Nick flew back into her mind. She wanted Nick to care about her because he wanted to, not because she made him. That she understood. So was that the same with God?
Rona nodded her head, her throat tangled in emotion. She wanted to ask Shirley to change the subject, to let her think, but she feared the woman wouldn’t stop.
“That’s enough,” Shirley said. “You have something to think about. Let’s enjoy the tea while you tell me what’s wrong.”
It was as if Shirley had read her mind, and Rona’s pulse heightened.
“Are you living on the island now?”
Rona swallowed her emotion. “Not yet. I gave Bernie a two-week notice, but he’s already looking, so—”
“Why waste money on a motel, then? Would you like to stay with me for the next two weeks?”
“I was supposed to move to the island today.” The words slipped out before she could think to rephrase them.
Shirley’s expression changed to understanding. “Supposed to? So that’s your problem.”
“Something came up.”
“You were disappointed. I’m sure you looked forward to getting into your new home today.”
Rona felt her head nodding in agreement. “He didn’t call, but I’m sure he has a reason.”
“I know he does.”
How did she know? Her comment grated on Rona’s nerves.
“It’s trust, Rona. Somewhere along the way you lost trust in people. Now you don’t trust Nick or the Lord. Just work on trust. It’ll all come back. I promise.”
Rona set down her cup and fell back against the cushion. Trust. Nick. The Lord. How did Shirley work her way through a conversation and end up where she started? Rona had no idea what to say. Instead, she glanced at her watch.
“I’d better be on my way. I have a few things to do yet.” Getting away was the main thing. Rona lifted her shoulder bag from the floor and stood, seeing the disappointment on Shirley’s face. “Thanks so much for the tea.”
“I hope you won’t be a stranger.”
“No.” She embraced the woman. “I’ll have time off.”
“I’m afraid I scared you away.”
“You didn’t. I really need to get home.”
She rested her hand on Rona’s arm. “Then let me leave you with one thought. ‘Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.’”
The words smacked Rona. Shirley had finagled trust and the Lord back into the conversation. She meant well, Rona reminded herself. She turned the doorknob and stepped outside, giving Shirley a wave, then headed for her car hounded by a question.
If she believed she was right, why did Shirley’s talk about God and trust bother her so much?
Nick checked the time and leaned against his SUV headrest. He looked at the dark motel room and struggled with the situation. Why had this happened?
Rona seemed sensitive. He knew he’d upset her by not showing up earlier, but it had been out of his hands. He hoped she would understand.
Sometimes Rona grew so serious without any explanation. Yesterday in the apartment, he’d noticed her expression shift from a pleasant expression to a dark scowl. She did that on occasion and he was curious about what triggered the more serious look. He couldn’t deny that his own lighthearted feelings sometimes snagged on old memories and unexpectedly changed his mood.
Grateful Rona had accepted the job offer, Nick could only imagine how wonderful it would be to come home to living sounds in the house instead of the creak of a rafter or the skitter of a squirrel on the rooftop. They were lonely sounds and he longed for the day when laughter and happiness filled the house again.
He’d thought about dating. He’d even thought about marriage again one day. Gary needed a mother, but a big question held him back. He’d made mistakes in his marriage to Jill, but he didn’t know what they were. He saw her discontent and he had been at a loss to know what to do. Before he could figure it out, he’d seen his wife die with the turn of his head. The memory knifed through his gut.
Another car headed along the highway, but he’d given up hope. Though he knew Rona would have to arrive home soon, he’d waited over an hour and a half and it seemed senseless.
His pulse kicked as the car slowed and pulled into the motel parking lot. Rona. He recognized her sedan. Nick waited until she opened her door before he slid out and headed toward her. She turned to face him, concern on her face, but when she saw it was him, Nick saw her relief.
“I’m so sorry. I know I let you down.”
She brushed his words away. “No problem. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Yes, I do. I owe you my word. I said I’d be there at five.”
She slipped the motel key into the lock and opened the door a few inches before she faced him. “I hope you haven’t waited long. There was no need.”
He rested his hand on her shoulder and searched her eyes. He’d hurt her. She couldn’t cover that. “I said it already. I keep my promises, but I had a problem. Can we talk?”
She stood a moment without moving. “Really, Nick. I’m hungry, and I need to—”
“I haven’t eaten, either.”
She stood with her shoulder facing the door and motioned toward the street. “Then go ahead and have dinner. I’m fine. Shirley Bailey offered me a place for the next two weeks. I can stay there.”
Nick grasped both her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Can I come in for a moment? I’d like to explain.” He read her expression and decided to get hard-nosed. “I’m not leaving until I talk with you.” He released his grip and waited.
Finally she stepped inside and left the door open for him.
Nick followed, scanning the typical motel room, clean but small. One chair and the bed. He motioned to the chair. “Can I sit?”
She gave him a one shoulder shrug. “If you’d like.”
He didn’t respond but settled into the seat. It seemed obvious to him that someone had hurt Rona so badly that it continued to affect her relationships. The awareness saddened him.
Rona moved away from the chair and stood near the foot of the bed in front of the television set.
“I know you’re upset with me.”
“I’m fine. I told you.”
“I feel bad enough. Could you sit a minute and give me a chance to explain?”
She finally conceded and sank to the edge of the mattress and faced him.
“I had another to-do with Gary, but this time it was serious. He’d skipped school and the police picked him up with some boy I don’t know. I had to drive to St. Ignace to the sheriff’s department.”
“The police?”
“The boys had been drinking and driving, and the other boy ran off the road into a tree.”
For the first time, her expression changed. Her eyes darkened with his explanation and he witnessed real concern on her face. “Was Gary hurt?”
“I’m praising God he only had a few bumps and scrapes. I should have called you, but I left so fast I forgot my cell phone.”
She moved beside him and rested her hand on his arm. “Nick, don’t worry about it. I’m so sorry. And drinking. That’s so sad.” She leaned closer and shifted her hand to his arm. “So where’s Gary now?”
“The officer suggested holding the boys tonight. Gary got a little mouthy and they want to give him a scare. He was so drunk he didn’t know what he was doing. They put him in juvenile detention for tonight.”
“Is this the first time?”
“The first.” Nick’s chest ached from holding back his anguish. “But I don’t know where Gary’s life is going. He’s so angry. I’ll have to go back tomorrow and pay the bond to bring him home.”
Rona looked at him, her eyes rimmed with tears. “You don’t deserve this. I’m sure Gary will be sorry tomorrow and I know a night in jail will make the lesson real. It’s not a fun place.”
She spoke with such conviction it surprised him. “You know about jail?”
A startled expression flashed
across her face. “My brother.”
Though he wanted to probe, he controlled the urge. “Then you understand.”
Rona nodded and a sigh rattled from her. “I hope he learned his lesson.”
“Your brother?”
“No. Gary. I hope he realizes what he’s done.”
“That’s my prayer. I’m trying to give it to God.”
She looked downward and didn’t respond, and it was the first time Nick questioned whether or not Rona was a Christian, but he didn’t want to pursue it tonight. He needed to get out from under the pressure he felt in his chest.
Rona’s gaze captured his. “I’m sorry I acted rude. I’ve been disappointed so many times and I guess I fell back into the rut that I’ve come this far to avoid. Isn’t it sad how our troubles follow us?”
Nick understood. He’d let his own worst fears hammer him into the ground too many times. “I want to turn them over to the Lord. I know that’s what I’m supposed to do, but I hang on to them anyway. Until we can really let go and give problems to God, they’re like anchors around our necks.”
“I can relate to anchors.” She sent him the first grin he’d seen.
“Are you going to stay with Shirley Bailey or take me up on my offer? It’s easier moving only once.”
“I didn’t commit to Shirley. I—”
“Good. Then hopefully we can make the move tomorrow if all goes well with Gary.”
Her look softened and her eyes grew tender. “If not, we can take care of it after you get things settled with Gary. I can stay here another week if necessary.”
Nick knew then that she really did understand. “Thanks. They said he’d have a hearing sometime next week.” She sat close beside him and he felt almost as if he’d known her forever, though he didn’t really know her at all. “Tell me about yourself, Rona.”
A painful expression appeared. He didn’t want to force her to open up, but he felt impelled to know her better.
She released a sigh. “My mother’s dead. My father isn’t well. He’s been an alcoholic most of his life, as has my brother, who’s the one person I want to avoid. I married an alcoholic, unknowingly, and he died in a barroom fight.”
Nick hoped he’d managed to keep the shock from his face. She’d spit out her family history in one stream of dialogue without a breath almost, no emotion except bitterness, but could he blame her? “It sounds tough, Rona. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“I’m working for you. I suppose you have a right to know.”
But he saw a difference in her attitude. She appeared to feel stripped of dignity and horribly vulnerable. He longed to embrace her just as he’d done yesterday when she’d gotten teary-eyed. He wanted to let her know that she hadn’t been at fault, but she’d clearly considered him only an employer. His probing had put a barrier between them, he feared, and he had no idea how long it would take to open the door again.
“My mom died in a car accident, but my dad, heart-broken, struggled for many years, trying to raise me and a brother who ended up dying in the Middle East. My dad did the best he could. He raised us as Christians and gave us a good work ethic. Yours must have, too.”
“My mother did her best. She took me to Sunday school and church, but dad wanted no part of it. Lately, I don’t, either.”
Her comment threw him. He would never have guessed her attitude toward faith and as his question rose, he felt as insecure as stepping onto a log in a fast-running river. “Can I ask why?”
She didn’t respond.
Why had he pushed? “I don’t know when to stop, Rona. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t have an answer, Nick. It’s—”
Her voice faded away and whatever she’d started to say she stopped. He’d learned his lesson.
Rona gave him a direct look. “Can we talk about something else?”
Nick agreed, hoping they could recapture their earlier banter, but that wasn’t to happen. Not today. Sometimes his foot seemed to head for his mouth without being told to do so. He needed to spend a little knee-time learning how to regain Rona’s trust.
Chapter Eight
Rona had been careful not to say anything to anyone about Nick’s problem with Gary. If he wanted Bernie and the others to know, it was up to Nick to tell them. He’d called her cell in the afternoon to let her know that Gary was out on bond. He didn’t have all the details yet and she could hear the worry in his voice.
Mandy had plied her with questions all day about why she hadn’t moved to the island yesterday. She didn’t want to lie to her. Even though she’d given up on the Lord, she continued to cling to her Christian upbringing. Paradoxical, she knew, but Christian values were so ingrained in her that she couldn’t behave any other way.
Shirley’s words about trust and faith kept edging into her mind, with Nick’s strong faith adding to the pile of God-stuff she’d pushed aside. She didn’t like all the talk about the Lord because it reminded her she’d turned her back on Him and it caused her to think and ask questions. At times, she couldn’t even remember why she’d been so determined to pretend God wasn’t real.
In her heart, she knew He was, but He’d let her down so badly. Awareness knotted her senses. God had let down Nick, but his faith was as strong as ever. She didn’t understand that.
Rona grabbed her tip from the empty table and greeted two new customers who’d come in midday for coffee and Bernie’s great pies.
She’d felt antsy since Gary’s mess up. Now that she’d accepted the housekeeper job and had seen the apartment, she couldn’t wait to get into her own place and enjoy the sense of home she missed so much.
The other thing she missed was Nick.
Since the fiasco with Gary he’d been preoccupied. Though he’d dropped in most days, even if only for a few minutes, she could see his mind was filled with what ifs and worries about Gary. She’d asked how things were going, but he seemed reticent to talk about it and she knew he wanted to keep things as quiet as possible. In a small town that was a mean task.
Mandy skirted past her to clear a table—the busboy had missed work again—but when she came back, she caught Rona’s arm.
“You’ve been quiet. I thought you’d be thrilled leaving this place.”
Rona shook her head, surprised that she was a little nostalgic about leaving Bernie even if she’d worked there only a week. “I like it here, believe it or not.”
Mandy grinned. “So do I. So what’s up?”
“Anxious to move. I feel like I’m biding my time. I’m trying to find things to do. Last night I visited Shirley Bailey and took her a bouquet of flowers.”
Mandy gave her a poke. “Salving your guilt?”
“I suppose. She really wanted me to stay with her, but—”
“You don’t have to explain. I could live with my folks, too, but I like having a little place of my own. And I mean little. I would have invited you to stay with me, but I didn’t think you’d want to share a twin bed.”
Rona laughed. “Thanks for not asking.”
Mandy’s expression changed and Rona turned to see what had caused it. Nick. He looked so drawn and worried.
“I’ll let you talk with your boss,” Mandy said, sending her a wink that made Rona feel uneasy.
“Just teasing,” Mandy said as she scurried away.
Nick headed to a window seat and Rona followed. “You don’t need a menu, do you?”
“I have it memorized.” He gave her a silly look. “But I hope that’ll change very soon.”
Rona caught on and tried to put a smile on his serious face. “Did you hire a cook?”
His expression flickered with a faint grin, but it didn’t last. He patted the chair beside him. “Have a minute?”
She looked behind her, checking to make sure everyone had been taken care of, then settled onto the chair. “Problems?”
“No. It’s too quiet since the fiasco. Last night, I would have been willing to hear the infernal rock-and-roll noise that Gary calls music.�
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“You need to talk with him even if he doesn’t want to.”
“But how?”
She shrugged, having no idea, but she knew it had to happen.
“The hearing’s next Tuesday.”
She leaned closer, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes. “Tuesday.” She slipped her hand along the table and brushed his fingers. “You’re worried what will happen.”
“I’m trying to stay confident. First offense. I hate to think of him with a record. If only he hadn’t mouthed off—”
“Nick, they’ll be fair and whatever happens, maybe Gary will benefit. Things happen for a purpose.”
He gave her a questioning look and she realized that her faith had put that thought in her head again. What about bad luck? Coincidence?
“You’re right.” He slipped his other hand over hers and gave it a tender pat, then turned his eyes toward the window as if searching for an answer.
Rona didn’t interrupt him. He needed to think and she respected that.
Finally he gave his head a shake as if trying to loosen his thoughts. “I know you’ve had family problems. What made you leave home?”
“Are you afraid Gary’s going to run away?” Or did Nick feel like running away? The question set her on edge.
“No, although I wouldn’t put it past him. No, I just wondered, what was the last straw for you?”
The last straw. She wasn’t ready to talk about that, but maybe one day. She’d often wondered if she said all those things out loud if it would ease the pain. “I came here on a whim.”
“A whim? Without plans?”
“Exactly.”
His forehead wrinkled. “That doesn’t seem like you.”
“It hadn’t been, but I…was looking for change. Wanting to find myself. I know that sounds—” she struggled to find a word to describe it “—existential. Weird.”
“Existential? That’s a hundred-dollar word.” His look probed hers.
“I read a lot.”
“So do I.” He touched her arm. “And what you said doesn’t sound off-the-wall or existential to me. I’ve been trying to find myself for a long time. We have something in common.”
Family in His Heart Page 9