanted to check that you’re okay. You know… see how you’re getting on up north. And… to tell you that I miss you.’
She sighed heavily. ‘Josh, please, that’s not fair. You were the one who ruined things. You can’t just call me out of the blue and say things like that.’
‘I know. I know, I’m sorry. I just… I wasn’t ready to let you go. It’s crazy, I know. I just… Look, I meant everything I said about wanting you in my life. I really did want that.’
She didn’t want to acknowledge the little spark of hope that had ignited inside her because deep down she knew it was pointless. ‘Did being the operative word though. Are you still seeing Katie?’ There was a long pause, which acted as the confirmation he didn’t actually say.
‘Things are just so complicated, Zara. I’m so mixed up about everything. I just don’t know what I really want any more.’
Zara closed her eyes and willed herself not to get upset. Nothing had changed. Josh simply wanted his cake and to eat it too. Well, she wouldn’t be any part of this little game. She deserved so much more than someone who cheated with his ex the moment her back was turned.
‘Look, Josh, I think you do know what you want. And I think it’s the new life you planned with your son and your ex. And I don’t factor into that. I can’t forgive you for cheating on me when you’d assured me that nothing was going to change between us. But I’m not going to ask you to choose because the decision has been made. I’ve made it. We’re over, Josh. We were over the moment you jumped into bed with Katie. And I think you know that.’
He sighed now. ‘I just wanted to hear your voice. Things had been going so well between us when everything happened. It threw me for a loop. I just wanted to know that you’re okay. Are you really? I don’t just mean with your trip and camping and stuff. I mean… well, you know…’
She inhaled deeply to steady her breathing and prickled with annoyance. Did he think he’d made such an impact on her that she’d never recover? Conceited much?
Forcing a brightness to her voice that she simply didn’t feel internally, she said, ‘I’m absolutely fine. It’s not as if my love for you was reciprocated, was it? So I’ve had to get over you,’ she lied. ‘And I don’t need you checking on me. Okay? I’m a tough woman, not some damsel in distress. And you have your son to think about. Just go and make plans and have a wonderful happy life with him, okay?’ Her voice broke in spite of her determination to remain tough.
‘But… can I call you again? Just to make sure things are okay?’
Her resolve was firm. ‘No. You don’t need to. And to be honest I’d rather you didn’t. It won’t help either of us to move on, will it? And like I said, I’m absolutely fine.’
Another long silence ensued. ‘Okay. I understand. Just please take care. I’m so sorry about how things turned out. I genuinely mean that. If things were different… well… If you ever need anything you know where I am.’
‘Yes, in the arms of another woman is where you’ll be. I have people I can call on who won’t take me for a fool. Bye, Josh.’ Before he could speak again she hit the ‘end call’ button and stared at her phone. A growl of exasperation, anger and sadness left her throat. What had been the point in his call? Was he deliberately trying to make her miss him? And if so, why would he be so damned cruel? She didn’t take him for that type of man.
*
The rugged coastline lay out before her like something otherworldly. She remembered watching TV shows with her dad as a child, shows like Doctor Who that used remote locations to represent other planets. This could have been taken right from one of those shoots.
Onwards a
long the road that snaked its way, hugging the western coastline, dipping and rising again just as suddenly. She couldn’t appreciate the view as much on this stretch of her journey. She needed her wits about her to take notice of the bends and hills that sprang up on her with less than a moment’s notice.
Her legs burned and her heart pounded as tiredness began to set in. She found yet another lay-by and pulled in for a break. It was a location with another spectacular view. The high vantage point was such that she felt as though she were literally on top of the world. She took off her helmet and ran a hand through her knotted hair and took a long drink of water from the bottle mounted on the bike frame. Then she took out her phone and snapped several shots, making sure to note down as much detail about the location as she could for her article.
Standing a little distance away in the parking area was a man in a very sharp, well-fitted suit. He was standing by his four-wheel-drive vehicle, staring out at the landscape before them; his shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world were pressing him down. Zara wondered for a moment why anyone dressed in such inappropriate clothing would be in this remote location. As if he felt her watching him, he turned his head and met her eyes. She smiled. From what she could see at the distance he was handsome and clean-cut. More her type than Josh had been. He would look right at home in the financial districts of London but here in the Highlands he looked as out of place as she felt.
He smiled stiffly in response and nodded an acknowledgment but turned away quickly as his phone rang. ‘Yes, I’m on my way home… No, it hasn’t been great for me either but this is something I have to do… I know you don’t understand but… Look, I can’t really talk now. I don’t want to air my dirty laundry in public when someone’s listening.’ He glanced over at Zara again and she felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment. Did he really think she was listening? Okay, so she’d heard what he was saying but it wasn’t deliberate.
He hung up his call and stood there again, this time his head hung and his hands rested on his hips. He had a defeated air to his demeanour. She pretended to search her backpack in the hope he would see she wasn’t actually paying attention to him. He sighed and rubbed his hands roughly over his face, glancing sideways at her again as if he was waiting for her to leave. But she wasn’t quite ready and, anyway, it was a public highway. Did he think he owned the bloody place?
Plucking up courage from somewhere, she turned to face the handsome businessman. ‘Excuse me; I just wanted to say that I wasn’t listening in. Well, not on purpose anyway. But we’re the only two people standing here so it was a bit hard not to hear. But I wanted you to know I wasn’t intent on being nosey.’
Mr Smart Suit turned to face her and scrunched his brow. ‘Sure, whatever.’ His tone was dismissive and a little acerbic – unnecessarily so, she thought.
She wasn’t sure why it bothered her so much but for some reason it did. ‘I mean, I don’t go deliberately listening in on phone calls. Not usually. I’m a journalist so I think I’m inherently inquisitive, but I don’t make a habit of such things.’ Oh, God. I’m waffling like a loony at a total stranger in a lay-by. In a bid to make herself appear less bizarre, she continued, ‘Lovely spot, this, isn’t it?’
He gave her a befuddled look and shook his head. ‘I suppose it is.’
Regardless of his sexy-as-hell accent, his monotone response was the hint she needed. ‘Well, I suppose I should be on my way. This magazine piece isn’t going to write itself, I guess. Have a lovely day.’
The man snorted. ‘Not likely.’
Instead of leaving well alone as her gut was insisting she did, she inhaled deeply in an over-exaggerated manner and gestured out at the stunning vista of mountains, trees and water. ‘But just look at that view and that bright blue sky. I mean, I didn’t even want to be up here but, honestly, how can anyone be in a bad mood today when they look at that?’
He huffed. ‘Look, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve just returned from my second funeral in as many weeks, one relative and one dear friend, and I have a hellish time ahead of me, so I’m not really in the mood to be happy or to enjoy pretty views with total strangers I meet in lay-bys. So please excuse me if I don’t share your enthusiasm.’
His attitude stung and Zara clamped her mouth shut. She really would have to stop trying to fix things that weren’t hers to mend. ‘I’m very sorry for your loss…es… losses. Please forgive me for interfering. I’ll leave you to it.’ She clambered onto her bike and pushed off, trying not to be affected by the man’s unfriendly nature. He was the least amenable person she had encountered on the trip so far. Good thing she wasn’t likely to see him again.
As she cycled a car pulled up alongside her and she tried to stay focused on the road in spite of the fear that knotted her stomach. You hear about people being dragged into cars. Please just let them pass.
‘Excuse me!’
She glanced to the side to find handsome Mr Smart Suit shouting to her through the passenger window from his position in the driver’s seat.
‘What?’ She huffed as she pedalled faster in a bid to escape.
‘Look, I wanted to apologise. I’m not usually an arse like that. It’s been a crap few days and I shouldn’t have been so snappy.’ She didn’t reply. She just continued to pedal. ‘And you were right. That view back there… one of the best.’
She glanced at him again and he smiled but she was still rather wary so she returned her attention to the road.
‘I just wanted to say sorry,’ he called again.
‘Well, you’ve said it now. You can be on your way.’ She was aware that she was feeding him a taste of his own medicine and that it was a tad unkind considering what he’d just told her, but she was on an isolated stretch of road and was feeling uneasy.
‘Okay… well, have a good journey.’ She heard the motor of his window and he suddenly sped away.
‘Not likely. Have you seen what I’m riding?’ she shouted after the car. ‘No offence, SD, but you’re not a bloody sports car, are you?
*
By the time she reached the coastal town of Ullapool she wanted to collapse and cry, but she wasn’t sure in which order. She found a quiet spot up from the harbour and clambered off her bike. She removed her helmet and slumped onto the grass, resting her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees. She was exhausted, emotional and still sore. Angry tears cascaded down her face and she let them, unsure which was pissing her off the most: the aching, the loneliness or the fact that she was crying to begin with. Another cyclist pulled into the lay-by and she wiped at her face, desperate not to look like a wimp.
‘Hi, are you okay?’ the man asked. She guessed he was from Yorkshire by the accent. This place really is a melting pot.
She nodded. ‘Yes, thank you. I’m just tired.’
He nodded. ‘Aye, I get you. I was bloody knackered the first time I did this ride.’
‘You’ve done it before?’
‘Oh aye. And I wasn’t as fit back then either. I thought a bit of cycling round’t park’d be enough training. I was wrong.’ He laughed and his words resonated with her as she cast her mind back to her nice little rides round the common. ‘Anyroad, you’ll get used to it. Just keep going, lass. Don’t let the buggers eat you alive, though, eh? I looked like a bloody dot-to-dot puzzle when I got home first time. I brought better midge repellent this time.’
‘I haven’t really had much of an issue, to be honest.’
His eyes widened. ‘Pfft, it’ll come. Take it easy.’ He waved and cycled off into the distance.
Suddenly feeling homesick, she pulled out her mobile and dialled her parents’ number.
‘Hello?’ Her mum’s familiar sing-song voice filled her with relief and she had to bite back tears.
‘Mum, it’s me, Zara. How are you all?’
‘Oh, sweetie, it’s so good to hear your voice. Hang on… Everybody! Zara’s on the phone! I’ll put you on speaker phone, darling.’ There was a clink and suddenly her whol
e family shouted hello simultaneously.
Hot tears streamed down her face and for a moment she struggled to speak. ‘I’m… I’m… not great today, truth be told. I’m so tired. And I feel… I feel quite lonely.’ Her voice wobbled and she swallowed, trying to force her emotion down but failing miserably – literally.
‘Oh, sweetheart, it’s just the tiredness talking. You’re doing so bloody well. We’re so proud of you.’ Her mum’s voice wobbled too.
‘Hey, princess, have you had any trouble? Do I need to be sorting anyone out?’
Zara giggled. ‘No, Dad, honestly. Everyone so far has been lovely. Very friendly.’
‘Have you had any of that haggis shit yet?’ There was a loud whack and her younger brother Will shouted, ‘Ow! Mu-u-um! What did you hit me for?’
‘William Bailey, you do not swear.’
He sighed in that typical teenager fashion and huffed. ‘Sorry. So, have you then, Zee?’
Zara was laughing by this point. ‘Well, Wills, all I can say is don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it, mate. You’d be surprised.’
‘Ugh! They make it from sheep eyes and all sorts, you know.’
Zara’s laughter increased. ‘They do not! I’m not on an episode of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, you know. I’m not being forced to eat weird stuff. The food has been really good so far.’
‘Ah, but I bet you miss your mum’s Sunday dinners, eh?’ her dad chimed in.
‘You lot are acting like I’ve been away months.’
‘Well, it does feel like a long time, darling. We can’t wait for you to come home.’
Zara sighed. ‘Yeah, me too. But my work needs me. I’ll be home before you know it.’
‘See, that’s my smiley girl. I knew you’d be all right. You just needed to hear your family’s voices.’
‘I think I did, Mum. Anyway, better go. Love you all.’
‘Love you!’ came the response in unison and she hung up. She felt so much better just for that brief chat with the people who grounded her. She wiped her eyes and checked her itinerary for the campsite details and set off once again.