Edward looked at her… so slim and tiny and forlorn-looking. His cheeks hurt just looking at how gaunt her own were.
“Alright,” he finally said. “I don’t know about Mark, but I’m coming. I want to hear what you have to say,” he said, even if I don’t know if I can take it, he added mentally. “Go on in. I’ll be there soon. I promise. Oh, and, hey, Rose… for what it’s worth, I’m sorry you witnessed that.”
Rose nodded, frowning even more. “It’s alright. I might understand more than you think.” She turned to go back in. “And for what it’s worth… I’m sorry you got that for your birthday… or for Christmas. Whatever it says.”
Rose waited in Edward’s office for Paloma, Eugenie, Mark, Jason, Me’chelle, and Edward to join her, sad that the Iglesias family wasn’t able to be at the party. She had really wanted Juanito, Mama Fifine, and Pilar to hear what she had to say, as well, and now she’d have to figure out the words twice instead of once.
She had practiced some with Angelique and S. Gillam as her audience, and she loved them for it, but… how much harder would it be in person? The sweet couple she was staying with was quite understanding, but would the rest of them be?
How could she do this after watching that fight? Shouldn’t she just wait for another day?
But no.
She knew that once she said it, everything would change.
Or would it?
Could it be, Lord, that I’m already underestimating the power of love and forgiveness? Could it be that they will be supportive instead of judgmental, she thought as she picked up a Bible that was resting near her elbow at the desk. She carefully opened it; flipped a few pages randomly, and ended up staring down at the words of Psalm 127.
““Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved,”” she read, becoming immediately absorbed in the words, which flowed over her like water.
““Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.””
Tears began to stream from her eyes, even as she heard footfalls on the stairs indicating that at least a few of the people she’d asked to speak with were on their way to meet with her.
“Show me what to do, God. I thought I was here for one conversation, and You’ve torn at my heart now. I… I don’t know what to say, so give me words. I’m not sure what to do, as Your Word has tinkered with my thoughts. Why didn’t I come to You first, before I had this brilliant idea,” she whispered as she struggled to remain calm.
Blubbering about it all isn’t going to help anything, she reminded herself. Especially not on a day like today, that’s been stressful enough already. God, can You help me? I’m not sure I… It’s Edward’s birthday; it’s Christmas; Majesta is becoming a pre-teen. What could I be thinking, trying to-
“Rose… are you up here already,” she heard Paloma call.
“I’m in here,” she said, setting the Bible back down; leaving it open.
The women of the invitees came in, with Edward behind them. “The other guys will be up in a couple more minutes. Sorry it took so long to…”
“It’s alright. It’s… it’s given me some time to think,” she said, a sudden fear coming over her. She could feel a familiar hunger inside of her that nothing could fill… and as suddenly, peace.
She reached for her St. Peter’s medal as she listened to the little group chat. Was God really with her in this? And if so, was He with her on the decision she’d made before reading that passage, or was He trying to steer her clear of it and show her another way?
Show me what to do, Lord. What am I going to say? Or am I really here for prayer, and don’t even know it?
“Well, would you like to begin without them, or wait,” Me’chelle asked her finally, the silence screaming between them all. “I’m good either way, I just…”
“Well…”
Rose took a good look at her friends; tried to see into their hearts, past the facades of what she could see with her eyes. Past Me’chelle’s long blonde braids and dark, beautiful skin; past Paloma’s red hair and vibrant blue-violet eyes, and Eugenie’s new haircut; past the lines on all four faces that spoke of the time she had been absent from them.
More footsteps could be heard on the stairs, and she sighed with relief. At least she didn’t have to wait too much longer.
“Lord, give me strength and words,” she whispered. “Where should I begin,” she said once everyone was settled and listening. “I, um…”
“Yes,” Mark asked.
Rose felt her heart beating within her in double time, and she began to shake.
Not now, God. No withdrawal stuff now!
“I thought, when I called you all together, I was going to tell you one thing, and now, there’s something else rising within me to say. And either way, I don’t know what words to use. I just knew…”
“It’s all right, take your time. The presents will keep, and so will the other guests,” Edward assured her with a smile.
“Thank you; I… I didn’t want to do this on your birthday; I didn’t want to do it at Christmas, at least, I didn’t want to do what I thought I was going to do.”
Eugenie looked at her askance a moment. “Okay…”
“Well, you see,” Rose began, taking a deep breath. “At first I thought I was going to be telling you all I want to give this baby up for adoption, but…” She picked up the Bible. “Then I read something that… it shifted something inside of me and helped me realize that was taking the coward’s way out. At least for me. For some people it is the best thing, but… I felt like God was telling me…”
She paused a moment, trying to regain some emotional traction. “I felt like God was telling me to hold on; that there was a reason for this, even if I don’t immediately see it; that this baby… that this baby will be a blessing, and not a curse. I…”
The tears began to fall again, and she looked around the room, trying to gauge the emotions on each silent face.
“Now, maybe I’m feeling this way because it’s Christmas, or maybe I’m just being an emotional basket case stuck between withdrawals and the deposits of prayer you’ve all put in for me, but… I’ve just got this feeling that everything will be alright. I’ve been terrified. Just thinking about giving birth in six more months, not knowing if my child will be normal or not? It’s more than I know what to do with, and I…”
Paloma and Me’chelle moved closer in to her for a hug, and for a moment, it was hard to breathe. One at a time, all but Mark did the same.
Not that she’d ever expected one from the man.
“Know what,” Me’chelle said. “We’re going to get through this, together. All of us, and then some. I know it.”
“Rose, I’m sure you probably know and recall that we had some scares with Clayton when he was born,” Jason said finally, his voice soft. “And I know I never said it, but I was scared speechless sometimes. It’s hard, not knowing what to expect. And look at the boy… he has some hearing and sight impairments, yes, but those are minor things compared to what I’d been imagining. And it isn’t that he can’t see or hear… it just takes him longer to process some things.”
Several nods around the room confirmed what Jason was telling her, and she thought for a moment about the young teenager who, as a child, she had helped care for. And he was right; Clayton was as smart as any kid she’d met… maybe more so than some.
“I… well, I…” She hesitated a moment, trying to find her wording. “Thank you. All of you. I really appreciate you, and your time. Thank you for not giving up on me, even when, really, I deserved it.”
“Who deserves to be given up on,” Eugenie asked
her. “Certainly not you,” she continued.
Rose noticed the woman’s eyes flit over to Mark and back again.
“Well, with all my mistakes and all I’ve done…”
“Hush up now, Rose. You deserve love and care as much as the rest of us,” Paloma told her, hugging her again. “And don’t you ever forget it.”
Forty Five
Paloma endeavored to call everyone to attention as the children began gathering around the tree; it was a tight squeeze, but she heard not one complaint.
“Hey,” she said, her voice an octave or two above what she was used to using. “I think we’re going to start with presents now, if you all want to find somewhere to sit and join in.”
“I don’t think they can hear you,” Tawny told her with a laugh. “Hold on, Girlfriend.”
A piercing whistle met her ears, and everything in the room stopped again; this time, at least, for something positive. Of course, Tom, Tawny and their kids hadn’t arrived until after the earlier fiasco, so maybe they hadn’t heard.
“Can we get ya’ll to sit on down,” her friend said, standing near the dining room table, plate in hand. “We’re going to get going on the Christmas and birthday presents, and then have desert once we’re finished. So if everyone would settle down just a little bit…”
A smattering of laughter and applause went around the room, and Paloma thanked her friend quickly before finding herself a seat.
Though it was her house, her tree, her husband’s birthday, the only seat she was able to find was next to Majesta, the birthday girl, on the floor halfway between the tree and the couch, which had been moved back for more room. Edward, she noticed, was not even in the room; she stretched and craned her neck around, trying to find him, but to no avail.
Where could he be?
The door opened even as the thought popped into her head, and there he was, dressed as Santa, after all. He strode toward the center of the living room, where the tree sat, and asked the kids to give him a little room.
“Changed my mind,” he told her before she could even ask, giving her a quick wink. “Alright, everybody,” he said, raising his voice. “Since we’ve got so many people here, and some of you haven’t been here for a while, let’s go over the rules; they’re simple.”
A few groans and chuckles pulsed through the air.
“Rule one – I’m Santa today; if I ask you to pass a gift along to someone else, it’s to save time and awkwardness in the sea of knees as we get the gifts passed out. Rule two – we wait for each gift to be unwrapped separately, so we can all see. Cards opened together are fine, since it would take forever to get through everything if we didn’t. Rule three: cards first, feel free to open when you get them. Presents next, wait until they’re distributed, and we’ll watch one person at a time. That’s it,” he said. “Oh, and birthday gifts will be opened after we all dive in for the cake and ice cream.”
He glanced around him, and Paloma felt his eyes on her for a few moments before he spoke again. “So, that said, I need three volunteers to be Santa’s helpers.”
“I didn’t think you believed in Santa,” Jason shouted above the din of voices as hands shot up – more kids than adults.
The same set up question every year. Paloma smiled, ready for the explanation, but for once, there was no reply. It was as though Edward was ignoring her brother.
What was going on?
“Alright, Majesta… you’re the birthday girl; you’re helper one. Now, let’s see,” Edward said, a twinkle in his eye. “Clayton, you want to help?”
The boy nodded vigorously, his soft curly hair shining in the overhead light. Paloma could see the edge of his hearing aid, thankful for technology. Jason had been so right to say his son was smart… he was one of the brightest kids she’d ever met.
“And let’s see… one more, hmm?”
The kids whose hands were still up began to wave with more vigor, and she began to laugh.
“Well, Duncan, want to give it a shot?”
“Aw, that’s not fair,” Cherish said while her brother beamed, nodding. “He got to be helper last year, too.”
“”But this year there are birthday helpers, too, remember. No worries, Young Lady,” she heard Edward say before turning his attention to the room. “And we have our helpers!”
A cheer went up.
Edward picked up a basket full of envelopes and began to read off names, handing the envelopes to his helpers to pass along to their recipients. Another basket of cards, and another, before, finally, the gifts.
Beginning with those closest to him and working clockwise, Edward patiently passed gifts out, making sure that each person got their first one, before he handed out the extras people had brought. He set aside a few for his children that would be for the next day, and those wrapped in birthday paper for later on.
While it made for going around the tree twice, it seemed worth it… something Paloma and Edward had instituted the year they had Chosen and Duncan.
After a while, Jason spoke back up. “Hey, didn’t you hear me earlier? I thought you didn’t believe in Santa Claus.”
And still, Edward didn’t answer; he just kept calling names and passing gifts along.
Those that were heavier than the kids could lift, a handful of the adults helped with, making time go by faster.
“You might all be wondering why I’m ignoring Jason’s cues,” he finally said, smiling. “And it’s because the kids are old enough to know better… so are we. We know that Santa isn’t about a person, but that it’s a spirit of the heart; a spirit of generosity… and really, generosity comes from our Lord and Savior. And for that reason, we celebrate His birthday today…. Oh, we know He wasn’t born in December; it was probably more like September… but that we set aside time to share together in the love of God, and we recall how generous the Father was to send the Son, and the Son was to send the Spirit…. When we think about all He has blessed us with, well… that’s what matters.”
A cheer went around the room again, and the rest of the Christmas presents were distributed. “All right now, we can begin. Majesta… you’re the birthday girl…. Why don’t we begin with you?”
Three hours later, as they were finishing up their desserts, Edward and Paloma finally got to catch up with each other on what was going on.
“So, did you read it?”
“Yeah; I figured I may as well, after reading the card. Somehow I just wanted to be over it so my duty was done… not much nicer than the card, I’m afraid. It’s actually what made me decide to go ahead and be Santa, after all. ”
“Really,” she asked as she pulled her chair closer to his at the table, allowing someone else to get their tea for them when it was ready so they could talk.
“Yeah, I just…”
How could he explain it?
He didn’t want to really discuss the letter right now, but he knew, eventually, they’d have to. He wanted to relish in the thought of new possibilities, and in Rose’s return to their lives. He wanted to fling conventional ways away – just this once – and pull away with his little family from the bigger crowd. Maybe go to the beach for a few days and recuperate.
When was the last time they had rest as a family.
True, honest before God rest?
“You just…,” she parroted him gently. “What’s going on, Edward?”
“I think I need to talk to Jason about a vacation, and sooner than later. I’m meeting with him on Monday regarding the new… information, and I think… I think we need to get away for a few days, you and I. The kids will be alright staying somewhere else; we need a break; a second honeymoon, if you will. and then on some weekend, we’ll take them out and have a break as a family. I just… things need to change around here, and as the head of this house, it’s taken me a while to realize it, but now I do. I see it, and it glares at me, blindingly. Forgive me for not seeing it sooner.”
“Oh, Edward…”
There were tears in Paloma’s eye
s as she moved to hug him, and he relished the embrace, returned it, and kissed her, not caring who might object. It was their house, after all… and she was his wife.
And he found her incredible.
Forty Six
Paris, France… December 24, 1706
Sir Gaspar smiled in appreciation at his wife, thankful the King had finally consented to the marriage, despite having no record of Galya being born in France. Especially since it was pretty safe to say she wasn’t.
Whoever would have thought he’d end up married to a woman from Israel, it wasn’t him… until the evening she had fallen through his mirror. Even then, it was more than two years of hard learning before she was able to tell him her origins. And those years had been worth it, in spite of the frustration involved.
He was glad he waited for her instead of rushing into a marriage he could see, looking back, would have been doomed from the beginning. Miss Marguerite had become reengaged within a matter of months, and was already a happy mother of two, while Gaspar and Galya had been married less than a month, but he was okay with that.
“Shall we,” he asked as they stood to leave the church service.
It was good to be in Paris for the holiday; they had extended their honeymoon just to accommodate the occasion. It gave them time to allow Galya to meet Mary Stuart and her daughter, Louisa Maria , as well as several of the people he worked with when he had need to come into the city.
“Merci,” Galya said, taking the arm he offered her. “I believe so.”
They proceeded toward the entrance, weaving through the throngs of people, only to be stopped by King Louis and his consort, the Marquise Françoise d’Aubigné– dressed in full regalia – at the door as they, too, were leaving.
“I know you,” Louis said once both couples were outside, the royal carriage in wait. “You were at one of my balls, were you not? I was trying to place your face when you requested to marry this woman,” he continued, looking down his nose toward Gaspar from the carriage now.
The Angels' Mirror Pack 2: Books Four through Seven Page 27