by L. M. Carr
“This is so beautiful,” Remy eyes the brick building with awe, her eyes taking in the unique architecture along the top. “I mean it’s really nice.”
I stand there for a moment memorizing the soft planes of her face and her profile with the contour of her full lips. I feel everything harden instantly. Her body is incredible, but who she is makes her even more beautiful. I don’t think anyone compares to her. I love the way she sees beauty in all the small things in life. Even the story she told me about the two swans named Romeo and Juliet that are inseparable comes into my mind.
“It’s incredible to think that someone envisioned this and then created it. It’s beautiful.” She turns and catches me staring at her.
Immediately, I close the space between us and cup her face. “You are beautiful.” Our lips touch as I lower my head and she stands on tiptoes, curling her hand around my wrists and leaning against me. The tiny gasp assures me she’s felt my erection. There’s no denying what she does to me.
“Let’s go inside,” I mumble against her lips.
She sighs and hums her response before opening her eyes to look at me.
Desperation mingled with need kicks in and I force myself to use every ounce of willpower to refrain from scooping her up into my arms and carrying her into the apartment. I know if I give in to this uncontrollable desire, our time together will be over too soon. I will have taken her harder and faster than I intended. I don’t want to hurt her; I want to love her. I nearly miss the step and trip when the realization of my thoughts occurs to me. I love this woman.She’s like an unexpected gift, a pleasant surprise that has turned my world upside down. I want her. I crave her. I need her.
As if it’s the most natural thing, Remy leads me up the stairs to the top landing, taking slow steps one at a time.The lithe movement of her body and the graceful way she moves causes the blood in my body to pool in one area, making my dick painfully stiff, begging to unleash the silent fury. By the time we reach the narrow hallway where the heavy door with three small windows awaits our entrance, my patience is just about all but gone. I pull out the key and slide it into the keyhole. I know that once we step over the threshold, there’s no going back. It’s one step closer to making her mine.
Silently, I unlock the door. I glance at her, looking from her eyes to her lips and hope she understands that she’s safe here. I will protect her. No one will ever hurt her again. With a subtle nod and small smile, Remy accepts my offer and steps through the doorway. I welcome her into my home. God knows she’s already taken up residence in my heart.
Remy
“MAKE YOURSELF AT home.”
I glance at him as he watches me carefully. My bag slips off my shoulder as I walk over to the couch. I run my finger over the soft material.
“Pottery Barn or LL Bean?”
Shane practically flies through the air and crashes into me. His heavy body hovers over mine on the plush cushions. “You have a smart mouth. I might need to put something in it.”
I gasp at his words. “What?”
He kisses my lips quickly before he stands up. I watch him walk away as he steps into the kitchen where he yanks the freezer door open. I smile when I see him open a drawer and take out two spoons.
“Open,” he orders when he straddles over me with a spoonful of chocolate ice cream.
I shake my head and turn away. “Too many calories.”
Blue eyes narrow at me. “Open your mouth. I told you I was going to put something in it, didn’t I?”
I press my lips together.
“You know you want a taste.”
I shiver as I look at him. My tongue darts out and slides across my lower lip. I do want a taste. Just one little taste. Slowly, I open my mouth and feel the chilled spoon slide onto my tongue.
“That’s it.” I lick my lips again.
He shoves the spoon into the container and scoops out another bite. “That’s all you want?” The cold spoon glides along my lips, teasing and tempting me.
With determination, I reach for the ice cream and set it on the coffee table.
“I want more.”
His lips crash into mine, a frosty tongue slides into my mouth. The contrast sends sparks throughout my whole body.
He grips my hair and kisses me hard.
I trail a line of kisses along his jaw down to his neck and back up. God, I love his neck, I love his jaw, I love his face, I love…I love…I love him? My eyes widen with my sudden discovery.
“What’s wrong?”
I tighten my lips and shake my head quickly, not wanting to answer his query.
“You’re safe with me.”He mistakes my hard swallow for nerves or fear instead of the sudden epiphany. Is it possible that I’m in love with him? The only other two men in my life that I love are David and Simon. But the feelings in my heart are so much stronger. I don’t think about them all the time. I don’t anticipate seeing them they way I do with Shane. Their gentle touch doesn’t spark a fire in the pit of my belly.
“I know I am,” I whisper, dropping my eyes to the shiny hardwood floor before looking back up. “I know.”
His gaze drops to my mouth before his lips touch mine. “I won’t ever hurt you.”
Our kiss ignites into another frantic desire for each other. Strong hands cup my face and move to my back before finally pulling my hips flush against his body. When his erection presses into my stomach and he groans how much he wants me, I let go. I completely let go of every thought. I let go of the images etched in my mind of my mother and her Johns. I completely let go of who I am and what I’ve become. I let go and grab the hem of his T-shirt as I pull it over his head. I grip his bare shoulders tightly and hold on for dear life.
“Remy…are you sure?” he breathes into my ear as he leaves a trail of kisses along my neck.
“I’m sure of you.” I wrap my legs around his waist when he scoops me up and stands.
A moment later he walks us to his bedroom, kicks the door closed and falls onto the bed with me pinned beneath him. His arms bear the weight of his body against mine as he steadies himself and looks down at me.
All of a sudden, he’s on his knees, sitting back on his haunches. I wait with bated breath for him to say the words of rejection. He doesn’t really want this. He doesn’t really want me. Of course, I can’t blame him. I wouldn’t want me either.
Beautiful blue eyes search my face before he speaks. “Let me worship you. Let me show you how beautiful you are. Let me show you how I feel.”
Those words. Those reassuring words dictate my desperate move to remove my shirt and bra as I lie there completely exposed to him. His eyes scan my body as his fingers reach down to skim the smooth skin of my full breasts before he descends, taking my taut nipple into his mouth. My eyes close and I relish the feeling of his tongue swirling, nipping and sucking.
Slowly, he continues to move down my body until he stops at the button of my snug jeans. With agile fingers, he loosens the buckle and slides the zipper down. I push my feet down on the bed and raise my hips, allowing him to remove the articles of clothing that are meant to cover my body but now serve only as a barricade.
“Oh my God,” he groans as he takes in my naked body. I’m not self-conscious of my body. I know what I look like. I have curves in all the right places even though I think my ass is too big. Keeping my body anything less than fit isn’t exactly an option these days.
Slowly, he creeps down my body, trailing a line of tender kisses until his tongue touches my buzzing flesh.
“Open for me.” With whispered yet demanding words, he beckons me to bend my knees and widen my legs. I obey instantly. Lustful eyes pierce mine as he looks up while his tongue continues to devour me. My core tightens and my pulse quickens as heat surges through my body. My fingers grip the sheets as an orgasm rips through me.
I cry out in pleasure a second time when he thrusts his fingers deep into me. Every nerve ending is on alert; my body feels as if it could float away.Relentlessly, he
continues to worship me until I tangle my hands through his dirty blond hair and yank hard when I come. Warmth spreads as the feeling of euphoria riddles through my body from the top of my head all the way to my toes.
“Shane,” I pant, opening my eyes and peering down at him between my widened legs. “Oh my God. That was…” I can’t even finish my words. He kisses my bare skin and smiles, his mouth slick and shiny with evidence of my release.
“That was even better than last night.” He crawls up the length of my body and hovers over me. “I would love to do that every single day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.”
“Make love to me,” I plead.
“I just did.” He nips at my earlobe with his teeth.
“Make love to me with your body. Make us one.”
“Sweetheart, we already are.” His mouth comes down against mine as his tongue outlines my lips. “We already are.”
Never in my twenty-six years have I felt so extraordinary. Never have I felt so revered. Never in my life have I felt so loved.
The three little words teeter on my tongue before falling silent. I love you. I know I love him. I love everything about him. This man who crashed into my life is more than I could have ever wished for.
“Shane Davis, take off your jeans… please.” I tug playfully at the back of his head.
I love the roguish grin he gives me as he moves to rid himself of his remaining clothing.
The kissing ensues and the heat between us is enough to start a forest fire. “I’ll be right back,” he mumbles before he jumps us and leaves the room. My nipples harden as the warmth of his body evaporates the moment our bodies part. I stare at the perfection of his muscular back and his perfect, tight ass.
The sound of drawers opening and closing piques my curiosity. He returns quickly with his fist clenched tightly around something. I bite my lip to hide my delight when I spy the shiny corners of the plastic wrappers. Condoms. Not one or two. A handful! And he’s got huge hands!
He tosses the condoms haphazardly on the bed then positions himself back between my legs.My core spasms with incredible anticipation. His gaze penetrates right through me and washes away any lingering doubt about us as he searches my face. He wants this. He wants us.
I raise my head and offer my lips, silently begging for him to kiss me and take me away to a place where nothing else exists. I need him to take me away to a place of utter bliss.
“Remy,” he mumbles before his lips crash against mine, his mouth opening, allowing our tongues to meet again while the full weight of his body crushes me.
With my lips pressed against his, I expel a deep sigh, the air all but gone. My eyes widen in shock as the memory of a man hovering over me rushes to the forefront of my mind. The image of Simon pulling him off of me. The image of the blade running along Simon’s face. The image of blood spilling out and down his shirt.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Shane pushes up onto his elbows while his hand brushes away the hair covering my forehead and kisses it gently. “Tell me why you’re crying.” His thumb catches the tears I didn’t realize were flowing freely.
My chin quivers as I fight the temptation to bawl like a baby. I need to tell him what I’ve done. I want so much to tell him who I am.
“We don’t have to do this.” He kisses my cheek and moves to push himself all the way off me. Disappointment and longing mingle together on his beautiful face. I feel horrible. Shame washes over me as I stare at him because he’s not like them. He’s not one of my mother’s Johns. He’s good. He’s pure. He’s mine.
Suddenly, my naked body feels abandoned and alone. With the earlier feeling of being suffocated, forced down against my will now gone, I wage a war against myself, proclaiming victory when a smile dots my face and I pull him back down slowly onto me.
“Remy, listen to me. I want you desperately, but we don’t have to do this.” I feel his dick twitch against my flesh.
“I’m fine” I sniffle. “I don’t know why I’m getting emotional. I swear I’m not a crier.” I mentally chastise myself and get my emotions in check.
My comment puts a small smile on his face.
I wrap my arms around his bare back and press my cheek to his shoulder. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone…and I’m afraid…I don’t want to get hurt. Sex isn’t something I take lightly.”
“Hey,” he pulls back. “I’m not going to hurt you. I lo—I love that you’re here with me.”
Gazing into his eyes, a sea of blue, I can’t help but wonder if he would think differently if he knew the truth. Maybe it wouldn’t make a difference. Maybe he wouldn’t like me at all.
I run my fingers through his dirty blond hair and inspect the deep lines in his forehead. Even though I tease him about his “yuppy” life, it’s evident he’s not had a stress- free life either. But I hardly think his experiences have been anything like mine. While I have to make decisions about my life, he’s probably thinking about which suit to wear to work. I bite my lip just thinking about how good he would look in a three-piece suit. The image draws out a little sigh as my cheeks pull back in a smile.
Shane’s eyes narrow. “Why are you smiling?”
“I’m pleading the fifth.” I grin and kiss his lips.
“I’ll tickle it out of you,” he warns as he presses his body against mine, effectively trapping me beneath him.
“Can’t.”
“Can’t?” One eyebrow arches.
“I’m not ticklish,” I state proudly. A quick memory takes me back a long time ago to when Simon left a big purplish bruise on the side of my waist as he tried to prove that I was indeed ticklish. Even though I rushed to his defense, explaining that I bruised easily, he got in big trouble and lost his computer privileges for twenty-four hours. It was like a death sentence for an eleven- year-old computer geek.
“I’m sure I could find a ticklish spot if I tried.” He grins deviously, his hands moving away from my face and down my body.
“You’re wasting your time,” I say with a hint of defiance.
“I’ll find it sometime soon. I’m not one to give up and besides,” he rolls us over so I’m lying on top of him, “I like a challenge.”
Something changes in the air; electricity bounces off the walls and fills every space between us. I stare at him as he stares at me. The roguish smile vanishes, replaced with a look of lust and desire.
I plant tiny, slow kisses all over his face, biting gently on his jaw and then moving down to his neck. With the tips of my fingers, I trail the smooth skin that covers hard muscle before moving to his biceps to trace the black tribal band tattoo. He watches me carefully as I rise up and straddle him.
Our eyes connect and in that moment, I know what I want. I want him. I want to be young, carefree and in love with Shane Davis.
“Make love to me.” My words are breathy and desirous.
Swiftly, I reach to the side and rip open a condom with my teeth. My hands work in unison to sheath his stiffness. I throb at the feel of him in my hand. The lazy blinking of his eyes and the licking of his lips are clear indications of his pleasure.
I gasp at the immediate contact; our bodies connect seamlessly as I slowly lower my body, impaling myself onto him. I struggle for a breath when he raises his hips and thrusts upward, filling me completely. Oh God. My head falls to the side as I let my body stretch and adjust. I still and feel a shiver run through me, muscles clenching tightly as we become one. The moment is perfect. I draw upon every ounce of self-restraint to fight the urge to writhe my body against his and quell the desperate need. The tightening of his jaw, the straining of his neck and his soul- penetrating gaze encourage me to move my hips. I muster every modicum of confidence, suppressing all the names I’ve been called throughout my life, and focus on making love to this man. This incredibly beautiful man. My man.
Shane’s hands travel up my thighs and my hips, gripping hard, guiding me forward and backward in a rhythmic motion. I am lost in him. I am lost in the unfamiliar yet
welcome emotion coursing through my veins as it pours out of me.
“Remy,” he whispers my name through gritted teeth as he pistons upward beneath me, continuously hitting my core deliciously hard.
My body relishes the onslaught until I dig my fingers into his chest and fall into a blissful state of release.
“Sit up,” he orders and he pushes on to the point of no return. Once again, my name slips from his mouth, but this time it is accompanied by a feral grunt and a curse.
Exhausted and completely sated, I lean forward and press my face into his chest. The deep, erratic rise and fall of his chest as he attempts to gain control lull me. The fast beating of his heart as it thumps loudly warms my insides, knowing I did this. I made him wild with want. I satisfied him.
Time ticks by, moving us forward to the realization of what we just did. It moves me closer to the realization that what my mother does with men is not what I just did with Shane.
I made love to the man I am hopelessly and desperately in love with.
His fingertips trace the curve of my spine slowly before moving in a circular pattern along my back. Shane’s hands are not smooth; they are the calloused hands of someone who has toiled in the fields and labored intensely. I love his strong hands.
“Hey,” he says as he kisses the top of my head.
I lift my head and meet his smiling face. “Hey yourself.” I lower my face and hover just above his lips. He cups my face and kisses me hard. “You are so beautiful.”
“So are you.” I grin at my assessment of his sexy hair and blue eyes. “This is beautiful.” I kiss his cheek. “And this.” I kiss his other cheek. “I love these.” I kiss each lid causing him to close those pools of blue. “And I really love this.” I nip and then kiss his lips.