by Tom Stoppard
(Valentine and Hannah watch Bernard struggling into his jacket and adjusting his clothes. Septimus, holding Thomasina, kisses her on the mouth. The waltz lesson
pauses. She looks at him. He kisses her again, in earnest. She puts her arms round
him.)
Thomasina: Septimus ...
(Septimus hushes her. They start to dance again, with the slight awkwardness of a
lesson. Chloe bursts in from the garden.)
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Chloe: I'll kill her! I'll kill her!
Bernard: Oh dear.
Valentine: What the hell is it, Chlo?
Chloe: (Venomously) Mummy!
Bernard: (To Valentine) Your mother caught us in that cottage.
Chloe: She snooped!
Bernard: I don't think so. She was rescuing a theodolite.
Chloe: I'll come with you, Bernard.
Bernard: No, you bloody won't.
Chloe: Don't you want me to?
Bernard: Of course not. What for? (To Valentine) I'm sorry.
Chloe: (In furious tears) What are you saying sorry to him for?
Bernard: Sorry to you too. Sorry one and all. Sorry, Hannah - sorry, Hermione -
sorry, Byron - sorry, sorry, sorry, now can I go?
(Chloe stands stiffly, tearfully.)
Chloe: Well...
(Thomasina and Septimus dance.)
Hannah: What a bastard you are, Bernard.
(Chloe rounds on her.)
Chloe: And you mind your own business! What do you know about anything?
Hannah: Nothing.
Chloe: (to Bernard) It was worth it, though, wasn't it?
Bernard: It was wonderful.
(Chloe goes out, through the garden door, towards the party.)
Hannah: (An echo) Nothing.
Valentine: Well, you shit. I'd drive you but I'm a bit sloshed.
(Valentine follows Chloe out and can be heard outside calling 'Chlo!Chlo!')
Bernard: A scrape.
Hannah: Oh . .. (she gives up) Bernard!
Bernard: I look forward to The Genius of the Place. I hope you find your hermit. I
think out front is the safest. (He opens the door cautiously and looks out.)
Hannah: Actually, I've got a good idea who he was, but I can't prove it.
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Bernard: (With a carefree expansive gesture) Publish!
(He goes out closing the door. Septimus and Thomasina are now waltzing freely.
She is delighted with herself)
Thomasina: Am I waltzing?
Septimus: Yes, my lady.
(He gives her a final twirl, bringing them to the table where he bows to her. He
lights her candlestick. Hannah goes to sit at the table, playing truant from the
party. She pours herself more wine. The table contains the geometrical solids, the
computer, decanter, glasses, tea mug, Hannah's research books, Septimus's books,
the two portfolios, Thomasina's candlestick, the oil lamp, the dahlia, the Sunday
papers. . . Gus appears in the doorway. It takes a moment to realize that he is not
Lord Augustus; perhaps not until Hannah sees him.)
Septimus: Take your essay, I have given it an alpha in blind faith. Be careful with the flame.
Thomasina: I will wait for you to come.
Septimus: I cannot.
Thomasina: You may.
Septimus: I may not.
Thomasina: You must.
Septimus: I will not.
(She puts the candlestick and the essay on the table.)
Thomasina: Then I will not go. Once more, for my birthday.
(Septimus and Thomasina start to waltz together.Gus comes forward, startling
Hannah.)
Hannah: Oh! - you made me jump. (Gus looks resplendent. He is carrying an old
and somewhat tattered stiff-backed folio fastened with a tape tied in a bow. He
comes to Hannah and thrusts this present at her.) Oh... (She lays the folio down on the table and starts to open it. It consists only of two boards hinged, containing
Thomasina's drawing.)
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'Septimus holding Plautus'. (To Gus) I was looking for that. Thank you. (Gus nods several times. Then, rather awkwardly, he bows to her. A Regency bow, an
invitation to dance.) Oh, dear, I don't really . . . (After a moments hesitation, she
gets up and they hold each other, keeping a decorous distance between them, and
start to dance, rather awkwardly. Septimus and Thomasina continue to dance,
fluently, to the piano.)
END
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