Julia had told her the secret to wearing something different was to act as though she wore such clothes each and every day, as though it were nothing unusual. But Lettie feared she didn’t have the confidence to manage it, especially not in front of her family. Still, she attempted a mask of confidence along with a small smile.
Violet and Dalia’s mouths dropped open as she entered the room. Their mother turned to see what had caught her daughters’ attention and her jaw joined theirs. None of them said a word as they looked her up and down.
Lettie felt her mask begin to slip, prepared to return to her room and not attend the ball after all. That sounded far more appealing than listening to what her family might say.
“Oh, my,” Holly exclaimed. She often saw them off as she liked to see how everyone looked. Her eyes grew round and she came forward to walk around Lettie. “You look—”
“Where did you get that gown?” her mother asked as she continued to stare at her.
Lettie lifted her chin. “Julia and I went shopping today, remember? She helped me select it. You’ve always appreciated her taste. Isn’t it lovely?”
“It’s very...bright.” Her mother frowned. “That’s hardly an appropriate color for an unmarried woman.”
“But Mother, she’s engaged now,” Violet reminded her. “This is the perfect color for a woman soon to be married.”
Heat coursed through Lettie’s cheeks at the lie she’d perpetrated.
“Wait until your captain sees you,” Dalia whispered as she, too, circled around Lettie with a grin. “You look so beautiful.”
“Thank you.” The support of her sisters bolstered her courage. She hadn’t expected support from anyone, especially not her mother as she didn’t adjust well to change.
“I’m sorry to have kept everyone waiting,” Rose said as she entered the room. She looked up from having adjusted her glove to see Lettie. “Oh.”
Lettie waited, knowing that if Rose showed her even the smallest support, her mother would hold her tongue. But if Rose declared the gown wrong, her mother would join in the fray.
“Oh, Lettie.” Rose stepped to one side and then the other until at last her gaze met Lettie’s. “You look beautiful.”
Tears of relief filled Lettie’s eyes. “Thank you.”
“I had no idea that color would be so becoming on you,” Rose continued. “Between the glow of happiness your betrothal has brought and this gown, you are stunning.”
Lettie laughed. She knew she was far from stunning. But in truth, she felt different in this gown. Or perhaps it did have something to do with being engaged, even if it was only a temporary business arrangement. She swallowed hard. For tonight, this one night, she would put away that secret. This might be one of only a handful of balls she would attend as an engaged woman rather than a wallflower. Why not enjoy it?
“Will Captain Hawke be in attendance this evening?” her mother asked.
“I believe so.”
“Well...” She continued to study Lettie with a critical eye. “I suppose we shall see what he thinks of your attire.”
“I know what he will think,” Dalia said with a giggle. “He’ll want to take you out to the garden for a private moment or two.”
Violet and Rose joined in the laughter but their mother did not.
“I would take this moment to remind all of you that our behavior must be above reproach if Rose is to keep the duke’s interest. Now let us be off. Your father is arriving separately.”
With that, they bid Holly farewell and made their way to the carriage. As they drew closer to the Galvert’s home only a few blocks away, Lettie’s nerves returned. What if Nathaniel didn’t like her new appearance? What if he wasn’t even there?
Dalia elbowed her in the ribs. “Stop worrying,” she whispered. “All will be well.”
The footman assisted them out of the carriage one by one. As was her habit, Lettie lingered in the rear. Rose looked beautiful in a new soft pink silk gown, the ruffles and lace making her look like a princess. But when her sister was nearly at the door, she turned and waited for Lettie so they might walk in together.
“I will give you the same advice you so cleverly gave me,” Rose whispered. “Be yourself. That is what attracted him to you in the first place.” With a smile, she looped her arm through Lettie’s as they made their way inside.
After greeting their hosts, they entered the ballroom. Lettie was certain Nathaniel would arrive later as he normally did. But as she approached the few steps that descended into the ballroom, Nathaniel stood waiting.
He glanced up at their approach, staring at her as though he didn’t know her at first, then as though he was puzzled by the changes.
Lettie’s heart sank to her knees.
~*~
Nathaniel couldn’t believe his eyes. The stunning woman before him looked like Letitia, yet she didn’t. The vivid emerald gown made her skin glow and turned her hair to gold. She was beautiful as she’d always been, but the differences in her clothing and hair enhanced her beauty, causing him to catch his breath.
Pride swirled with desire as he reached out his hand to take hers and escort her down the stairs. He felt the tremor in her gloved hand and reached with both hands to hold it. “You look so beautiful, Letitia.”
She smiled at him, squeezing his hand in return. “Thank you.”
“I am amazed. You’ve always been beautiful but...” He couldn’t put words to his thoughts.
“You are very kind.”
“No. Actually, I am not. But being with you makes it easy to be.”
“Good evening, Captain Hawke,” a woman’s voice interrupted him.
He turned to see the woman who had been so cruel to Letitia at the first ball he’d attended this Season. He watched with pleasure as she glanced at Letitia, her eyes widening as she realized who stood next to him. “You remember Miss Fairchild, my betrothed.”
The woman’s mouth gaped even wider. “Betrothed? Lettie?”
“Lady Samantha,” Letitia said with a cool tone.
Why Letitia even bothered to be kind to the woman was beyond him. But it gave him no small measure of satisfaction to see how astounded the woman was by Letitia’s appearance.
He leaned closer to the woman. “Haven’t you heard? You should never judge a book by its cover.” Without a second glance, he turned back to Letitia. “Will you dance with me, my sweet?”
She smiled warmly, holding his gaze. “I would love to.” She looked at the woman still standing near them as though she’d almost forgotten she was there. “Excuse us, won’t you?”
~*~
Lettie couldn’t have been more pleased with Nathaniel’s reaction. His was the one who mattered. Leaving Samantha on the edge of the dance floor while she went to dance was a nice plus. She’d nearly reminded her to close her mouth, that it was unattractive when agape.
But she’d decided it best to hold her tongue. After all, in another month, she would return to her place standing on the edge of the dancers.
“What is it?” Nathaniel asked as he turned her slowly to begin their dance.
“What?”
“Your glow dimmed ever so slightly. I want to know the cause. Would you prefer not to dance? I realize I am not the most nimble partner.”
“Oh, no. I enjoy dancing with you,” she reassured him. “It is nothing of consequence.” Or rather, it was only of consequence to her. But she reminded herself this was her night, and she intended to enjoy every moment of it. “Are you certain this isn’t too much for your leg?”
“Not at all.” He nodded at another man on the dance floor. “Word of our engagement seems to have spread quickly.” He sounded quite proud of the fact.
“Indeed. Everywhere I’ve gone, someone congratulates me.” Her gaze narrowed ever so slightly. “How did your brother take the news?”
“Well enough.”
“Did you tell him the full truth? Perhaps that would smooth things over.”
“How do yo
u mean?”
“Only that it would surely ease his worries if he knew ours was a temporary partnership.”
When he stared at her in confusion, she had to wait until the movements of the dance allowed them to speak again. “You can’t tell me he was pleased that you’d offered marriage to a wallflower who’s seen her fifth Season with no offers. After all, you’re a captain.”
“I’m not the heir.”
She frowned, not understanding his point. “I’m well aware of that. What difference does that make?”
“It matters a great deal.”
“To who?” she asked.
“Everyone.”
The emphasis he put in the word caused her to study him more closely. She knew she’d struck some sort of nerve, but for the life of her, she couldn’t understand what.
The music ended, and they moved to the outskirts of the dancers. She gestured toward an alcove, hoping they could speak privately for a moment.
Nathaniel reluctantly complied.
“I believe you’re confused,” Lettie began. “I’m the one who was on the shelf until you—” She caught herself before she said ‘proposed’. This was only pretend. And that made all the difference in the world. She couldn’t allow herself to forget for even a moment. “Suggested this arrangement.”
“A proposal from the likes of me is hardly worthy of celebration. Nor does it do anything to improve your status, I’m sorry to say.” His self-deprecating smile saddened her. “I’m a second son.”
Anger filled Lettie at his words. “You are an amazing man. Your birth order doesn’t change that. Nor does a title or lack thereof.”
Nathaniel appeared taken aback at her vehemence. But she couldn’t help it. How could he question for even a moment how valuable his existence was?
“How many lives did you save while earning that drawer full of medals?”
He shook his head, once again dismissing her point.
She continued on anyway. “I can only imagine the risks you took and the number of lives you saved. And you continue to do the same thing here.” The pain in the depth of his eyes twisted her heart.
What had caused this doubt? She reached out to place her hand on his chest, wishing for the privacy to do more.
“You are an amazing man, Nathaniel. Not because of your name or title, but because of who you are. You prove it in your actions each and every day.” The words to tell him how she truly felt were on the tip of her tongue, but she closed her mouth firmly. Those words would not aid him. More likely, they would add one more obligation to the many he already shouldered.
She hated the idea of adding to his burden when he had so many. But she wanted him to truly understand what a difference he was making in the world. In her world. For that, she would always be grateful.
“Thank you, Nathaniel, for all you’ve done and continue to do. You are a blessing in so many ways.”
His gaze held hers for a long moment before dropping to her mouth. To her surprise, he leaned forward and kissed her. “As are you, Letitia.”
Shock held her to the spot—both at his gesture and his words. How could she possibly guard her heart against this man?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“In a recent report made to the Commissioners of Sewers for London, Dr. Letheby says: “I have been at much pains during the last three months to ascertain the precise conditions of the dwellings, the habits, and the diseases of the poor. ...where from three to five adults, men and women, besides a train or two of children, are accustomed to herd together like brute beasts or savages; and where every human instinct of propriety and decency is smothered.”
~ The Seven Curses of London
“Thank you for seeing me home,” Lettie said as she settled in Nathaniel’s carriage. Though she feared it was a mistake, she hadn’t been able to decline when he offered.
Not after the evening had been nearly perfect. She and Nathaniel had danced three times, much to her delight though she knew it was no small feat for him. Several people had visited with them, offering their congratulations. He’d spent much of the evening by her side. It had been a new experience for her.
Never mind that it was all a lie.
But she was determined to ignore that for this one night along with the danger in which she was placing her heart. Each considerate, attentive gesture he performed softened the few defenses that remained, leaving her vulnerable. Did he realize the power he now had over her?
“My pleasure. Having a few moments of privacy will allow us to update each other on our progress.”
Disappointment speared through Lettie. She’d hoped he wanted to spend time together, yet since they’d entered the carriage, he was keeping her at a distance. Perhaps his only purpose in offering her a ride home was to discuss their work.
“Is your leg hurting?” she asked, wondering if it could be the cause for his sudden reserve.
“Not terribly.”
Then what could be wrong?
A part of her had hoped her improved appearance would convince him to dismiss the temporary part of their agreement, that it might make him desire her.
Now she had to wonder if she’d imagined his earlier affection.
Unable to resist testing the waters, she patted his thigh with her gloved hand, lingering along the muscled length. “I hope it doesn’t bother you later this evening after dancing several times.”
He jolted at her touch, sending a tingle of awareness through her. Maybe he did feel something for her after all. This attempt to explore passion was new to her, and she had yet to determine how to tell if he was truly attracted to her or what she might do to make him so.
She left her hand on his thigh, waiting to see if he’d remove it. Where her sudden bravery came from, she didn’t know. Perhaps it was a side effect of her new appearance or their betrothal. Surely being engaged had advantages, even if the arrangement was temporary. A certain intimacy was one of those, wasn’t it?
Her heartbeat raced at the thought.
Nathaniel shifted in his seat as though uncomfortable. Before she could decide if she should remove her hand, he placed his own on top of hers, molding her fingers over his thigh. Though several layers of cloth separated them, she could feel the heat of him, and it stirred something deep inside her.
“Letitia?” he whispered as his gaze caught hers in the soft glow of the carriage light, his expression unreadable.
“Yes?”
“Would you care to come home with me so we might discuss matters in a more...comfortable setting?”
Heat pulsed through her entire body. Though she hoped his question meant what she thought it might, she was equally terrified it did.
Yet what if this was her one and only chance to have more time with him? “That is an excellent notion.”
He tapped twice on the roof of the carriage, apparently signaling the driver to deliver them to his home instead of hers. He kept his hand on top of hers as they changed course but made no attempt to take her into his arms.
Confusion reigned as she tried to quell her hope. Maybe he only wanted to discuss what she’d learned about The Book of Secrets. Unfortunately her efforts to discover anything had been less than successful. Should she tell him so now?
But when Nathaniel moved his hand to rest on her thigh, all such thoughts flew out the window. The intimacy was unmistakable though what he intended was still uncertain. Did she dare hope he’d make her his in full? She told herself she could barely feel the warmth of his fingers through the silk gown and the layers beneath it, but that didn’t matter. Heat spread upwards from the single point of contact.
She drew a long, slow breath, reminding herself that she need only enjoy the moment.
Before long, the carriage drew to a halt, and they exited the conveyance and entered his home.
“Good evening, Miss Fairchild.” Dibbles greeted her with a warm smile as he opened the door.
“How are you this fine evening?” she asked.
“Well, tha
nk you. May I say you look lovely?” he asked as he took her cloak.
“Why thank you, Dibbles.”
Nathaniel escorted her into the drawing room. Dibbles followed, lighting the fire previously laid before taking his leave, closing the door behind him.
Nathaniel poured her a glass of sherry and himself some brandy before joining her on the long settee before the fire. Despite it being June, the fire’s warmth was welcome, as were the flickering flames, which created a cozy glow in the room.
“I believe our engagement has been a success thus far,” Nathaniel said as he settled beside her but not touching her.
That he’d used the word ‘engagement’ didn’t escape her notice. “It seems so. My mother is still adjusting to the news.”
“Her eldest daughter becoming betrothed is a significant event.”
“Perhaps.” She knew there was more to it than that, but she didn’t care to discuss it. Not tonight. Moments like these were not to be wasted on such things.
She took a sip of sherry as the silence grew long. Uncertain what other topic she could raise, she said, “Unfortunately, I have discovered little about the book. The bookstores I checked with that specialize in such things don’t have it and couldn’t offer any information on it.”
“I appreciate you trying.”
“I’m not giving up yet. There are more shops I intend to visit as time permits.”
He smiled. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” His gaze shifted to her hair, and he reached out to finger a loose strand alongside her face. “You truly do look lovely tonight.”
“Thank you. I went shopping with Julia today. Her modiste suggested a few changes. Now that my mother believes me to be engaged, she can no longer insist I wear pastels.” She bit her lip before she shared any other ridiculous details. Her nerves were getting the better of her.
“That makes me even more grateful we’re...betrothed.” He leaned closer and captured her lips.
Loving the Hawke (The Seven Curses of London Book 1) Page 22