Deeply touched by Paige’s generosity, Kate covered her vulnerability by saying, “Are you kicking me out?”
“Never,” said Paige. “I’m just hoping that you will buy a place on the beach and let me sleep on your couch instead.”
“Hello? Hello? Kate? Are you there?” Kate rolled her eyes at Jerry’s growing panic.
“Yes, Jerry, I’m here. I’m just thinking.”
“Thinking about how fast you are going to say yes, I hope. Ha ha.”
“Actually, no,” said Kate.
“No?” squeaked Jerry, his voice almost shaking. “You don’t mean that, Katie-Kate. I mean, what choice do you have?”
That did it. “You know something, Jerry? I actually have a lot of choices. And right now I am choosing to not go back into a situation where I ended up feeling powerless, used, and betrayed most of the time.”
“Wow,” whispered Paige.
“Wow,” said Jerry a beat later, as always a little bit behind the crowd. Then, under his breath, he said, “I guess he was right.”
“What?” asked Kate, both she and Paige straining to make out what he had said.
“Nothing.” Jerry sighed deeply, then continued. “We really need you, Kate.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that sooner, Jerry.” Blown away by Kate’s newfound assertiveness, Paige was thrusting her fist into the air and doing a spastic, silent victory dance.
“What if we were to offer you more money?”
Paige leaned into the phone and said, “We’re listening.”
Kate jabbed her with an elbow. “It’s not about the money,” she said, ignoring Paige’s wide-eyed, openmouthed attempts at communication.
“I know,” said Jerry, resigned. “I know that you were not treated as well as you should have been.”
“You think?” blurted Paige, earning another elbow jab.
“I do,” he said. “And I am truly sorry for that.”
“Sure, now you are,” Paige murmured.
“What was that, Kate?”
“Nothing, Jerry.” Kate covered the mouthpiece and hissed, “Could you please be quiet?” at Paige, who just shrugged and smiled. Kate shook her head and said, “Anyway, Jerry, I appreciate your apology and your offer, but I just can’t see putting myself back in that position.”
“Well…what if I could offer you more than money?”
“What do you mean?” asked Kate, trying not to laugh at Paige’s raised eyebrows and thrusting pelvis.
“Well, what if you came back as an actor…and a producer?”
Kate couldn’t believe her ears. “A producer?”
“Yes. I am offering you a producer position, with all that that entails.”
Kate covered the mouthpiece and whispered to Paige, “What does that entail?”
“Being in charge of things and people and stuff,” whispered Paige quickly. “You’ll be brilliant. Find out how much it pays.”
“Kate, are you there?”
“Yes, Jerry, I’m right here. I know I said it’s not about the money, but just so I have all of the facts, is there a pay raise with the new position?”
“Yes, of course. There is a twenty-five thousand dollar fee per episode.”
Kate and Paige silently screamed at each other: OH MY GOD!
“I see,” said Kate calmly.
“Here’s the thing, Kate,” said Jerry, sounding more desperate by the minute. “I really shouldn’t tell you this, but we need you. You and Sapphire were the show, and with both of you gone, the truth is, we’ve got nothing. I know you probably have a lot of offers already, but I’m hoping none of them have offered you the chance to have a real say in how a show is run.”
Holy shit, mouthed Paige. I know, mouthed Kate. She said into the phone, “I’m going to need to give this some thought, Jerry. Can I call you back?”
“Of course…but could you make it as soon as possible? I’m really on pins and needles here.”
“Understood. I’ll call you back within the hour,” said Kate, somehow succeeding in keeping her voice level. “I just need to discuss my options with my people.” Paige pointed to herself and mouthed, Your people? Kate grinned broadly and nodded, then said, “I do have one question, Jerry.”
“Of course,” he said.
“As a producer, would I have a say in the budget for the hair and makeup department?”
“Among other things, yes, of course.”
Paige thrust her fist into the air again, this time in a victory salute, and Kate did her best to keep her voice neutral as she said, “That is good to know, Jerry. I’ll call you back within the hour with my answer.”
Kate closed the phone and placed it carefully on the table. She and Paige sat quietly for a moment staring at it, then looked at each other, grinned, and let out an eardrum-bursting victory roar.
38
Three short days later, Kate stood outside of the conference room at the Generations offices, scared to go in. As the most recent addition to the Generations producing team, she was required to attend the weekly production meeting, during which scheduling, budgets, and any special details of the episodes were discussed. She clutched her script tightly in her damp hand and snuck a peek into the window, hoping to see a friendly face among those gathered around the long conference table. She had been standing in the same spot for ten full minutes. If she couldn’t force her feet to move in the next five, she would be late for her first day at her new job. She willed her body to move through the door, but she was frozen with anxiety.
What if her fear that she didn’t belong there was echoed back to her by the twenty people already established around the table? What if they thought she was just a stupid actress, overstepping her bounds and stealing power that wasn’t hers? What if—
“Good morning, Kate! It is so great to have you here!” Claire, the head of the wardrobe department, interrupted Kate’s self-punishment fest with a warm hug. “We are all so excited to have you back and to have you here at this meeting!” She leaned in conspiratorially and said, “For a minute there, when Jerry said they were bringing one of the actors on as a producer, we all thought he meant Sapphire. Can you imagine? Oh lord, we’d all be scrambling to find palm fronds and jewel-encrusted thrones! Anyway, we need to get in there or we are going to be late. I know a little bit about what the past week or two have been like for you, and I am totally available if you need someone to vent to. Or, for that matter, if you just need some help managing the ins and outs of your new responsibilities, my door is always open.”
“Thank you,” said Kate, a bit overwhelmed. “You may regret the offer when I am camped outside of your trailer with a list of questions.”
“Never,” said Claire, opening the door of the conference room and standing aside to let Kate in. “I will enjoy every minute. You, my dear, are a gem.”
Kate wanted another hug right then and there, but with the door open and twenty faces staring up at her, she was afraid that clinging to Claire for dear life might look a little unprofessional. She forced her feet to carry her into the room, expecting to see eye rolls and snide whispers, but instead of the anticipated “Who do you think you are?” she was greeted with a hearty round of “Kate! It is so good to see you—have you here—have you back! We missed you!”
Overwhelmed, Kate could barely manage to spit out, “I was really only gone a few days, guys.”
“But they were long days,” shouted Bill, the set decorator, to peals of laughter.
“And they were about to get longer,” added the stunt supervisor, Mike.
“Oh my god,” said Kate, settling into a chair after a brief round of hugs. “What happened while I was gone?”
“Well,” said Claire, sitting next to her, “first we heard that they fired you—”
“Which sucked,” interjected Mike. Kate thanked him with a wide smile.
“Well said, Mike,” continued Claire. “And then word came down that Sapphire was demanding that both she and Hamilton be
hired as producers—”
“Oh no!” Kate covered her mouth with her hand, seemingly unable to stop her mouth from hanging open in shock.
“Oh yes!” said Bill. “She felt she needed him in a position of power to oversee the new direction of the show.”
“What new direction?” asked Kate.
Claire took over the thread once more. “The new direction that had Sapphire playing twins. Apparently, she realized that letting you go would leave a hole in the show—”
“And you know how she loves to fill her hole,” said Bill under his breath.
“Bill!” scolded Claire. “That was inappropriate…albeit funny and true.” When the laughter died down she went on. “Anyway, she felt that the best person to play opposite her was…her.”
Kate looked around the room suspiciously. “Are you pulling my leg?”
“Oh, would that we were,” said Bill, “but as God is my witness, this is all totally true. So, basically, we all thought that we would be sitting here this week with Hamilton at the head of the table, telling us to find a believable way to introduce Destiny’s somehow younger—and no doubt thinner—twin sister into our story line.”
“I didn’t sleep for three days,” said Claire. “I can’t get one Sapphire dressed—can you imagine what it would have been like with two?”
Mike leaned across Claire to pat Kate on the shoulder. “So, needless to say, we are all quite happy to have you back.”
“Don’t you mean to have both of us back?” asked Kate.
“What do you mean ‘both’ of you?” asked Claire.
“Well, me and my twin sister, Dramatica, of course. She is a foot and a half taller than I am, and she is an African-American trapeze artist. But I don’t see that posing a problem for production, do any of you?”
The room broke into an exaggeratedly earnest chorus of “Oh no—not a bit—shouldn’t be a problem at all—we’ll get right on that!” before breaking into a loud and genuine refrain of laughter.
Two hours later, Paige threw a Chanel lip liner down on the makeup counter in mock disgust. “I am very happy that you had a good morning, but if you don’t stop talking long enough for me to do your lips, we are all going to have a very long afternoon.”
“Sorry,” said Kate, clamping her mouth shut and holding perfectly still. Paige picked up the liner again and was just beginning to trace Kate’s lower lip when Kate blurted out, “But it was just so cool Paige. I mean, I felt like I really belonged, like I really had a lot to contribute—”
“What you have,” interrupted Paige, “is a long red line on your chin because you can’t seem to stop moving! Man, this is like trying to work on a toddler!”
“Sorry,” said Kate again, but it was clear from her silly grin and her joyfully swinging legs that she was far more excited than sorry.
Paige smiled indulgently. “Okay. I am not going to ruin your fun for a pretty lip line. If you decide you want to have a visible mouth for this scene, you can slap on some lipstick before they roll.” She plopped into the chair next to Kate’s. “Why don’t you just go ahead and finish telling me about your morning, and if anyone yells at us, I’ll just tell them that the producer said it was okay.”
“I’m pretty much done, though, right?” asked Kate, checking herself out in the mirror. “I don’t want to hold anyone up.”
“Oh, now you’re worried?” teased Paige.
“I know, I know…I’m not quite myself today, am I?”
“You are, actually,” said Paige. “You are just a very happy, confident version of yourself…with very pale lips.”
“I do feel good. I really do. I didn’t realize how much support I had here. I mean, I always knew you were on my side, but…” Kate stopped midsentence and looked at Paige intently.
“What?” asked Paige.
“Are you sure this is okay for you? You were so excited about our design business and now here we are, back at Generations.”
“Oh god, yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Kate, I meant what I said to you. It is so much better for me to work a little bit longer and save some more money. I had always planned on opening the shop when I was a little bit closer to retirement, but when the shit hit the fan here, I guess I sort of saw it as a sign.”
“It was a sign—a sign that the inmates were running the asylum.”
“Yeah, and the craziest part is that they didn’t get fired—they got promoted to a better asylum.”
“Well, that’s Hollywood for you,” said Kate.
“You should talk,” said Paige. “Your life has pretty much turned into a Hollywood screenplay, Madam Producer.”
Kate sighed. “No—if this were a screenplay, Michael would come through the door right now with a brilliant explanation and a bouquet of flowers and pull me into a deep, hard-to-watch tongue kiss.”
“Ugh.” Paige wrinkled her nose in disgust. “You had me right up until the end.”
Kate batted her eyes. “And you had me at ‘hello.’”
Paige grabbed a towel off the counter and threw it, narrowly missing Kate’s face. “Hey!” said Kate. “Watch the face. The face is the fortune!”
Paige shook her head. “No, the girl is the crazy.”
A knock at the door froze both women in their tracks. Michael?
“Come in,” called Paige.
The door opened abnormally and painfully slowly to reveal…Sam.
“Hello, ladies!” he said cheerfully.
“Hey,” they said together, with very little enthusiasm.
“Uh-oh,” he said. “Have things gone south already? We haven’t even started yet.”
“Love troubles,” said Paige.
Kate shot her a look. “More like friends who can’t keep their mouths shut troubles.”
“Oopsie,” said Paige.
Sam cut in. “I didn’t hear a thing. I just came in to say welcome back.”
“Thank you.”
“You are welcome. Also, we are twenty minutes away from your scene, and when you are done with your actress duties, Claire has some wardrobe questions for the producer part of you.”
“Thank you from both of my parts.”
“You are welcome to both of your parts,” said Sam, heading out. He paused briefly before closing the door to say, “It really is great to have you back. You were missed.”
“Thank you, Sam. That means a lot to me,” said Kate right before the door clicked shut. “It’s not a tongue kiss, but I guess it will have to do.”
“A: gross, and B: I bet if you asked really nicely, Sam would give you a tongue kiss.”
“Okay, I can see I need to explain something to you.” Kate tried for a professorial expression.
“Are you constipated?” asked Paige.
“No, I’m being serious.”
“Huh. You look constipated.”
“Can I please get to my point?”
“Okay…if you’re sure you don’t need to use the bathroom first.”
“Stop it!” shouted Kate, silencing Paige. After a few moments of silence she said, “Of course, now I can’t remember what I was going to say.” Paige giggled. “Oh, now I remember! I was going to explain to you that even though you, as a recovering slut—”
“Hey! Hold on a minute!”
“What?”
Paige shrugged. “Nothing. Carry on.”
“Thank you. My point is, regardless of what you learned at slut school, it is important to be selective about whom you tongue kiss.”
“Well, nobody is going to kiss you if you keep saying ‘whom.’”
“Good grammar is very sexy.”
“Oh yeah, I think I read that in Hustler.”
“See? Slut,” Kate said, pointing at Paige.
Paige pointed back. “See? Crazy.”
Kate laughed. “Hey, if the producer in me eats an omelet, will the actress in me still fit into her costumes?”
“Well,” said Paige, getting up and heading
to the door, “if she doesn’t, the producer can just order new costumes.”
“You’re right,” said Kate. “That kicks ass.”
“Yes, it does. You know, the producer can also approve a raise for the star’s makeup artist.”
“Really? Even the slutty ones?”
“Especially the slutty ones.”
Paige and Kate continued their slutty debate all the way to the catering truck, where they each had a huge piece of cheesy frittata and a cinnamon roll on the side. Constipation be damned.
Kate’s scene was filmed without a hitch. She was so intent on learning more about what each person on set was doing that her acting was completely relaxed and natural. She felt as if her eyes had been opened or at least turned outward for the first time in years. Suddenly, she was aware of how constricted she used to feel by all of the eyes trained on her. Now, thanks to her new producer point of view, she could see that the time spent watching her do her work was no more or less than the time spent looking at the flags placed by the grips or the lights placed by the electricians. It was a team and she was one member. Well, one member who now wore two hats.
Donning her producer hat, she headed over to the wardrobe trailer to meet with Claire about the next episode’s costumes. She was pretty sure that her character, Melania, wouldn’t be wearing lingerie anytime soon.
Jerry met her outside the trailer and held the door open for her. “After you, Madam Producer.”
“Thank you, Jerry.”
“You’re welcome,” said Jerry, without his usual simpering obsequiousness.
“You know, Jerry, you seem calmer. Are you taking copious amounts of Valium?”
Laughing, he said, “No, no Valium. I guess I just feel more relaxed around you now that you are a fellow member of the production team. I tend to get a little bit nervous around actresses.”
“No! You?” teased Kate.
“Yes, me,” said Jerry, nodding earnestly and proving that even though he was less nervous, he still had no ability to discern sarcasm. “Sapphire always sent me into a total tailspin.”
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