“You know what? I’m not going to let someone who recently came into my life tell me what to do and with whom to do it. Turn the truck around.”
“What?”
“Turn it around! I don’t want to go to the movies anymore. I want to go home.”
“I’m not taking you home.”
“You might as well take me home now, because if you don’t, the minute we get to the theater I’m going to call a cab.” Her eyes challenged his before he looked away.
“Fine.” Ryan gritted his teeth and swung the truck in a U-turn in the middle of the street.
“Are you insane?” Shawna screamed at him.
“You said you want to go home, so I’m taking you home. There’s no pleasing you, is there?”
Shawna fell silent and stared out of the window, fuming. That fast, the evening had deteriorated. When he parked his truck at her house, she immediately jumped out.
“Would you wait a damn minute?” Ryan said.
“I have nothing to say to you,” Shawna hissed. “You don’t own me, Ryan, and I’ll do as I please.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.
“I could ask you the same question.”
“I’m asking you to respect my request.”
“And I’m asking you to back off. This is why I need space. Because you’re too intense.” She marched up the wooden stairs and he followed. She fumbled for her keys.
“Would you prefer that I act as if it doesn’t bother me that you’re going out with another man?”
“Frankly, I don’t care if it bothers you, because I’m going to that party and I don’t need your permission.” She shoved the door hard twice. It sprang open on the third push, reminding him he hadn’t lubricated the lock as planned.
“So while I’m out of town, you’re going on a date with him?”
Shawna swung on him. “How do I know what you’re doing in Oklahoma? You could have a woman there for all I know.”
“Is that what this is about? It wasn’t enough when you slapped me on Friday because you’re still harboring some anger, aren’t you? Will it make you feel better if you hit me again? Go ahead. Hit me. I can take it.”
The expression on her face suggested she was trying to decide if she should or not. “No.”
“Get it out of your system,” he insisted.
“Don’t tempt me.”
Ryan laughed shortly. “I don’t think I can tempt you with anything except sex. I’m finally starting to hear you because even a blind man could see this argument is baseless. It’s simply a way out for you.”
“And what is it for you? You’re the one making unreasonable demands.”
“Maybe it’s a way out for me, too.” He saw something flicker in her eyes. Hurt? He wasn’t sure. It could have been his imagination.
All he knew was that she didn’t seem to appreciate the depth of his feelings for her and how it made him feel to know that she would be with a man she used to have feelings for—and who may still have feelings for her. He didn’t care how unreasonable she thought his request.
“I think you had it right,” he said. “We need to give each other space. What we had in Chicago . . . I don’t know if we can recreate that.” He turned away.
“Ryan.”
He barely heard her, her voice was so soft. “What, Shawna? I’m giving you what you want. Space. I’ve made it clear to you what I want. I want you. Now you need to decide if you want me, too.” He heaved a heavy sigh. “I know it’s scary and I know I come on really strong, but it’s been six years. Six years I’ve walked around like an empty shell. So you’ll have to accept that it’s really hard for me to slow down, and it’s even harder for me to stand by and let another man interfere with what we have.”
He marched down the steps and heard the door close behind him. The finality of it hit him deep in his chest. Before he entered the truck, he looked up at the next building over. Like before, someone pulled across the curtain, but he now knew it had to be Jerome because he stayed over there.
Ryan stood and stared, daring him to return to the window. When he didn’t, he started his vehicle and drove out of the parking lot.
Chapter Nineteen
For days afterward, Shawna remained in a state of shock, but she managed to go about her daily routine, pretending normality. By the time a week had passed since her argument with Ryan, she’d finally stopped constantly checking her phone to see if he had called or texted.
The day of the party she was determined to participate in the festive atmosphere like all the other guests.
“This is nice,” she said to Jerome. “Great view from up here.”
The Benson & Gates open house party was well underway. Minutes before, she’d walked over to the window in the giant conference room at the top of the new building the firm purchased in the center of the city. The law firm used only the top four floors and leased the rest. From up here she had a good view of the Atlanta skyline spanning the night sky.
“Didn’t I tell you?” Jerome asked from behind her. He wore a dark, three-piece suit and held a mixed drink in his hand.
Shawna had decided to curl her hair and sweep it to the side. The powder blue strapless dress she wore had a fitted bodice and a full chiffon skirt.
She took a good look at Jerome. “Are you having a good time?” she asked. He’d had an air of restlessness about him all night.
“To tell you the truth, I don’t want to be here,” he replied in a lowered voice. “I appreciate you coming to this thing with me.”
“No problem. After everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I could do, but why don’t you want to be here? It’s a nice event with a good turn out.”
He snorted. “I don’t like coming to company parties. Before the night is over, most of these people will be drunk, and of that number, half of them will go home together.”
Shawna cast a quick glance around the room. Considering the semiformal attire everyone wore, she couldn’t imagine them behaving the way Jerome suggested. However, plenty of liquor floated around, and corporate parties could often get out of hand.
“Why did you come if you hate these events so much?”
He sighed. “It’s good to show my face at these things, even though I don’t enjoy them.”
“Jerome, who’s this beautiful creature with you?”
They both turned in the direction of an older man with salt and pepper hair—more salt than pepper—who had walked up. Shawna stiffened when Jerome laughed and placed his hand low on her back. The intimate gesture took her by surprise.
“This is someone very special to me. Shawna Ferguson, this is Gabe Benson.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Benson.” They shook hands.
“Call me Gabe, please.” His voice boomed in the room and no one else seemed to be disturbed by it, as if they had grown accustomed to him being loud. Such a commanding voice probably worked very well in the courtroom.
“I love the table and the credenza,” Shawna commented. “They look new.”
“Brand spanking new,” Gabe said with satisfaction. “We had them custom-made by a local craftsman.” He took two steps and knocked his knuckles against the top of the table. “This is genuine mahogany, straight out of South America. It’s not easy to get the real deal anymore—so many restrictions because of the depletion of the forests and all those damn illegal loggers. It cost a pretty penny, but our guy delivered and created a work of art.” He couldn’t have looked prouder if he’d produced the furniture himself.
“Where’s Gates?” Jerome asked.
“Somewhere around here, enjoying the fact that his wife is out of town visiting the in-laws. I hope he isn’t enjoying it too much.” He made a drinking motion with his hand, and he and Jerome laughed. Shawna smiled, not entirely sure if laughter was appropriate.
Gabe pointed his finger at Jerome. “We have big things in store for this man right here. He’s one of our hardest working attorneys.”
&
nbsp; “It’s easy to work hard when you love what you do,” Jerome said.
“That’s what I like to hear.” Gabe slapped his hands together. “Time to get some food in my body. Shawna, it was a pleasure. Jerome, don’t keep her to yourself all night—let her get around to meet other people.”
“Will do.” Gabe patted Jerome on the shoulder and then walked away.
“He seems to really like you,” Shawna said, easing out of Jerome’s reach.
“I hope so. My goal is to make partner. I have big plans.” He cleared his throat. “Shawna, I know we said we’d just be friends, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my future and where I hope to be in the next five years. What I’m trying to say is—”
Gabe’s booming voice greeting someone caught his attention, which Shawna was happy for. The conversation had started in a direction that made her distinctly uncomfortable. She turned toward the door and had a moment of dizzying disbelief when she saw Gabe standing there with his arm around Ryan’s shoulders as if they were old friends.
Ryan, in a suit.
She’d done her best to keep thoughts of him at a minimum, but his arrival made that impossible to do. He looked amazing in a black jacket, pale blue shirt, and a striped tie. Even with the stubble on his jaw, he looked polished, professional—breathtaking in a different way than he normally looked in casual attire.
A redhead stood beside him with short hair, tapered on the sides.
“Is that your friend?” Jerome asked.
Her throat muscles had tightened to the point that she could hardly breathe, and it took a while before she had the presence of mind to tear her eyes away and answer the question. “Yes, that’s him.”
“What’s he doing here?” Jerome demanded, as if she’d violated some unspoken rule. He looked uncharacteristically upset.
“I don’t know. He probably received an invitation like everyone else.” Jerome looked at her with accusation in his eyes as if she’d given Ryan access to the party and sprung an unwelcome surprise on him. “I don’t have anything to do with him being here. You should probably talk to Gabe about it since they seem to be friends.” Jerome’s hostility surprised her.
Shawna turned back to the window to pull herself together. Given their last argument, she really had no right to be jealous, but the ugly emotion rose inside her like chimney smoke.
Who was the woman with him? A friend, or more?
Ryan’s image appeared as a reflection in the glass. “Good evening, Jerome. Shawna.”
His voice prickled the hair on the back of her neck. Steadying her nerves, she turned slowly to face him.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” Jerome said stiffly. “You know Gabe?”
“You could say that. Gabe’s a great guy. We have a couple of things in common. We both grew up in farming families and it turns out he’s a fellow Okie, too. I made the conference table and credenza, and he invited me to the open house.” He turned his attention to Shawna even though he continued to speak to Jerome. “I hadn’t planned on coming, but my plans changed at the last minute, and I decided to show up so I could take care of some business.”
It was nerve-wracking the way he kept looking at her. She wished he’d stop it.
The redhead walked up beside him. “Ry, give me a couple of your business cards so I can help you hand them out.”
Ry? His name contained four letters and two syllables. Was it really so difficult that she had to shorten it?
“Pardon me, I’m Jessica.”
Names were exchanged and then Shawna politely asked, “What do you do?” Although she didn’t feel polite. She wanted to scratch Jessica’s eyes out.
Her gaze shifted to Ryan, who still stared at her. When he lowered his eyes to her bare shoulders, she experienced a sensation very much like a caress.
“I’m an interior designer,” Jessica answered. “I put all of this together.” She waved her hand in the general direction of the room and then plucked two cards out of a small purse.
Shawna didn’t take them, leaving Jessica’s hand hanging in the space between them because Ryan distracted her. The way his mouth looked. The way his eyes remained focused on her. Too late, she realized her faux pas, but Jerome mitigated the awkward moment and took the cards.
“How have you been?” Ryan asked.
“Well. You?”
“Same.”
“I thought you weren’t coming back for a couple more days.”
“I decided to cut my trip short.”
The intimate tone of their voices suggested they were sequestered in a corner somewhere instead of standing in the middle of a room with dates and other guests. Shawna’s pulse started an unrelenting beat in her throat. She wanted to pull him away from the other woman. She wanted to go somewhere and run her fingers through his hair, stake her claim by straddling him and peppering his skin with kisses.
Swallowing hard, her cheeks flushed with heat, Shawna lifted the hair off her neck. The room had become unbearably warm. She groaned aloud, the sound leaving her throat before she could do anything to stop it.
“You okay?” Jerome asked.
“I’m feeling a little out of it.” She fanned her face. “I’m going to run to the restroom. Excuse me.”
She hurried away as quickly as she could.
Chapter Twenty
Ryan scrubbed his hand across his jaw as he watched Shawna leave. He hadn’t intended to come to the party even though he’d received an invitation. His family had wanted him home and he’d agreed to visit while his sister was on spring break. Unfortunately, he’d barely slept a wink in Oklahoma and had not been the best company. Over his mother’s protests—and with a promise to make it up to them—he’d cut his trip short to sit at the airport on standby for hours, waiting for a flight back to Atlanta.
When he arrived at the party, Shawna had been easy to spot in a room full of dark suits and dresses because by contrast, she wore a powder-blue strapless cocktail dress. The color was striking against her beautiful dark skin and punctuated the indentation of her waist and curvature of her hips. It looked fantastic on her.
“Ryan!” Jessica’s voice sounded loud and irritated, as if she’d said his name more than once. He and Jessica had struck up a friendship about a year ago and referred business to each other from time to time. “Could you—”
“In a minute. I’ll be right back.” Without a backward glance at either Jessica or Jerome, Ryan set out in the same direction as Shawna.
When he found the ladies’ room, he pushed the door open, not caring if he startled the women who might be inside. Enough of this nonsense about space and taking things slow. Not seeing her had simply confirmed her necessity in his life.
He walked through the sitting room and pushed the other door that took him inside the bathroom. Stopping at the entrance, he saw Shawna and another woman standing in front of the mirrored wall. The woman was washing her hands and Shawna was patting her face dry, as if she’d splashed water on it.
Her wide-eyed gaze met his in the mirror. “You can’t be in here.”
Again, warm tingles rippled down his back at the sound of her voice. “I came in here to talk to you.” Actually, he wanted to do more than talk. He didn’t plan on leaving without touching some bare part of her body. He wanted a little skin-to-skin contact.
The other woman cleared her throat and muttered an “Excuse me” before walking out.
Shawna’s gaze darted to the door as it swung shut. She tossed the paper towel in the trash. “This isn’t exactly the best place or time to talk.”
“You’ll have to adjust because I want to talk now.” He walked closer and was overcome with the need to hold her. “Jessica is a friend.”
She lifted her chin. “I didn’t ask you anything about her.”
“You didn’t have to. I know you were wondering. I told you before I’ll answer any question you have. Just ask me.” He hated that guarded look in her dark brown eyes. He knew the reason for it was that h
e’d hurt her, and she associated him with pain. He’d been miserable the past week and a half without any contact between them, but how did she feel? “I missed you.”
Her gaze lowered, her long lashes shielding her eyes and hiding whatever she didn’t want him to see.
She moistened her lips with her tongue and his groin tightened at the slow movement.
“Shawna,” he groaned, stepping closer.
She moved backward as he heard the outer door swing open. Someone else was about to enter, and he still hadn’t gotten the answer to the question uppermost in his mind: did she want to be with him or not?
Quickly, he looped his arm around her waist and pulled her behind the louvered door of the first bathroom stall. The narrow space didn’t afford much room to maneuver.
The laughter and conversation of two females filled the bathroom. He didn’t let Shawna go, holding her close. The heat of her body seeped through the jacket and shirt and warmed his skin underneath. His breathing quickened as she pressed her palms against his chest.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Holding you,” he replied.
They listened as both women used the facilities. Ryan kept his eyes trained on her, but she avoided his gaze, looking at everything except him as an erection slowly hardened in his pants.
Minutes later, two toilets flushed and then he could hear the voices of the women again. Unable to withstand it any longer, he lowered his head to Shawna’s temptingly bare neck and took a slow drag. The scent of some floral bouquet swirled up his nostrils and almost made him groan. With his free hand he caressed the bare skin of one shoulder and trailed it up to the back of her neck. He thumbed the silky strands at the edge of her hairline.
Shawna inhaled sharply and the sound urged him to kiss the corner of her mouth.
She shivered in his arms. “Ryan, stop.” The voices faded as the women left them alone. “What do you want?”
“You know what I want.” He reached one hand up to cup her face, but she knocked it down and pushed him away.
The Blind Date Page 10