by Diana Palmer
“Ren!” She arched up toward him, the quick, hard rhythm of his hips creating a tension in her that was frightening. She clung to him, begged him not to stop, pleaded with him to end it, end it, end it... And then she arched and begged him to never end it.
He drove into her, holding nothing back. He was as helpless as she was, anguish arching him down into her as he sought an end to the tension that was breaking his body in two. He almost had it, almost, almost, almost! He ground his hips down into hers, arched his back and cried out, sobbing as fulfillment burst inside him, inside her, and he convulsed over and over again in a maelstrom of pleasure unlike anything he’d experienced in his life.
She felt him at the moment he found pleasure. She found her own, almost at the same instant. She cried out with the shock of it. There were no words that could describe the throbbing, almost painful pleasure that racked her body. She was dying in the heat of it. She shuddered and shuddered, her body echoing the satisfaction it was giving him. She’d been afraid that it would hurt. She couldn’t feel pain. The pleasure was so high, so stabbing, so complete that she existed for a few endless seconds as only a part of Ren. Then, so quickly, the pleasure left. She shivered, moved frantically, trying to get it back.
“Shh,” he whispered. His hips moved gently against hers. The tiny movement fulfilled her all over again. He watched it happen, smiled with delight as her face contorted, as she sobbed, arching up to him, shuddering each time the climax came back.
But soon, he stilled and forced her to also.
“You’ll get sore,” he whispered tenderly, smiling. His mouth smoothed all over her face, drawing the tears into it, soothing her with his hands as they slid under her, against the scars on her back that didn’t seem to bother him at all.
“I never thought,” she began. “I never dreamed...” She shivered. “It was like dying, the pleasure was so strong.”
“Yes.” He kissed her eyelids.
She opened her eyes and searched his lean face above her. “I was afraid, at first.”
“So was I, honey.”
“You were?” she replied, surprised.
“You were a virgin,” he replied softly. “I was afraid that I might hurt you. It’s been so long for me, I was afraid I’d lose control and scare you.”
She reached up, tracing his face with her fingertips. “I didn’t think it would be so...” She managed a smile. “I can’t find the words.”
“Poets have been trying for generations,” he mused. “Nobody can find the words.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “Lie still. If we overdid it, this may be uncomfortable.”
He began to lift away from her. She winced. He winced, too, but he rolled over onto his back with a long sigh. “Sorry,” he said.
“It’s okay. I couldn’t stop.”
He turned his head and watched her, watching him. “Am I shocking?”
“Well, yes. Sort of,” she said. “We study anatomy, in order to paint lifelike portraits. So I know basic stuff, like where the muscles attach and where other...places are.” Her eyes found him. She sighed. “But you don’t look like any of those pictures,” she added shyly. “You look like some of the Greek statues they have in museums. Only better.”
He chuckled. “Don’t do that. I’ll have ego issues.”
“I don’t mind.” She moved close to him, glorying in the feel of skin on skin. She snuggled close. “Now I’m sleepy again.”
“Me, too. We’ll sleep for a while, then we’ll go exploring some more.”
“I want to explore you some more,” she murmured. “But I’m...”
“Sore,” he finished for her. He chuckled. “It’s okay. I can live on today for a long time.”
“So can I.” She hesitated. “Ren? Are you sore, too?”
He laughed. “A little.” He turned his head and looked down at her. “I enjoyed getting that way, Meredith,” he said when she looked guilty. “And we have all our lives to make up for lost time.”
She smiled tenderly. “Okay.”
He drew her close, pillowing her head on his shoulder. “I forgot to ask if you wanted me to use something.”
“Use something?”
“Birth control,” he said drowsily. “So that I didn’t make you pregnant.”
She drew in a long, delighted breath. “My goodness!”
He lifted his head to look into her eyes. She was beaming. Radiant. He chuckled softly. “Okay. I guess you’re old enough.”
“I’m definitely old enough,” she said pertly. “Besides, if we have enough kids, the family ranch won’t go on the market the minute we die.”
He burst out laughing. “No. I guess that’s a valid reason to have kids.”
“Of course it is.”
“You haven’t really lived, sweetheart,” he said after a minute. “You’ve been a virtual prisoner at Graylings. Don’t you want to see some of the world before you’re tied down with kids?”
“I am seeing the world,” she returned. “We’re in a very foreign country, and we’ll see several more on the way home.” She sat up, proud in her nudity, loving the way his hands explored her. “I’m a homebody,” she added gently. “I have no great desire to travel or found a business empire or even become a famous artist. I just want to live on the ranch with you and make a home for you. A real home,” she added quietly.
He ground his teeth together, trying not to show what he was feeling. He’d been an outsider most of his life. He loved Randall, but they’d never truly been a family, not with Ren ignoring their mother all of these years. Meredith had changed all that, brightened the dark corners of his life, made him happy. He couldn’t remember ever being really happy before, not even when he thought he loved Angie.
“I’m sorry, I guess I’m being pushy...” Her voice trailed off, her confidence waning when he didn’t answer her.
He drew her back down into his arms and turned, so that he was propped over her. “I’ve never had a real home,” he said huskily. “Delsey tried to make one for me at Skyhorn, but it was a shaky one, at best.” He smoothed back her disheveled blond hair. “I love the way you look right now,” he whispered huskily. “Disheveled and disturbed, because of me.”
She smiled up at him, tracing his stubborn chin. “You disheveled me,” she said.
“Emphatically,” he mused. He traced her swollen breasts, lingering on the taut little mauve peaks. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Inside and out.”
“That’s nice flattery,” she teased.
“It’s not.” He bent to kiss her breasts. “I want to make a home with you. I want babies. I just want to be sure that you won’t regret not having some freedom, too.”
“Freedom is just a word.” She sighed. “People who are truly free don’t want roots or commitment.” She smiled. “I want a real life, one with roots and stability and babies. That’s freedom to me.”
His fingers tangled in her long hair. “I can be difficult.”
“So can I,” she returned. She linked her arms around his neck. Her expression became serious. “I love you so much, Ren,” she whispered, surprised at the emotion she saw in his eyes as she spoke. “More than anything in the world.”
Ruddy color stained his high cheekbones. His jaw tensed as he looked at her, sketched her with his eyes, delighting in her beauty, in the tenderness she radiated. He leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m not sure I’ve ever said the words to anyone,” he whispered huskily. “But I...feel them, when I look at you, when I hold you.” He drew her against him, enfolding her so close that she could feel every inch of him against her. “Is that enough for you?”
She felt the joy rise up in her like a fountain overflowing. She laughed softly and clung to him, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Oh, Ren! Yes, it’s enough. It’s more than enough!”
He f
elt the moisture and lifted his head. “Why are you crying?”
“I was afraid you only wanted to sleep with me,” she blurted out.
He gave her a sardonic look. “No man is crazy enough to marry a woman just for one night in her bed,” he mused. “Especially not a virgin.”
She stared at him. “Oh.”
“You don’t know beans about men. I love it.” He grinned. He bent and kissed her hungrily. “Why do you think I was so out of bounds with you the night of the party?” he asked. “I knew that I’d die for you. I was fighting what I felt, because I was afraid. After that business with Angie, I got gun-shy. You seemed too good to be true.”
“Did I?” she asked, breathless.
“Then Randall kept telling me that you were his woman.” He grimaced. “I thought he meant you really were his, in every way. I was mad as hell. I felt trapped. I never meant to hurt you so badly,” he added, regret in his tone, in his black eyes. “I felt like kicking myself when they told me you were trying to walk in the snow to the front gate, to get away from me. That was when I really knew what I felt. And it was too late.”
“I thought you hated me,” she confessed.
“I hated myself. You were in danger already, and I let you put yourself in harm’s way. The killer had access to my land, and I didn’t know it. He could have shot you where you stood,” he added huskily. “I thought about that, after you left.” His eyes closed. “I would have died with you, Meredith. Because nothing I have in the world would ever make up for your loss.”
“Oh, Ren!” She curled against him, her arms tight around his neck. “That’s exactly how I feel!”
He hugged her close. “Paul came to get you. He told me the truth, about what you went through at home. I got so drunk after you left,” he said, sighing. “I never hated myself so much.”
“I tried to hate you, too. But I never could. I went home in so much pain!”
“You’ll never know how I felt when Randall came by to tell me you’d been hospitalized. I went crazy. I flew straight to Jacobsville.” He made a face. “I thought Sari was going to have me on toast. She was furious. But when she saw how torn up I was, she backed down a little. She loves you very much.”
“We’re sisters,” Merrie said gently. “All we had was each other, in that torment of a life. I love her just as much.”
He wrapped her up against him. “We had a rocky start,” he said. “But things are going to be better now. For both of us.”
She drew in a drowsy breath, so happy that she could have died of it. “I just hope that Tony Garza was right, about the killer. I don’t want to die and leave you. Not now, when we’ve just really found each other.”
His arms tightened. “He promised. I don’t know him, but Mikey does. He said that Tony has more power than we realize, and that if he makes a promise, he keeps it.”
“I feel a little better,” she said. “It’s scary, knowing somebody wants you dead. They said that Leeds man who hired him is having a hard time in jail. He’s not all there, and he loved his mother so much. Our father killed her. It’s a mess.”
“Things will work out the way they’re meant to, in spite of us,” he said with a smile in his voice. “I’m happy not to have to be worried about losing you every minute of the day.”
“Me, too.” She sighed. “I’m sleepy.”
“We’ll drowse for a bit. Comfy?”
“So comfy!” she enthused.
He chuckled and kissed her soft hair.
* * *
THEY WERE LIKE children together, on fire with love of life and each other. Ren took her into the shower with him and bathed her, then coaxed her to do the same to him. They held hands on the way downstairs, in the car, while they were being tourists walking around the most exciting city in Africa.
Every day, Merrie fell more in love with her husband. He lost his constant worried look and began to relax. They shopped and strolled and rode camels and went to the bazaar and spent the rest of the day looking at expensive rugs, although he made her rest often. She was still weak and sore from her recent trouble. They chose carpets that they both liked and had them shipped back to Wyoming. Along with the rugs, Merrie found beautiful embroidered caftans for herself and Sari and Delsey and Mandy, and even Ren’s little mother, and had them sent home, as well.
“It’s been the most exciting, wonderful trip I ever took,” Merrie told Ren as they were on the way to the airport.
He squeezed her hand. “Yes, it has for me, too.” He smiled at her. “We’ll come back again.”
“I’d love that,” she said, and meant it.
* * *
THEY WENT TO Texas first, to see how things were going at Graylings.
Cousin Mikey was sitting in the dining room with Paul and Sari and Mandy when they walked in.
“What, no Avengers?” Merrie teased as she hugged her sister and Paul.
“No need,” Mikey said, chuckling. “You’re in the clear, baby doll,” he told Merrie with a gentle smile. “Tony sent word back from Jersey that the situation was taken care of.”
“I’m so glad.” Merrie sighed. “It was nice of the killer to agree to give up the contract.”
“Sure it was.” Mikey didn’t meet her eyes. He glanced at his watch. “I’ll miss my flight!”
“You can fly home in the family jet,” Paul said. “You’re family, right?”
Mikey chuckled. “I guess I am.” He pursed his lips as he looked at the newlyweds. “No need to ask if you two had fun.”
“Morocco was extraordinary!” Merrie said. “I’m going to paint it!”
Ren pulled her close. “We’ll order more paints and canvases,” he assured her.
“Don’t be a stranger,” Paul told Mikey.
He shrugged. “I might visit occasionally,” he mused. He looked at Merrie and grinned. “I hear Tony’s telling people he’s got an adopted daughter who paints like one of his famous ancestors.”
She grinned. “That’s sweet of him.”
Mikey tapped her nose. “Just don’t forget that people are what they are, kid,” he replied. “Don’t expect Tony to sing in the church choir and help little old ladies across streets.”
“He may be a bad man, but there’s some good in everyone,” she reminded him.
“More good in some people than in others,” he added with a sly look at Paul, who returned the look.
“Come tell us all about the trip!” Sari enthused.
“I’ll say goodbye, for now.” Mikey kissed Merrie’s cheek, and Sari’s, and shook hands with the men. “I’ll head for the airport.”
“The limo will take you,” Paul said.
“Thanks again,” Merrie said.
Mikey smiled. “You’re a nice kid,” he replied. “Don’t let life disillusion you too much.”
“I’ll try,” she promised. “You try not to be so gloomy.”
He shrugged. “Leopards don’t change their spots. See you.”
“What did he mean, about leopards?” Merrie asked when they were drinking coffee and eating Mandy’s sour cream pound cake.
Paul sighed. “There’s been a development. Sort of.”
Merrie’s eyebrows arched.
One side of Paul’s chiseled mouth pulled down. “They found the contract killer.”
“They did?” Merrie exclaimed. “Are they going to prosecute him? Will I have to testify?”
“He won’t be arrested,” Paul said. “See, they found him, but he’s in an oil drum in a river in Jersey.”
Merrie’s mouth fell open. Ren winced.
“Nobody knows who did it,” Paul assured her. “We can speculate, but we’ll never really know.”
“Tony?” Merrie asked slowly.
Paul shrugged. “Anybody’s guess. If I
were guessing, however, I’d wonder if the contract man decided his reputation was more important than Tony’s orders. You don’t say no to Tony.”
Merrie felt faint. “You mean, the man was going to kill me anyway, to fulfill his contract, so that his reputation would remain intact?”
“That’s what Mikey thinks,” Paul replied. “He doesn’t know,” he was quick to add. “It’s an educated guess.”
Merrie touched her own throat. “I felt so safe...”
“You were always safe,” Paul said. He looked at his watch. “That reminds me. Since I sent Mikey in the limo, I’ll have to drive over to the airport in San Antonio. The plane should be landing soon.”
“Plane? What plane?” Merrie asked.
“The Avengers are due back from Morocco. Well,” he added when he saw Merrie and Ren’s expressions, “we didn’t dare take a chance without knowing for sure where the hit man was, right? So Rogers and Barton went on your honeymoon with you. They were very discreet,” he added with a grin. “They stayed in the same hotel, but they were wearing robes and sporting fake beards. Since they both speak Berber, they blended right in!”
“Good grief.” Merrie burst out laughing.
Ren grinned. “I never spotted them. Good camouflage.”
“They kept their distance. But if anyone had threatened you, they’d have found him. Even in Morocco.”
Merrie leaned against Ren’s shoulder and smiled. “They, and my adopted dad, have taken good care of me.” She was grateful, although she spared a single regret for the contract killer who was dead. On the other hand, if he was still alive, there would have been other assignments, other poor victims. In the end, she felt, it was God’s will. However he’d died.
“Taking care of you will be my job from now on,” Ren said softly.
“So it will,” she teased.
* * *
REN’S MOTHER HAD her surgery. The surgeon told Randall and Ren that he’d removed every trace of cancer. A few weeks of radiation and chemo, and she’d be good as new.
Ren and Merrie stayed with her in Chicago while Randall took care of Skyhorn business and visited when he could.
“You’re turning into a fine rancher,” Ren teased, hugging his brother while they waited for their mother to come out to the waiting room, after undergoing her last treatments. “I’m proud of you.”