by Lynn McCain
“You must go! Go now, Lily! I promised Calev I would get you out of here. He could not bear to lose you. I couldn’t talk him out of it. Now, please go, Lily, before they reach us!”
“Maleke,” I cried.
“I’m sorry,” is all he said as he opened the door before me and shoved me through to the other side.
Chapter 14
I woke up in my bed at Grandfather’s. The warm blankets enveloped me. Mother sat on the bed beside me with her hand laying across my waist. As my eyes began to focus, I saw a tear fall from her cheek. Peering deep into my eyes, she embraced me with all of her might. All the while crying.
“Lily, oh Lily. You’re all right. How do you feel dear? You have been out for days. The gardeners found you in the woods unresponsive. Do you remember what happened?”
I glared around the room. My chest tightened underneath my clothes. A lump in my throat forbad me from speaking, and my heart exploded within my chest. What was happening? Why was I back at Grandfather’s? Why was Mother being so kind? Where was Calev? Calev, oh yes! I wanted to scream out; yes, I remember! Yet still the lump remained in my throat. Or was it vomit at the sight of Mother before me? This wicked creature disguised as one so dear. The very sight of her filled me with rage.
I pulled back away from her, knocking her arm off of me.
“Lily!” she screamed. “What is the matter with you?”
I slid my legs off of the bed and raced out of the room. I wanted to get as far away from her as possible. As I darted down the hall, I passed by a large mirror that hung beside an even larger picture of Grandfather. I became paralyzed. My reflection, it was that of a girl. Let me clarify, a young girl. I warily approached the polished metal that stood before me. I placed my hand on top of its surface, and she too complied. We stood staring into one another’s eyes until our gaze was broken by the sound of Mother in the distance. I looked back toward the girl, but she was gone. Only my reflection now stared back at me. The girl was me but I knew deep down inside that she would never return. The innocence in her eyes was now clouded with hate and a burning distaste toward those she once loved.
Mother approached and softly placed her hand on my shoulder. I shuddered. Although I knew she had no memory of her former life, the one that included Arcadia, I still could not bring myself to trust her. As a matter of fact, from that moment on I refused to even call her Mother. She became only Elizabeth to me.
The days that followed all seemed to mix together. I thought daily of Calev, Henry, and the others. The only thing I had to convince myself that it was not just some crazy dream was the tattoo upon my wrist and the necklace that Shim had given me upon my departure. I found myself fidgeting with it constantly, never removing it, ever! Many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking of Henry and Calev. Even so, I was glad I had not known how it all would turn out. I might have changed everything. There were still times though I hated them both. I hated that I missed them; I hated that I would never know their lips again, and I hated hating them.
*
Elizabeth and I, well I guess you could say we have somewhat went back to at least speaking. I know it’s not really fair to treat her so badly when she has no idea why, but I just don’t care. Within her heart lies a wickedness that I have seen, and I will never forget it. She is too me, hardly a person. Yet, I will remain in this house, the one we share, knowing someday I will again leave this place. Even though, I have most certainly lost Calev and probably Henry as well, the thought of returning to their world gives me the strength to continue living in mine.
Tonight I sat under the stars in Eden. I would have given anything to see the fairies descend upon me. I have gone several times back in to the woods searching for a way back home, yet fate has brought me here, or is it something greater, maybe destiny. Eden’s hold on me is only temporary. I feel its grasp loosen with each passing day. Something within me knows that this won’t last forever, my life in Eden. Arcadia has been pulling me back to it from the moment I left, and every time I look into a mirror I see the baby with the red eyes staring back at me. I know it is he that beckons me to return. Even so, I have chosen to enjoy this life, the one I have now. I hope one day I will again gaze into Calev’s eyes, even if he only sees a stranger staring back at him, and I wish to have the pleasure of Henry’s company once more, so I will live with the woman who betrayed me in the house that changed me, all for a chance to return. And in spite of everything, I choose to be happy. My entire life my choices have been made for me, the path always leading to Arcadia. So today, simply because I can, because it is within my power, today, I choose happiness and no one can take that away from me.