***
Archer heard the rush of water turn on and off in the bathroom after Joanna retreated. It’d been hard, letting her go at all, but he forced himself to do it. He forced his fingers to uncurl from around her hips and forced himself to sit still as he watched her leave the room.
The pretty feline was more than he’d expected. He thought what they’d done might have lessened his need around her, but it only seemed to make the pull stronger. He wanted to stalk her down the hallway, to stand in the bathroom doorway and watch her shower.
For the first time, Archer wondered what he might have passed up on in his rebellion. He shoved himself up from the couch and tentatively made his way down the hall toward the bathroom. When a brush of cool air touched his bare feet, he threw the door open.
Joanna had shoved the window open, and Archer could see the shift of the lynx behind her eyes. She spun toward him, frozen like a deer in the headlights.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, humor on his lips despite the implications. She’d been about to escape. “Did you forget that you’re a hostage?”
She gave him an incredulous look. “You can’t ask me to stay here!”
“I’m not asking.” He jumped forward and snatched her before she could shift and leapt through the window. Archer threw her over his shoulder. She protested, shouting at him and beating against his back.
He wasn’t about to let her run back to Killian. Archer wasn’t quite sure why he wanted to keep her, but he knew it was an instinct to listen to. He knew if he let her go, he might never see her again and he wanted to make sure the time they had together lasted. He would drag out the hours into days if he had to.
With her over his shoulder, he climbed the stairs. There was no sound in the house save for the snoring of an old man behind the door at the end of the hall. Where his brothers had gotten to, Archer didn’t know. Later, he would hunt them down. He would tell them of what he planned so they could clean up the aftermath.
Gage would find his place as second in command if Cohen rose to the position of Alpha like Archer suspected he would. His older brother was stern and held himself in a way that allowed for little questioning. That was the kind of Alpha the Vancourt Pack needed. He would whip them all into shape and ease the ankle biting they’d all grown into.
Archer would worry about none of that while Joanna was still in reach. He would only worry about the creases on her forehead and whether or not he’d put them there.
“Archer,” she whispered as he shoved the door open. “I don’t think you understand my situation.”
He tossed her onto the bed, where she bounced. He watched her breasts jiggle before him, growing hungry before he answered. “I know exactly what is going on. I know the man for the monster he is and the horrors he’s accomplished, but you should know I won’t allow it to go on.”
“What does that mean?” she pleaded, clearly concerned as she sat up.
“It means you don’t have to worry about it anymore. You’re going to stay here, in the Vancourt house, where you’re safe, while I go and take care of it.”
Her lips twisted into a scowl. “That doesn’t tell me much.”
“Give me tonight. Let me lay next to you, skin on skin, just for tonight.” He crawled toward her, hovering over her.
She let out a breath, chest falling. If this was his last night one earth, he knew he would not die a disappointed man. He knew there would never be love between them, but he couldn’t help but wonder if there could have been some kind of contented happiness. There was no going back, no changing what he’d done, so he tried not to think about it.
She sank back into the blankets and he lowered himself to lay beside her. His leg pressed against hers, skin against skin. It was a kind of heaven he’d never known before. When he threw his arm over her, it settled beneath her breasts as she reached to cradle it.
They lay there in silence, neither of them slipping into sleep as their heart beats synced. Joanna wriggled, readjusting.
“Was there something wrong with me?”
Archer froze. “What are you talking about?”
She paused, the moment of silence yawning between them until she found her voice again. “When our engagement was announced, and you left… was it because there’s something wrong with me?”
“My decision had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the asshole at the end of the hall.” Archer had never said it out loud before. For years, he’d thought he’d left for love. He thought the human woman was his mate and his father was only getting in the way of destiny. “Dad put us all on pretty short leashes. He trained us to be his soldiers, grooming each of us for our future roles. Cohen would become the second in command, I would be the third, and Gage would be an enforcer. Our days were filled with brutal physical training. Dad acted more like a drill instructor than a father.
“So, when he announced that another part of my life was already decided for me, it kind of flipped a switch in me. I thought I’d had control of that small part of my life at least. I thought I could decide who I loved, and then our engagement was announced. I couldn’t stand knowing I wasn’t my own person.”
Joanna sat, silent, against his chest. His arm tightened on her, instinctively, as if she might bolt from his excuses at any moment.
“You broke my heart, you know?”
Archer couldn’t speak. What could he say to that? He hadn’t known. At the time, there’d been no way of knowing. He’d avoided her the best he could because he couldn’t stand the reminder of what his life had become.
Her fingers played along his arm, leaving trails of fire that made him pull her closer. “I was in love with you. Everything I’d heard about you or seen from you seemed…perfect. Maybe it was all in my head, but it felt real enough. I couldn’t have been happier about the arrangement. I even looked forward to our life together. I even wondered if our children would be grizzlies or lynxes.”
Archer wanted to remind her that it’d been a lie. Clearly, he hadn’t been the perfect man she’d imagined. He’d been a foolish kid with a selfish heart. Yet, he kept his mouth shut and let her go on, feeling a warmth in his chest that dissolved the words.
“You denied me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something wrong with me. I was ugly; I was a small shifter; I was the weak daughter of an Alpha. All those things chipped away at me until I met Killian. We met in Mexico while I was on vacation. He was wild and loved adventure. So much that we went sky diving together not long after we met. He made me feel alive in a way that I hadn’t in years.”
Archer let his head fall against her back. “He filled the void I left.”
She moved. He didn’t realize she’d nodded until she spoke again. “The need to be accepted blinded me to some of the red flags. I didn’t want to see them. Not as long as someone wanted me.”
She sighed, her body deflating in his arms. The years had taken a lot out of her. The feisty beast she wanted to be, filled with fury and strength, was still caught in the throes of self-doubt. She beat herself up for what she’d brought into her pack, for how it destroyed her life.
Archer knew he was, in part, to blame for Killian’s presence. She’d filled the void he’d left. It was natural. Killian was not. He didn’t know what staying would have brought either of them. There was no turning back time to bring back the dead. All they could do was move forward.
Part of him already mourned what could have been. It echoed through the room, a moment in time that sang of what they could have been. The darkness of the room bound them in a small space while they clung to one another. It revealed to each of them that something good could lie ahead. Archer could already tell his bear wanted her. It wanted to hold on tight to the feisty lynx, to stand behind her while she brought the world to it’s knees.
He'd been trained to be a back-up to an Alpha. At the time, it’d always been insinuated that the Alpha would be their father. But, Sampson was dying and what remained of the
Bart Pack needed a new leader. He had to remind himself that she would do just fine after he was gone. She had what it took to lead. He could already tell that her heart was in the right place. She’d put what remained of her old pack before herself for a while now.
In the morning, the moment would be gone. The world would come back and demand action from both of them. If he was smart, he would slip out of the room before she woke. That way, he would know she was somewhere safe while he challenged Killian.
While Archer pulled her tight to his body, they both drifted into a sound sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
Archer snored. It was kind of cute. Joanna didn’t mind the sound, the gentle wheeze that crescendoed into a small roar. She rolled onto her side to watch him. Her heart clenched, trying to drag her closer to him again. The life they could have lived seemed to fill the space between them. The cutest cubs together, protected by his strength, laughter and a home filled with warmth.
Her hand curled in the sheets beneath her. Soon, she would have to go back to Killian and her Pack. It wasn’t what she wanted. Even if Archer didn’t believe he could love, that anyone could love, she wanted to give it a try. She wanted to be the person to open his eyes. Part of her believed he already loved her. It was only a spark, something waiting to grow, but she could see it in him. It was the way he had grabbed her the night before when Killian’s coyotes had surrounded them. It was the way he had made sure she came first when they had made love in the night. She’d seen it on his face when he grabbed her before she could sneak out the window.
He’d been afraid. Afraid to let her go or afraid to lose her, she didn’t know. All she knew was that it made her heart ache.
Her eyes dipped, catching sight of his morning wood. Reaching out, she ran her fingertips along it. Ever so gently. He shuddered, but didn’t wake. It was far larger than she’d seen before, and she’d seen a lot of nude men as a shifter. Shifting didn’t magically bless one with clothing.
She leaned into him and laid a kiss on his lips. He stirred, hands rising to gently stroke her shoulders. His lips parted, and she pressed forward. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, prodding and exploring. He tasted far better than the French Silk Pie she’d imagined.
Once more, she threw her leg over him, straddling him. His cock pressed against her center. His eyelids drifted open, his dreamy gaze on her. She smiled as he moaned and reached for her. His hands drifted over her thighs and explored her skin. The touch of his rough hands on her felt as good as she expected.
Better, even. His hands rounded her thighs to grip her ass and pull her forward. The tip of his cock pressed against her opening. Was she ready for him? She wasn’t sure as she bit her lip. She was wet, but she didn’t know if it would be enough to take him into her.
Yet, she tried. She lowered herself onto him. The first inch fought its way inside her, past the tight opening that she hadn’t used in a long while. Yet, once past it, he slid home inside her. She gasped, the sensation rocking through her. It was too much, yet she wanted more. It stole the words from her mouth.
Beneath her, Archer laughed. Awake now, his hands moved to cradle her back as he flipped her over. With his body hovering over hers, he started with a slow rhythm. He pumped slowly, working his way inside her to the hilt. Joanna hadn’t realized how much further he could go. Deeper and deeper until all she could do was moan.
Archer smiled and kept up the slow pace, coaxing her with each thrust until she was wet enough so that he could take her with harder and faster lunges. Joanna let out a loud groan, one that echoed through the room. She shoved her fist between her teeth and bit down. There were other people in the house. She didn’t need them knowing what they were up to.
“No,” he grunted above her. “I want them to know. I want them to know you’re mine.”
He pulled her hand out of her mouth and pinned it to the bed above her. His hips thrust faster and faster. It smashed her argument and rattled her brain until all she could do was arch her back beneath him. Pleasure pulsed in her core, flaring hotter every time he hit home. She knew she was so close. She was nearly done for. How much longer could she hold out?
“Scream for me, Joanna. Let me know you’re mine.”
She couldn’t hold it back any longer. He thrust. Hard. Harder. Pressure built. She didn’t want him to stop. She couldn’t hold in her scream. The orgasm burst free and the scream spilled from her to rattle the rafters above her. It probably woke the old man trying to sleep two doors down, but she didn’t care. The pleasure inside of her was too much; it was overwhelming. She needed to let it out.
Above her, Archer pumped. His body slammed into hers and sent aftershocks tumbling through her limbs. She could barely hold on, drifting away in their sea of pleasure. This was how her life should have been. This was what she should have tried harder to hold on to.
His back arched and she felt the pressure explode through her again. The pulse of his cock as he came rattled her second orgasm and made her toes curl as she wrapped her legs around him.
She wanted to hold on to him, to pull him into her body and make sure he could never leave again. Yet, she knew what a foolish urge it was even as her fingers dug into his skin. She forced herself to pull back and let go.
Archer twisted and rolled over, pulling her up so that she lay across his chest. His arms held onto her like a heavy and comforting blanket. Joanna stole a moment to lay there and bask in the spark that still bound them. He was still buried inside her, staying as if he’d finally found home.
She buried her face in the hollow of his neck. Trust was not something Joanna gave out freely anymore. She’d long ago learned it was useless when she put it in the hands of others. A small part of her, something weak and mewling, wanted to put it in Archer’s hands. She wanted to see him stand beside her as she tried to put the horror of the past few years to rest.
She opened her mouth to say as much, but quickly snapped it shut. No, Joanna. Don’t give him everything you have left.
***
Archer wasn’t sure what he was doing. The words that’d come from his mouth were instinctual, rising into the world before he could stop them. Maybe it was the fact that he was balls deep inside her. Maybe it was something he finally realized he couldn’t control.
He looked to the woman laying in his arms, breathing heavy as her limbs still twitched with aftershocks, and he found himself filled with pride. He was happy he’d brought her to orgasm not just once, but twice this time. He was happy she was the one in his arms, wrapped against the world that threatened her.
He didn’t understand the feeling, but he didn’t dwell on it either. He knew his time was limited and he didn’t want to waste it on wondering all the time. He chose to live in the moment and absorb what he could. His plan had been to leave before she woke, but he’d fallen into a sleep deeper than anything he’d had in years.
His wake-up call had been even better. Archer didn’t want to give up the sensation of being inside her yet. For years, he’d missed out on this. He was trying to make up for it in the few moments they had. He reached up he brushed the hair from her face.
“Promise me something,” he whispered. It was pointless as they’d probably woken everyone in the house already, but the words begged to be whispered. As if he could barely stand the truth of them. “Promise me you will stay here today. You aren’t a hostage, but I want to know you’re safe while I take care of a few things.”
Joanna pushed up to look him in the eye. There was surprise written across her face. The mistrust he saw in those eyes cut him deep. He wanted to smooth it away with the brush of his thumb, kiss it off her face with his lips. So badly, in fact, that his chest ached. His own brows knit together as he tried to figure out what he was feeling.
“What do you mean take care of a few things?”
“You’ll find out soon enough. I just need you here while I do it. If I know you’re with Gage and Cohen, I’ll be able to focus and get the job done.”
> She rolled away from him to sit on the edge of the bed with her back to him. Pain cut deeper. What was wrong with him? It’d only been a night of sex. It was purely physical, and yet, the emotions he felt when she turned her back on him were unlike anything he’d felt in years.
Not since the human woman. His throat tightened. He wanted to reach out to her, but kept his hands to himself.
“Don’t get yourself involved in my mess,” Joanna hissed. She shot up, pausing when she realized she had no clothes. Hers were still outside in the snow and mud. “I mean it. You’ll only make a mess of things.”
“Jo, you can’t do this on your own.” Truth be told, he didn’t want her anywhere near Killian. The bear growled inside him at the thought of Killian laying a hand on her again. He would tear the man’s fingers from his hand, one by one, for touching her.
“I have to do it on my own. No one else has ever actually tried to help. Your pack only came in time to cover their asses. They never wanted to step up and help me.”
“They aren’t my Pack,” Archer growled. Right now, they were a bunch of sniveling animals. None of them knew right from wrong anymore.
“Oh, yeah. I remember,” Joanna said. “You’re loyal to no one. You come and go as you please with no consequences for your actions.”
Archer gripped the blankets beneath him. He wanted to tear them apart, to feel something rip beneath his hands. “I know there were consequences for what I did. If you would try to listen to me, you’d understand that I’m trying to make things right.”
He paused, waiting for a response from her. Joanna said nothing. She only shrunk on herself, a small moment of vulnerability before she built her wall back up again. Her shoulders straightened, and she rose from the mattress.
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