He wondered, if he had his soul, if he would be able to see the truth. Would he know her as she claimed, as his mate? The way his body reacted around her, it seemed as though she spoke the truth.
He glanced at the cars parked in the lot before turning to lead Nora through the Lodge doors. Even if she wasn’t honest, she looked stunning. The blue dress made her skin pale and creamy. It brought out the color of her eyes, turning them into sparkling jewels. He could have planted her atop the counter and claimed her with his mouth. But, they both needed more than senseless sex.
He would try to connect on another level.
A cheer rose from the Lodge’s bar as soon as they entered. A familiar woman bounced from the round booth in the far corner and ran toward him. Thalia flung herself into his arms. He tried wrapping his arms around her. It bothered him that she was only a body in his embrace. Nothing rose, no gratitude or love.
Nora took a step back, nervous in the presence of his sister, but it didn’t last long once Sydney appeared. The tall blonde took Nora into her arms and squeezed. They were led toward the table where drinks and conversation already waited for them.
Javier sat back, sandwiched between Nora and his sister. There was a true bond between one and a questionable bond between the other, though Javier couldn’t tell the difference. It made him look to Nora. The smile that spread across her face as she spoke to Sydney and Jax brightened her eyes and turned her cheeks into pink apples.
“This can’t be the only thing you guys do on a date!” Thalia cried.
Nora cast a glare in Javier’s direction. Surrounded by them, the look was a pin in his chest. His breath stuck in his throat. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t draw in more air as he realized he felt more than nothing. If anything, it was the sharpest feeling he’d had since…
Since being buried hilt deep inside Nora.
He licked his lips, trying to grasp what this might mean, while Nora and Thalia stared at him. He offered them an uneasy smile, shaken from the sudden force of emotion. “Ah, no, this isn’t the only thing I have planned for tonight.”
The tension in Nora’s shoulders released and her lips parted with surprise.
“Did you think this was all we’d do?”
“Well, kind of. I didn’t know a man without a soul could plan a date.”
The voices around the table quieted. They all turned to stare at Nora, at the voice that proclaimed what everyone tried so hard to ignore. Thalia’s gaze darkened. If she could have, she might have leapt across the table and ripped out Nora’s throat.
But, Javier smiled. “I would say I surprised myself, too, but I don’t have feelings anymore.”
Nora sucked her teeth, hiding the smile trying to take over her lips. It was a lie, though, because he could feel something. Surrounded by the pack and Nora, he felt surprise and humor. It lifted him up and relaxed muscles that had been tense since he’d found freedom.
He watched the faces around him. Rhylan was cool and collected compared to his firecracker of a sister. Together, they found a kind of balance. Sydney and Jax had forged a similar balance, the female wolf bringing light to the darkness around Jax. They all spoke and laughed as though they’d been pack their entire lives.
Risking their lives the way they had brought people together. Over and over, this pack broke through the hunters’ defenses to free shifters trapped in their grasp. They knew each other, knew their strengths and weaknesses, trusted one another. It was more than Javier could have wanted. The part of him that could feel wanted to be part of the family. He wanted to be inside this pack.
But, it wasn’t his place. After a while, the conversation dying down and the drinks reaching the bottom, Javier grabbed Nora’s hand. They locked eyes, sharing a moment. Through her, everything grew stronger. He felt tears burn his eyes at the thought of his sister risking her neck for him. He felt his heart twist at the thought of Nora’s loss, her power ripped away.
It was too much. He ripped his hand away and returned to the dull sensations. The world softened and quieted, no longer pulling him under a crashing wave of emotions. He wanted his soul back, he reminded himself, but he wouldn’t know what to do with it. Too long he’d been locked in a cage. Too long he’d been an empty shell.
“Are you alright?” Nora asked.
All Javier could do was nod. “I think it’s time we move on to the next surprise.”
Chapter Seven
He watched Nora’s face. It gave him a small amount of pleasure to watch her emotions unfold there, from trepidation to awe to excitement. As a smile curled along his lips, he felt his face crack from disuse. It was like trying to warm a machine that had been stationary for years, creaking and crumbling.
When Nora’s swung toward him, her mouth in the shape of an O, no words came to her.
“I wanted something a little more private after drinks. I hope that’s okay.”
Javier had called in some favors. While he now owed the small pack, it’d been worth it.
A small, woven basket sat on the ground beside a blanket. He helped Nora smooth her skirt as she sat down. Beyond them was a white sheet, strung up between two trees. A projector was perched behind them, the light flickering and dancing across the sheet as it started up.
The night had already been far more than Javier had expected. The sensation of emotions still lingered, though fainter. Surrounded by pack, he’d found a tie to his soul. He’d wanted to stay with them and bask in the sensation, but it’d been too much. The temptation to feel was strong, but it might have broken him. He would have fallen apart in the middle of the Lodge. A public venue was no place for a shifter to break.
His gratitude and fear for Thalia had broken his heart. His intense desire for Nora and sorrow for her loss had shattered it. If he’d stayed any longer, would he have felt the rising fear of Cordelia? Would his wolf have howled and struggled, fighting to be free of his body? The beast so often tore through him, convinced the only safe form came with teeth and claws.
It would have been a mess in the Lodge bar. Out here, not only were the feelings muted, but if he needed to break, he could. There was no one to hurt or scare. Nora had seen the worst of him already. He knew she’d been there every day, watching him while he was in captivity. Once upon a time, he’d been bitter about it. Now, as he sank onto the blanket with her, he realized she’d been watching over him.
“I should thank you for all you did when we lived at the farmhouse.”
Nora snorted into her drink. “I don’t think lived is quite the right word for what we did there.”
He leaned into her and a smile touched the corner of his mouth. It was a warm sensation that steadily filled his chest with delight. “You’re probably right.” Javier tilted his head back and let his mind wander. With Nora so close, it followed her and all the things he barely knew about her. “You were married once before, correct? You said his name was Walter.”
Nora stilled. Her face shut down, going blank.
Javier wanted to know more about this man who’d once claimed her heart. Was it foolish to wonder how he compared? The universe had shoved Nora and Javier together, but his mate had chosen this man. He couldn’t help but wonder about the differences between choice and fate in this situation. It was clear neither of them asked for the situation they were in. It was a mess neither could quite figure out how to put back together, not without further falling apart.
“We met in college,” she began as she picked pills of cotton from the blanket beneath them. Her words were slow, as if pulling them from inside her was like pulling teeth. How deep had she buried her husband when he died?
“That’s a fine place to meet people,” Javier agreed.
“Funny thing was, he wasn’t a student. Walter just came to walk the perimeter of the campus because it was on the banks of a lake. A lot of people liked to do that. So, one day I ran into Walter while he was walking his dog. Really, it was the dog that won me over. A pit-bull mix. She was small and sweet.
Silence fell over them. The subject had switched almost seamlessly, but Javier wasn’t done with Walter. “Tell me more about him. Tell me all the things he did to make you smile. Tell me how he made you happy, so I can try.”
She turned glassy eyes to him, a weak smile on her lips. “You don’t have to replace him, you know. There aren’t any shoes you need to fill, no chart you have to measure up to.”
He hung his head. “No, but if we cannot win this fight… if I am to live without a soul forever, I’d like to know ways I can make you happy without it. Then I could at least try.”
***
Nora leaned into her mate. Something thrummed between them, like the first chord of a guitar, and she didn’t want to let it go. The night seemed to spark life in her mate. It reminded her of the moment after they’d came together, their bodies connected. She’d seen his soul, she was sure of it.
The only thing was Nora wasn’t sure about was how. By all accounts, Cordelia held tight onto Javier’s soul. It was whole. Nora shouldn’t be seeing fragments of it in her mate’s eyes. She shouldn’t see moments where he’s filled with humor and mirth. Glancing up at him, she wondered what it might mean. Was his soul truly broken after the years in her mother’s hands? If she returned the rest of it to him, what would happen? Who would he become?
He looked down at her. “What?”
She swallowed, turning her attention back to the romantic comedy on the sheet. The whole night had been a sweet affair. This wasn’t the workings of a man with no soul. It was impossible. The only explanation was that a part of him, a fragment of the soul he’d lost, truly had returned.
But, how?
Javier reached for a stack of meat, cheese, and cracker, lifting it to Nora’s lips. The gesture was intimate, and she couldn’t help but nip his fingers as she took a bite. He laughed. The sound rumbled through them, comforting like the purr of a cat.
“I don’t want you to be a copy of Walter,” she confessed.
His head perked up and he leaned away from her if only to look down at her with confusion. She had to turn away, avoid his penetrating gaze to straighten her mind. “Walter and I, we had a good thing for a while. It was nice while it lasted, but I’m not the same woman I was back then.”
“If you’re talking about your loss of power…”
She cut him off. “No, it’s not that. I, myself, have changed. The years after Walter died were rough. It left a mark on me, one that isn’t erasable or could be healed over time. Not only did his death cut me open in a way I never expected, but my mother used that as an opportunity to pull me in deeper. I’m ashamed of the things I did while I grieved. So, the relationship I had back then wouldn’t work with the person I am now. I need someone…”
Silence fell as she fought back tears. The wound had split open and the shadows were slipping free. She wanted to grasp them all and shove them back in, pull herself back together if only to hide the past she never wanted to acknowledge.
“You need someone just as broken as you are,” Javier muttered.
“Yeah… I guess.”
He hugged her close, nuzzling his face into her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, afraid they might both fall apart if she were to let go. His lips grazed her neck. It sent thrills through her and made her head fall back. At his touch, her body went boneless.
“We have so much to make up for,” Javier whispered into her skin.
He laid another series of slow and intoxicating kisses along her neck.
“Can we ever make up for any of it?” The question shook her and almost drowned out the feeling of his hands on her skin.
He growled. The sound chased back the cool fear and replaced it with the warmth of hunger. She gripped him tight and felt a monster of her own rise. It was strong and defiant. It was all the things she always wished she could be, strong and protective.
“We can start somewhere.”
His hands slid up her thighs, pushing aside the skirt as they forgot the movie altogether. Nora fell back onto the blanket. Looking up at Javier took her breath away. Slowly, he pulled his shirt over his head. In the moonlight, he glimmered like hammered metal. His skin was wrought with small scars, a lasting effect of the silver that slowed his healing abilities. She pushed herself up to touch the small scars across his toned stomach. At the brush of her lips, Javier sucked in a sharp breath.
“Nora,” he whispered with a shudder. He collapsed forward, pressing her back. A growl filled the air, more animal than man. It was the song she’d spent countless nights listening to.
She ran her hands along his shoulders, up his neck, and over his jaw to find his hair. It was soft and silken between her fingers as she tangled them in it. Once again, when she looked up at him, something sparkled in his eyes.
It could have been the reflection of the nearby projector. It could have been the stars in the sky, twinkling against the darkness of his eyes. Yet, Nora was almost certain it was his soul. A sliver of it lurking inside of him and revealing itself when she was near. Why else would he ask how to make her happy? If he was as empty as he thought, it would have mattered little to him. That small sliver spoke louder than he thought.
Her only question was how? It seemed impossible. A thrill raced through her heart. If she could unravel the reason he’d gained that small piece, then they could work on the rest. Eventually, they would have the entire thing returned.
But, the glimmer faded, and his lips curled into a feral snarl. His grip on her thighs turned bruising. He growled with need, like an animal in rut. Nora found she didn’t want to stop him. She liked the way he pushed her. It made her stomach flip and her heart hammer.
He bent and nipped her neck. The second bite was hard enough to make her cry out. The third was enough to draw blood. Nora held onto him all the while, slowly moving to wrap her legs around him. She deserved this. She enjoyed this. It was a dark pleasure, the pain mingling with the sensation in her core.
His cock pressed between her legs, denim rubbing against the thin layer of her panties. She cried out with need. They were close, so close. Nora wanted him inside her. It was all she could think about.
They both heard the rustle of branches and froze. The building pleasure disappeared instantly. Javier hunched over her, a protective barrier. Nora reached for the magic that had been inside her and cried at the absence of it. It was so instinctive, she hadn’t even thought about it being gone.
A shape darted through the woods toward them. Nora froze as it raced across the grassland. Javier’s head snapped up just in time to see the beast. His hand snapped out and caught the beast. Tension rippled over them and then broke.
“Thalia?” Javier croaked.
The wolf panted and dropped to the ground. She’d been running at a break neck speed to get to them. Nora’s heart leapt into her throat. She shoved down the hem of her dress and fumbled to her hands and knees.
“Thalia, you have to change to speak,” Nora reminded her.
The beast seemed content to lay where she was, still struggling. The shift was slow and labored. Thalia whimpered through it, the wolf’s voice bleeding into Thalia’s until a human woman knelt in the grass, her hair over her face.
Javier was the one to lean forward and push the hair from his sister’s face. Her eyes were wide. Her breathing was still shallow. Where was her mate? Why had she run?
“There was… There’s an… attack!” She fought to speak through breaths. Sobs threatened to creep into her voice as tears gathered in her eyes. “Everyone… gone. They’re all… gone.”
Both Javier and Nora scrambled to their feet. Javier pushed Thalia int
o Nora’s arms.
“Stay here.” He took off running in the direction Thalia had come from, gone before Nora could even move.
Nora shouted after him, but her words fell on deaf ears. They knew nothing about the situation. He couldn’t help them until they knew what happened. Nora looked down at the woman in her arms just as Thalia’s fingers began to dig into her arms.
Nora cried out in pain and tried to tear herself away from Thalia, but the girl just grinned.
“What the…?” Nora tried to fight against the girl’s grip, but found herself trapped.
“You should have known you were never going to win this.” The voice that spoke through Thalia wasn’t hers. No, Nora knew it.
“Mother,” Nora growled. She thrashed in the false Thalia’s grip. Nora needed to run after her mate. He was running head first into a trap.
A part of his soul truly had returned, a fragment that told him to protect his sister and her pack. Cordelia knew it and had taken advantage of the situation. She’d known Javier wouldn’t hesitate to help family.
The false Thalia grinned again before her body broke into a thousand shards of light and shadow. Nora’s stomach flipped. Cordelia had combined her soul-magic with the power she’d stolen from Nora. But, Nora couldn’t help but wonder what it had cost her mother. The power Nora had been given was not without its own price. While her mother paid with the lives of others, Nora had always paid with her own.
If she continued to use Nora’s power, her soul would be eaten away, little by little.
Freed from the false Thalia’s grasp, Nora lurched forward and ran in the direction her mate had disappeared. She had the feeling she would not find him. If she looked close enough, she might find traces of her cousins.
What she found instead was far better. Two of her cousins lay in the brush, unconscious. She made sure to check their pulses. Neither were dead. Javier had enough sense not to kill them, yet he was still nowhere to be found.
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