“Excuse me, sir?”
“Yes?” Jason kept looking at the father he was quickly abandoning hope of ever truly knowing.
“It’s his way of protecting me. I’ve earned a place in this household and in the master’s esteem. He respects that. But it doesn’t do him or me any good to allow me to act as if I’m more than a slave. To sit when a free man stands is to say with my actions that I think myself better than him. It’s not true, and if your father didn’t punish for me it, I’d lose respect for him. I’d rather take punishment at his hand than get myself into the kind of trouble he can’t protect me from, sir.”
Demetri was right. Jason had a habit of finding himself in the presence of slaves who were wiser than him. If Robert encouraged his slaves in dangerous habits, they could get in serious trouble should they be sold or act out of turn in front of someone who would demand punishment or even legal action. Kale had held the same concerns when he was a slave.
Jason nodded his understanding to Demetri and settled into a silent vigil.
“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are.” Jason nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Kale’s voice. It was the last thing he’d expected to hear.
“How’d you know I was in here?”
“There’s only one place you’d be this time of night besides our bed.” Kale handed him a warm mug of coffee. “Drink this.”
The rich aroma perked Jason up before he even tasted it, and he sipped the hot liquid. Several scoops of sugar and a generous helping of cream already sweetened the bitter drink. “Who made it?”
“I did. You don’t think anyone else would make it up like that for a grown man, do you?”
Kale’s familiar teasing was a welcome bit of normalcy. “I didn’t know you knew your way around the kitchen here. You’d better hope Darlene doesn’t find out.”
“Kitchens are easy enough. She won’t find out. I left everything cleaner than I found it.” Kale rested his hand on Jason’s shoulder as Jason drank. “How is he?”
“I don’t know, but he doesn’t look good. A nurse is on the way. We’ll know more when she gets here.”
“I’ll sit with you.”
“No, you should really get back to bed. You’re driving. I can sleep on the way tomorrow.” Jason wasn’t going to let anything ruin Kale’s big day. He had worked too long and too hard for it.
“You’re not really still planning on coming, are you?”
“We’ll see. I’ll come to bed as soon as the nurse says it’s all right. There’s a good chance everything’s fine, and we’re a bunch of overreacting dolts. But no matter what happens, you have someplace to be tomorrow.”
Kale didn’t move.
“Please, Kale. I can’t be worrying about you not making it to Conroy’s. I’ll be along soon.”
Kale leaned down and kissed Jason’s temple. “Wake me if you need me.”
Jason nodded and patted the hand resting on his shoulder. When the warmth and weight of it were gone, he missed it. He wanted nothing more than to have Kale sit with him, make him feel not so alone. If it was any other night, he would have begged him to stay. As it was, Jason wasn’t about to let his selfishness ruin Kale’s reunion with his brother.
Jason sipped at the coffee, barely noticing when it cooled. He didn’t know how much time had passed when he heard a horse’s hooves clip-clop on the driveway. Demetri left to let the nurse in before she woke up the rest of the house. When he returned, Jason stood to allow the nurse to take the place closest to Robert.
“Thank you for coming at this time of night.”
“It’s not a bother, Mr. Wadsworth. It’s what I’m here for.” The nurse listened to Robert’s breath sounds and felt his pulse. “It’s nothing to be worried about. This is one of those things that sounds worse than it is.”
“But it sounds as if he’s going to choke.” It was odd for Demetri to speak out of turn. “Ma’am.” His panic was poorly concealed on his face. This was more than just loyal concern. Jason wondered exactly what kind of relationship the slave shared with his father. Jason hoped Demetri had been able to provide companionship for his father, to prevent him from being so lonely.
“He won’t. His heartbeat is strong. If the phlegm becomes too much, he’ll cough it up. As long as we can hear it, it means breath is getting through. I can stay awake with him and monitor his progress. There’s really no need for both of you to stay awake. It will all look better in the morning. You won’t be any use to him tonight.”
“Are you sure? If something happens, I’ll never forgive myself if I’m not here.” Jason was certain of it.
“I’m as sure as it’s possible to be. He doesn’t have much time left, but he’s not going anywhere tonight.”
“All right then.” Jason turned to leave and came face to face with Demetri. The slave’s eyes dared Jason to dismiss him. He looked as set in place as stone. Looking back at the nurse, Jason asked, “What was your name?”
“Sadie, sir.”
“Sadie, this is Demetri. He’s my father’s personal attendant. He’s to be allowed to stay for however long he wishes.”
“I understand, sir.”
The gratitude in Demetri’s eyes was unmistakable.
* * *
Jason slipped as gently as he could into bed. Kale didn’t stir. Jason was tempted to curl around Kale’s warmth, breathe in his familiar smell, and remind himself that the man lying next to him made the worst things in life bearable, but he didn’t want to wake him. He had already robbed Kale of enough sleep tonight.
Lying on his back, Jason’s mind drifted to his father’s room. He wondered if Demetri was going to stand there all night. Seeing his father fading away was startling, a slow agony made more distressing by the knowledge that Jason didn’t have enough time left to make up for all the lost years. It wasn’t entirely his fault. His father had decided to disapprove of Jason’s relationship with Kale. No matter what progress they had made, Jason couldn’t entirely forgive his father for pushing him away, for disowning him, for preventing any possibility of a reconciliation.
Sleep pulled at his consciousness. Thoughts of Robert turned to thoughts of Kale. The dying man in the other room assumed Kale’s face. As surely as his father was about to leave them, Kale would one day leave too. In a flash of selfishness, Jason hoped he would be the first to die. He sent a silent prayer to the gods. It would be easier for them to take him first than to grant him the strength it would take for him to weather such a blow. It was hard to feel greedy when he knew Kale had the mettle to survive without him. The thought of Kale grieving over him left a dull, bleak pain in his chest. He couldn’t wish that pain on his lover. If he did die first, he hoped Kale would move on to find some happiness. He’d have the opportunity to choose a companion instead of clinging to the man who had freed him.
Jason hoped death for either of them was many years away, after they had lived a long life together, filled with travel and art and dreams and lazy days reading under a shade tree. Dread consumed him at the thought of it all being cut short. He couldn’t dictate to the gods when to take his companion. It could happen tomorrow. Any night could be their last.
Temptation turned to necessity, and Jason curled himself around his lover. Kale would have told him to stop being stupid and wake him if he needed him, but his presence was enough. Words couldn’t chase away the specter of death. Kale shifted slightly, moving to accommodate him. Jason reached up and pulled Kale’s arm around him. As soon as he was settled, Kale’s arm gently squeezed him in an automatic gesture. Snug against Kale—where he knew he belonged—it was impossible to think that death would ever separate them. Kale would always be there to comfort him.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kale was not surprised to find Jason absent from bed. He knew he had returned at some point in the night because he’d had to peel Jason’s arm off of him so he could pee. That was sometime after midnight, and he hadn’t expected him to stay. When Jason worried, he did
n’t let himself rest much. Boy couldn’t get out of bed before eight o’clock to save his own life, but he’d be up before dawn if he thought it would help someone he loved.
Kale quickly dressed. He was anxious to start the long drive. He dressed in a comfortable suit, not as casual as he would have been at home, but not the same level of formality Jason had insisted they wear in Shalae County. Kale had secured the deal. He didn’t need to appear as if he had forty-two thousand personally, just as if he was the type of man who would be employed by a company who could spend that kind of money on a single slave.
Jason was in the same spot Kale had left him in last night. It would have been easy to believe he had never come back to bed. There was a new addition to the room. A nurse sat in a chair on the other side of the bed. Demetri was in a chair at the foot and stood when Kale entered.
“Good, you’re awake. I was going to send someone to knock on the door if you weren’t up soon.” Jason smiled up at Kale.
“How is he?”
“He’s woken up a few times. Never for very long. Sadie was able to get him to take some medicine, and we were able to feed him some broth. So far, he’s managed to keep it down.”
“Good.”
“I came back to bed.”
“I know. You should come have breakfast with me.”
“I’m fine here.”
“You need to eat. It won’t take long, and it will give us a chance to talk.”
Jason looked to the nurse, who said, “He’s right, you should eat. We’ll send someone for you if he wakes.”
“All right, I’ll go, but only if a tray is sent up for Demetri, and he promises to eat everything on it.”
Kale glanced between Demetri and Jason. This was a new development.
“I promise, sir.”
Jason nodded and stretched when he stood, joints popping in his back and neck. “I’ll be back soon.”
The dining room wasn’t much brighter than Robert’s room. The sun was just starting to rise. The kitchen hadn’t known when to expect them for breakfast, so they waited a few minutes for the food. Jason looked like he was going to devour whatever was placed in front of him and dart back upstairs, so Kale was grateful for the time to talk.
“I’m going to leave as soon as we’re done eating. If everything goes as planned, I’ll be back late tonight. Don’t hold dinner for me. I’ll ask Darlene to leave something out for us.” Us. Him and Thomas. The next time Kale sat at this table, Thomas would be with him.
“I’m sorry I can’t go with you.”
“Don’t. There’s nothing to be sorry for, Jason. Do you really think I’d let you come with me today?”
“I suppose not, but you shouldn’t go by yourself.”
“I can take a slave with me. It would probably make Thomas more comfortable.” There was no telling how Thomas was going to react to him. He probably wouldn’t even recognize him. Having a slave along could smooth the transition. Thomas would see that the slave didn’t fear Kale, and he’d have someone who he would assume knew Kale’s preferences to mimic. It was a great idea.
“That’s not what I meant. You shouldn’t be traveling alone with that much money. It’s not safe. A slave can’t help if someone tries to rob you.”
“If someone tries to rob me, he can have the money. I won’t put a slave in that position.” Kale shuddered. A slave would be obligated to protect his master, but would be violating the law if he struck a free man. Kale had once found himself in that impossible situation. Just another example of how ridiculous Arine was.
“I’d feel better if John went with you. I trust him, and he always carries a gun. It would also be nice for you to have someone with you so Conroy doesn’t try to change the deal.”
Kale didn’t know John very well, but based on the time he had spent with him, John seemed like a decent enough man. “I don’t want to intrude on his time. He has things to do.”
“I’ll ask him.” Jason gestured to a nearby slave. “Billy, go get John for me, please.”
While the slave was gone, another served their breakfast. Just as Kale had predicted, Jason ate so quickly Kale was concerned he’d choke. A few minutes later, the slave returned with John on his heels. “You wanted me, sir?”
“I was wondering if you’d be available to go with Kale to Cooperville today. I was supposed to go, but I need to stay here with my father.”
“I don’t see why not. Billy caught me just as I was saddling up to go check on the boys who are out with the herd. Let me go get someone else to do it, and I’ll be ready to go. Say, ten minutes?”
“Sounds good.” Jason smiled triumphantly at Kale.
“Thank you, John. I’ll meet you at the car.” At least the time would pass more quickly with a passenger. Kale was reluctant to discard the idea of taking a slave, but Jason had a point. If this kept Jason from worrying about him, then he would do it. It would be too crowded for such a long drive in the car to bring a slave as well.
Jason finished his plate just before Kale did. “Be safe, Kale. If you get too tired to drive, get a room.”
“I will.”
“You know, you could take the train.”
“Nah, I prefer the car. I don’t like the thought of bringing Thomas back on a crowded train. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”
“You do know we have enough money for you to hire an entire train car for yourself?”
“Things are already set to take the car.” Sitting on a train with nothing to do would drive him mad. Driving would occupy him and not really take too much longer when the stops were factored in, and he wouldn’t have to a hire a cab at the other end.
“I’m going to miss you. I wish I could be there to see the expression on your face when you see your brother again.”
“I suppose it’ll be the same expression that’s always on it.” Kale hoped so at least. He knew his emotions were going to be overwhelming when the moment came, but he didn’t want to scare Thomas or make Conroy suspicious.
“I look forward to meeting him. If I’m asleep for some reason when you get back, wake me. I’m excited for you, Kale.”
“Thanks. I’ll try to call if I can find a place, but don’t worry if you don’t hear from me. Try to sleep whenever you can. You’re no good to your father if you’re exhausted.”
“I’ll try.”
Kale didn’t expect Jason would try at all. He wished he could be around to make him sleep, but he’d make sure Jason got caught up tonight.
They stood, and Jason crossed over to Kale. He planted his lips on Kale’s, his tongue demanding entrance. Kale complied. As the kiss deepened, Jason moved his hand from Kale’s face to his back, crushing their bodies together. It was a marked change from the quick pecks and gentle caresses that had been so common lately.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jason. You do realize I’m just going to be gone for the day? I’m not circling the globe or even leaving the country.”
Jason stepped back. “I know. I should get back upstairs.”
“All right. Don’t get too lost in your own head. I don’t like the thought of you sitting up there with nothing to occupy your mind. Take a book with you at least.”
Jason nodded. “I will. See you tonight. Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
After Jason left, Kale entered the kitchen, not minding the shocked faces of the slaves. “Darlene—”
“Thank goodness you stopped by. It saves me an errand. I wanted to give you this, and I just heard that John’s going with you, so I packed enough for three.” Darlene handed him a basket overflowing with fruit, bread, cheese, nuts, and dried meat.
“Why is everyone under the impression I’m leaving for days?”
“Hush. Now, I’d tell you to wake me when you get in so I could feed you and this brother of yours, but I doubt it’d do much good. I’ll have a pot of soup and some plates in the oven for you. If it’s not gone when I come into this kitchen to fix breakfast, there’l
l be trouble.”
“Thanks, Darlene. Could you also make sure Jason eats?”
“Boy, it’s a good thing you’re free now, otherwise I’d whack you. Who do I look like? Do you think I let anyone in this house, slave or free, go without a meal?”
“No, ma’am.”
“That’s better.” Darlene winked at him before going back to her work.
John waited for him at the car with several canteens. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah, Darlene was just making sure we won’t starve to death should we get stranded for a week.”
John laughed. “I figured. That’s why I got the canteens. You know she’ll check that basket when we get back.”
Kale put the basket in the back seat with the canteens. It was a good thing he hadn’t asked one of the slaves along. With all the food and the valise, there wasn’t any room for a fourth person.
“Are you sure you don’t mind coming with me? Mr. Wadsworth might need you.”
“You mean Mr. Wadsworth might pass. No, Robert’s going soon, but not today. He’ll be here when we get back. Besides, we’ve already said our goodbyes, and he doesn’t like me seeing him this way.” John settled into the passenger seat.
Kale took one last look in the valise to make sure the money was there along with his travel documents and pulled out of the driveway.
Chapter Thirty
“This is the fanciest car I’ve seen. If I were ever to get a car, this is the kind I’d want. None of those boxy things that look just like a carriage. This feels free, cutting through the wind, the same as a horse.”
They were off Robert’s property and on the open road where Kale could accelerate. The sun rose at their backs, chasing the night chill from the air caressing Kale’s arms.
[Measure of Devotion 01.0 - 03.0] Box Set Page 67