by Fisher, K. T
Kendal gives me a little smile as she places mine and Finley's bacon sandwiches down in front of us.
"Finley?"
He looks up at me as he begins to bite into his food.
"We're going somewhere special today."
Finley has a big mouthful of food so he's unable to talk. Kendal sits down at the table beside us and smiles excitedly at Finley.
"We're going to watch daddy play on a big stage."
Finley quickly swallows his food and stares at me wide eyed.
"With Decoy?"
I laugh.
"Yes Finley."
He jumps up and down in his seat nearly squealing.
"When?"
"Soon."
Kendal answers as she picks up Finley's dropped sandwich on the floor.
All the while Kendal and I get ready to leave; Finley asks again and again when ‘’is time to go?’’ When the limo buzzes at the house gates I feel like cheering.
I shout for Kendal to let her know and when I see her running down stairs to meet me and Finley at the door, I can't help but stare at her. She looks so fucking sexy that I almost tell her to go and get changed. Almost, I'm not an idiot. She has on a loose fitted black lace jumper, little shorts and her biker boots. Kendal's legs look amazing and as I stare, images of me gliding my tongue along them from last night come to mind. By the time she's beside me I'm panting like a dog.
Luckily Finley breaks my attention away when he sees the limo and he starts to shout and jump about.
On the drive to the festival I listen proudly as he talks excitedly about seeing us play. I can't fucking wait.
~Kendal~
When we sat down in the limo; I sat in between Leo and Sophie. Jax sat straight opposite me, Finley wanted to sit with Rhys and Max at the back.
Throughout the drive to the festival I could feel Jax's eyes on me. Lately I have been finding fun in teasing him all day long, so when we go to bed at night or sometimes as soon as Finley has gone to sleep he can't control himself a minute longer. I know how much he likes my legs so today I wore my little denim shorts to flaunt them. I knew by the way he looked at me when I came downstairs that I had been right to wear them.
While I knew I was holding his gaze I innocently lick my lips. I fight to hold back my smile because then my little innocent act will be over. I cross my legs and include myself in Sophie and Jessica's conversation. I run my hand over one of my legs down to my ankle, just looking like I'm brushing something off my leg. Then because I can still feel his sight on me I adjust my boobs in my bra, making them jiggle a little and bite on my bottom lip.
I can't help but take a little peak at him from the corner of my eye, his jaw looks tense and his eyes are narrowed on me. The look on his face makes me smile and as soon as I do Jax has moved Leo from next to me and sat himself beside me instead.
"You fucking little tease."
He quietly growls into my ear causing all sorts of dangerous reactions to my body.
When we drive into the performing entrance to the festival I'm surprised to see screaming fans holding posters and banners jumping about behind a little fence.
The limo stops beside a huge black bus; I'm guessing it's Decoy's tour bus. I can still see and hear the fans and I can't help but start to feel a little insecure. As each band member stands out the cheering gets louder but when Jax steps out its insane. He turns and holds his hand out for me to help me out the limo. One step away from the limo door Jax pulls me towards him and kisses me. It calms my nerves even though the fans have started screaming and cheering louder. Finley runs from Rhys to hold onto mine and Jax's hands. I can now even hear a few shouts of Finley's name. Being Jax's charming son, Finley just waves a single hand in the air and carries on walking with one hand in mine. Finley isn't affected by this at all.
The tour bus is huge and very modern. When Jax told me we would be waiting on their tour bus until it was time for the band to make their way to the stage area, I wasn't too thrilled.
I had images of a dirty unkempt, dark bus. I expected a totally stinking mess if I'm totally honest, but I was pleasantly surprised. As I sat down next to Maisy I couldn't help but think about what kind of things that probably have happened on this bus. But as soon as I do start thinking I have to stop myself.
It's not that long when their manager Spencer, a short and round man, informs us that it's time to make our way to the stage area. We all walk together to the sounds of bands and the loud crowds, John and Paul flanking us. Finley holds Jax's hand all the way, jumping along at his side. It's so incredible to watch them both; and I feel so happy for Jax. He hasn't stopped talking about how excited he is for Finley to finally watch him.
We reach the stage area, there are a number of people running around the vicinity and a few security guards scattered about. The loud noise of the band currently on stage fills the entire area. Jax is handed his guitar and begins talking to a roadie. Max, Leo and Rhys do the same and then eventually talk to each other, making themselves into a little circle as they talk privately. I've seen this so many times that it feels like I've returned home.
Finley is now holding onto my hand.
"What are they doing?"
"They're getting ready."
"When are they going on that stage?"
He points to a gap where you can see the stage from the side angle.
"When that band has finished."
It seems only five minutes passes when the band announces that it's their last song. Toward the middle of the song Jax runs over to us and gives me a hard kiss.
"So happy I have you by my side again baby."
He crouches down to Finley's level and holds him in a hug.
"I'm so happy you can watch me Fin."
Finley laughs as he attacks his face with a number of kisses. The band on stage finish and I see a woman walk on stage as the band exits. I hear Jax tell Finley he loves him just as the woman on stage shouts "Decoy!" He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead, tells me that he loves me and runs towards the stage. As the other band leaves and their people follow, we can move closer to watch Jax and the guys perform from the side of the stage.
Jax is absolutely amazing; his energy on stage is just as it always has been. The crowd loves them all; as they cheer loudly, the guys absorb the fans energy and feed of it. In return they are jumping and bouncing about, giving the people all of their sweat and energy. It's amazing to watch, but I can't keep my eyes away from Jax. Finley is beside me jumping around like crazy, singing the words and trying to copy Jax.
Jax's voice sends chills all over my body and I didn't realise how much I missed this but being here I see I missed it so fucking much.
As the show comes to an end my vision is blurred by my tears.
"Daddy is the best rock star mummy!"
Finley shouts and I swear Jax heard him because he turns toward us and smiles. I pick Finley up, kiss his cheek then I silently apologise for keeping him away from this. We watch the last song with Finley in my arms. We both sing the words together along with Jax. When Jax ends Decoys set he turns to face me and Finley and shouts into his mike.
"I love you!"
The crowd screams and I smile back at him as he walks back towards us.
Chapter 20
~Jax~
When our set has finished at the festival, we all head home. We might have stayed a little longer if it wasn't for Finley being there and with Sophie and Rhys wanting to have a barbecue.
During Decoy's performance on stage I couldn't help but to keep looking over at my two favourite people. I was so fucking happy to see Kendal back where she belonged, at my side backstage and cheering me on. I have always loved being on stage, giving the crowd my all but when I looked over and saw Kendal with Finley in her arms as they sang my lyrics, I wanted to run off stage and be with them.
On our walk back to the waiting limo, which was parked near our tour bus, I didn't miss the way men looked over to Kendal as she passed. If Finley wasn't
here, I'd be shouting abuse over at them, letting them know what I would do to them if I saw them looking at my girl like that again. My son is here though so I have to make do and give the fuckers a death glare. When they catch me glaring there way, they look away quickly and practically run off. Yeah that's what I thought, she's Jax Parker's woman.
The limo takes me, Kendal and Finley back to our house while everyone else goes to Rhys and Sophie's. I take a quick shower, and we get in the Mercedes together. I know Rhys' is only around the corner but I can't be dealing with paparazzi right now.
Kendal sets Finley in his seat and gets in beside me. Her delicious legs are still on show so when she is sat next to me I reach out and touch her bare thigh. She gives me a knowing smile the cheeky little minx. She has been teasing me all day.
"Did you enjoy the show?"
Finley shouts from behind us.
"Yeah! You were a rock star daddy!"
I laugh and look back at my gorgeous girl. I can't tear my eyes away from her and by the looks of it, Kendal can't take her eyes off me either. Kendal's eyes begin to shine and she nods.
"I loved it."
I grip tighter on her leg.
"I loved you two being there with me."
Little pools line the bottom of her eyes and she whispers.
"I love you."
I take her hand and softly kiss her knuckles.
"I love you too."
Finley starts again.
"Ewwwww."
This makes us both laugh.
"Mummy and daddy are getting married."
Finley sings and Kendal's eyes go wide; I'm pretty sure mine look the same. I look back to Finley.
"What?"
"You said I love you so now you can marry mummy."
He made is sound so simple. What exactly is stopping me?
I look back to Kendal and she's still wide eyed and looks a little pale. She looks scared to death by the idea of becoming my wife.
~Kendal~
With Finley bringing the car into silence, Jax decided it's time to start the car.
As he drives my thoughts spin wildly in my head. It's not that I don't think Jax loves me, I know he does but is he ready for marriage? Maybe that's a step too far for Jax. I would love nothing else to be Jax's wife and share his last name. Jax has a bad boy rocker image so would he want to be seen as a husband and so normal? With Rhys it's a different matter because Rhys is the sweetheart of the band.
As soon as we have parked in Rhys and Sophie's drive I literally jump out of the car. Jax helps Finley and we walk up to the house together. Jax still hasn't said anything.
Rhys is the one to open the door just before we have time to knock. Finley runs straight inside, while Jax and Rhys exchange a few words I follow Finley's example and scamper into the house. I need to rant about my thoughts to someone. With Tanya trying her best to contain her inner bitch over the whole Leo situation; I can't really go to her. So I go about finding Jessica and Sophie. I don't think about ranting away to Maisy because that isn't her at all, so I know not to bother her with my shit.
When I spot Jessica I'm relieved to see she is already talking with Sophie however she's also standing with Maisy and Max. When I quickly approach them they immediately stop laughing as their eyes land on me. Maisy turns an eyebrow up in question and I nod, she knows me so well. Maisy smiles as she huffs and turns to walk away but Max grabs onto her arm.
"Where are you going?"
That's a bit odd of Max but Maisy just shrugs her shoulders.
"Kendal wants to rant. I don't know about you but I don't wanna listen."
She walks away and I watch Max as he doesn't take his eyes off Maisy. He then turns to me.
"Rant?"
"A bitch."
Jessica confirms for him. Max looks a little alarmed.
"You can go."
It's obvious he looks relieved.
"Thanks."
When Max goes Sophie leads us to a secluded part of her garden so we can talk.
"OK, let us have it."
I pour everything out that has been bothering me. From what Finley had asked to the thoughts driving me crazy.
"Obviously he doesn't want to marry me."
Sophie shakes her head at me.
"I think he does honey. Anyone can see he's crazy about you."
"That doesn't mean he wants to marry me."
"Would that really matter?"
Jessica asks me and I think about that for a second.
"No, I suppose not."
"Then what's the problem?"
I turn around and see Jax and Finley playing. It's not a problem at all because I'm perfectly happy already.
"It just hurts."
Sophie grabs a hold on my shoulder.
"Just give him some time."
I manage to give her a small smile. I let my eyes wander around the little party, I spot Tanya and Leo standing face to face. Leo looks like he's begging and could drop down onto his knees at any moment but Tanya's having none of it. Shaking her head at whatever Leo is saying. James approaches and Tanya walks away. I'm now thinking I'm going have to run over and stop a fight between the two but instead I see James pat Leo on the shoulder. If I wasn't so upset at the look on Tanya's face, I would have been so happy at the sight of friendship between my two sets of friends. Maisy slowly strolls up to us with a smirk on her face.
"The bitch fest over?"
"It wasn't a bitch."
Sophie replies.
"No, more like a moan."
Jessica adds.
"I was not moaning."
"You were a little bit."
Sophie laughs and I can't help but laugh along. I stop laughing though when I see Max talking to Tanya. Max has his hand on her shoulder and Tanya is looking down at the floor. The girl looks towards what has caught my attention.
"I think we need to step in before Leo rips Max apart."
I look to Leo and see Maisy is right. Leo is glaring at Max while Jax and Rhys are talking to him. Whatever is happening between those two is definitely not nothing like what Tanya had told me.
Eventually we return to the party and I see Max is watching Maisy as she walks closer to him.
"Seems you have an admirer."
I whisper to her. Sophie who is on the other side of Maisy hears me and looks at Max who still has his eyes on Maisy.
"Interesting."
I can see the match making schemes calculating in her mind. Maisy blushes and peaks up at Max then looks back to me.
"We're just friends."
I'm about to say something but Jax appears and like a silent demand the girls all leave us.
"You OK?"
I feel bad as he looks at me with a little worry in his eyes but if I'm looking a little down then it's his fault for making me feel like this.
"Yes I'm fine. Where's Finley?"
I look around and see him playing with Milly from the wedding.
Jax tries his best to make everything seem OK and I start to relax, maybe I was just moaning and over reacting.
About an hour later Rhys gets everyone's attention. He and Sophie stand in the entrance of their home, the same doors Sophie walked down to him as a bride. Sophie looks a little shy and Rhys stands tall and proud.
"Thank you for coming. There are two reasons why we asked you to come over today."
I look to Jax for an answer but he looks just as confused as me and shrugs.
"Today we played in our home town again and it felt awesome. So to celebrate, we thought we would have a little party. Also..."
He looks down to Sophie who doesn't look nervous anymore. She's beaming as she takes over.
"All of you that are present mean a lot to us, and we wanted you all to hear our announcement at the same time."
Sophie looks up and Rhys and then places her hand over her stomach. Oh wow.
"I'm pregnant."
All of the girls rush up to her and congratulate her.
"Aw Soph
, I'm so happy for you."
I feel tears filling my eyes.
"God I've been dying to tell you all but I just wanted you all to know at the same time."
The guys all congratulate Rhys in a typical manly way. I feel so happy for him, when I get my turn I squeeze him as hard as I can.
"You're going to be an amazing dad. I'm so proud of you."
He squeezes me back.
"I hope so."
"I know so."
I don't know if it's me over thinking it and wishing it were true, but I am positive that I keep catching Jax looking at my stomach.
Chapter 21
~Jax~
I felt like shit knowing that I had put that look on Kendal's face, I shouldn't have kept quiet I should have spoken up and told her how much I wanted that. After Finley's innocent question I was shocked into silence, the truth is I want nothing more than for her to be my wife. To be completely mine.
I think I kept quiet because I was also scared. I was scared shitless that Kendal would reject me and run a mile with just the thought of marriage. Why would I not think that? She did run away after she had found out she was pregnant, why wouldn't she do it again if I proposed? So I kept quiet and gave her space to make sure she wouldn't freak out on me. She did look a little on edge.
After she had separated from Jessica and Sophie to go and talk to Tanya that's when I found out how wrong I was. Jessica, my forever inside source told me it was the total opposite. Kendal had kept quiet because she thought I didn't want it. Why would she think I didn't want her to be my wife? Will she ever get over her insecurities and see herself for what she is?
With my new information I try to be the perfect man for the rest of the barbecue to make it up to her. I try and make her see that she is the perfect woman for me. No one else will measure up.
After Rhys and Sophie had told us their great news that they were expecting a baby, I couldn't help but hope that would be me and Kendal one day. I missed out on all that excitement with Finley, I want that with Kendal. If what Jessica had told me was true and Kendal wanted the commitment of being my wife then why would she not want any more children?