by Toni Blake
That was true—he had pretty much barged his way in. “But I…offered him iced tea. I made small talk with him.” She cringed. “And sure, I tried to act belligerent and irritated, but I didn’t even argue when he said he might come back.”
Sue Ann bit her lip, looking pensive. “Was he…scary about that? Threatening?”
“Not really.” She sucked in her breath, remembering. “He sort of…kissed me good-bye.”
Sue Ann blinked. “What kind of kiss?”
Jenny tried to explain. “Just a soft, tiny, little one. I barely felt it.” Except for the fact that it vibrated all through me.
“Holy crap.”
“Yeah, it kind of confused me, too.”
At this, Sue Ann sat up a bit taller, suddenly looking mischievous. “Maybe this means you’ll get to have more sex with him.”
And Jenny gasped. “No way! I mean, really—no way.”
“Why?”
Given the discussion of the last few minutes, she couldn’t believe Sue Ann had to ask. “Um, because he might be a criminal, as you just so aptly pointed out? Because I don’t even know him? Because even if he didn’t act totally scary last night, he still is?” She hadn’t been planning to have sex with him again anyway, but after being reminded that he was keeping some big, bad secret from her on his side of the lake—it was out of the question.
“And did any of those things stop you in the woods?” Sue Ann asked.
Jenny replied by pointing a threatening finger at her friend. “I was in a bad mood and he pissed me off.”
“And you really taught him a lesson by riding him to orgasm the way you did.”
Jenny let her mouth drop open and her eyes go wide. “Stop it already.” Then she motioned toward the lake, where Sophie was still having a good time swimming around by herself. “There’s a five-year-old present.”
Sue Ann swiped a hand down through the air. “She doesn’t know what orgasm means.”
“Well, she will soon if you keep discussing it like it’s the weather.”
“Weather, shmether.” Sue Ann at least lowered her voice again, though. “Despite my misgivings about this guy, it was still mind-blowing sex, which counts for a lot in life. So…why not consider having more of it if the opportunity arises?”
Jenny pursed her lips. “Mind-blowing or not, what happened the other night was a…weird, crazy aberration in my life. It was…freeing, momentarily. But then it was also kind of scary. Because I lost my telescope. And because now I have to go slithering over to Crestview wearing dark sunglasses to make sure I’m still healthy. And because what do we really know about Mick Brody—besides that he comes from a scary family and has some reason he doesn’t want me on his side of the lake? Plus, as you well know, I hold sex as a special thing. I don’t do it with strangers for mere physical pleasure.”
“Unless they really piss you off.”
Jenny rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair, ready to end this conversation. “Will you pass me a Diet Coke from the cooler?”
“Fine, be that way,” Sue Ann said lightly, and after they’d both popped the tops on their cans, only music from the radio mixed with the sounds of Sophie splashing.
Though as Jenny lay soaking up the sun beneath cotton clouds floating in the expanse of blue above, she couldn’t stop remembering the way Mick had kissed her last night. She wouldn’t have dreamed he could deliver a kiss so soft, and what she hadn’t dared tell Sue Ann was that it had tingled on her lips long after he’d gone. It had made her wish she’d kissed him during sex like she’d wanted. And it had made her less afraid of him.
That was stupid, though—she knew that now. She should still be plenty afraid. He was still a guy who might have robbed a liquor store and God knew what else. He was still a guy who had a secret he wouldn’t tell her, and she knew it couldn’t be good, since secrets seldom were.
And that was why she absolutely, positively would not have sex with him again, no matter what happened. It was the only sensible way to play this.
And yet, as the scent of Coppertone and the sound of Aerosmith’s “Livin’ On the Edge” took her back to her youth, she glanced across the lake toward those woods, half-frightened of when he would come back and what his secrets were—and half-frightened that he wouldn’t come back and that the mystery of Mick Brody would be just that, forever. A mystery.
Walking into Miss Ellie’s garden on her dad’s arm felt a little surreal. Festive yellow streamers festooned tables spread with food as well as the crisp white gazebo in the center of the garden, and colorful balloons sprang up here and there. But, of course, it was mostly the people she noticed.
She knew all the faces, only they were older now. Except, that is, for the children running and playing among the flowers and shrubbery—and it felt strange to realize she’d moved away so long ago that these little kids were now more a part of the community than she was. And the fact that she was literally on her dad’s arm felt…well, a little pathetic under the circumstances.
It was mere seconds before people started recognizing her, saying hello. Caroline Meeks, another neighbor from up the road, and Reverend Marsh, who had officiated at her mother’s funeral and wed her to Terrence. Moments later, as she handed off a plate of lemon bars wrapped in cellophane to Linda Sue, one of Miss Ellie’s daughters, she heard herself explaining, ever-so-vaguely, as she had to the others who’d greeted her, “Just here to visit with Dad for the summer.”
Ugh, maybe she’d been wrong in what she’d told Mick—maybe she did lie.
And what was wrong with these people? Had the ladies from the mah-jongg party not done their social duty by spreading the word that Jenny Tolliver was indeed Jenny Tolliver again, no longer Mrs. Terrence Randall?
After a few long minutes of greeting still more Destinyites and complimenting dresses and saying things like, “Could you ask for a prettier day for a party?” she was finally rescued by a tap on the shoulder from Sue Ann.
She turned to find her best friend in a pretty white eyelet dress, saying, “Fabu frock, Jen,” about Jenny’s pink-and-white-print sundress. Jeff stood behind her, handsome and clean-cut as ever, holding Sophie—in an equally lovely dress—on one hip.
“Good to see you, Jen,” Sue Ann’s husband said with a broad smile, and she loved him all the more for not mentioning anything about her being back in town for the summer, or why.
“You, too. And hey, thanks for letting the girls hang out with me yesterday, on a Saturday. It was fun.”
He shrugged. “No thanks necessary. I managed to entertain myself just fine on the golf course.”
Jeff had been a year ahead of them in school and now did administrative work for the highway department. He still looked like the varsity basketball player he’d once been, with trim, light brown hair, and the shirt and tie he wore told Jenny they’d just come from church.
And despite herself, she found herself envying Sue Ann a little. She had a perfect family and a perfect Destiny life. They lived in a nice Victorian in town that they’d renovated themselves, and Sue Ann worked part-time at Destiny Properties, also doing admin work. They served on community committees, Jeff was thinking of running for town council in the fall, and as Jenny looked at them standing there smiling and greeting people, she realized that they had…well, something like the life she’d had with Terrence, except that they were probably happier. Truly, deeply happy.
With Terrence, she was beginning to realize, she’d felt…content, but Sue Ann was supremely happy with her life. And Sue Ann could act as fascinated with the Brody incident as she wanted, but Jenny knew good and well from little things Sue Ann had said that she was still in mad, passionate love with Jeff.
“Jenny Tolliver, is it really you?”
Jenny spun toward the friendly voice to see her old friend, Tessa Sheridan—and she couldn’t hold in a small squeal. Tessa, a dainty blonde, didn’t look much different than when Jenny had last seen her, the summer before college. Back in high school, Jen
ny and Sue Ann had hung out with Tessa and her two best friends, Rachel and Amy—but Jenny hadn’t kept in touch with them the way she had with Sue Ann.
After giving Tessa a hug, she drew back to give her friend a thorough once-over, taking in her long, flowing skirt and gauzy blouse—inexplicably pleased to see that not every female in Destiny dressed exactly the same. “I had no idea you were back in town,” Jenny said.
Tessa looked surprised. “Sue Ann didn’t tell you?”
No, we’ve been too busy discussing the illicit sex I’ve been having in the woods. “Um, I guess she forgot to mention. How long have you been back?”
Tessa rolled her eyes confidingly, then lowered her voice. “Too long,” she replied, then let out a small laugh. And in response to Jenny’s unspoken question, she added, “A lengthy story for another time. But the upshot is—after years in the city, I have to admit that Destiny holds a…certain charm.”
Looking around the garden party, Jenny couldn’t really deny that—but she was still surprised to hear it from adventurous Tessa.
Just then, Amy bounded up between them, naturally curly hair bouncing around her face, eyes bright and wide as ever. “Oh my God—Jenny! It’s so good to see you!”
Jenny felt almost overwhelmed—so many old, familiar faces, and now suddenly both Tessa and Amy were here. After giving the always-sweet Amy a hug, she said, “All we need to make the party complete is Rachel.”
In reply, Tessa and Amy exchanged looks and Tessa said, “Then you’ll have to go with us to Chicago in September to see her. She hasn’t been back to Destiny in the fourteen years since we graduated from high school.”
Somehow, though, Jenny wasn’t surprised. She remembered Rachel wanting to leave Destiny far behind, and it sounded like she’d succeeded. “Well, thanks for the invitation, but you’ll have to give her a long-distance hello for me instead. So what is she up to these days?”
Amy sighed enviously. “She’s in Italy right now. She’s traveled all over the place.”
“She’s an advertising bigwig,” Tessa said. “She runs herself ragged if you ask me, but she’s as sassy and full of energy as ever, so I guess that kind of life suits her.”
“Tessa and I take a trip to see her every fall, and we can barely keep up with her the whole time we’re there,” Amy added. “But I guess a small-town way of life has always just been more my cup of tea.”
For the first time, Jenny had a chance to wonder what Amy did for a living—or if maybe she was a homemaker with kids, a role that Jenny thought would probably make Amy happy. “So what have you been doing with yourself?” she asked.
Amy beamed proudly. “You haven’t heard? I own the bookstore in town—Under the Covers.”
Ah—while it wasn’t what she’d predicted, it was another bit of news that didn’t surprise Jenny at all. Amy had always wanted to be a librarian when she grew up—and it sounded like she’d come close. “Wow—color me delighted to hear Destiny now has a bookstore.”
“Times, they are a changin’,” Tessa quipped, adding, “I work there part-time, so stop in and say hello.”
Jenny was still talking with Tessa and Amy when she felt two hands clasp her own. She looked up to see Miss Ellie’s other daughter, Mary Katherine, who had been the town librarian Jenny’s whole life but—according to her father—had just recently retired. Jenny turned to the older lady with a smile. “It’s great to see you, Mary Katherine,” she said, truly pleased.
They exchanged pleasantries for a moment until Mary Katherine said, “Now you must come over and say hello to Mother. She doesn’t get around so well anymore, so we’ve got her sitting in the shade in the gazebo, and she’s dying to see you.”
After promising her old friends they’d get together soon, Jenny let Mary Katherine lead her by the hand up into the gazebo, complete with gingerbread trim, to find Miss Ellie seated in a patio chair in a yellow dress sprinkled with blue flowers, looking as bright and chipper as a woman her age could.
Her aged eyes lit up when she spotted Jenny. “Why, as I live and breathe, if it isn’t sweet Jenny Tolliver.”
Jenny had mentally braced herself for all the sweet and good comments, and especially given that this was beloved Miss Ellie, she let it roll off her back. She took Miss Ellie’s withered hands in hers, having been reminded by other greetings, both here and at the mahjongg party, that this was how Destiny ladies expressed affection. “Hello, Miss Ellie—it’s so wonderful to see you again.”
“What’s that you say, dear?”
Oh my—poor Miss Ellie’s hearing must be starting to go. Jenny leaned closer and spoke louder. “Hello, Miss Ellie—it’s wonderful to see you again.”
Miss Ellie nodded in understanding. “You, too, sweetheart—you, too.” Miss Ellie still held one of her hands and now squeezed it. “Your father tells me you’re here for the summer.”
“That’s right,” she said, nodding. She’d forgotten to speak up, but Miss Ellie seemed to understand.
It was then that Miss Ellie began to peek around behind Jenny, and then around the gazebo in general, as if looking for someone.
“What is it, Miss Ellie?” Jenny asked, remembering to project her voice this time. “Can I get you something?”
“No, no—I was just looking for your Terrence. Where is he?”
Oh dear.
On one hand, it would be easier to fib to Miss Ellie than a lot of people. Jenny could just say he was busy today and it would suffice—and probably not technically be a lie. But on the other hand…hell, why not just get over this madness and tell it like it is. So, for the first time ever, Jenny didn’t mince words or try to choose the best way to say it. “We’re divorced.”
Miss Ellie lifted a palm to cup her ear. “What’s that, dear? My hearing’s gone bad. Can you say again?”
Jenny took a deep breath and leaned nearer, but didn’t raise her voice overmuch. “He’s gone, Miss Ellie. We’re no longer together.”
Miss Ellie knit her brows. “Oh my—where did he go?”
Oh crap. Hell. Just say it. “He…left me for a twenty-one-year-old chippy.”
“What’s that, Jenny? I’m afraid I still can’t hear you.”
Jenny raised her voice, just slightly. “I said that he left me for a twenty-one-year-old.”
But Miss Ellie still clearly wasn’t hearing her, squinting and shaking her head, and cupping her ear more tightly. “Again, dear?”
So Jenny tried again. “I said that Terrence left me for a twenty-one-year-old chippy!”
When a hush fell over the garden, she realized that anyone in Destiny who hadn’t known why she was here before definitely knew now. She met Sue Ann’s gaze across the garden, and her friend delivered a tight-lipped smile, as if to say, Oh well, at least it’s out now. She caught looks of sympathy from Tessa and Amy, as well.
Then, at a loss, she looked back down at old Miss Ellie, who said, “Well, just between you and me, I never did think that boy had much sense—and now he’s proven it if he’s stupid enough to give up a sweet girl like you. Although…” she added, clearly puzzled, “I wonder why he was attracted to a hippie.”
The rest of the party was awkward, no two ways about it. But Jenny survived.
And in the days after, she began to realize she was glad the news was completely out—it took a lot of pressure off when she stopped into the police station to meet her dad for lunch a couple of days later. And when she stepped into the Daisy Dress Shop on the town square, no one asked her a thing—she chatted with the owner, Mary Ann, about normal topics like the weather and fashion, then bought a pretty cotton skirt suitable for other upcoming Destiny summer social occasions. When she ran into Tessa on the same outing, crossing the square, they did briefly discuss the divorce, but Tessa was supportive and didn’t dwell on the topic. “According to Sue Ann,” Tessa said, “he’s a rat bastard and you’re better off without him.”
Running into Tessa and Amy at Miss Ellie’s party had reminded Jenny that she h
ad more here than she remembered—more than just Sue Ann and her dad. She, in fact, had a lifetime of friends and other people to get caught up with. And sure, she’d seen a lot of those other people even before Miss Ellie’s party, but despite her faux pas in the gazebo, something about those reconnections was starting to seem more like a comfort than something to avoid.
Jenny spent the rest of her time that week…rediscovering herself.
She read astronomy books and turned to the Internet for more recent information, since new findings were being made in space all the time. She downloaded some of her favorite pictures taken by the Hubble Telescope and created a slide-show screensaver. She put on garden gloves from the shed out back and tidied up the perennials in the front yard. And a couple of times she took a chair back down to the dock to soak up the morning sun—and let her eyes stray across the lake to wonder if Mick Brody was still there, what he was doing, and if he’d changed his mind about coming back.
That would be best, of course. A guy like him could bring nothing but trouble into her life. And yet—the more time that passed, the more she couldn’t deny to herself that she’d never experienced such deeply pleasurable trouble.
In the evenings, she took walks, and once stopped in to see Miss Ellie and drop off some oatmeal raisin cookies after a visit to the bakery in town. She grilled out some nights; other nights she whipped up light salads. She started watching reality TV competitions, which Terrence had frowned upon, and soon began to understand the national indulgence. Twice she took her telescope down to the dock, but the first night turned out to be too cloudy, and on the next, although she did spot Saturn and Jupiter, she found that, as she’d suspected, the taller trees on the shoreline tended to get in her way, which quickly became annoying.
Of course, that led her thoughts back across the lake, as well. It was frustrating to have this new freedom, freedom to do whatever she wanted, accountable to no one else, but still not be able to do what moved her the most: exploring the cosmos one-on-one, through her telescope.