by Joyce Hansen
"They having fun, when I'm stuck up in the house."
"They just be playing 'cause there's nothing else to do. They ain't really having that much fun."
"I'm not like you, Amir. I like to do what my friends do. Like I don't understand why you don't play ball like the other boys."
"I don't play good."
"I thought all boys was good at ball and stuff like that. You ain't ashamed? You don't even try to learn?"
"If I can't play good, so what?"
"But all the other boys play."
"There's a whole lot who don't. They just don't tell nobody."
"They don't want people talking about them and laughing at them," I said.
"People always talking and laughing at somebody. Talk can't hurt you. If you can't do what other people do, so what? Do something else."
"Well, I can't stand for people to talk about me."
"Everybody don't have to be alike. Anyway, Doris, some people like you the way you are."
I looked up the street and saw Mickey and Dotty, Russell, Bird and the rest of the kids. They came over to the stoop and sat down. Everybody was quiet. "What's wrong with y'all?" I asked.
Russell put his leg over the bannister. "We just got tired of that playground."
Mickey turned to me. "We should've stayed on the block like you and Amir. That playground's spooky."
Yellow Bird was real quiet. Which was strange for him. Then he says, "I was waiting for Russell and Amir after school. Otherwise I would've been in there exactly when it happened."
Amir said, "We all could've been in there."
A roach ran across the step. Russell kept stomping it with his big foot.
T.T. said, "You got him the first time, man."
Then Dotty said, "Somebody did that little boy just like you done that roach."
Everybody looked at her. Dotty could say some crazy things sometimes. But in a way maybe she was right. Except that you was supposed to kill roaches. Otherwise they'd take over the city. Like they already took over 163rd Street. We all sat there quiet. Guess we was thinking about what Dotty said. Then'T.T. jumps up and yells, "I'm going to get a wrench and open the fire hydrant."
"Yeah," we said. "Turn on the hydrant."
Yellow Bird jumped in and got his clothes soaking wet. Russell sprayed water on the twins. I was screaming and popping water on'T.T.'s head. Even Amir put a can over the hydrant and sprayed passing cars. Then someone looked out the window and yelled at us.
"You kids crazy? Turn off that water. It ain't summer yet.
So we turned off the water and started singing. Mickey and T.T. began. They sounded kind of good. Then Russell did the bass part. I figured there was room for one more, so I jumped into the chorus. Dotty and Yellow Bird danced. Lavinia said, "Bird, you dance like a chicken pecking for worms."
Then'T.T. stopped singing. He said, "Doris, you got a good voice."
I smiled. "Thank you, T.T." That was one of my dreams—becoming a famous singer.
"Yeah, you got a real good voice, Doris. Good for calling hogs." Everybody laughed till they cried. I took off my shoe and tried to smack T.T. upside his head. Then Russell tried to hold T.T. so I could hit him. Mickey is singing like she in a opera house. Yellow Bird and Dotty still dancing like they got a hundred-piece band behind them. And Amir was sprawled all over the stoop laughing.
Someone opened their window and screamed down at us again.
"You crazy kids shut up all that noise!"
"No!" we yelled.
I guess we all went a little crazy that day. Crazy from trying not to think about a dead kid that could've been us.
9. Changes
After about a week, I guess, people wasn't so scared anymore about what happened to that boy. Even my mother let up a little, and didn't keep me a prisoner of the stoop. But we never found out who the boy was, or whether the person who did it was really caught. There was all kinds of rumors going around. I could still see the boy's face, though. I ain't gonna never forget that.
Me and Mickey and Dotty took the shortcut through the playground to school. We saw this little boy from the fourth grade. Dotty said, "That boy's teeth so big and buck it look like he got a mouth full of Chiclets."
Me and Mickey laughed. T.T. walked by and said, "You girls sound like three witches." Then I saw the spot where that boy was. Mickey said, "What's wrong with you? Don't pay that T.T. no mind."
"I ain't thinking about T.T.," I said.
"What's wrong then?"
"That's where that boy was."
"What boy?"
"Mickey, you forgot already? That boy who was shot."
"Why should I keep thinking about it? I didn't look anyway."
"Girl, you tricked me. You told me to go ahead and you didn't even look. It ain't right to be in here laughing."
"Girl, you crazy," Mickey said.
Dotty walked ahead of us, saying funny things about everyone she saw. But I couldn't laugh. I just hurried out the playground.
When I got to school the first people I saw was Yellow Bird and Big Russell and Amir. They was all excited because Big Russell was going to be voted captain of the team.
We had a special assembly. Hocks grinned so much I thought his big face would crack. Yellow Bird was voted best player. I couldn't believe it. I said to Mickey, "He's going to act simple when we get to class."
"Yeah. He'll probably throw a real basketball instead of paper, now."
But Bird shocked us all. When we went back to class after assembly he was quiet. He answered questions in science and English. We looked at him like he was crazy. Especially since he answered them right. Mrs. Brown was happy.
"I'm proud of your fine behavior today, James." (James was his other name.) "You see, class, it's never too late to improve."
The biggest shock came after school. Me and Mickey and Dotty was in the schoolyard after school watching the boys practice. You know I couldn't stay too long. But I was noticing how Big Russell didn't push Yellow Bird and scream on him like he used to. And Amir was telling them what to do like he was the coach. Suddenly Yellow Bird stops and says, "I got to go to the library to study."
We nearly passed out laughing. Bird studying!
"I'm going to get Mrs. Brown's social studies award."
Russell said, "Bird, you don't know nothing about social studies."
"Yeah, that's when you go out on the ledge," T.T. said.
I looked at Yellow Bird. "He knows the Black history Mrs. Brown gives us. But that's all."
"The Black history part ain't even in them social studies books. Mrs. Brown give us that from her own self," T.T. said.
Bird looked at all of us. "I'm going to study." We passed out again.
"But Bird, it's already the middle of May. You don't even have a book."
"Bird, you still on the Revolution and Mrs. Brown's up to what's happening now."
Yellow Bird grinned. "I'll get some help."
"You beyond help," someone said.
Mickey looked at me. "Mrs. Brown always lets us catch up," she said.
"Mickey, that boy'll have to do social studies twenty-four hours a day to catch up."
"Mrs. Brown says it's never too late."
"It's too late for Bird. Maybe they'll make up a basketball award for him," I said, laughing.
Mickey got serious. "He could take the tests again and maybe he'll pass them this time."
"Mickey, I think you like Yellow Bird. Why don't you help him?" She tried to hit me but I ran. She caught up with me at the corner. Amir, Russell and Yellow Bird walked ahead of us.
"Mickey, don't it seem funny to see them three boys together?"
"No. I ain't laughing."
"I mean, don't it seem funny to see them three hanging out together? It used to be Russell and Sherman. Now it's Amir, Russell and Yellow Bird."
"Yeah, I guess so. But I don't like what you said about me and Yellow Bird."
"I was just joking," I said.
Mickey
put a little sly look on her face. "I think you like Amir," she said.
"I do not!"
"How come you always sitting on the stoop with him and talking?"
"I talk to the other boys too."
"But not as much as you talk to Amir."
I tried to give Mickey a whack upside her head. But she got away. I ran behind her all the way to 163rd Street. When we got to the block, we was surprised to see Sherman standing on the stoop. He had a boy from his new block with him. Big Russell and them was there too.
"I see you girls still running wild," Sherman said.
"We not running wild," I said. "I'm just trying to slap Mickey upside her head, that's all."
Sherman pulled Mickey. "Come here and let Doris knock some sense in you."
Everybody started laughing and talking at once. It was like we used to be.
Sherman was his old conceited self again. He sounded on everybody. Combed his big, fluffy Afro about five times and kept moving around so we could see his new pants. He told Dotty, "Girl, you got dandruff. Look like somebody been planting rice in your corn rows."
Russell laughed in his loud, rowdy way. Sherman looked around for his next victim. I was laughing and easing behind Big Russell's broad back at the same time. I didn't want Sherman picking on me.
Then Sherman yells, "Hey T.T., did you find out yet?"
"Find out what?"
"Where a basketball supposed to go?"
"Russell always be in the way; that's why I can't see the basket, man."
Russell swung at T.T. and I lost my cover. Sherman yelled again.
"Hey, Mickey." I relaxed; he was going to get on Mickey now. I started smiling.
"Mickey, where's stilts?"
Mickey laughed like a fool. "Who you mean? Doris?"
Sherman winked at me. "Doris, you all right girl. Someday the rest of us gonna catch up to you. "
"You think you so funny, Sherman," I said.
The only one he didn't tease was Amir. I got mad. I figured I helped Sherman as much as Amir did. He still picking on me, and that new friend of his is there laughing like he knows me. I sat on the stoop.
Sherman posed in the middle of the sidewalk with everyone around him. "I'll catch y'all later," he said.
I ignored him and his new friend. He came over to me. "Lonnie, this is Doris. You know, the girl I was telling you about? She like a sister to me. She helped me out, man. She and that little dude over there with the light bulbs for eyes."
Then he did something that really shocked me. He bent down and kissed me on my forehead. Mickey would have to see.
"OooooWeeee, Amir, you better go get your woman. "
Amir smiled at me. I jumped off the stoop and chased Mickey down the block. Sherman hollered after us, "You can catch her, Doris. Just stretch them long legs."
I had to shut that Mickey's mouth. She knew good and well I didn't like Amir for no boyfriend.
The only person he didn't tease was Amir. Sherman just acted like he was real glad to see him. Sherman and his new friend seemed like they was real tight. After that visit we didn't see Sherman much. I guess he rather be with his new friends on his new block.
It seemed like the block changed a little after Sherman moved. Nobody on 163rd Street could think up the insults and names like Sherman did. You be mad when he picked on you. But it'd be real funny when he did it to someone else.
10. The Scholar
It was only a month before the end of school. Yellow Bird still tried to catch up so he could win the social studies award. He even played hookey one afternoon so he could stay home and study. He took all of Mrs. Brown's tests over and passed them, but he still had to take the last big exam. We all had to take that one.
When we got home from school Yellow Bird was on my stoop reading his social studies book. We all laughed—except Amir, of course. "Bird, you may as well forget it," Russell said.
"That bird brain of yours can't hold but one fact at a time," said T.T.
Russell laughed. "Bird, let me give you a little quiz. See how much you learned."
"Okay."
"When was the Declaration of Independence signed?"
"1676."
"Oh no, forget it," someone said.
Russell said, "Who was the second president?"
"Abraham Lincoln."
"Bird, you don't know nothing."
"That's the only two presidents them teachers talk about. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln," Bird said. Amir looked like he felt sorry for him. "Bird, I'll help you study for the test," he said.
"See, instead of laughing that's what you should be doing—helping him," I said to Big Russell.
"You laugh at Yellow Bird more than anyone else," Russell answered.
Amir and Yellow Bird went on down the street. We tried to imagine how Amir could help him.
Russell said, "Yellow Bird gonna drive Amir crazy. That boy played around so much his brain don't work no more.
Later that afternoon me and Mickey and Dotty was sitting on the stoop. Amir and Yellow Bird walked by on their way to the library. Mickey said, "I wonder how Amir get Yellow Bird to learn anything."
"Sure wish I knew."
"Let's go to the library and see what they do," Mickey said.
"I ain't going to no library," Dotty said.
"Me neither. You go."
"Come on, Doris. It'll be funny."
I laughed. "I still think you like Yellow Bird."
Dotty started laughing too. "Yellow Bird and Black Bird," she said.
"Y'all so silly." Mickey made believe she was mad. Then she said to me, "I know you like that bubble-eyed Amir."
Me and Dotty was still laughing. Mickey started whining.
"Come on, Doris. Just for a minute."
"Okay, but I ain't staying long."
Dotty ran ahead of us, down the street. "I'm going to get me a sour pickle at Mr. Sam's," she yelled.
I felt silly going to the library to see how somebody studies. But it was a boring afternoon and at least we'd have a good laugh.
Amir and Yellow Bird sat by the window way off in a corner. We didn't go over there at first. We made believe we was looking for books. Yellow Bird was hunched over a book and Amir watched him. Then Amir looked around and saw us. I waved and opened my eyes in surprise, like I didn't see them before. Me and Mickey walked over and sat down. Yellow Bird said, "Okay, Amir, ask me them questions again." His little face looked worried and frowned up. His hands shook a little. I never saw Yellow Bird like that before.
Amir talked to him real quiet. "Bird, you getting them dates mixed up, man. First remember what happened. Then we get to the dates."
"Okay, Amir. Let's go over it again."
He still got everything mixed up and wrong. Mickey giggled. I made believe I didn't hear her. Even Amir looked worried. Bird looked like he was about to cry. I wondered why he played the fool all this time and now he wants to be a scholar. We sat there trying to figure out how to help Yellow Bird.
Then Amir says, "Doris, I got a idea. Since Yellow Bird remembers that Black history perfectly, he could use the Black history facts to help him remember the other stuff."
"What you mean, Amir?"
"Look, he remembers that the first Black people came here in 1619, then he can remember that one year later the Pilgrims came. One year from 1619 is 1620. The Pilgrims landed in 1620."
"Oh yeah, I see. And you know I can write down all the important dates and things that happened. He can study them from the paper later on."
"Yeah, that's good," Amir said. "Then he won't get so mixed up trying to memorize the whole book."
We got so busy helping Yellow Bird, I forgot Mickey was there. She just sat and didn't say nothing.
Bird closed his eyes. "The Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620. The Declaration of Independence was signed in uh, in uh, in 1776. The Emancipation Proclamation was signed in uh, in uh, in 1862. The Civil War ended, 1865."
"He got them right!" I ye
lled.
That little, skinny librarian looked over at me. Poor Bird was sweating. He should get that award just for trying so hard, I said to myself. I didn't feel like laughing at Bird anymore. I wanted him to win the award.
When we left the library, Yellow Bird's silliness came down on him again. He and Mickey walked ahead of us hitting at each other like two kids. Me and Amir walked behind them. All I did was shake my head. Mickey and Bird made a nice, silly couple.
Three days after that time in the library, we took Mrs. Brown's last test. Most of us just wanted to pass so we could get a good grade in social studies. But Yellow Bird needed to pass with a very high mark to win the award. There was three other students in the class with real high marks. He'd have to beat them to win the award.
When the test was over we went crazy. Mrs. Brown kept us in, but who cared? It was June at last and summer waited for us.
11. No More Books
The last day of school and all we talked about was what we was gonna do over the summer. Like we was gonna do something new. Now the summer sounds began: The tinkly music on the ice cream trucks; the crack of the stick on the sidewalk when the boys played ball; girls jumping double-dutch or standing on the stoop trying to sing. Skates and bicycles grating down the street. Now I could stay out a little later. And no more homework! You know I was happy to see this day.
Mrs. Brown always gave her class a party and their awards on the last day. People acted like they didn't care, but everybody was proud to get one. Everybody had on their Sunday school clothes. Even Mrs. Brown had a Sunday-looking dress.
"Well, children, you look lovely this morning. I wish I could give all of you an award, but some of you didn't try at all."
Seemed like she looked straight at me. I turned to Mickey.
"Who she talking to?"
"Those of you who didn't make it this year will have a chance to make up for it in the fall."
I wondered if that meant some of us was left back?
"Now for the awards."
My heart beat fast. Suppose I get an award? I made a 95 on an English test once. But I hoped Yellow Bird got his social studies award.
"Science award—Sharon. Art award—Lewis. Mathematics award—Lavinia. English award—Alvin. Social studies award—"