All I Need: Hookers and Hand Grenades Book One

by Sammi Starlight

“Whoa,” Zane said, his mouth open. “That sucks.”

  Things in the studio had been going well. The songs I wrote while in Madison were coming together great and we felt like we had some big hits on our hands. The whole process was grueling as usual, but I loved it. The only thing that sucked was that I barely could talk to Lindsey. I missed her voice and that body of hers like crazy.

  Then there was the whole mess with Destiny. I left it up to my manager to take care of it since I was too busy. I didn’t want to talk to her anyway. I was afraid I would lose it and there would be a scene. I had to keep this out of the press until we figured it out. I wanted to tell Lindsey, but it wasn’t something you told someone over the phone. Originally, she was supposed to be out here a week after I got back, but her dad wasn’t handling her mom’s death very well and she had to stay in Madison.

  I hadn’t heard anything from my manager on the situation in a week, so I assumed it was taken care of.

  Boy, was I ever wrong.

  The whole shit storm starting raining down on a Wednesday. It was another day at the studio. Everyone arrived at seven AM, despite not having left the night before until two AM. Diesel saved the day, bringing us all coffee and donuts. I swore he was like a woman sometimes, making sure we were all taken care of. He sure took care of my ass on more than one occasion.

  We worked all morning, all cell phones off like always. Everyone knew not to disturb us unless it was a real emergency and then they had to call the studio phone. Only those closest to us had that number. For me, only our manager had that number. I thought about giving it to Lindsey, but if she needed me, she could call him. No one ever called us there though because unless someone was dying, they knew we would be furious.

  That was why the whole place got quiet when the studio phone rang that afternoon. Everyone stood there and looked at the phone. If we picked it up, it wasn’t going to be good news for any of us. We were all frozen in place, unable to move.

  “What the fuck guys,” Diesel mumbled and walked over to the phone. “Hello?”

  My heart dropped when he looked at me. “Yeah, he’s right here.” He held out the phone towards me. “It’s for you, Cane.”

  My mouth went dry and my palms started to sweat. Please let Lindsey be okay. I took the phone from him, hoping he couldn’t see that my hand was shaking slightly. “Hello?”

  “Cane, we have a serious situation,” my manager said, almost shouting into the phone. “She went to the press. It’s all over today.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” I was so relieved that he wasn’t calling to tell me Lindsey was hurt or worse, I had no idea what he meant.

  “Destiny.”

  He didn’t need to say anything else. “Fuck,” I muttered into the phone. “You were supposed to take care of this.”

  “I tried. Then she disappeared off the face of the earth. She was probably getting ready for this story.” He sighed into the phone. “I’m sorry, Cane. I’m trying to do damage control. We may have to call in someone though. It might get beyond my area of expertise.”

  “Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you have to take care of this. I mean it,” I snarled into the phone before hanging up. I scrubbed my face with my hands and ran my fingers through my hair. I was so fucked. I didn’t care about the world knowing what that bitch was saying, but I was worried about Lindsey. If she saw the magazines before I had a chance to tell her, she would be furious with me.

  “Is everything okay?” Diesel asked.

  I shook my head. “No, not really.” I sat down on one of the chairs, my heart heavy. “Remember that groupie that showed up and claimed to be my wife?”

  “Yeah, she was hot,” the drummer Zane smirked. JJ the bass player threw his pen at him, hitting him in the side of the head. “Ow, man, what was that for?”

  Everyone glared at him. “It’s not the time for that, you asshole,” JJ scolded him before turning his attention back to me. “What’s going on?”

  “I hired a private investigator when she came around claiming to be my wife and he wasn’t able to find any paperwork that said we were married. I thought that was the end of it but I guess not.” I leaned my head back on the chair. “She came around a couple of weeks ago claiming to be pregnant with my baby.”

  “Whoa,” Zane said, his mouth open. “That sucks.”

  I shot him a dirty look. “Yeah it does.” I leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees. “I have to get to Lindsey before she sees the magazines.”

  “Doesn’t she know better than to believe those things?” Zane asked. His mouth was about to get him punched.

  “Normally, yes, but given the history there, I would rather she heard this from me first.” What if was too late. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on, willing it to boot up faster.

  “Who did she talk to? Your manager?” Diesel asked. He had a look of real concern on my face. He was my best friend and I know he’d grown fond of Lindsey was well. He wouldn’t want to see her hurt by this story either.

  “She showed up in his office fat and pregnant, demanding money because she was having my baby.” A wave of nauseous came over me. I should have told Lindsey right away. I was a fool to think we could handle this without her knowing.

  “Is there a chance it’s not yours?” JJ asked.

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I probably slept with her, but I always use condoms. Always. I know it’s not one hundred percent. My manager is talking to my lawyer to see if we can get a paternity test before the baby’s even born.”

  My phone was on now and I was shocked I didn’t have any messages from Lindsey. I was even a little bit disappointed. I thought I would at least have a ‘hi’ message but there was nothing. There were texts from my manager and numerous voicemails, but not one word from her. Maybe she was just too busy with her dad.

  “What do you want to do, Cane?” Diesel asked.

  I shook my head. I could call Lindsey and explain or go there but then I would studio time and we needed to get this album done. “I don’t know.”

  “We can give you twenty-four hours if you want to go talk to her,” he offered. “I wish it was more, but you know we have to get this done.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I looked at the time. I could probably get a late flight out of here to Madison. Did I risk her seeing the story before I got there? Or did I call her first? She deserved to hear something like this from me in person.

  “I’m going to call my manager and get a flight. I’ll be back tomorrow night and we can pick back up. Is that ok with you guys?” I looked around, thankful for all the heads nodding in agreement. I always heard stories of bands with so much drama, but we were lucky that we all got along and looked out for each other.

  I started dialing my manager’s number and held the phone to my head. I stood up and nodded to the guys. “Thanks,” I mumbled on my way out of the studio.

  He answered as I got into the car and I told him to book me a flight to Madison for ASAP. I went home to pack and by the time I was done, he had a car there and had sent me a text with the details of my flight.

  I was so nervous the whole way there. Unlike last time when I was excited to surprise Lindsey, this time my stomach was in knots. So many questions ran through my mind. Did she know already? If she did, why didn’t she call or text? What would she say when I told her? Would she break up with me? I was terrified I was going to lose her.

  When I landed in Madison, I caught a cab straight to her house. It was late, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have time to waste.

  The cab pulled up to her house and I was surprised to see the house almost dark except for a light in the living room. Lindsey was a night owl like I was and did her best writing at night.

  I knocked on the door and waited. When no one came to the door, I got out my phone to text her.

  I’m here. Please open up.

  She didn’t answer my text and now I was really worried. Something told me she knew already. I knocked on t
he door again, this time louder. I stopped when I heard footsteps outside the door. I braced myself when I heard the door click and slowly open.

  She didn’t answer the door. It was her dad.

  “Lindsey’s not here,” he said before I could even greet him.

  “Where is she? Will she be home soon?” I looked over his shoulder nervously for a sign of her.

  He shook his head. “She went to LA. She didn’t tell me what for but I assumed it was to see you. You didn’t know?”

  My mouth went dry. “No, I didn’t. When did she leave?”

  He shrugged. “It was earlier this afternoon. She left in a hurry but said she had to talk to you. Too bad you missed each other.”

  “Yeah, too bad,” I mumbled and ran my hand through my hair. It looked like the press got to her before I did. I was so fucked.

  28

  Lindsey

  The magazine sat on my lap the whole plane ride to LA. After finding the story in the grocery store, I called some of my contacts in the press to see if this story was true or some fabricated story in the gossip rags. It wouldn’t be the first time I had seen an insane story about Cane and we usually laughed them off. Seeing that picture of Destiny set off an alarm in my head this time, telling me this was different.

  I was furious he didn’t tell me about her. Was he going to wait until the kid was born? Or graduated high school? Was he ever going to tell me or hope I would never make it back to town and he wouldn’t have to explain? If he loved me like he said he did, he should have told me what was going on. This was never going to work if we weren’t honest with each other.

  It wasn’t even the fact that this woman was running around telling everyone she was pregnant with his baby. I wasn’t stupid; I knew he’d been with women before me – lots of women. What bothered me was the fact he couldn’t tell me about it and I had to read about it in line at the grocery store.

  I managed to get a flight out of Madison that afternoon and packed a small bag. I took a cab to the airport so my dad wouldn’t have to drive me. I told him I had something to do for work and would be back the next day. I wasn’t ready to try to explain to him what I had discovered.

  While waiting for my flight, I bought a copy of the magazine to read. The article didn’t say much other than Destiny was claiming to be pregnant with Cane Stephen’s baby. There didn’t seem to be a comment from anyone in his camp, which surprised me. Was it because they couldn’t deny it? There was no mention of her being married to him, so at least he wasn’t lying to me when he said that was taken care of.

  I got to LA and wasn’t sure where to go so I went to my apartment to make a plan. I thought about calling or texting Cane, but he told me he wasn’t available to talk while they were recording, so I wasn’t sure if I should bother. I had his agent’s number to call if it was an emergency, but I also didn’t want to seem like a crazy jealous girlfriend.

  My best friend Rebecca called while I was trying to figure out what to do. I didn’t even get to say hello before she started ranting at me over the phone.

  “What the fuck, Linds? He got a chick pregnant? What are you going to do? What an asshole,” she said without taking a breath.

  “I don’t know,” I replied quietly. “He hasn’t said anything yet.”

  “Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?”

  “No, I’m looking for Cane. Then I have to get back to Dad. He’s still not doing so well. I was able to arrange to have the neighbor come check on him until I get back tomorrow.” I sat down on a chair in my apartment and fought back tears. I had been so intent on getting to LA that I hadn’t given myself a chance to cry. I didn’t want to give him any of my tears anyway.

  “Isn’t he in the studio? Just go there.”

  “I don’t know where it is. They go into super-secret mode when they are recording. They don’t tell anyone where they are except for their manager. They don’t have their phones on either. They don’t want to be disturbed.”

  “Call his manager then.” She was starting to sound impatient with me. If something like this had happened to her, she would have been a tornado looking for Cane until she found him. That was why we were such good friends; we balanced each other out.

  “I’m going to. I’m trying to be calm and figure this whole thing out. You know as well as I do the press publishes shit all the time. This could be another one of their stories and with Cane being so busy recording, he doesn’t even know about it yet.”

  “You don’t really think that, do you?” She snorted at me. I didn’t, but I didn’t want to admit that to her.

  “I need to talk to him.” I stood up and walked over to the window to watch the rain fall. “Listen, I have to go. I will call or text you later.”

  “Be careful, Linds and don’t let him walk all over you,” she warned. “I’m here to kick some ass if you need it.”

  “I know you are,” I laughed. “If I need anyone’s ass kicked, you’ll be the first I call.”

  I hung up the phone and scrolled through my contacts until I found the band’s manager’s phone number. Cane had given it to me before he left Madison. I dialed the number and my stomach did a flip when it started ringing.

  I walked around my apartment nervously while the phone continued to ring. With each ring, I got more annoyed. What manager didn’t answer his phone? When his voicemail finally answered, I hung up and tossed my phone on the couch, sitting down hard next to it.

  I put my hands over my face and let the tears flow. They were out of frustration more than anything. All I wanted to do is see Cane and talk to him. I wanted him to tell me this whole thing was made up and he didn’t even see it yet. Then I wanted him to fuck me until I forgot about it.

  My phone dinged with a new text message and I wiped my eyes. I picked it up and saw a text message from my brother David.

  Tell me it’s not true.

  He must have seen the story. I sighed and got ready to send him a response. I paused, unsure of what to tell him. I didn’t want to tell him the truth and have him say ‘I told you so’. I also didn’t want to lie to my brother.

  I’m in LA to talk to Cane. I’ll fill you in later.

  I held the phone in my hands and waited for his response. I braced myself for his harsh words or a phone call, telling me he knew Cane was an asshole and I should dump him. That’s why I was surprised by what he said next.

  Take care, little sister. Call if you need me.

  I almost started crying again. I was thankful for the support of my friend and brother, but I needed Cane. We hadn’t talked much since he left and I missed his touch. I missed sleeping with his arms around me. I wanted him to laugh and roll his eyes when I showed him the magazine story like he did all the others. He would make it all alright.

  I tried calling his manager again, but this time it went right to voice mail. Fuck this. I looked up his name online and got the address to his office. I wasn’t going to sit here and wait anymore.

  I grabbed my keys and purse and went out to my car. My hands were shaking as I started it. I put the address in the GPS on my phone and began my drive to Cane’s manager’s office.

  Traffic wasn’t too bad and it took me about twenty minutes to get there. I almost called again to warn them I was coming, but decided against it. I arrived and parked my car. I still had that stupid magazine me. I glanced at it again before I went inside.

  The office was tucked away in the corner of a business complex. When I walked into the small waiting room, there was another woman standing there. She had her back to me and was talking to someone very animatedly on the phone. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was a potential client or maybe she was someone’s crazy girlfriend like I was.

  As I approached the receptionist at the front desk, the blonde finished her phone call and turned around. She was looking down to tuck her phone into her purse, but I could tell who it was. I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed the round belly, making her look like she had swallowed a basketba
ll. I guess there was no doubting that there really was a pregnant woman involved in this whole scandal. What the fuck was she doing there?

  She looked up and smiled sweetly when she saw me. “Hello Lindsey,” she purred. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  I sucked in my breath and tried to stay calm. The last thing we needed was for her to see how freaked out I was about this whole situation. It wouldn’t do anyone any good for me to lose my cool. I would save that for Cane later when I finally got him alone.

  “Destiny,” I nodded and finished walking to the receptionist’s desk.

  “Are you looking for Cane?” She asked. I turned around and she had her hands on her stomach as if to draw attention to it. My eyes were drawn to it and I had to keep from crumbling to my knees in tears. I had been wishing with all of my might there was no pregnancy, but I couldn’t deny it anymore.

  “It’s not really any of your business,” I replied even though it was pretty obvious we were both there for Cane or to talk to his manager.

  “Please,” she rolled her eyes. “Let’s not pretend here. I’m pregnant with Cane Stephen’s baby and I know you two are dating.” She raised an eyebrow at me when I visibly winced at her words. “Or you were dating. Cane won’t take my calls while he’s in the studio, so I’m here to see his manager. I would imagine you’re doing the same.”

  “We are dating,” I corrected her. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing how upset I was by all of this or that it hurt our relationship. I also didn’t want her to know Cane hadn’t even told me about her and the baby. She would love that all too much.

  “Whatever,” she said with a wave of her hand. “It’s only a matter of time.” She walked closer to me and I almost gagged on her perfume; she must have bathed in it. “Cane grew up without family. Do you think he’ll let this baby grow up without one?” She looked down and patted her stomach with a smile. “He’ll do the right thing and marry me.”