“I don’t want you going to a sperm bank. I know right now the idea sounds flipping crazy, believe me, he thought the same thing when I asked him. I’ve given it a lot of thought. Even before the doctor told me we shouldn’t have kids; I’d already figured that out. Please trust me that this can be a good thing. I want children. Gabe doesn’t want to settle down. He wants to live a little until he finishes the military.”
“He probably has an STD, or several STDs!”
“He doesn’t. He’s not as wild as everyone thinks. A lot of what you see is show.”
“So you just figured you’d get him drunk and—and….”
“No. I wouldn’t let him touch you drunk. I told him I want the two of you to go on a date, sort of. Take a weekend off together whenever your….” His face reddened.
“Whenever I’m what? Whenever I’m okay with shagging your best friend?”
“No. Whenever your—your cycle or whatever it’s called is right for getting pregnant. I honestly don’t think I could handle him fucking you more than once or twice.”
She burst into tears. Andy was completely serious. Did she like Gabriel that way? She’d kissed him when they were teenagers before she chose Andy. She remembered how hot that kiss had been. She’d been willing to go farther, but he seemed more interested in playing the field, so she backed off. She went out with Andy—and then fell in love. She couldn’t deny that Gabe had been a fantasy of hers for a long time, but she’d always felt so ashamed to be in love with one man and day-dreaming about another. Surely that wasn’t natural, right?
“Shhh, Baby. Please don’t cry. I know you’re thinking that somehow this is wrong, but I know I don’t want you going to some sperm bank and picking a guy out of a folder that we don’t know anything about. Gabe is my best friend. We grew up together. He’s a show-off and a hot-dogger, but underneath all that he’s a good person. And—and he’s—he’s always liked you. When we started dating he told me to go for it because you were the hottest chick on campus, and that you deserved a nice guy.” He dried her tears and kissed the tip of her nose. “Think about it tonight and tell me in the morning. And, Jen,” he said tipping her chin back so that she had to look at him. “It’s okay to tell me no, but I want you to understand it is okay to tell me yes, too. I want to have a baby with you, and this is the best solution.”
She didn’t sleep much at all that night. She laid there and wondered about what Andy had said to her. She did want a family, but with his best friend? Gabriel was a very beautiful man, but what if the unthinkable happened? What if she fell for him? She loved Andy with every ounce of her life, but what if Gabe changed all that? What if she got pregnant and then Andy changed his mind? She was pretty certain he’d never ask her to have an abortion, but what if he grew angry and bitter that the child she carried wasn’t his? No, she knew Andy too well. He would be a good father whether the baby belonged to Gabe or a random number from a sperm bank. He was right about that though; she didn’t want to pick an unknown. And what would they tell their families about how she got pregnant? Just before dawn she fell into a worried sleep.
She woke a little after nine to discover that Andy was already out of the bed. She smelled the aroma of coffee as she pulled on her robe and stumbled for the kitchen. Gabe was seated at the breakfast bar nursing a cup of Joe and looking rough. He looked at her and then immediately looked down at his cup.
Andy was already fixing her coffee. He knew how she liked it; two sugars and a ton of cream. He put it on the bar next to Gabe. She picked it up and left a chair between them.
“Did you decide?” Andy asked point-blank.
She felt the color drain from her face.
“Look you two,” he began, “we’ve got to be able to discuss this like adults, not like little kids hiding a dirty secret. Gabe, did you decide?”
She was shocked. She had assumed all along that Gabe told him yes. She never dreamed that he hadn’t given his answer.
Gabe looked up, first to Andy, but then he seemed to realize he needed to address the woman sitting near him. “Jennifer, I—I….”
She was certain he was getting ready to turn down the offer. The offer she had finally accepted just before dawn.
“I would be honored if you’d allow me to be the guy to—to provide a family for you two.”
She had an unintentional quiver roll up from the bottom of her panties to her solar plexus. He was keeping her in his dark blue gaze, waiting for her response.
Oh my god, she thought, my lips don’t work! She took a sip of coffee to thaw them apart. Both men were staring at her by this point. She still couldn’t speak.
“Jen,” Andy began.
“I—yes, okay. Yes I do want a baby.”
“Great!” Andy said sounding as chipper as if they had been discussing another rafting trip. He disappeared from the kitchen for a moment and then came out with her wall calendar in hand. “Okay, you finished your period three days ago and…”
“Andy!” She snapped, pulling the calendar from his grip.
“What? Baby, we’ve got to figure this out because he ships out in two months.”
“Forty-nine days,” Gabe corrected.
“See. We don’t have much time to plan. I googled all of this and next weekend should be perfect. The cabins up by the river would be a nice place to…”
“Andy stop, please,” she said, tears starting to form. “This is hard enough without you—you being so involved.”
“We could make this a three some,” Gabe offered sheepishly.
Jen cut her eyes toward him so hard you could almost hear the slice through the air.
“Or not,” he added and went back to staring at his coffee.
“I appreciate the offer,” Andy stated (to Jen’s utter amazement). “But, I don’t think I could be there watching you do her.”
“Then why….” She began.
“Because I’m okay with this as long as it doesn’t happen right in front of me or in our bedroom. Gabe is the only guy I’d ever trust with you. I know he’d—he’d never hurt you, Jen,” he stated as his emotions started to show. He may have been the one to plan this all out, but it was obviously difficult for him, too. “Friday afternoon,” he finally said sounding a little more in control. “Pick her up. I’ll make the arrangements.”
“But—but what about Candy? Aren’t you seeing each other?”
“No. We’re only friends,” Gabe stated with a little smile, confirming what Candy had already revealed. “I met her two weeks ago when I was leaving a club. She’d been there for a bachelor’s party, and I caught some asshole giving her a rough time in the parking lot. I beat the hell out of him; she and I have been buddies ever since.”
By the time Friday came around, Jen was a nervous wreck. She had changed her mind at least a hundred and fifty times during the week. At the moment she was back to ‘no-way-in-hell.’ Ten minutes later, Gabe’s truck was pulling into the driveway.
She watched him get out and walk up to the door. He was one of the best looking guys she’d ever met, besides Andy. She was up to ‘maybe,’ by the time he knocked. Andy had already told her goodbye. He said he didn’t want to watch them leave together. He was in the bedroom.
He knocked again.
Her pulse took off like a rocket. She opened the door and gave a weak smile.
He looked petrified. “Are you ready?”
She glanced toward the bedroom then back to Gabe. “I think so,” she said picking up her travel bag.
“Here, let me get that for you,” he said taking it from her shaking grip, but then pausing. “If you don’t want to do this, I understand, Jen. I’m not the guy you’re in love with.”
“No, but you’re a—a really wonderful friend—to both of us. Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Where’s he at?”
“He didn’t want to see us leave.”
“Jen, are you sure he’s okay. I mean I know this was his idea, but I’d never—I’d never do anything to hurt
either one of you.”
“I know that. He’s okay. It’s just hard.” She stepped out the door and headed for his truck.
Andy had reserved them a cabin on the river. It was a charming one bedroom unit with a fireplace. She had to laugh a little when she saw it. He’d always told her he wanted a house with a fireplace. It was hot outside, almost muggy near the water, but the air conditioner had been turned down to seventy inside.
Gabe carried in their bags, handing her a grocery bag. She opened it to find a bottle of red wine, cheese, crackers, fruit and chocolates.
She shook her head. “Look, I appreciate the whole seduction thing with the wine and goodies, but I’m thinking we’ll just get in bed, have sex and then you can take me home.”
It surprised her that he honestly looked hurt. But, she felt like she had to keep her guard up. She started unbuttoning her blouse.
“Whoa, Jen,” he said backing up a few steps. “I can’t do it this way.”
“What way?”
“I can’t just strip you down and do this like a freaking robot.”
“Well, I don’t know if I can do this any other way.” She was afraid to let this be anything other than mechanical. If she gave herself over to the idea of actually making love with Gabe instead of letting this just be about the sex, her heart might get tangled somewhere in those broad muscles.
“Let’s have some wine and at least talk a little bit because I don’t know if I can go through with this or not.”
She was shocked. She believed that she had been the only one with second thoughts. Perhaps Gabe was a little deeper than she’d always assumed.
Hours later in the early twilight, they were seated in front of a crackling fire, the bottle of wine nearly spent as they laughed, relaxed, and talked about their high school days.
“You must have shagged every girl at Eastside,” she laughed. The wine caused her legs to feel a little tingly and her stomach to radiate with a warmth that calmed her earlier nerves, loosening her tongue.
He actually blushed. “Nah, I didn’t make it with a girl until after graduation.”
“You’re kidding,” she said pushing his thick shoulder. “You were always chasing girls.”
“Chasing is a little different from catching them. I liked the chase, but when things got too close, I’d take off after another one just to keep them guessing.”
“Really? Well you sure fooled me. The way you kissed….” She stopped for a moment remembering the first time he kissed her. It had been passionate enough to make her melt inside. “I—I wanted you to be my first, but you….”
“I know. The problem was that you were different from the other girls and I knew if we took that step, I was going to fall for you—hard. That was when I told Andy to try for you, so I wouldn’t fall in—in love with you.”
She was speechless. Gabe had felt that strongly about her?
“I always wondered,” he continued. “If we had, do you think you’d have fallen for me?”
She couldn’t tell him. This was getting too deep. This was becoming exactly what she feared as this handsome man stared at her.
“I—I want to go home now,” she said and started to get up, but he grabbed her arm. Before she could fathom what was happening Gabe was kissing her. She started to pull away, but the kiss was so good that she found herself giving in. Every tense muscle released as she melted into his warm chest.
“Jen,” he whispered. “When Andy told me that he wanted me to get you pregnant, I freaked out. I’ve—I’ve been in love with you since eleventh grade. I understand that you don’t feel the same way about me, but if tonight isn’t about making love then I can’t go through with this. Could you at least pretend, just for tonight, that you love me?”
She closed her eyes and kissed him. “Make love to me, Gabe,” she whispered as her lips roamed from his mouth, over his cheek, and to his ear. “I’m scared to death, but I want you. I hope you don’t think I’m an awful person, but you’ve been a fantasy for me for a long time. I love Andy, but I’ve always felt something special for you.”
He pulled slightly back and lightly brushed her cheeks with his palms. “My god you’re so beautiful.” Then he was kissing her again, but this was different from before, this was a kiss that was strong and deep, filled with need and passion. He laid her back onto the thick rug as his trembling fingers began unbuttoning her blouse.
She gripped the base of his tee-shirt and pulled it over his head. Damn what a body. He had this whole Thor, Chris Hemsworth, thing going on with those prominent hip muscles that disappeared down the top of his jeans like a road map to the pleasures that lay beneath. She allowed her hands to wander over his firm skin, ending up on his pecs as she tweaked the tiny tight nipples with her nimble fingers. He moaned and closed the space between them.
He had her blouse open at this point, pulling her body into his as his hot mouth descended to the side of her neck and his fingers moved behind her to the hooks on her bra. Within a second he had it undone and the blouse was dropped as he pulled the straps from her shoulders.
“Not like this,” he whispered. “You deserve better than the floor.”
She felt him scooping under her, lifting her like a feather as she laced her arms around his neck and held on tightly.
Placing her down gently onto the bed, his scorching mouth lowered to her erect nipples, first the left and then the right, sucking, kissing and caressing them with skillful deliberation.
She couldn’t stop calling out his name, begging him not to stop what was happening. She heard the sound of the zipper to her jeans coming down as his mouth trailed from her chest to her abs, kissing all around her small navel. She felt the tug as he rested on his knees between her legs and began pulling her pants down. Her long tanned limbs slipped out, drawing her knees toward herself so he could finish taking them off without moving from where he was seated.
She was down to panties now, still scared to death, but so hungry to experience this man who had agreed to be a substitute for her husband. A man who would give her the children she’d always wanted. A man that admitted to loving her for many, many years. A man her heart had silently longed for, but never understood how deep that longing had been until now.
She felt his trembling fingers slip beneath the sides of her panties, and slowly pulled them off.
“I don’t think there’s going to be enough time tonight to tell you how beautiful I think you are, Jen.” His hand went to his chest and rubbed against it as if he was in pain.
“Are you okay?” She softly asked. “Is something wrong?”
In that moment his gaze locked with hers. They were silent for several seconds, and then he spoke. “You take the breath right out of my lungs. I’ve never been so freaking scared with a woman—ever.”
She sat up and leaned her cool skin against his ignited frame. She cuddled into him and placed a light kiss on his chest. “My turn,” she stated as she indicated for him to come up to the pillows and lay down. She straddled his jean covered groin for a little while as she allowed her tongue to dance with his in a sensual and needful kiss. She permitted her hands to explore his firm muscles from his biceps to his hips; he was stunning.
When her lips reached his sharply sculpted hip muscles, he was begging for her to take off his pants. She was surprised that he didn’t have any underwear under those jeans, shocked actually that the first thing to greet her eyes when she lowered the zipper was his tight erection, bulging, waiting, and eager for her touch.
He lifted his hips and helped her get the material over his rounded buttocks. She’d never seen someone with such tight and shapely glutes. She scooped his willingness into her hands and kissed the shaft as his moans turned to something close to cries. But he apparently couldn’t take too much of her touch.
He pulled at her shoulders, sliding her body over his, bringing her face to face with him. He appeared honestly surprised at the intimate position.
She was ready to reach down and g
uide him in, when he rolled her to her back, dwarfing her with his muscled body. His hand trailed down to the place between her legs that literally felt as if it was smoldering with pent up need. She gasped; his fingers slipped between her folds and danced in her silky moisture.
He was rubbing her clit in a tiny circle with his thumb while his index and middle finger worked inside her, and his mouth sucked in as much of her breast as he could. The sensation was peaking, pooling low in her body with a hunger to dive deep into the building orgasm. She couldn’t stop it now, there was no ending what he’d set in motion. She felt the spasm hit hard, causing her muscles to lock down on his fingers as it splashed through her senses as real as if she had dove into the river.
She started to cry out, but his mouth suddenly covered hers, his tongue as welcomed inside her as his fingers. She hadn’t planned to enjoy this time with Gabe, but it appeared that her body had its own agenda for tonight.
He was smiling as he pulled away from her. “I always wondered what it would be like to get you off.” He slid his thigh between her legs forcing them to part, and then bringing his body to be centered over her own. He reached down and grabbed his erection, sliding the head up and down against her entrance. “My god,” he whispered.
“What?”
“I’ve never had sex without a condom.”
“Never?”
“I didn’t expect there to be such a difference in the sensation.” He kissed her once more and began to ease himself inside.
Her hips were rising and falling, trying to draw him in deeper, but he countered her plea with his decision to savor this moment slowly.
“I—I—can’t take it,” she begged. “I want all of you, please. I need you deep inside me, Gabe. I—I—ahhhh….” The sensation was mounting again. She’d never had two orgasms so close, but she could tell he was driving her over the top once more. “Now, Gabe—please. Please, now!”
Suddenly all the power in those muscled hips and glutes plunged for the bottom of her desire. It was painful, but only momentarily as his hips seemed to lock inside her own sending her crashing into sensations, again.
The Substitute Page 2